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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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Once is enough for a prank.
Anything more crosses the line from playful to malicious.
‘Seriously, this crazy bitch got kicked out and snuck back in to mess with me again?!’
The world being frozen didn’t matter anymore.
I was pissed.
‘You bitch, you think I’m falling for that again? Fuck off, I’m in deep shit right now.’
[This one is offering to help you.]
‘You got dragged out earlier, when did you even get back in? Stop interfering and just leave!’
[No, at least listen to what this one has to-]
But the voice in my head wouldn’t listen.
A voice suddenly appearing in my head?
They said there are voice phishing scams that use telepathy these days, but I wouldn’t fall for it.
‘You’re voice phishing, aren’t you? Are you one of those Korean-Chinese scammers?’
[This one is not a-]
‘I’m not buying any gift cards, you bitch! No nude cams either!!’
[Wait a minute.]
‘I support Tibetan independence! Say ‘Xi Jinping is a bastard’ if you’re not a Joseonjok!’
[Will you listen to what this one has to say!!!!!]
‘Argh! Stop yelling!!!’
My head started pounding.
Even though the world was frozen, I felt dizzy.
As if my head was stuck in a washing machine’s spin cycle.
[This one is speaking, why do you keep interrupting?!]
‘Sorry, I’m a victim of voice phishing, you know?’
[Listen! Back in my day, you listened quietly when your elders spoke!]
‘I listened quietly earlier and got fucked over, damn it.’
[Anyway, look around. What do you think of the situation?]
Well, it didn’t seem like voice phishing, so I calmly looked around.
The frozen world, my bound body, the axe hurtling towards me, and finally, that annoying elf’s face.
There was only one conclusion.
‘What else? I’m screwed.’
[You’re right, aren’t you? Do you think you can overcome this situation?]
‘Are you mocking me?’
[Yes, it’s impossible at the moment.]
The voice in my head chuckled, then continued,
[Observer, as you are now, you cannot overcome this alone.]
*‘So you’re just saying I’m going to lose? Then just leave. Go away, lady.’ *
[Listen here! Be careful what you say! What I meant is that you alone cannot do this.]
‘But you called me an Observer. That reminds me of the ‘Omniscient First-Person’s Viewpoint.’ Can you change it to ‘Watcher’?’
That plagiarism-filled story is a no-go.
Especially since I already got in trouble for mentioning it before.
[…Fine, as you wish.]
‘But what can I even do? I’m literally about to die.’
[Dear, can you see the numbers above people’s heads?]
‘…Who are you?’
[That is not important.]
No one should know about this.
But this voice in my head knew about me.
And in great detail.
A strange feeling of tension coursed through my body, but the voice didn’t seem bothered.
[Do you understand why this one calls you the Watcher?]
‘…Because I’m spying on other people’s regression count?’
[Oh, you’ve even figured out regression? You’re smarter than you look.]
‘Seriously, what do I even look like? Everyone tells me I look stupid.’
[You look like a typical top lane main with delusions of grandeur.]
‘Damn.’
The voice cleared its throat and continued,
[Anyway, because you’re the Watcher, you’re an anomaly in their world.]
‘I never said I wanted to be a Watcher. And I’m doing just fine.’
[But you haven’t acquired what they refer to as an ‘ability’ yet, have you?]
‘…Well, that’s true.’
Suddenly, I felt a bit annoyed.
That was a low blow.
[That is proof that you’re separated from their world.]
‘But how is that relevant to the current situation?’
[That’s why this one is going to help you.]
‘Huh? You’re going to give me an ability? Goddess, thank you.’
The tension, the fear, everything vanished.
If she was giving me an ability, she had to be on my side.
I quickly made my request.
‘Please give me the ability to stop time.’
[…That’s impossible, but why?]
‘The ‘Time Stop’ genre is my kink, you know?’
[You’re insane.]
What is a man’s fantasy?
Invisibility, time manipulation, a mind control app.
If I’m getting an ability, it should be something that fulfills my fantasies, right?
[This one will simply help you take a step into their world.]
‘How is that helpful?’
[You might acquire what they call “ability,” wouldn’t you?]
‘What kind of ability?’
[You won’t know until you try.]
*‘What, is this a gachapon or something.’ *
This must be what it feels like to be the protagonist of a “transmigrated into a novel” story.
