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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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I tried to recall when I first met Theresa.
During a time when I didn’t know the concept of regression yet, when I was trying to gain my father’s approval.
Yuria still disliked me.
It was a time when I couldn’t escape the shock of losing my mother, so I remembered it was a mentally difficult period in many ways.
That was when Theresa approached me.
The day I first met Theresa, who had spoken to me as I stood alone on the balcony at a social gathering.
Creak-
As the old hinge swayed and the door opened, dust scattered.
There was only one person’s presence in the old mansion.
Theresa, recalling that name, I took a step forward.
-This is too much. No matter what, how can you do this to a person…!
She was the first to be angry at my wounds, the first to empathize with my situation.
So I was drawn to her.
Perhaps naturally, wasn’t it natural for one’s heart to be drawn to the person who embraced them for the first time since their mother?
At least I think I was sincere.
From the first death until the next few deaths.
It was Theresa who became my support in enduring the continuous deaths.
There were times when it was Miragen, but that was a bit of a later story, wasn’t it?
I remembered it was when I experienced my fifth death that the meaning of the name fiancée faded for me and I felt betrayed.
When I first died, all I thought was to focus on my family.
Although it was unfair to be accused of treason by the Crown Prince, I judged that such suspicions would be quickly resolved if I gained the trust of my family.
Weren’t we the only ducal family in this empire?
If they denied it, even if it was the Crown Prince, he would have no choice but to dismiss the treason charges.
But it didn’t change.
When I gained trust within the family, things went wrong in strange places.
And the one I found to be the cause was Theresa.
Surely it couldn’t be.
With the thought that it couldn’t be, I searched and eventually found out what she had done through the Taylor name.
-I’m sorry. I didn’t expect to be caught like this, I was a bit surprised. Since when were you investigating me?
A person’s mask changed in an instant like that, and the woman who always smiled warmly showed a colder sneer than ever.
There was no more affection in those eyes.
The woman who had smiled at me, who had promised love and a future, was gone.
I didn’t believe it.
I just thought it was only for this regression, and I repeated deaths that weren’t even necessary.
If Theresa manipulated everyone, I died, and if she showed such intentions, I died, and when I saw her siphoning off wealth again, I hanged myself.
What I realized in the lives that repeated countless times was that I had never been loved in the first place.
I think I wandered quite a bit from that period.
I deliberately seduced Miragen while having a fiancée, and for a while, I made Miragen my place of comfort.
Even after Miragen died and the period when I held a sword again passed.
I still kept Theresa as my fiancée.
I didn’t have any particular intention.
I was just trying to explore all the variables to find the detailed reason why I was dying.
I died even though I had the support of the family.
Even though I condoned Theresa’s actions and even progressed to marriage, nothing changed.
So I turned my attention to the Crown Prince himself and reached the goal of killing the Crown Prince.
I thought something was twisted.
There were things that couldn’t be done even with effort.
No matter which direction I went, no matter what means I used, time always flowed in the direction of me dying.
If, if.
Even though I always had these words in my mouth, Theresa always had them.
Now I was living in a time without Theresa.
The floor that had been full of dust was gradually becoming clean.
As if someone had walked around here, I realized that Theresa was getting closer as the floor revealed its color.
What should I say first if we meet?
When I actually thought about it, I had nothing in particular to say to Theresa.
It was natural since I never even thought we would meet again like this.
What would I say to the person I was going to kill as I went to kill Theresa?
-There was no letter today. I might be a little disappointed.
As I climbed the spiral staircase, my memories also moved upward together.
The memories I had with Theresa were not few.
Perhaps even more than Yuria.
I smiled bitterly at the thoughts that filled my mind, as the memories of when I believed her for a while always tormented me.
-Next time, if the young lady bullies you, tell me. I’ll try to do something about it.
Yuria, who heard Theresa’s words, imprisoned me in the basement.
I didn’t know it was something Theresa had orchestrated.
I just believed, so maybe I should only blame myself for believing.
Believing is a sin.
Believing in people and thinking they would be good was a sin.
-Isn’t it the fault of the one who believed? I don’t know why I thought I would love someone like you.
Then was there no one in this world who was not a sinner?
If it was a sin to want to be trusted, if it was a stupid and incompetent act to simply imagine a future where everyone survives.
I wanted to be a fool instead.
It’s something I’ve given up on now.
Hasn’t the man who tried to be a fool already died?
Creak-
When I reached the end of the stairs, I saw a huge door.
Unlike this old and dilapidated mansion, it was a clean and sophisticated door that looked like it had just been made.
As if reading my movement, that door opened its cracks and approached me.
Like that, the door slowly opened.
Even though my hair fluttered in the wind that spread around, my gaze was always directed at the woman sitting beyond the door.
When I first started the regression, there was a greeting I heard when I blankly looked at Theresa in the garden.
-Good morning, Robert.
“Good morning, Robert.”
Her voice was a bit colder and more ominous than then, but her words were the same.
However, there were quite a few differences in what I saw.
Because now I was hearing the words that I had always heard with the garden as the background inside a blood-stained room.
I gripped the sword.
Tightly grasping the hilt with a trembling hand, I looked at Theresa like that.
The bloodstained woman was looking at me.
Eyes that I thought would be filled only with hatred, but were filled with indescribable emotions, were directed at me.
“…It’s been a really long time.”
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By the time Robert came to find her, all her memories had already returned.
