Being a Viking Isn’t Fun – Chapter 15

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Shio
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My impression of Rendlesham was…that it was Dover, but slightly larger.

Wooden houses dotted the landscape, and the characteristic smell of farmland fertilizer mixed with the sounds of livestock filled the air.

Into this peaceful scene came the Norsemen, their bodies covered in dirt and dust, huddled together as they entered the village.

The people of Rendlesham watched us closely. Among them, the elderly and vigorous men showed wariness (surprisingly, some women even flirted), while the children gazed at these large, slightly different-speaking strangers with curiosity.

As we observed them and they observed us, a large building that didn’t fit with this rural village came into view before Ivarr and I.

“Whew—You said it was a village with nothing, but isn’t this excessive modesty, Sigebryht?”

Ivarr, who had been walking at the front, chatting about trivial matters like the weather and wives with Sigebryht, reacted first. Following him, I and the guards who had been watching our surroundings could also see the large hall situated on a square plot of land.

Like our longhouses, the curved roof that resembled an upturned boat was impressive.

Seeing this, I realized there were certainly many cultural similarities.

“Unfortunately, it’s just a relic of the distant past.”

Sigebryht, maintaining a calm expression amidst the excited Norsemen at the sight of the large building, spoke as he guided the party that had momentarily stopped inside again.

“This is the royal palace where the cyning of the old Wuffinga family resided. Now it has fallen to being Edmund’s occasional villa. It’s said that it once easily accommodated 100 people, but now we don’t have the capacity to entertain so many people at once…”

Well, there probably wouldn’t be a building that could accommodate our entire vanguard at once.

Inevitably, Ivarr and I roughly selected about twenty guards to enter with us, and the rest of the men were to wait in the large open space next to the king’s palace, as long as they didn’t cause trouble. Fortunately, they were to receive food while waiting.

I hoped they wouldn’t cause trouble, but I didn’t expect these vigorous and adventurous Norsemen to stay still. They’d probably buy something with the silver coins they had hoarded, or conversely, sell something for silver coins. I just hoped they didn’t cause any major incidents.

“Then, shall we go in?”

“Let’s! The smell of meat is overwhelming even out here!”

As we crossed the heavy wooden door, a wide space that seemed to pay little attention to lighting greeted us. The torches and oil lamps hanging on the walls here and there gave a serene feeling despite it being the middle of the day with the sun high in the sky.

Where the throne would have originally been on the high platform, only a single flower was placed, and the decorative cloth hanging from the ceiling above the long table had no patterns embroidered on it.

‘I guess they’ve cleared away all the crosses somewhere?’

The flower in a place where a cross would obviously have been, and the decorative cloths that seemed very new, indicated that Sigebryht had cleared everything away now that the owner had changed.

Following Sigebryht’s guidance, we took our seats with Ivarr at the head of the table, and food brought by the palace’s servants was placed before us.

‘Are they really servants? Or slaves?’

The pig roasted over a large fire exuded a fragrant aroma that needed no additional spices. Our stomachs, having eaten little since morning, made rumbling noises. As fermented grain drinks were brought out, we each picked up our favorite parts and began to chew.

‘Mmm.’

The meat that melted in my mouth was truly delicious. While hunger was the best sauce, it couldn’t compare to the excellent taste of the well-roasted meat. This pig must have lived happily.

Glancing up to look around, I saw that everyone was ignoring the bread and salt formally placed next to the meat, focusing all their attention on the golden-brown meat.

‘Come to think of it, I should introduce utensils like forks and knives someday.’

I had already made people use expensive silver utensils in my house in Aros, but it was taking longer than expected to spread that culture.

The reason for systematically using utensils was clear. It was much cleaner and reduced the chance of getting sick. Once you got used to it, it was much more convenient, and above all, it looked better… I wished everyone would use them.

Still, starting with my brothers, more and more people were finding the various objects I had created interesting and using them, so I had to hope that things would gradually change.

The meal continued with eating and drinking. There were no women casting subtle glances, no righteous warriors filled with hostility, no messengers bursting through the door with unimaginable news. There was only the food and the people eating it.

At the same time, however, this was the most important ritual for the people of Rendlesham. The ritual of bread and salt meant not only that the host would not harm the guests but also the reverse.

“Slurp- Slurp-”

Munch- Munch-

Among the warriors who were even sucking up the grease left on their fingers, Sigebryht, who had finished eating before Ivarr and me and was leaning towards us, shared a lot of information.

Expectations that Wessex would react in some way soon, the likely location of Edmund, and the story that East Anglia, originally divided into north and south, would now be divided into west and east, and so on.

Observing quietly, this calm-looking Angle was full of ambition.

‘That’s good for us.’

Whatever he wants, if it helps our purpose, this is not the time to be picky.

In enemy territory, you should use whatever help you can get. Thinking of the forces of Bjorn, Halfdan, Sigurd, and Ubba that would soon pour in, this place, East Anglia, was a much more strategic stronghold than Dover, the small village below.

Ivarr seemed to have realized this too, as his eyes were full of other thoughts while he listened attentively to Sigebryht and enthusiastically agreed. Of course, my mind was the same.

‘If he’s alive, we need to either negotiate with Edmund or eliminate him.’

On our way to Northumbria, the Kent area, where Dover was located, was no longer very important. There was no need to further provoke the quiet Wessex. However, East Anglia must remain a strong rear, we had to secure it.

Soon, Edmund would have to make a choice: to die or to live.

