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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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I had a bad feeling.
It felt like that pointy-eared bastard was going to do something to Hye-ji.
And so, as if possessed, my fist slammed into his face.
The result? A flying elf.
The girls who followed him immediately rushed to his side.
But despite their frantic fussing, he quickly regained consciousness.
I was surprised he got up so quickly.
‘I aimed to knock him out until the end of midterms.’
He kept rubbing his face, as if it really hurt.
Then, he glared at me.
“What was that for, trash?”
“I have this disease that makes me punch assholes. You should understand, pointy-ears.”
“You short-lived species, you really have a death wish!”
The students in the classroom started murmuring.
The classroom was louder than ever.
“That earring is the symbol of a High Elf! I know! He’s Lucianer, the eldest son of the Pond Leaf Tribe!”
“I heard he entered the academy as a first-year Gold-tier.”
“If it’s Lucian, he’s the number one candidate for communing with the World Tree.”
“Speaking of which, the academy is hosting the representative selection for communing with the World Tree this year. Did he come here to campaign?”
“Hey, it’s not election season yet.”
I pieced together the information from their conversations.
Lucianer.
Known as Lucian for short, he was a High Elf, a step above ordinary elves.
And coincidentally, he was also candidate number one for the World Tree Communion representative selection that the academy was hosting.
The murmurs continued.
After all, no Iron-tier student in their right mind would ever dream of punching a High Elf in the face.
“So, did he come to see Hye-ji, like he said earlier?”
“Wait, did this guy just punch a High Elf in the face?”
“Is he testing the limits of what he can get away with?”
“Such dedication to experimentation. He’s research student material.”
“I’ll see you later, last guy.”
Here’s a summary of the information:
Lucian was interested in Hye-ji, who defeated Jung Ah-yeon.
He came here today to make her his wife.
And then, out of nowhere, I intervened and punched him in the face.
“Explain yourself! Why did you attack me, you short-lived scum?!”
Lucian growled at me.
It was understandable. A stranger he had never met before had just punched him in the face.
‘Damn it, it was an impulsive punch.’
But what can I do? My fist has a mind of its own.
Logic wouldn’t work on him.
Time to appeal to his emotions.
“You were giving Hye-ji the creeps with that disgusting gaze of yours.”
“Wha-what absurd nonsense are you spouting!!!”
“Sob sob! Shinwoo, that elf tried to rape me! Waaaaah.”
“See, you elf scum? You’re guilty of attempted rape, so stop doing that and get out of here.”
As expected of Hye-ji.
She understood my intentions immediately and provided the perfect backup.
Ah, I admit it.
You are a true authentic support, Hye-ji.
The gazes of the female students, who were initially fawning over Lucian, turned cold.
He started explaining himself frantically.
He desperately tried to prove that he wasn’t a rapist.
“Master… Rape is wrong.”
“No! I just wanted to make the woman who defeated Jung Ah-yeon my wife!”
“You can’t just rape someone even if you want a new wife!”
“Seriously, how could you? You tried to rape her even with us right here? Do you find it that thrilling?”
“I’m telling you, I just wanted to kiss her!”
“Sure… we believe you.”
His wives offered their half-hearted support.
Hye-ji, hearing their conversation, made a disgusted face.
Then, she shouted angrily,
“Who the hell are you to kiss me! Get the hell out of here, you horny bastards! You’re wasting oxygen!”
The female students were silenced, overwhelmed by her outburst.
Only Lucian remained unfazed. He slowly walked towards Hye-ji again.
“Let me introduce myself formally. I am Lucianer, eldest son of the Pond Leaf Tribe. Kim Hye-ji, I’ve come to take you as my 24th wife.”
He spoke with dignity, yet his tone was still arrogant.
Hye-ji responded by giving him the middle finger.
“If you want to show off your dick, go do it to your harem over there.”
“The more feisty they are, the sweeter the fruit.”
“Are you deaf? Listen to me, you bastard!”
