A War Hero With No Regrets – Chapter 43

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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“Wh-what are you suddenly saying?”

Arwen felt like her head was turning cold.

“What were you thinking to do such a thing? No matter what, no matter what, that’s just…”

The tears that fell from Lea’s eyes dropped and wet the table.

“Why…? What’s going on, Lea? Did I do something wrong?”

Lea Gilliard clenched her fists at Arwen’s reaction as if she didn’t understand what was going on.

Should she tell her now?

But it wasn’t just Arwen Orka.

Even Drake Brown right next to her was a comrade who had fought by Luthers’ side every regression.

What about Heinz and the others?

When she told them the truth, when they headed to the Graveyard and came into contact with Akasha.

It was obvious how they would react.

They would probably suffer like her.

Arwen Orka, who had buried her lover in a pit with her own hands… might really commit suicide.

They were two people who couldn’t live without each other.

Even though they were so twisted now due to the absence of memories, the moment those memories were revived, it was clear that Arwen would jump off the top of the Graveyard without hesitation.

It shouldn’t be like that.

If it was the Luthers Edan that Lea knew, he would deeply grieve her death.

Perhaps he might even blame himself and take his own life again.

Because she didn’t recover her memories.

If that happened, how would Luthers act in the next cycle?

Perhaps.

Lea might lose her memories of him forever.

Maybe Luthers would realize at that point that there was something between Akasha and himself.

If the next cycle started like that, he would be hated by everyone just like this time, erase all records of memories, and disappear.

‘No.’

Just imagining that sight was enough to feel unbearable pain from her torn heart.

‘No no no no no no, no, absolutely not. I’m scared I’m scared I’m scared, no no!!’

It was frightening.

Really frightening that it might actually happen.

That all the memories of walking with him might disappear into the past that could no longer be remembered.

That even the last knot connecting her to Luthers Edan might be severed.

She had to stop it.

Lea steeled her heart.

“…Ah.”

“Lea!”

When she abruptly stood up from her seat, Arwen, who was very flustered, reached out her hand.

“Wh-what’s going on… I’m sorry, I was wrong. Right? Anyway, he was still your commander… He must have been a precious person to you, I’m sorry for saying things thoughtlessly.”

No.

He wasn’t just a precious person.

He was someone I could give my everything to.

He was someone I could devote my life to.

It was the same for you, unni.

You could also die for him.

You stayed by Luthers’ side more diligently than anyone else.

You’re the one who reassured that man, even when your arm was cut off, even when your eyes were gouged out, saying you were okay.

Words that couldn’t be uttered in time began to sting in her chest.

But she couldn’t say it.

Even if she said it, they wouldn’t understand, and if Arwen accidentally found out about the past because of her words, it would become irreversible.

It was enough for herself to suffer.

It wasn’t that she hated Arwen.

Rather, she liked her more than anyone else and followed her like an older sister.

That’s why she couldn’t say it even more.

Afraid of what kind of expression Luthers would make when he saw her crumbling.

Afraid that he might show anger towards Lea herself.

And… it felt like she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself for completely ruining Luthers’ plan, who had left while thinking of them.

“…It’s not like that.”

Lea looked at Arwen with a sad expression, then quickly left the restaurant.

The atmosphere that had been friendly until a little while ago froze in an instant.

Arwen, unable to say anything, blankly stared in the direction Lea had disappeared.

***

It should have been a fulfilling day.

It definitely should have been.

Wasn’t it the first time meeting delightful people in months?

Arwen, who had been so excited that she couldn’t even sleep the night before at the thought of reuniting with old friends and comrades who had gone through life and death together.

But everything was ruined.

“Haah….”

Arwen entered her quarters, staggering, and buried her face in her bed.

Was it because she brought up Luthers Edan?

In fact, there was no other answer.

It was from that moment that Lea’s mood had completely changed.

“…”

In fact, it wasn’t that she had hated Luthers Edan from the beginning.

