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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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The world was pure white.
The sky, the ground, everything around me was white, with no other colors in sight.
And within this white space, scenes from my past started to flicker before my eyes.
…
Shit. It’s a flashback.
Did I actually die?
No way.
I’m the protagonist!
I recalled my last moments.
That overwhelming weapon disguised as a book.
The way it brutally smashed into my head.
As I thought about it, I came to a confident conclusion.
Yep!
I’m dead!
Acceptance came swiftly.
Since I died a clean death, it was time to follow the trends of the times and do the right thing.
What era are we in?
That’s right.
The era of skyrocketing land and housing prices!
If you don’t secure a spot in advance, you’ll be stuck paying rent even in the afterlife – a hardcore life indeed.
It’s not too late, is it?
Just let me stake my claim on a piece of land.
Prime real estate, here I come!
I’m going in!
As I was lost in thought, a scene of my past self talking with Kang-hyuk flashed before my eyes.
While it was a bit annoying that a gloomy old man appeared in my final moments, the content of their conversation was hard to ignore.
“Old man, why do you always seem to know what’s going to happen?”
“You’ll understand when you experience it yourself.”
Suddenly, the title of the book I borrowed from the library came to mind.
30 Regressions is Too Damn Much.
The title seemed to point towards the answer.
My brain, which I had rarely used properly in my life, started to work.
Words slowly combined in my mind.
Acting in advance.
Experienced.
Prediction and action.
Unwanted outcomes.
Regression.
Even with my dull brain, I began to understand the answer these words were pointing to.
But before I could delve deeper, my consciousness began to flicker again.
What’s the point of figuring it out anyway?
Buying land is more important!
Let’s go! To heavenly real estate!
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“Don’t touch my prime land!!! You bastards!!!”
The person who had just regained consciousness shouted deliriously as they opened their eyes.
An unfamiliar ceiling.
No, a truly unfamiliar ceiling.
This wasn’t some light novel cliché.
I sat up and looked around, trying to figure out where I was.
Then, I remembered my last moments.
Ah.
That bitch.
I touched my head, but there were no stitches.
Just a slight tingling sensation.
I caressed my head, etching the feeling into my heart.
‘If you can’t finish me off in one blow, you’re next, you bitch.’
Perhaps because I had regained consciousness, the events from my dream slowly resurfaced in my memory.
Then, my brain froze again.
‘Work, damn it, brain.’
I smacked my head a few times.
It hurt my hand, but it was definitely effective.
My brain started working again.
With my creaky brain, I thought it through.
Conclusion 1) The black number increases when a person experiences the future and returns through regression. One number for one future experienced.
Conclusion 2) What people perceive as prediction is actually a fragmented memory from their past regression.
Conclusion 3) However, most people simply consider regression as prediction and act accordingly. In other words, they are unaware of their regression.
To be honest, these conclusions were shaky.
No one told me this, and it wasn’t a perfect fit.
It wasn’t completely certain, and it could be revised at any time.
However, assuming everyone was capable of regression, this was the best conclusion I could draw.
I also added a speculative conclusion:
Conclusion 4) When returning from the future through regression, the red number increases only in the following cases:
4-1) When facing a completely unexpected situation that differs from the experienced future.
4-2) When failing to avoid a situation despite attempting to do so.
An example of 4-1) would be suddenly getting hit by a car right after leaving the house – an unexpected event.
An example of 4-2) would be getting caught in the rain despite trying to avoid it.
In Assistant Manager Han’s case, it was probably 4-2).
He tried to go home early, anticipating getting drunk, but was completely blocked by his Section Chief, resulting in an increase in his red number.
However, there were still some unanswered questions.
Question 1) What determines the point in time to which one returns through regression after experiencing the future?
Question 2) How many times can one regress at once?
Question 3) How far into the future can one experience through regression?
Suddenly, Kang-hyuk came to mind.
The way he said “experienced” suggested he could regress, and unlike others, he seemed aware of it.
But he hid it from me.
You’re dead meat, bastard.
I couldn’t just let it slide with a “That’s okay.”
It could potentially become a “This is frustrating, I’m dropping this story” moment.
As a web novel protagonist, it was important to raise hell immediately when pissed off.
As I picked up my phone to call Kang-hyuk, the curtain on my left suddenly swished open.
A woman in a white coat peeked in.
Seeing that I was awake, she smiled and said,
“Oh, you’re finally awake!”
“…?”
“If you hadn’t woken up today, I was going to call a funeral home.”
She was a woman in her late 20s with a brown ponytail.
Her joke wasn’t funny at all, but I barely registered her words.
My attention was captured by a large, divine object in my field of vision.
A mommy dispenser.