“Don’t worry. I’ve seen plenty of wenches like you.”
He was impossible to reason with.
He just kept saying whatever he wanted.
Hye-ji, frustrated, turned to me for help.
“Shinwoo, this bastard won’t listen! What do we do?”
“I had the same problem when fighting Maegal.”
“This is driving me crazy, damn it.”
At that moment, I had a sudden epiphany.
Hye-ji finally understood my pain.
“Now you understand. We’ve finally become tomodachi.”
“What are you talking about? We are already best tomodachi.”
“You’re out of line, you insignificant worm! How dare you interfere?!”
Lucian, who was trying to hit on Hye-ji, growled at me for interrupting him.
But in my eyes, he was just a long-eared chihuahua.
I pulled Hye-ji closer, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, and faced Lucian.
“You already got your ass kicked and sent flying by a worm, and you’re still acting like a top laner, Lucian? Seriously?”
“How dare you speak my name, you mere mortal! This one is a noble being destined to commune with the World Tree!”
“A ‘candidate’ for communion, you idiot. And if you keep spreading false information, you’ll be violating election laws.”
“Shut up!!!”
I pointed at his earring.
“And that earring, you call it a pond leaf, but it looks more like water hyacinth.”
“Don’t you dare insult our tribal symbol! It’s a lotus!!!”
Bullshit.
That was the biggest bullshit I had ever heard.
“Lotus, my ass. If it was a lotus, it would be pink. It’s clearly water hyacinth.”
“Our tribe focuses on the lotus leaf, not the flower, that’s why our symbol is like this!”
“You probably whined and begged to be a High Elf while cleaning up water hyacinths. It’s so obvious.”
“…Th-that’s not true.”
Lucian stammered, as if he had been caught.
Well, I guess I accidentally exposed the fact that he was a water hyacinth cleaner.
I looked at Hye-ji, whom I had pulled closer earlier, to share this joyous discovery.
She was malfunctioning.
Hye-ji was broken.
Her eyes were rolling back into her head as she nestled in my arms.
Her face was as red as her hair, and she was letting out high-pitched moans.
Hye-ji? Why are you broken?
You haven’t even fought Jung Ah-yeon yet.
Why are you malfunctioning so soon?!
Chiiko! Don’t you recognize me?
I glared at Lucian while holding onto the still-malfunctioning Hye-ji.
Just then, an old cat with a white beard appeared on the windowsill.
Lucian, seeing the old cat, scowled and said,
“Ha! That cat seems to have lived for a little over ten years, yet it’s of a different class compared to a beast like you!”
“Does a cat become human after living ten years? It’s still a cat.”
“Ten years for a cat is equivalent to 56 years for a human. Shouldn’t you show respect for its vast experience?”
“How old are you to be acting so high and mighty?”
Lucian sneered as if he had been waiting for that question.
He pointed at me and shouted,
“Prepare to be amazed! This one is 150 years old, an age you short-lived species can only dream of! Address me with respect!”
“Really?”
It was my turn to attack.
“Bastard, if I’m 20, that makes me about 160 in elf years, right?”
“…What?”
Lucian was speechless.
I continued my assault relentlessly,
“What the hell do you mean ‘What?’ I’m 160 years old in elf years, and you’re not using honorifics? Does a ten-year age gap make us friends to you?”
“Th-that’s not it… but…”
“Then use honorifics whenever you see me. Unless you want to die.”
“Y-yes… sir… I understand.”
“Good. Now get out of here.”
With that, Lucian left, taking his entourage with him.
One hour later.
The classroom door burst open again, and Lucian rushed in.
“You tricked me!!!!!”
“You bastard, weren’t you using human age for a fucking cat? You wanna die?”
“How dare you mock this one!”
He raised his right hand and pointed it towards us.
He muttered something, and a strong gust of wind swept through the classroom.
The students started panicking.
Lucian stared at me and said ominously,
“You fool, you don’t know the true terror of spirits!”