Please don’t let it be something useless.
Like something from Black London Saga.
[Well, once you gain an ability, your basic strength and other physical stats will increase, so won’t it be easier to handle this?]
‘They said mana is also gained as a result. How about enhancing my body with mana?’
[Don’t be so greedy. Even Eldmia, with his natural talent, took a long time to achieve that.]
Trying to enhance my body with mana right away would be an illogical development, considering my lack of talent.
It would be a point of contention, with readers criticizing the story’s lack of plausibility.
Then, a question popped into my head.
‘Wait a minute, what do you mean by “Watcher”? Am I some kind of Metaverse observer?’
[…That’s for people who have lives to live.]
‘Ah.’
With those words, time slowly returned to its normal flow.
And I felt the pressure at my fingertips once again.
‘Oh, right. I was about to die.’
The axe was cleaving through the tip of my sword, already halfway through.
I twisted my right wrist inward.
The unexpected force applied to the axe…
Made him lose his grip. He wasn’t accustomed to handling weapons.
“Huh?”
Confusion appeared on Lucian’s face.
He couldn’t comprehend what just happened.
Meanwhile, my body felt different.
Even though I was exhausted, a faint strength surged through me.
The basic physical enhancement that came with an ability awakening.
‘Phase two, pointy-ears.’
I pulled my right foot free from the vines.
They snapped effortlessly and disintegrated. Before they could fully disappear, I swiftly kicked Lucian in the abdomen.
He was sent reeling backward with a gasp.
I seized the opportunity and broke free from the remaining vines on my left arm and leg.
“You! You! How?!”
Lucian’s voice was filled with shock.
It must have been unbelievable for him.
How could a dying man suddenly gain such strength?
My right hand held both the sword and the axe embedded in it.
I grabbed the axe handle with my left hand and pulled it free, splitting the sword in two.
My movements resembled Varian Wrynn splitting his sword…
…No, this time, I’m going to win.
Dual wielding isn’t a symbol of defeat anymore.
I thrust the split sword towards the stunned Lucian.
It wouldn’t be effective as a slashing weapon anymore, but it was still sharp enough for thrusting.
The spirit, wary of me, unlike its master, unleashed another shockwave to block the attack.
My right hand was flung back, and the sword flew away.
My body was still exhausted, despite the enhanced stats.
I wouldn’t have lost my grip if I were in my usual condition.
But the same applied to my opponent.
Lucian’s expression suddenly turned sour after the spirit’s defense.
A desperate, confused cry escaped his lips.
“No! What’s wrong? Where did you go? Why aren’t you answering?!”
‘That must have been the spirit’s last resort.’
I swung the axe in my left hand downward, aiming for Lucian’s right shoulder.
But the number above his head had already increased again. He quickly summoned two trees to protect his shoulder.
Obstacles suddenly appeared in the path of the axe.
The axe embedded itself in the trees, but I wasn’t bothered.
They were already weakened.
I punched the axe head with my right fist.
The sight resembled hitting a nail (the axe) with a hammer (my fist).
Crack!
The axe shattered the trees, sending splinters flying.
And the axe head, through the cloud of wood splinters, plunged into Lucian’s shoulder.
The red number above his head went up, accompanied by his scream.
“Arghhhhhhhh!!!!”
Reacting to his scream, several trees shot towards my left arm, trying to pull the axe out.
Although they were easy to break as they were already rotten to the core, their tips were still sharp.
Several branches pierced through my arm, then my arm was ripped off below the shoulder, gruesomely.
“Kyaaa!!! That fucking hurts!!!”
My left arm was gone.
But I still had my right.
I grabbed the axe handle with my right hand and pulled it out with all my might.
A red curtain, following the axe’s path, painted the air.
Lucian, seeing that beautiful creation, turned pale.
“To think I’d be defeated by a mere short-lived species!!!”
“We’ve been at this for three chapters, just give up! I’ll send you to heaven!”
I chased after Lucian, who was trying to retreat.
Moving forward was much more advantageous than backpedaling.
I quickly closed the distance.
The axe was within range.
It was time to borrow the power of my senior from another world.
First, I severed his left arm with a swing.
Using Lucian’s screams as a work song, I then chopped off his right arm.
