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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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– You always look at me with strange eyes. Do you have something to say?
– No. I’m just a little worried about you.
An incomprehensible exchange.
Words she had never heard nor said were clearly a conversation between herself and Robert.
The Robert in her memories was someone who had blended more into the North.
He had shed all semblance of a noble from the central region, to the point where one could believe he was a member of the mercenary group she led.
…However, Robert Taylor was a noble from the central region.
Even if he wore a cloak, that nobility wouldn’t disappear.
His unique aura, his eyes that seemed like they would crumble at any moment.
They were quite different from the Robert in her memories.
Then what were these memories she was seeing?
Ever since Robert came to the North, Adele realized that her emotions were gradually twisting with these fragments that often came to mind.
They were completely different from the feelings she had when they first met and at the Full Moon Festival.
Should she say they were a little more affectionate?
Whenever their eyes met, a completely different emotion blossomed, and she vaguely noticed that this memory was causing confusion for her.
Hallucination.
Auditory hallucination.
– How long are you planning to stay in the North? We can’t be together forever.
– I will leave when Your Grace dies. Until then, I won’t go to the central region.
The way he looked at her was quite different from reality.
Then did this mean it was her delusion?
Adele smiled bitterly and got up.
The pale moonlight shining through the curtains touched her snow-white hair, emitting a faint glow.
This wasn’t just an auditory hallucination.
It was clearly her memory, but there were too many awkward points for it to be just that.
Why was Robert, who said he was leaving for the south, still staying here?
Why was he looking at her with those eyes?
But even that was not clear, and only vague emotions lingered.
Like the black traces left when a painting was scorched by fire, only the voice and eyes remained in that black illusion.
It had been several days since she couldn’t sleep properly due to the memories that naturally came to mind when she fell asleep.
Was it her delusion, or had she unknowingly had a connection with Robert?
Adele hugged her knees at the incomprehensible thoughts.
“Haa.”
What had been making Adele feel complicated recently was none other than Robert’s existence.
An existence that couldn’t be controlled by her will, that easily slipped away even if she took an interest in him.
Couldn’t he be considered a particularly strange man in Adele’s life?
Even while leading the mercenary group and unifying the North, even while becoming the Grand Duchess and coming this far.
To Adele, all beings were merely something she could “control.”
No matter how strong they were, if she directly led soldiers and cut them down, she could subjugate them.
No matter what problems there were, if she called Lothos and told him to solve them, they would be solved.
If there was something she wanted, she got it.
If it was somewhere else, she didn’t know, but the territory of the North was practically a land where Adele could do anything.
From the time she was a young child who had lost her parents and wandered around, as long as she had a single sword, even the neighborhood bullies couldn’t use their strength in front of her.
– I’m thinking of going back now.
When Robert said he was coming to the North, Adele had really thought of keeping him by her side.
He didn’t seem like he would be very active in the central region, and his hidden skills were outstanding to the point where even calling them excellent would be an understatement.
So she made him her deputy and intended to watch him play an active role in the subjugation of the tribes.
It was during that time that this hallucination came to mind.
A memory that couldn’t possibly exist, but naturally settled as if it had definitely happened.
It didn’t take long for the faint anxiety she felt whenever she saw Robert to amplify.
The moment the princess appeared alone, a ringing sound was heard in her ears.
Without even properly preparing, she ran straight ahead.
Why did she have to be in such a hurry?
Why did she become so impatient and run without even making a proper judgment?
What she felt when she heard that Robert was going to the south was annoyance.
It was partly because her expectation that he would stay in the North for a few more days was shattered, but it was more because it was another unexpected situation.
The fact that he showed no reaction even when she held a sword to his throat.
His abrupt visit to the North in the winter, his decision to go alone to save the princess.
And now his intention to go to the south earlier than planned.
None of her predictions were coming true, were they?
She seemed to have gotten angry for a moment at the thought that he was deliberately avoiding her grasp.
There was no need to get angry.
At the sudden embarrassment that came to mind, Adele rubbed her cheek.
“I… don’t know why I’m acting like this.”
It was excessive concern to show towards someone she had only met a few times and had only seen for a few weeks in the North.
There was no need to care about what he did, was there?
Although he shared several things in common with her father, Robert wasn’t so weak that he would suddenly die somewhere.
He would do well on his own even if she left him alone.
Even if she didn’t care, even if she wasn’t there.
Haa.
Her sighs were an appeal for the frustration she felt.
She might have been slightly denying that when she looked at Robert, she was overlapping him with someone.
The person whose wishes were never fully granted until the end, the person who eventually left and completely disappeared no matter how much she tried to keep him by her side.
Like her father.
The reason she told him to stay for two days was to sort out these complicated feelings.
Affection?
Adele scoffed and smiled bitterly.
It wasn’t such a feeling.
Although she had never harbored affection, she didn’t think her feelings towards Robert were close to affection.
It was just that he bothered her, that she became concerned when he wasn’t in sight.
She was anxious.
Afraid that he would disappear, that one day she would suddenly hear the news of his death like her father.
So she was annoyed.
It hadn’t been long since he was badly injured by the tribes, but instead of staying here longer, he said he would go straight to the south.
She wanted to avoid ominous thoughts as much as possible, but she couldn’t help them from lingering in her mind.
When she slightly furrowed her brows, a dim light was visible.
Recalling her own actions, an involuntary smile formed.
The actions she had taken swept up in momentary emotions, the embarrassment about them was only coming to her now, and a small heat touched her cheeks.