A magnificent and awe-inspiring mommy dispenser was right before my eyes.
No, scratch that.
Such a crude term couldn’t possibly do it justice.
Yes.
It was a medical bag.
A magical bundle capable of reviving the dying.
I tore my gaze away from the medical bag and asked the woman,
“Where am I?”
“You’re in the infirmary. Are you sure you’re alive?”
“Why would you try to kill someone who’s perfectly fine?”
“…Do you remember how you got here?”
The woman’s expression was a mixture of emotions.
Amazement at the resilience of human life.
Disgust at seeing a human cockroach still alive.
Above all, doubt as to whether what she was seeing was real.
“Vaguely?”
“A normal person would be crippled or dead after being hit like that.”
She scratched her head and continued,
“Do you remember how many times you were hit?”
“Twice?”
“Three times. How are you even alive?”
So she did hit me three times.
That bitch.
“Well, I guess I won’t be needing this. Too bad, I was hoping to use it.”
She gestured towards a large bouquet of chrysanthemums.
Her disappointed expression at not being able to use them was irritating.
What the fuck?
What’s there to be disappointed about, you bitch?
You reap what you sow.
So, I decided to return the favor.
“Anyway, thanks for everything, auntie.”
“It’s ‘sister,’ you little shit!!!!”
She whipped out a knife in an instant.
“Sist-…”
“Yes, call me ‘sister.'”
“Sister, my ass. Just kill me, you old hag.”
“You bastard!!!”
She threw the knife, but I deflected it with my head.
Meanwhile, I caught a glimpse of the outside.
The sun had already set, and darkness was creeping in.
The woman, witnessing this absurd scene, said in an exasperated tone,
“Ugh, forget it. I’m Ye-rim. Call me Sister Ye-rim.”
“Okay, Sister Ye-rim. I’m Kim Shinwoo.”
She waved her hand casually and pointed towards the door.
“You seem fine, so go on. See you around.”
“I was brought here because I was caught off guard. We won’t be seeing each other again.”
“I have a feeling we’ll cross paths again.”
The only doctor you should be saying “see you again” to is a gynecologist, you hag.
I don’t want a life as messy as instant noodles.
Despite telling me to leave, she remained seated at her desk, doing nothing.
It was strange that she wasn’t leaving when it was time to go home, so I asked,
“Do you hate going home, sister?”
“I’m on duty, you bastard.”
“I’m sorry.”
She gritted her teeth and said,
“They said they’d let me off duty if I got a boyfriend.”
“You’ll find one soon.”
“That’s why I’ve been on duty every single time since I started working here.”
“…”
She was the first person in the academy who helped me.
Before leaving, I decided to offer her a small favor.
“Do you have any preferences when it comes to boyfriends?”
“Are you hitting on me? I’m not interested in younger guys.”
I had to put a stop to her inflated ego.
“I’m not into aunties either. You probably smell like a chicken coop.”
“I’m still a chick in the coop, you little shit.”
Come on, a coop is a coop.
Are there tiers for chicken coops too?
Shameless hag.
She sighed and said with a forlorn look,
“Someone older with decent looks would be fine. So, why are you asking?”
“I know an old man I could introduce you to.”
“Please! I’m begging you!!!”
I showed her the old man’s profile on my phone.
True to his lazy lifestyle, he didn’t even have a few decent photos on his profile.
Ye-rim examined it with the keen eyes of a predator looking for prey and said seriously,
“He has potential, but I can’t be sure.”
“You don’t have a boyfriend anyway, so why not give it a shot?”
She took my phone, typed in her number, and handed it back.
“Okay, this is my contact info. Please introduce us.”
“Sure. I’ll tell him to shave his beard and dress nicely when he meets you.”
“Great. If it works out, you can be the officiant and sing at our wedding.”
“…Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, sister.”
But my words seemed to fall on deaf ears as she stared blankly into space with a dreamy expression, drooling slightly.
“Three kids would be nice, right? We’ll name them Beautiful, Lovely, and Love.”
“…Sister, hold on. I’m all for it, but please choose different names.”
Don’t use those names.
You’ll regret it later.
Suddenly, I remembered something crucial.
“Oh, how old should I tell him you are?”
“28.”
She looked away, suddenly switching from Korean age to international age.
“What year were you born?”
“28.”
But I knew the truth.
She was 30.
Because even after seeing the glorious medical bag, my little friend showed no reaction.
Yes.
My hag detector was activated.
I smirked and turned to leave the infirmary.
“I got it, sister. Don’t worry.”
“I’m sorry! Please tell him I’m at least 29!!!”
She grabbed onto my pants leg and pleaded.