At the same time, I stomped on his left foot with my right foot.
Unable to escape, his left thigh was pinned in place, and I brought the axe down on it.
I sneered at him, as he lay there pathetically, and finished the technique by striking his right thigh.
Ah… This is it, Ian.
I’ve achieved enlightenment once again.
For the grand finale, I slammed the axe into the center of his head, turning his single core into a dual core.
The training ground system deactivated.
My wounds began to heal.
I stood there for a moment, savoring the sensation, and then muttered softly,
“I ripped him apart.”
Damn it.
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Lucian, being a Gold-tier, regained consciousness quickly after the training ground system deactivated.
He immediately sat up and pointed at me accusingly.
“I… I can’t lose! This is invalid!”
“Stop with the bullshit. I ripped you apart.”
“This is! Impossible!!”
He grabbed me by the collar in a fit of rage.
He was so worked up that he was spitting all over the place, forgetting his usual composure.
The daggers scattered at his feet clattered, but his eyes were fixated on me.
“You must have cheated!”
“Cheated, my ass. You’re just in denial because you got your ass kicked.”
“I won’t accept this! I won’t accept this!”
“How could you lose even after doping? I heard there are even True Mages who rely on drugs.”
“Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!”
He pulled his hair and screamed in frustration.
But he wasn’t the only one screaming.
The students who bet on him were also wailing in despair.
“They say there’s a life reset button at the bottom of the Han River, first three people to come with me get a spot! First come, first served!!!!!!”
“Everyone, money is something you can always earn back. Don’t dwell on it too much.”
“Are you an underdog bettor?”
“You got me, damn it.”
“You bastards!!! I failed the exam, and now I’m broke!!!!”
“Idiots, don’t you know about detachment? I’m already there, you bastards!”
It’s so sweet.
So sweet.
Their cries are music to my ears.
I love it.
But there were also different cries.
“Kyouko! What kind of building should we buy with this money!!”
“Hye-ji-chan! Let’s go to Mars wwwww”
“All we need is to set the wedding date! All we need is to set the wedding date! All we need is to set the wedding date!”
They looked ecstatic.
Seeing their happiness made me smile too.
As I walked towards them, Lucian suddenly charged at me, screaming,
“I won’t acknowledge this defeat, you inferior being!!!!!!!”
“You’re a noob, damn it.”
“Arghhhhhhh!”
“Everyone shut up!!!!”
He charged at me, ignoring the professor’s warning.
I tried to back away, but it was too late.
He swung the dagger upward, aiming for my face.
The blade’s trajectory was etched in my mind.
Slice!!
“Ouch, that stings!”
I quickly swatted his left hand away, but his momentum carried him forward, pushing me backward.
I was about to fall.
Desperately searching for something to grab onto, my right hand instinctively clutched something.
It was Lucian’s long, flowing blond hair.
Before I could even process what I was holding, a shockwave slammed into me.
The spirit had regained consciousness and reacted instinctively.
Although I’m not sure that was the right call.
Rip!!!
I was sent flying from the unexpected attack.
I rolled on the ground before slowly getting to my feet.
A sudden silence fell upon the training grounds.
It was strange.
Why was everyone so quiet?
I looked down at my right hand.
“…Huh?”
Thanks to my enhanced strength, I was still gripping Lucian’s head.
And because I was wearing steel gauntlets, I wouldn’t let go unless something drastic happened.
And something drastic did happen.
The spirit, now conscious, forcefully pushed me away.
The result?
Most of Lucian’s beautiful blonde hair was in my right hand.
I hadn’t anticipated this at all.
My eyes widened in shock as I looked at the hair in my hand, then I slowly turned my gaze to Lucian.
His head was completely bald, except for a few strands on the sides.
He stared blankly at his former hair in my hand, speechless.
“…”
“…”
“…”
“Sorry.”
Lucian was on the verge of a breakdown.
And Kyouko delivered the final blow.
She pointed at his head and burst out laughing.
“This guy www his head is so shiny wwwwwwwwwwww”
“Arghhhhhhhh!!!!”
Her laughter echoed through the training grounds.
Followed by Lucian’s scream. And then he fainted.
It was a rather tragic ending for an enemy.
‘…I’m really sorry.’
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Kyouko’s ability must be emotional damage damn
Hatchet lord referrence peak