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Rendlesham adapted to the presence of us Norsemen faster than expected, and the women of Rendlesham were surprisingly bold. I thought I was quite perceptive, but I never expected so many of my comrades to slip under the skirts of Rendlesham women without my knowledge!

‘It looks more like they’ve been devoured.’

This wasn’t some exaggerated self-awareness or national pride. The Anglian women, who seemed to favor our warriors for their cleanliness and grooming, approached actively.

‘Just look at that sight now…’

Especially Storolf, the super rookie of my direct unit from Aros, the Garm Brotherhood, with his blonde hair, blue eyes, and sturdy build, seemed to attract the attention of many women. Watching him shyly accept a white flower and discreetly hold hands, I felt a surge of irritation rising inside me.

‘Why am I…?’

No, putting dignity aside, weren’t there things that a man secretly expected?

Was there not a single decent maiden? Why was no one approaching me? I was taller and bigger than Storolf, and I was much better at fighting.

“Don’t be too disheartened, Jarl Helgi.”

In the middle of my childishly regressive thoughts, Hrolf’s voice, which seemed to have seen right through my base inner thoughts, startled me like a puppy stung by a bee, but I pretended not to be affected.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hrolf.”

“I mean the women. In fact, I and the brothers from Aros are used to seeing you all the time, but you have a dignity that’s hard for ordinary people to approach. That’s probably why it’s difficult for them to approach easily.”

As someone who had watched me grow up since infancy, almost like a father, it was difficult to hide anything from him.

“…You’re talking nonsense. I’m not disheartened by such trivial matters.”

“Of course not. Consider it an old man’s useless meddling.”

Looking at Hrolf, who smiled slightly, I noticed new wrinkles on his face that I hadn’t seen before.

“How many times have people been sent to you from the Thing? They say there are so many families wanting marriage with you that it’s giving them headaches.”

“Since when did the Thing start discussing my marriage? Do they have nothing else to do?”

“There’s not much else to discuss besides that. Since Asta settled in, there haven’t been any major problems. Someone’s goat trampled my field, a lost bear came down from the mountain…Sometimes I feel like only Aros is detached from this chaotic world. Like the world of the gods you’d only hear about in stories from grandmothers when we were young.”

“Hrolf’s grandmother. That sounds like a very old story.”

“Hahaha! Everyone has a mother and a grandmother. Yes, it’s a very old story indeed.”

This graying warrior had fought most valiantly by my side in the battle against Edmund. But as we conversed now, I thought that I would prefer this cunning and fox-like vassal to no longer go into battle.

“The Thing in Aros is essentially your subordinates, so you can ignore them forever, but Asta is losing patience.”

‘Damn it.’

“That issue, I’ll have to listen to Mother when we return.”

If Mother told me to marry, I would have to do it. But it was too early to consider love and romance. Still, I could probably make her postpone it if I used my charm well.

“And, I’ve kindly advised some of the troublemakers. Having rolled roughly in the east, they seem unable to control their vigor. I thought you should know, so I’m telling you.”

Hrolf’s expression, which had been laughing good-naturedly, suddenly became serious.

Warriors who have tasted blood, especially the veterans who had rolled with Ivarr far in the east among the Slavic friends, were extremely bellicose and cruel. In other words, their handling of those who bowed their heads was very rough.

Because that was how they’ve lived, it was natural for them to sell the defeated as slaves and forcibly take women.

But my will to stop such actions was equally natural. If we sell out and kill those who have cooperated with us voluntarily, who in this land would welcome us? It wouldn’t help us avenge Father.

“It can’t be helped. Still, it’s fortunate we knew about it before it became a big problem.”

The phrase “kindly advised” probably meant they had a man-to-man talk. They might get knocked out in one blow by me, but Hrolf, who was directly appointed by my father as the protector of my mother and me, was not some soft warrior commonly found on the streets.

“They all became polite the moment your name was mentioned. I’ll have to use that often from now on.”

“…”

‘So he used my name… I thought he had taken care of it personally…’

“…Use it whenever you need to.”

“It’s an honor.”

Storolf, who had disappeared somewhere holding the hand of a woman who seemed not shy but pretending to be shy, reappeared with a bright red face and flaring nostrils.

‘Well, well.’

Storolf waved his hand with a stupid expression at the woman who was moving away with a big smile. Anglian and Norse men gathered together in the distance, pointing and giggling at the scene.

‘They’re unifying unintentionally.’

“It seems we need to increase the training of our Garm Brotherhood. Reflecting on the last battle, I feel I stood out too much alone, and I’d like the rear to support me more firmly. What do you think, Hrolf?”

“You’re right, Jarl Helgi. Especially that son of Orm, Storolf, is a warrior with an excellent future, so he needs tempering.”

“I always say, sweat shed in training reduces blood shed in battle.”

“We’ll make them shed blood in training.”

“Kuk kuk—”

“Keul keul keul—”

What ruined our leisurely moment of sharing evil thoughts and smiling was a messenger who appeared riding a horse from who knows where.

The messenger, who arrived with a guide apparently assigned by Guthrum, announced the arrival of my brother, Sigurd.

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Chapter 15! Uh, I just wanted to exclaim that.

…Anyways, thank you SO much for reading! I honestly can’t blame the women for not approaching Helgi. Who’d want to approach a literal grizzly bear with romantic intentions? A psychopath, that’s who.

Y’all know the drill, if you find any grammar errors, hit up Oihs in the Arcane Translations discord.