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Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous – Chapter 11

.。.:✧ vs. Jung Ah-yeon (with Authentic Support) ✧:.。.

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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Kim Hye-ji stared at the slime she had just launched into the air.

Despite putting all her strength into the attack, it seemed to have no effect. It was demoralizing.

‘This matchup is too disadvantageous.’

Bullets were ineffective against the slime’s massive, amorphous body.

They simply embedded themselves in its flesh without causing any real damage.

Sharp blades would just melt upon contact.

And the hammer she used to strike it was corroding where it made contact.

Her current methods weren’t working.

Even after experiencing countless futures through regression, she couldn’t find a way to effectively counter it.

‘Damn it. Why did I go all-in? At this rate, I’ll have to call my family for help.’

She tightened her grip on the hammer, her hands trembling.

She adjusted her stance, stretching her arms back, and assessed the situation.

‘I can only materialize five more objects.’

She couldn’t afford to waste them.

And she wasn’t sure what to materialize.

So, she decided to experience the future and regress again.

To find a new hope.

This time, she would glimpse three minutes into the future.

But even in that future, she failed to secure victory, and her consciousness returned to the present.

‘Damn it, why can’t I find an opening?’

The future she had just witnessed wasn’t very hopeful.

In that future, the slime opened its mouth wide and swallowed the hammer as she swung it, then proceeded to devour Hye-ji whole.

But even if the future was bleak, she had to win.

So she started devising a new plan.

‘It’s amorphous, so it must have water-like properties. That means it should react to alkali metals.’

She pushed aside the thought, “Maybe…”

This was the time to try anything, no matter how desperate.

She came up with a simple plan:

When she swung the hammer, and the slime opened its mouth to swallow it, she would materialize a large chunk of lithium right at the point of contact and trigger a reaction.

To affect the massive slime, the lithium chunk would also have to be as large as possible.

Under normal circumstances, knowing the limitations of her ability, she wouldn’t even consider this option.

But desperation clouded her judgment.

After solidifying her plan, Hye-ji focused on the incoming slime.

Then, she thought of the one responsible for this situation.

Kim Shinwoo.

The bastard who dared to use her as a tool.

‘That son of a bitch. The more I think about it, the more pissed I get.’

A sudden surge of energy coursed through her tired body.

The desire to crush him temporarily erased her fatigue.

It might be temporary, but right now, she needed nothing more.

The slime was rapidly approaching.

Hye-ji planted her left foot firmly on the ground, twisted her waist, and swung the hammer diagonally towards the slime.

The slime split open, revealing a gaping maw, as it attempted to devour the hammer.

This was fine. So far, it was identical to the future she had seen before regressing.

Now was the time to make a change.

Before the hammer was swallowed, she materialized the largest possible lithium chunk at the tip of the hammer.

She didn’t slow down the swing; instead, she added more force.

‘This should be enough, right?’

This was a slight deviation from the previous future.

The lithium reacted violently within the slime.

The slime writhed in pain, its body convulsing as it emitted smoke.

‘I won!’

Just in case, she took three steps back and glimpsed into the future.

But what she saw was different from what she expected.

The slime, having recovered, was about to swallow her whole, its mouth wide open.

‘…What?’

Even after regressing, the situation remained unchanged.

The slime, which was writhing in agony moments ago, was now standing calmly in front of her.

Hye-ji, unable to deny the cruel reality, let out a sigh of defeat.

“It’s… still alive?”

“It was a good attempt. However, since it’s based on qi, the reaction wouldn’t be significant.”

“What the hell is qi? It’s mana!”

“Since this one uses it, it’s called qi.”

Jung Ah-yeon, still with her eyes closed, smirked slightly at Hye-ji.

“If you don’t like that term, then try to defeat this one.”

“Damn it.”

She wasn’t going down without a fight.

This time, she materialized an RPG.

She used two materializations to create the warhead and the launcher separately.

She immediately fired it at the slime, but it nimbly created a hole in its body, allowing the rocket to pass through harmlessly.

The rocket exploded behind the slime, achieving nothing.

“Ha… It didn’t even flinch.”

“You know it yourself. The matchup is terrible.”

“Damn it.”

“Don’t despair. This one is your opponent.”

Looking back, she realized she had been naive.

The slime had taken all her attacks so far, so she subconsciously assumed it would also withstand powerful attacks like this one.

Suddenly, exhaustion and despair washed over her.

It felt like everyone was saying, “You’ve lost.”

She slumped to the ground, watching blankly as the slime approached.

‘Ha… damn it. Really.’

Finally, the slime reached its target, Kim Hye-ji, and opened its mouth wide.

As if to swallow her whole, leaving nothing behind.

Hye-ji felt tears welling up at the thought of losing so helplessly.

Jung Ah-yeon, confident in her victory, smiled widely.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be over quickly-”

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!

“Argh!!!”

Her words were cut short by a loud crash.