She was a shameless 30-year-old hag, but I decided to give her a break.
“Just this once.”
“Thank you! Thank you so much!”
Leaving her behind, I stepped out of the infirmary.
At that moment, as if she had just remembered something, she muttered,
“Oh, you’ve been here for seven days…”
Unfortunately, I didn’t hear those words.
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The first thing that came to mind after leaving the infirmary was the books.
It was a bit frustrating that I borrowed them but couldn’t read them.
Ye-rim said they had already been moved to my dorm.
But I already had a general idea about my ability.
I didn’t need books anymore.
Except for the godly novel “30 Regressions,” I decided to return the rest of the kindling.
On my way to the cafeteria, I called the old man.
The phone rang, but he immediately hung up.
Oh.
I have more time than you.
I’m going to keep calling until you pick up, you bastard.
Finally, after several attempts, the call connected.
-“You crazy bastard! I’m trying to focus, stop calling me, damn it!”
“You wanker. Were you jerking off again?”
-“You know that and you still call? Hang up, fuck.”
“Why are you so cranky after we just introduced ourselves yesterday?”
He seemed even grumpier than usual, as if I had interrupted his happy time.
Then, he replied, sounding confused,
-“What are you talking about? Yesterday? Anyway, what’s up? Hurry up before my boner goes away.”
“You always said ‘I’ve experienced it’ when I asked why you acted in advance, right?”
-“Did I? Me?”
“You’re getting dementia already? And you weren’t even right most of the time.”
-“My brain is more delicate than your rock-hard head.”
He was acting all high and mighty despite being as dumb as me.
Perhaps he was eager to get back to his happy time, because he urged me to get to the point.
-“Let’s just say I did. So what?”
“I’m just going to come out and say it. You can regress, right?”
-“…Don’t talk nonsense. I’m hanging up.”
Seeing that he was about to hang up without answering, I quickly said,
“Acting in advance is a prediction, not something from the realm of experience.”
-“So?”
“From the moment you said ‘experienced,’ your words should be interpreted from the perspective of experience.”
-“You think I can regress based on that alone?”
“Yes.”
He scoffed and tried to hang up again.
-“You’re talking crazy. I don’t know anything. Good luck.”
“Oh, right.”
Since he seemed unwilling to cooperate, I threw him a bait.
“I was going to introduce you to a woman, but it’s a shame.”
-“…Is she pretty?”
He took the bait.
Instead of answering, I sent him Ye-rim’s picture through messenger.
A few seconds later, I heard his desperate cry.
-“Hey! Please! Save me brother! Please!”
He was so desperate that he even started using honorifics with me.
Regression wasn’t important to him anymore.
He was a pitiful and desperate soul clinging to this opportunity.
“Tsk tsk! You seem busy. I can’t take up any more of your time.”
-“I can regress up to 30 minutes into the past! One-hour cooldown! That’s all I know, I swear!!!”
“Why didn’t you just say so from the start?”
He confessed everything about his regression, not wanting to provoke me any further.
Then, as if something dawned on him, he asked,
-“Wait, how did you suddenly figure out about regression?”
“You learn a lot when your head gets smashed.”
-“…How can you smash your head? Do you douse it with dragon breath or something?”
He recalled the resilience of my head and said incredulously.
I briefly summarized my conclusions and told him.
People’s predictions and actions were actually the result of regression, and my ability seemed to read the number of times they had regressed.
Finally, I added that since everyone had a number above their head, everyone might be capable of regression.
After hearing everything, he said in a shaky voice,
-“Don’t you dare report me, okay? I’m serious, you’ll be screwed.”
“Behave yourself, and I won’t report you. I’ll even introduce you to that woman.”
-“Damn! I knew I could count on you, brother!”
He took a few deep breaths as if to calm himself down and continued,
-“Like I said before, I can regress up to 30 minutes into the past.”
“Is it the same for everyone?”
-“How the hell should I know? Anyway, I can’t regress again for an hour after I do it once.”
“You haven’t used it much, considering.”
His number wasn’t that high, even though he could regress frequently with short intervals.
-“It’s a frustrating ability. Lately, I only use it when choosing porn.”
“What a useless way to use it.”
-“You have no choice when you get tricked by misleading covers. Gotta save time somehow.”
Then, I remembered the first time he tricked me.
“You used it when you recommended that ‘masterpiece’ to me, didn’t you? You bastard!!!!”
-“Honestly, it was awesome, right?”
Because of this asshole, my PTSD was acting up again.
“You didn’t tell me something this important? Are you a traitor?!”
-“Huh? What?”
“But is there a reason you kept this a secret?”
-“Of course.”
He explained it as if it were common sense.
-“Regression is a type of future prediction.”
