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Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous – Chapter 12

.。.:✧ Someone's Trivial Story ✧:.。.

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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It took a while for Sister Ye-rim to calm down from her intense reaction.

Once she finally regained her composure, she asked me not to tell anyone about Old Man Kang-hyuk.

She explained that he had retired and, being famous, could get caught up in unnecessary trouble.

Her logic seemed sound, so I agreed to keep it a secret.

After about ten minutes, as we sat in the infirmary, I recalled the final moments of the duel.

‘When I first smashed Jung Ah-yeon’s head, her red number went up.’

I assumed she had been smiling because she had won in the future she saw before regressing.

That’s why her red number increased when faced with a completely different outcome.

But when she detonated the explosion, neither of our numbers went up.

Either she couldn’t regress anymore, or she triggered the explosion impulsively.

‘Or maybe both.’

Old Man Kang-hyuk had said he could regress up to 30 minutes into the past, with a one-hour cooldown.

Based on that, I assumed that regressing further into the past made it harder to use it multiple times.

‘Jung Ah-yeon can regress from a farther future than Hye-ji, but she can’t use it as frequently.’

If it weren’t for me, a variable she hadn’t accounted for, her predicted future would have likely come true.

But regardless of the reason, we won, so I decided to let it go.

As I looked at Hye-ji sleeping soundly, a sudden feeling of annoyance washed over me.

Here I was, suffering the consequences of the duel, and she was peacefully asleep.

Time for some payback.

‘Would she kill me if I drew on her face with a marker? She’d only half-kill me, right?’

I was debating between using a permanent marker or a felt-tip pen.

When the infirmary door suddenly opened, and Jung Ah-yeon walked in, her green eyes scanning the room.

‘This bitch is still alive?’

I hit her hard enough to turn her into a vegetable, and it would’ve been self-defense.

It was a shame she seemed perfectly fine.

“This one came to get some medicine.”

“Oh my, you’re the student who dueled with Shinwoo earlier. Park Ah-young, was it?”

“This one’s name is Jung Ah-yeon. Please refrain from using vulgar nicknames.”

“…Does a name that sounds like an aphrodisiac make sense to you?”

“……”

Struck by that accurate jab, Jung Ah-yeon fell silent.

“So, what kind of medicine do you need? You don’t seem injured.”

“…This one’s internal injuries are severe.”

She hesitated, then launched into a lengthy explanation to justify receiving medicine.

Then, she spotted me behind Sister Ye-rim.

“Why is that scoundrel here!!!”

“Because some crazy bitch blew up our authentic support even after the duel ended.”

“Th-that’s because you attacked from behind, cowardly…”

“Says the blind bitch who got backstabbed. You’re a disgrace to martial artists, Chu In-ah.”

Jung Ah-yeon gritted her teeth, furious.

Ignoring her anger, I addressed her directly,

“Remember what I said? If you lose, you’ll do whatever I say.”

“What kind of shameless act are you planning! Do you intend to violate this body?”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“Ugh!!! Just kill me!!”

“I want to kill you, you bitch.”

Damn it.

This isn’t some non-con novel.

But Jung Ah-yeon, oblivious to my feelings, retreated into her own delusional world.

“Th-th-this is humiliating, but I have no choice.”

“Stop with the bullshit.”

“Even if you break this one’s body, you will never have this one’s heart.”

“Shall I kill her? Can I kill her? Please let me kill her, this bitch!”

Sister Ye-rim’s expression darkened due to Jung Ah-yeon’s nonsensical ramblings.

She kept glancing at me and using her coat to cover her skirt, which only fueled my anger.

“Give me your contact information. I’m going to make you suffer all day Sunday, so prepare yourself.”

“Hmph. Is that your kink? I told you, this one will never submit.”

“Just get your damn medicine and get out!!!!!”

Amidst the chaos, Sister Ye-rim, her professionalism unwavering, had already gathered and organized the necessary medicine.

Jung Ah-yeon grabbed the medicine and fled the infirmary.

After a brief silence, Sister Ye-rim turned to me, her gaze trembling nervously.

“Um… Shinwoo, by any chance…”

“Yes?”

“…Does Kang-hyuk share your… preferences?”

“…Please stop asking, I’m getting dizzy.”

“He could be influenced by the people around him.”

She was persistent, so I finally told her that Old Man Kang-hyuk’s kink wasn’t non-con but rather busty femdom.

Since I wasn’t going to be the one getting dominated, I even advised her to prepare a strap-on for his “initiation.”

She wrote down my unsolicited advice with a serious expression and then got ready to leave.

“Well then, Shinwoo, I’m going to dinner.”

“Please bring back some takeout.”

“You want more than the infirmary snacks? Don’t you have any shame?”

“That’s a different story. Go upstairs. You made a lot of money, after all.”

But Sister Ye-rim retorted with a glare,

“That money is mine. Why are you acting like it’s yours?”

“…I’m the one who helped you make it, right?”

“I always bet on the underdog. Today was just a lucky coincidence for you.”

“What a crazy gambler.”

Then, she said magnanimously,

“If you’re the underdog again, I’ll do a naked dogeza for Kang-hyuk.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“…Honestly, I just want to do it.”