Why did she have to grab his collar there, it would be fine to just consider him a strange person, wouldn’t it?
There was no need for that.
She and Robert had no relationship at all.
He was a temporary deputy, a person she had met by chance.
That was all there was to it.
In her dream, she and Robert were quite close.
They always went around together, and sometimes they would ride wolves and wander around the North, just the two of them.
So it must have been a misunderstanding.
She mistakenly believed that this incomprehensible dream had really happened, that this memory was really something she didn’t know about.
That’s all it was, a belief.
Adele’s eyes, which had been staring into the void for a moment, closed tightly.
Her head slid down against the wall and touched the pillow, and a few minutes passed like that.
When she opened her eyes again, they turned towards the ceiling.
Until the pale moonlight faded and dawn arrived.
… For a very long time, she just stared at the ceiling like that.
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Two days wasn’t a time so long that he couldn’t accept it.
Moreover, since Adele had said it, he couldn’t refuse, and there was no justification to refuse, so he had no choice but to stay in the North.
Two days.
This much time wouldn’t cause a disruption to his schedule.
The only thing he was curious about was what she wanted to convey to make him wait two days.
Even after a day passed, Adele didn’t appear.
And even today, on the second day, she still hadn’t appeared.
She wasn’t seen in the office where she worked, so everyone was puzzled, and Lothos even asked me about Adele’s condition.
Even if he asked about Adele’s condition, there wasn’t much I could answer.
I only knew that she seemed disappointed in me, but I didn’t even know why she was disappointed.
Most of the things I experienced in this round were things I was experiencing for the first time.
It started from the moment I told Theresa about the broken engagement.
There were no more variables or situations that I knew.
Even this attitude of Adele’s was quite awkward.
Of course, it wasn’t the first time she showed such an expression, but it was the third time I had met Adele.
The first time I met her was when I was broken after dying to Miragen and dying a few more times, the second time I met her was when I decided to start anew in the North. And this was the third time.
Out of those three encounters, we were together almost always for two of them, so during that time, I think we had a rather peculiar relationship.
Wasn’t it a time when Adele seemed like a savior to me?
And Adele also didn’t see me as an ordinary deputy.
She didn’t easily reveal her past.
Even Lothos, who had been with her the longest, didn’t know about Adele’s past.
The reason I knew about her past, which she didn’t reveal, was probably due to the feelings Adele had for me during that time.
“… Lovers.”
Although we didn’t reach the same level as Miragen, there was a time when we vaguely harbored such feelings for each other.
So it must have remained a regret.
Because I couldn’t stop Adele from leaving for the imperial palace, and moreover, I didn’t even try to go with her.
– I won’t die, Robert. So wait for me. I’ll prove that your worries were wrong.
Whenever I thought about going to find Adele, who hadn’t shown up for the past few days, such thoughts would come to mind and make me hesitate.
What on earth was she doing that she hadn’t appeared for two days?
It was me who would be leaving tomorrow morning.
As more time passed and night approached, I slowly began to worry about Adele, who still hadn’t shown herself.
But even if I went to find her, what should I say?
After messing up my hair this way and that, I then wiped my face and lowered my head.
It was frustrating.
Just as Adele was annoyed with me, I was also frustrated.
Living with memories and feelings that only I knew was bound to wear down a person’s mind.
There were more than a few times when I wanted to let go of everything when I saw the same actions over and over again and saw people showing the same actions as time passed.
I briefly clenched my wrist tightly and let out a heavy sigh like that.
It was me who actually wanted to stay in the North.
Since there was no place where I could be as comfortable as here, if I had no purpose, I would have settled down here for good.
But I couldn’t stand still any longer.
To end this regression and die, I had to move even if I didn’t like it.
Let’s not have any lingering attachments, let’s not have any regrets.
Around the time I was calming my mind like that, I heard a knocking sound on the door.
Knock knock-
“It’s Lothos. Her Grace is calling for you, are you busy?”
“No, I’ll go and see her.”
The sound that had been heard in the quiet room was cut off like that again.
After fixing my clothes and heading out the door, Lothos was staring at me with a bizarre expression.
It was an expression that seemed to say, “What on earth did you do?” I shrugged my shoulders and opened my mouth.
“Did something happen?”
“Hmm. No, not exactly. It’s just that… Her Grace has changed a bit. I thought there must have been some external influence.”
When I tilted my head at the words that she had changed, Lothos smiled meaningfully and hurried his steps.
The place I went to after being told that Adele had called for me was naturally the office.
Just as I was about to open the door, wondering what had changed, Lothos approached and spoke softly.
“Enjoy your intimate time.”
“… I don’t know what you mean.”
But Lothos disappeared with those words.
With the thought of what intention he had said that with, I slowly opened the door.
When the scene was finally revealed, I could understand Lothos’ words to some extent.
“You’re here. I wonder if I called for you too late.”
The Grand Duchess, who always wore a cloak, was gone.
The mercenary leader who wielded a sword and killed the tribes did not exist.
She wasn’t rough.
She wasn’t cold.
Slightly shy, a little gentle.
The woman who showed a faint blush on her cheeks was staring at me intently.
Adele, wearing a blue dress the same color as her eyes, looked at me while slightly lifting her skirt with an awkward gesture.
Hesitating, she moved her lips slightly like that.
“… It’s the first time I’ve worn it, does it suit me?”
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[T/N: 0_0 ]
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