The slime, startled by Jung Ah-yeon’s sudden outburst, stopped and backed away.

At the same time, the red numbers above Hye-ji’s and Jung Ah-yeon’s heads increased by one.

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As I watched the slime approach Hye-ji, I thought:

Of course, I was lying down, the best position for spectating.

‘So it only detects ability users, huh?’

Mana is generated within the body when an ability awakens.

Professor Pil-yong’s research team must have created the Ability Reader to detect this mana.

And since I had no mana, the reader identified me as a non-ability user.

I replayed the fight in my mind.

At first, there were so many summons that it seemed like they were attacking both of us.

But the slime was currently targeting only Hye-ji, who was harder to catch, instead of me, the easy target.

This meant that Jung Ah-yeon couldn’t pinpoint my location after closing her eyes.

Of course, she’d notice me if I made any noise.

She might be an eyeless Lee Sin, but she wasn’t deaf.

Using the commotion caused by Hye-ji’s clashes with the slime as cover, I moved slowly, concealing my footsteps.

Fortunately, Hye-ji was still struggling, trying to predict the future through regression.

‘Don’t break, tool! You can’t break!’

Thanks to my stealthy movements, I managed to reach a position behind Jung Ah-yeon just as Hye-ji collapsed.

She was still chattering away, oblivious to what was about to happen.

You’re dead.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. I couldn’t afford to make any mistakes in this situation.

I carefully retrieved the item I brought with me from inside my clothes.

‘Ah… this cool, heavy feeling.’

As Jung Ah-yeon spoke, I gripped the item with both hands and swung it down with all my might.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be over quickly-”

“Shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!!”

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!

“Argh!!!!!”

Jung Ah-yeon screamed as the slime, about to swallow Hye-ji, flinched and backed away.

The red number above Jung Ah-yeon’s head increased by one.

Hye-ji, sensing the sudden change, looked at me with a blank expression.

Then, her eyes lit up, and she started pointing at me.

The red number above her head also increased.

“Huh? Huh? Hey, when did you get there? And how?”

“That old fart finally shut up.”

“But what is that huge, thick thing?”

Ah.

You recognize my mighty…

Dragon Slayer (book).

Seeing Jung Ah-yeon clutching her head and groaning in pain filled me with joy.

She wasn’t the one who hit me, but as they say, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

“I almost died from this thing too, you bastard.”

“Ugh…”

“A sister’s fault is the sister’s fault!”

I raised the book high above my head again.

A sinister smile spread across my face.

“You’re not dead yet, are you?”

“N…No.”

“No, Ah-yeon!!!”

“Yes!!!!”

I slammed the book down on her head with all my pent-up anger.

One hit for every exclamation mark, you bitch.

“I was the one who got beaten up first, damn it! So why the hell are you the one complaining!!!!!”

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!!!!!

“Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!”

Finally, Jung Ah-yeon foamed at the mouth and collapsed.

The book I used to smash her head remained intact.

Yes.

This wasn’t just a Dragon Slayer.

It was a sacred relic.

I turned away from Jung Ah-yeon and walked towards Hye-ji, shouting excitedly,

“Hye-ji, it’s over! Let’s collect our winnings!”

“Yeah! Money! Money!”

“Where… are you going?”

“Huh?”

I turned around, and Jung Ah-yeon, who I thought was unconscious, was staring at me with venomous eyes.

She was lying on the ground, but her gaze was fixed on me, filled with murderous intent.

“This one… will definitely… kill you…”

She closed her eyes and placed her hands on the ground, channeling white mana into the earth, just like before.

Suddenly, the slime that had threatened Hye-ji earlier appeared before me.

Of course, it didn’t look very healthy.

It was smaller, and its movements were jerky.

“Did you think you could defile this one’s body by winning so desperately?”

“We don’t care about your body, we’re just here for the money, you bitch!”

“You won’t get away with this!!!!”

As soon as she finished speaking, the slime started glowing.

At first, it was dimmer than a light bulb, but it quickly intensified until it was blindingly bright.

“Flashbang, you bastard!”

“This one will blow you to bits!!”

「Jung Ah-yeon, the duel is over! Stop this immediately!」

“I don’t care!!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!!”

We were in a critical situation, moments away from being blown up by her flashbang.

At that moment, a small figure darted in front of me.

It was Hye-ji.

She materialized a thick, triple-layered shield, charged forward, and slammed the shield into the ground.

She braced herself, using her small body to support the shield, and took the full force of the explosion head-on.

My vision was flooded with white light, accompanied by a deafening roar.

“Die!!!”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

A massive explosion erupted, but Hye-ji, standing before me, didn’t budge an inch.

As the explosion subsided, the colors of the world slowly returned.

The triple-layered shield that had valiantly protected me started to crack and then shattered into pieces.

Hye-ji, who had endured the full force of the blast, looked at me, gasping for breath.

“I… raised the shield…”

“I know.”

And then she collapsed, losing consciousness.

I gently caught her and laid her down on the ground.