Rather, she had respected him and, embarrassingly, had even had feelings for him at one point.

That was natural, as he was the one who had been promoted to a field-grade officer within less than 2 years of being commissioned, not to mention making the Graveyard an invincible fortress.

It was impossible unless one was a genius.

And for Arwen, who was just a hardworking all-rounder, Luthers Edan was a majestic mountain range and a teacher she had to follow.

Of course, contrary to her imagination, the Luthers she first met was a very blunt man.

He didn’t easily give his heart to others and clashed with Drake Brown, his classmate who was said to have been close with him at one point.

After a brief moment of surprise at that appearance that was completely different from the image she had expected.

Her evaluation of Luthers Edan quickly plummeted.

-Sacrificing the 2nd Company.

-What do you mean by that? Why are you deploying troops here? What about the 2nd Company!!

-They will endure. Definitely.

It was a baseless argument.

In the end, the 2nd Company, which had been driven to the point of death, was able to survive after desperately fighting, but twenty-five members were seriously injured and sent to the rear.

Those who had a few fingers cut off were the lucky ones.

There were also those who lost their legs, and others who had their hearing or vision impaired and had to live with disabilities for the rest of their lives.

-What is this!? We could have saved them. We could have sent them all back safely!!!

-Don’t be swayed by personal feelings. In reality, how did it turn out, didn’t it go as I said? If we hadn’t isolated the 2nd Company and used all available troops as rescue forces, they would have been surrounded and annihilated.

The claim that there would be a large-scale ambush by Titans in an abandoned urban area dozens of kilometers away from the main front line.

The fortress intelligence department strongly opposed, saying there was no way, but Luthers Edan carried out the operation, even committing acts close to disobeying orders.

This was the result.

Forty-two casualties.

Of course, there was actually an ambush.

However, most of them were fluid-type Titans that weren’t much of a threat if discovered early on, and the numbers weren’t that high either.

There was no reason to put the entire 2nd Company in danger just to divert reinforcements.

And Luthers Edan continued to carry out such operations.

Sometimes, as the commander, he would suddenly leave his post and reappear when every single person was important.

At that time, Arwen took over the command and sustained the front lines.

Luthers demonstrated a command style that was almost like gambling, deploying troops in places that were completely unexpected and piercing the enemy’s weaknesses.

On the other hand, Arwen possessed a command style that was literally textbook-like and orthodox.

Luthers’ method might work in irregular attacks, but in general situations, Arwen’s command style was much more efficient.

As a result, the achievements of Luthers and Arwen’s units grew day by day, but the gap between the commander and the staff officers didn’t narrow easily.

Later on, it reached the point where the soldiers followed Arwen more than Luthers.

It was no wonder he was called a reclusive loner.

Still, Arwen tried in her own way.

She also calmed the soldiers who were badmouthing Luthers.

After all, wasn’t it mockery of a superior?

It was an action that could be strictly punished under military law.

When superiors were angry at Luthers’ high-handed actions, Arwen would step forward and bow her head instead.

Arwen was a person who knew how to separate public and private matters.

Even if she disliked him, Luthers was her direct superior and a man she had a duty to assist.

If he couldn’t properly carry out his duties, it was natural for her, as his adjutant, to do it.

And when he sometimes— really, very rarely showed signs of struggling, she secretly took care of him.

-…Don’t do this kind of thing next time.

-I don’t want to do it for you either? But how can you be like that again? Even if you’re a superior who can’t go a day without picking a fight, you’re still my superior.

-Thank you.

-What did you say? What did you just say, again! I didn’t hear it!

-Always… thank you, Arwen….

She still couldn’t forget that memory.

The Luthers Edan she knew couldn’t be said to be a completely bad person.

What kind of bad person could set their ultimate goal as complete victory against the Titans and the salvation of humanity?

Then when did it start to go wrong?

Perhaps… there might have been a chance to understand him.