Theresa laughed softly.
The wounds that filled her body were the ones she had inflicted on Robert, so she thought he had endured them well.
Even though she had gained this much power, it was painful, so how did he endure this with the body of a mere human?
She learned that he had lived 101 lives.
Since she also belonged to Robert’s 101st life in the end, she now knew that the Robert who had come to kill her was completely different from the boy she had first met.
If it wasn’t for that reason, he wouldn’t have brought up the dissolution of their engagement.
“I don’t know if I should say it’s been a long time or that we’ve met too many times. Actually, I’m confused right now.”
“I can’t even call you human anymore. Did you want to take revenge on me that badly? While abandoning even your own identity and killing people.”
Robert’s gaze was directed at Theresa’s body itself.
Rather than a human form, it was closer to the appearance of a demon that the Four Dragons had once summoned.
Skin that was not just pale but had a grayish tint, and eyes that were dyed black.
He knew she had been influenced by the Four Dragons, but the constantly regenerating flesh couldn’t be called human no matter how you looked at it.
“I had no choice. Everything was ruined because of you.”
Then she burst into laughter with a snort.
Her mind, which had been confused as she regained her memories, had somewhat returned.
She was the one who killed her family and the servants.
Even her brother’s death was just a coincidence in the end.
Robert had seen her brother’s death countless times, so in the end, he had successfully completed his revenge on Violet without touching anything.
There was no revival.
Once she had come into contact with the Four Dragons, there was no possibility for Violet to be revived in this empire.
Rather, it was amazing that he didn’t abandon her until he died 100 times.
If she were Robert, she would have dealt with the person who betrayed her first.
Sorry, Theresa laughed softly.
If she called this emotion she felt now sorry, it was too vicious an emotion even for her to think.
Didn’t she approach him without a hint of love in the first place?
Then she got caught, and in the end, it got twisted and turned out like this.
There was no reason to be sorry.
However, this disgusting thing wriggling in her heart.
This was a more complicated emotion.
The emotion that had continued as the regression repeated, the emotion she had gained by killing Robert countless times and feeling that pain.
The heart that had only wished for revenge had somewhat faded, and the eyes turned towards Robert slightly wavered.
“You’re a pitiful person.”
Should she call this compassion?
It might be a ridiculous emotion for a man who had risked his life on foolish things and died 100 times, and for herself who had killed such a man countless times to harbor.
However, now that she realized she was twisted herself and knew that not everything was Robert’s doing.
She was able to look at him from a slightly more objective perspective.
“I don’t know what you mean by pitiful.”
“If a person dies 100 times and still lives like that, wouldn’t anyone think so?”
“…What.”
It was a face that showed the greatest emotion among the expressions she had seen so far.
She laughed softly as she saw his body tremble.
Perhaps there was no one who had figured out the memories of his previous regressions until now.
A giggling laughter leaked out from her torn mouth.
Robert’s eyes became a bit more serious, and his blue eyes without a hint of color were directed at Theresa.
“Did you recall it? The past.”
“I remember everything now. How I killed you, how you died.”
She stared intently at the finger pressed against her temple, then added with a snort.
“I’ve recalled it all.”
“So that’s why you were so relaxed. I thought you would be a little crazy.”
“Why would I go crazy when it’s all my doing? And recalling memories won’t change anything.”
Rumble rumble-
The ground began to vibrate.
The abilities she had gained while receiving the power of the Four Dragons were special.
Strength that ordinary people couldn’t possess, there was power that only beings called magicians could obtain.
Eventually, Theresa, who pulled out red tentacles from the ground, twisted the corners of her mouth.
“I can’t die peacefully here.”
Shing-
Theresa’s eyes took on a tinge of color as she saw the sword being pulled out cleanly.
That sword was not ordinary.
It must have been a sword wielded by someone who had mastered the sword at some point, not the powerless Robert.
She didn’t see all the lives he had lived.
She had only glimpsed the lives in which she was involved in his death, in which she died by his hand.
If she called this emotion regret, she thought it didn’t fit.
This was resignation.
Simply because she had realized what she had done herself.
Now she could let go of everything and not care.
Wasn’t there nowhere to return for herself who had killed her family?
Even if she lived here, she would eventually die somewhere.
If that was the case, it wouldn’t be bad to die at the hands of the fiancé she had been with for a very long time.
“…Ah, there’s one thing I want to tell you.”
As she whispered in an alluring voice, Robert’s body trembled again.
It was just ridiculous how he reacted to her every word.
What kind of heart was that man standing here with?
The man who had sincerely loved her at one point and later realized he had been betrayed.
What eyes was he looking at her with?
“I meant it when I said I never loved you. In all my lives, it’s the same for all the words you heard from me.”
Theresa couldn’t understand Robert.
Perhaps it was the same that they couldn’t understand each other.
However, it was certain that this would only end when one of the two died and disappeared.
If that was the case, it didn’t seem bad to die by Robert’s hand.
From the beginning, it was a relationship bound by bad fate, so if he suffered by killing her… wouldn’t that be the cleanest ending?
-Theresa.
There was a man who had softly whispered to her.
Yet there was a woman who had only tried to use him and even killed him.
Theresa, who recalled the letters that had always been sent to her, laughed softly.
Soon that laughter grew louder and louder, as if it had turned into the laughter of a madman.
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Crazy bitch. Thx for the chapter