“Ah, Hye-ji. You’re not a utility support anymore.”

I took a step towards the unfinished battle.

I tightened my grip on the book in my hand and said,

“You’re an authentic support.”

Jung Ah-yeon stared at me, her eyes wide with disbelief.

As she saw me approaching, filled with murderous intent, a look of fear appeared on her face for the first time.

She struggled to move her legs, trying to get away from me.

“Don’t come any closer… Don’t come near me!!!”

But I continued to advance, ignoring her pleas.

Finally, I reached her, raised the book high, and shouted,

“Take this! Three Talents Sword Technique!!!”

“At least attack me with a sword!!!”

BAM!

Jung Ah-yeon collapsed.

Perhaps weakened by the previous explosion, the book, which had accompanied me through this final battle, finally disintegrated with a soft crackle.

Paper scraps fluttered through the air, painting the sky.

They landed on the stunned gamblers, their faces etched with despair.

The scraps resembled torn betting slips, scattered and useless.

Gold Ship, are you watching?

I crushed all the favorites, just like you.

I approached the crowd of still-wailing students and started collecting my winnings.

I confirmed that my share, along with Hye-ji’s earnings from her underdog bet, had been deposited into our respective accounts.

It was an incredible amount.

After collecting my due, I gently lifted Hye-ji’s unconscious body from the training ground floor.

Before taking her to the infirmary, I turned towards the students, who were still struggling to comprehend reality, and said something from one of my favorite novels.

“Favorites. Back to your senses yet?”

Their wails intensified, but it only made me smile wider.

I arrived at the infirmary, beaming.

“Sister Ye-rim, express delivery!”

“Oh! You’re here! Great, just lay her down here.”

…Why is she so casual about this?

Is this the composure that comes with age?

“Do you want to die?”

“Yes ma’am…”

This bitch was quick-witted.

I quickly averted my gaze from Sister Ye-rim’s murderous glare.

To lighten the mood, I hurriedly changed the subject.

“You seem to get a lot of patients. You’re very cheerful about it.”

“No, I was watching your duel.”

????

I didn’t stream it.

Seeing my confused expression, Sister Ye-rim explained further.

“If a duel is big enough to have bets placed on it, it’s broadcasted on the academy channel, and people can bet on it.”

“But why are you so happy?”

“I bet three months’ worth of my salary on you. That’s why I’m so happy right now.”

Is she crazy?

“Are you insane? Why would you bet on me?”

“You were taught by my fiancé, so of course I knew you’d win!”

“Didn’t you start talking just two weeks ago?”

“Who knew he’d be so charming~. I’m already looking at wedding venues~.”

“This is insane.”

I gently laid Hye-ji down and carefully wiped the dust off her hands, neck, and face with a tissue.

Her face was undeniably cute.

But when she opened her mouth, it was a different story.

“I’m glad things are working out between you and Old man Kang-hyuk.”

Suddenly, Sister Ye-rim’s cheerful expression froze.

She leaned closer, her face serious, and asked,

“…What’s his name?”

“You didn’t even exchange names? You’ve been talking for two weeks!”

“Well… We just clicked so well.”

She scratched her head awkwardly.

“Anyway, his name is Ryu Kang-hyuk.”

“…Really?”

Her expression transformed instantly.

It was as if she had just met her idol.

“Oh my God! I was talking to Master Kang-hyuk all this time?”

“Master… Kang-hyuk?”

“Shinwoo, thank you so much. You made my dream come true.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she grabbed my hand and shook it excitedly.

I was completely dumbfounded, unable to comprehend the situation.

“Why are you acting like this? Calm down and explain.”

“You really don’t know who he is?”

“He’s the old man who steals side dishes from our house.”

Her eyes turned back into that familiar “looking at an idiot” expression.

Then, she regained her serious composure and said,

“That’s because you don’t know who he is.”

“He said he was somewhat famous in the past.”

Sister Ye-rim scoffed.

“Somewhat? Somewhat? He wasn’t just somewhat famous, he was an idol!!!”

“What the hell are you talking about? Stop making a fuss like those old farts who keep recommending trot music!”

But what she said next was so unbelievable that I thought I had misheard.

“He’s the first and youngest Master Class Hunter.”

“What?…”

“Ryu Kang-hyuk. The first Hunter to surpass Diamond rank and reach Master Class.”

I couldn’t believe it.

But Sister Ye-rim continued, oblivious to my shock,

“Even the other Master Class Hunters who emerged later aren’t as young as him.”

“…Holy shit.”

What is this, a light novel?

My next-door old man turned out to be the strongest Hunter?

Ah, it is a light novel after all.

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Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous

Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous

Score 9.7
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2021 Native Language: Korean
Hey, all of us who CAN'T regress, how about we hit that like button? I'll go first!

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Anonymous
Anonymous
2 months ago

what the fuck LOL

Homieyoshi
HomieYoshi
1 month ago

The old master has won at life

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