Of course, that was when she still lacked experience and hadn’t fully experienced the atrocities of the battlefield.

If she hadn’t been swayed by personal feelings, as he said, and had seen the situation on the battlefield from Luthers’ perspective, could she have understood him a little?

Arwen Orka didn’t know.

“Lea….”

She recalled the face of her junior, who had glared at her with eyes she had never seen before.

Then did Lea understand that man differently from herself?

That was also unknown.

All she could do now was simply pull herself together from her turbulent feelings.

In the end, the conversation that took place tonight could only be resolved tomorrow morning at the earliest.

She buried her face in the pillow again.

“I need to… remove my makeup….”

Her body felt heavy.

***

Lea Gilliard, who had run out of the pub in a fit of anger, was walking aimlessly through the night streets of the capital.

At first, she had come out as if running away because she felt suffocated and couldn’t stand it.

But when she actually faced the cold wind, her thoughts and emotions began to settle down.

She had said things she shouldn’t have.

She was the only one who had regained her memories, but she had said harsh words to Arwen under the influence of alcohol, which she had drunk for the first time in a long time.

‘…Why did you do that, Lea?’

Lea hit her chest, blaming herself.

She was born with a soft and gentle personality.

The look in Arwen’s eyes right before she ran out kept flashing before her eyes.

“I’ll have to… apologize tomorrow….”

Today’s incident could be resolved as much as possible.

Given the situation, if she explained well, it wouldn’t be a big problem and could be passed over.

It was then.

“Gasp, huff… Lea! You were here…!!”

Something huge jumped out of the alley, panting roughly.

Swoosh!

Before she could even grasp the situation, Lea’s legs moved first.

Imperial Army hand-to-hand combat.

It was a combat technique she had learned from Luthers Edan after almost being kidnapped by a gang, although she didn’t remember which cycle it was.

“Ugh!?”

“D-Drake!?”

A kick that narrowly missed his face.

If Lea, who belatedly recognized her opponent, hadn’t changed the angle, it would have accurately hit his chin.

The victim, who almost suffered an assault in the middle of the night, could only admire the agile movement.

“Wow, that’s crazy! When did you learn this? It’s the Imperial Army’s hand-to-hand combat!”

“Ah… well, I learned a bit in the Eastern Military District….”

“Your posture is perfect, but your breathing is slightly lacking. As expected of the Eastern Military District. Come learn from me again later.”

Drake Brown said, brushing off his shoulder where the foot had grazed.

“S-so you came looking for me?”

“Of course! How could I not look for you after you ran out like that? I was worried and searched for you.”

As if not even remembering the situation from a little while ago, Drake laughed brightly, and Lea Gilliard felt so embarrassed.

It was because she felt like she was somehow being foolish.

“But what on earth happened? Is it something to do with Commander Luthers Edan?”

“It’s not like that. It’s just….”

Lea took a breath and let it out.

“I feel sorry for him.”

“Hmm… I see. It is unfortunate. Even though he’s a hero, he didn’t receive proper treatment and left the military as if being chased out.”

Drake nodded as if he understood everything.

“So Lea, there’s something I want to tell you.”

“Yes? Something to tell me?”

“I’m telling you this because it seems like you don’t have bad feelings towards Commander Luthers Edan. Don’t tell the others. Okay? It’s a promise.”

Wait.

What does this mean?

Lea Gilliard was dumbfounded.

That subtle atmosphere, that tone as if he was drawing it out.

Could it be—.

Her heart began to beat like crazy.

As if not knowing her mind that was frantically shaking, Drake just continued speaking.

“I saw Luthers Edan at the last summit.”

“What?!”

Drake finally added with a smile, as if feeling a bit relieved, towards Lea, who was asking back with an expression as if she had been hit on the head.

“Now he has laundered his identity and is living. You must have heard of it.”

The moment she heard those last words, Lea Gilliard felt goosebumps all over her body.

“He’s the director of the National Security Strategy Agency.”

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