“Yes, it is.”
-“I’m already a multi-ability user, and if I reveal that I can also regress, what do you think will happen?”
“…….Ah.”
-“They’ll exploit me until I die.”
For ability users, Korea was a high-difficulty country.
They were treated poorly, yet the government wanted to control everything.
Revealing that you could predict the future through regression?
You could seriously get locked up somewhere.
At that moment, as if he had just remembered something, he said,
-“Hey, wait a minute. You said you can see numbers above everyone’s head, right?”
“For now, I think so?”
-“If that’s true, then we have to assume everyone can regress.”
“Th…that so?”
As I replied hesitantly, he quickly continued,
-“No, listen carefully. What do you think is the criteria for being aware of regression?”
“…I don’t know.”
-“I believe it’s the presence or absence of an ability.”
He spoke calmly, but he sounded certain.
“Do you have any basis for that?”
-“It’s more of experience and intuition.”
“That’s a bit vague.”
-“All the guys I’ve met so far who could even remotely predict my actions were all ability users.”
“Aha.”
His explanation made sense.
Suddenly, something unsettling came to mind.
“Fuck.”
-“What’s wrong?”
“Usually, only ability users go to Hunter Academies, right?”
-“That’s right.”
“So everyone there can regress?”
-“That’s why you should always think of the worst-case scenario. You can’t just pretend something didn’t happen because you can’t regress.”
His words sparked anger within me.
“You bastard, you recommended granny porn to someone who can’t even regress!”
-“That’s why I’m saying you need to prepare for the worst.”
“Ha… good luck.”
As I was about to hang up, he shouted desperately,
-“Brother Shinwoo! About that woman! Please!”
“Ah, that?”
The tables had turned.
I spoke to him with the utmost malice,
“Bark like a dog.”
-“This policy proposal must be pushed through as an economic policy for the benefit of the people.”
“I’ll give you her contact info.”
I was tempted to keep making him bark, but I couldn’t let this opportunity slip away.
He was so desperate that he hung up immediately after getting the number.
As I ate my late dinner at the cafeteria, I organized my thoughts.
I couldn’t regress.
But I could tell whether others could.
Assuming everyone in the academy could regress, there were two types of people I needed to watch out for.
One was someone with a black number significantly higher than their red number.
This meant they had regressed many times with few failures.
The other was someone with a very low black number but suspiciously successful.
In this case, they likely saw far into the future, achieving significant gains from a few regressions.
Although unintentional, I finally figured out what my ability was.
And for dinner, I had delicious sausage and vegetables.
Could things get any better than this?
Amazing.
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“Amazing, my ass! You bastards!!!”
With glucose replenishing my brain, my thoughts started racing.
And I realized the most idiotic aspect of my ability.
‘Wow! Regression!’
‘You can do that?!’
‘But I can’t!’
I bought a bunch of soju from the academy’s convenience store and headed back to my dorm.
On the way, I slumped onto a bench.
I took out a bottle from the bag, chugged it down, and cursed.
“Fuck!!!”
What was the point of knowing if others could regress?
I couldn’t even use it myself, only spectate.
Even defeat masturbation would be less miserable than this.
“I want to regress too, you bastards…”
Maybe I can regress if I use the power of [I don’t know]?
[I don’t know] doesn’t exist, sir!
I forced the bitter alcohol down my throat.
But even alcohol couldn’t quell the rising resentment.
“Everyone and their dog can regress!! Why can’t I!!!!!”
It didn’t take long for the full bottle to become empty.
And my hand was already reaching for the third bottle.
“I’m gonna drink myself to death, fuck… I still have five days until classes start.”
At that moment, a warning sounded in my head.
A sharp warning urging me to check the date on my phone.
But what was alcohol?
It clouded judgment and caused countless accidents.
That’s how I was born by mistake.
A bonafide alcohol baby.
My alcohol-dulled brain successfully suppressed the warning.
I cracked open another bottle and chugged it down.
To keep the frustration at bay, I held the soju bottle to my mouth and kept pouring it in.
Within an hour, I had already finished five bottles.
Then, without warning, drowsiness washed over me.
I tried to fight it, but a part of me whispered to surrender to the sweet temptation of sleep.
Before long, I started nodding off, soju bottle still in hand.
I heard a click from somewhere, but I had already succumbed to sleep.
I fell into a deep slumber, completely oblivious.
The next day, an article in the school newspaper caught everyone’s attention.
The title consisted of provocative words: “Life’s fucked. Suicide.”
And the picture attached to the article was of me, asleep with a soju bottle in my hand.
Of course, I was still unaware of this.
For now.
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My guy really achieved enlightenment through brain damage, huh.