“Hey, is your job something like a Spirit Master?”
“It is! Are you scared now?!”
I wasn’t scared.
Because…
“Isn’t a Spirit Master just another word for ‘jobless bum’?”
“…What?”
Spirit Masters are basically unemployed.
The strong wind died down.
And silence filled the room.
Lucian, still processing my words, looked dumbfounded.
I spoke, taking advantage of his shock,
“Hey elf, you know what people in Korea call themselves when they’re asked about their job, even though they’re unemployed?”
“H-how would I know that!”
“They say ‘freelancer’ or ‘individual investor’ because they’re too embarrassed to admit they’re jobless.”
“What’s your point!”
He retorted angrily.
But I continued calmly,
“Elves must have various jobs too, right? Chefs, government officials, scouts…”
“Th-that’s right.”
His eyes flickered nervously as he agreed.
I guessed I was right about him being unemployed.
“You’re just saying you can use spirits because you’re too embarrassed to admit you’re a jobless bum.”
Lucian was speechless for a moment.
Then, he shouted desperately,
“No! A Spirit Master is not a jobless bum!”
“This NEET talks too much wwwwww.”
It was Kyouko, who was watching from next to Hye-ji.
She had adapted to this crazy academy surprisingly quickly and was now pointing at Lucian and laughing.
Hye-ji, not to be outdone by a visiting student, joined the fray.
“Shinwoo, can you see spirits?”
“I can’t see anything. Are they even real?”
“Maybe they’re only visible to good elves.”
“Spirits exist in this very room!!!”
As if to prove his point, a gust of wind swept through the room.
But it didn’t stop us from talking.
“Anyway, Hye-ji, he says spirits exist.”
“Shouldn’t he be over imaginary friends by now? He’s not eight years old~.”
Lucian trembled with anger and shouted,
“How dare you mock spirits when you can’t even handle them as well as a Spirits Master!!!”
“It’s like a Korean bragging about how well they eat kimchi~.”
“Japanese people also eat sushi well wwwwww.”
But he was met with relentless counterattacks.
Kyouko’s attacks were particularly sharp.
With that kind of damage output, she had the potential to be a Hunter.
“Hye-ji, Spirit Arts is an S-rank skill that controls nature!”
“Are you crazy? You can’t even beat a B-rank Hell Water Serpent, and you’re calling Spirit Arts an S-rank skill? Shameless bastard.”
“Spirit Arts should be ranked alongside Chidori wwwww.”
“I… raised my spirits…”
“Ugh… Please, don’t insult spirits…”
Tears welled up in Lucian’s eyes.
A gentle breeze suddenly blew through the room.
As if the spirit was trying to comfort him.
He wiped his tears and looked at Hye-ji, saying proudly,
“I will make you my wife! I’ll be back!”
“Shut your trap, pointy-eared bastard.”
“Get out, spirit otaku.”
“Go home, you NEET wwwww.”
We continued to sabotage his attempts to hit on Hye-ji, and he pointed at me angrily,
“Is she your woman?!”
“No, she’s not.”
“Then why are you interfering!!!”
“Why?… Well, because it’s fun.”
“Y-you… bastard!!!”
His eyes were bloodshot with anger.
But he must have realized he had no chance of winning with words, because he quickly ran away.
“I’ll kill you both! Kim Hye-ji, prepare to become my wife!!!”
He left after delivering a cheesy villain line.
But at least he was gone.
I had successfully prevented a sleazy bastard from hitting on Hye-ji.
I decided to seek praise from her.
“Hye-ji, I did well, right?”
“…Shut up, you bastard.”
Her reaction was cold.
She just stared at me with lifeless eyes, filled with murderous intent.
“This guy www has zero sense of awarenesswwww.”
After Kyouko’s comment, neither Hye-ji nor I said anything more.
Or rather, we couldn’t say anything.
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fucking talk no jutsu lmao
Kyouko is the best backer