As she was about to leave, she grabbed the doorknob and said firmly,

“Sleep rape is a crime, you know?”

“Damn it.”

As soon as she left, I sent Old Man Kang-hyuk a message: “You should be grateful.”

He immediately sent me a middle finger emoji, which I quietly ignored.

‘Be grateful. You’re about to lose your virginity and innocence at the same time.’

Hye-ji and I were finally alone in the infirmary.

While she slept, I sat down on a chair next to her bed and tried to read some novels on my phone.

Yep. The server crashed again.

Damn it.

As I was about to throw my phone across the room, Hye-ji moaned and started opening her eyes.

“Ugh… my money.”

“Hey, Hye-ji, you’re awake?”

“Huh? Shinwoo? Where’s my money?”

“…Can’t you at least greet me when you see me?”

“Yeah, nice to see you. Now tell me where my money is, Lebowski.”

I took her phone out of my pocket, unlocked the screen, and handed it to her.

“Check it. You didn’t have a lock screen password.”

“Only people with something to hide use passwords.”

“I guess your search history has nothing to hide either?”

Her movements abruptly stopped.

Her pupils dilated as she slowly turned to me and asked,

“…Did you see?”

“You have a rather hardcore taste.”

“…Damn it.”

To avoid pushing her over the edge with further embarrassment, I quickly changed the subject.

“So, how do you feel about your winnings?”

“Shinwoo, I’m so happy right now. I’m only betting on underdogs from now on.”

“Snap out of it, you crazy bitch.”

“This much money for one fight? Is this the only form of gambling allowed in the academy?”

Gambling, you say?

We can’t have another Sea Story scandal.

“Come on, it’s a sport.”

“Ah, right. It’s a legitimate sport.”

Hye-ji, being the authentic support she was, agreed readily.

I took advantage of her obsession with money and said slyly,

“Now that you’ve made a fortune, can you forgive me for writing your name in the ‘tool’ section of the application form?”

“…Do you have any shame, human? I did most of the work.”

“You wouldn’t have gotten an assist if we hadn’t won.”

“Ha… fine. I wouldn’t have made this much money without you.”

Then, her expression suddenly turned gloomy.

“I’m so pissed that I couldn’t land a single hit on that bitch.”

“I have a gift for you.”

“What is it?”

I said with a sinister smile,

“Remember that I told her she’d have to do whatever I say if I won?”

“…Hate sex, huh?”

“Damn it, why do you always assume the worst about me?”

“Whatever, what’s your plan?”

I told her my plan.

By the time I finished explaining, her gloomy expression had transformed into a sinister one, mirroring mine.

“Master Shinwoo, please let me join this plan.”

“Of course, you’re my authentic support who’s faced life and death with me.”

We discussed the details of how to summon Jung Ah-yeon on Sunday.

Then, I sent her a one-sided message: “If you don’t obey, I’ll tell your sister what you said earlier.”

She immediately called me, but I quickly silenced my phone.

My business was done, so I told Hye-ji I was leaving.

“You did well today. Are you staying here tonight?”

“My legs feel weak for some reason. I think I’ll stay.”

“Okay, I understand. Should I turn off the lights?”

“…Shinwoo?”

“Yeah?”

She looked slightly scared as she spoke,

“…Can you… not turn off the lights?”

“Hmm? Sure.”

“And…”

The number above her head suddenly increased.

Then, she smiled and said,

“Never mind. It’s getting late. You should go back to your dorm. I’ll be asleep soon.”

What did she just experience to make her regress?

And why is she smiling so awkwardly?

Did she not want me to leave?

How annoying.

“It’s fine. I’ll wait until you fall asleep.”

“Huh?… Why?”

“Why? You fought hard today, it’s the least I can do.”

“Really?”

The red number above her head increased again.

I guess she didn’t want me to leave her alone.

I’m such a trash human being.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Don’t worry. I’m more concerned about you not being able to sleep with the lights on.”

“You’ll really stay until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.”

Her tense expression softened.

She hesitated, then whispered,

“…If you’re going to stay… you can turn off the lights.”

“Alright.”

I turned off the lights, pulled the chair closer to her bed, and sat down.

I thought about teasing her by turning off the lights and leaving, but seeing her expression made me reconsider.

As soon as the lights went out, she asked anxiously, as if to confirm my presence,

“Shinwoo, you’re still here, right?”

“Yeah, I’m right here.”

“…Thank you.”

I closed my eyes, refraining from using my phone, so I wouldn’t disturb her sleep.

After a while, as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could faintly make out Hye-ji’s face.

Suddenly, she spoke, her eyes still closed,

“Shinwoo, you haven’t left, right?”

“Yeah, I’m right next to you.”

She hesitated even more this time, her voice barely a whisper.

“…Can you… hold my hand?”

“…Why your hand?”

“N-never mind! Just forget I said anything.”

I saw the number above her head increase.

I reached out and grabbed her left hand.

The red number above her head increased again.

“Like this?”

“Huh?… Huh? Huh?”

“Hey, snap out of it. Snap out of it. Snap out of it.”

“Huh? But? Why? How? Why?”

She seemed to have malfunctioned from the unexpected situation.

“Why are you already broken? You’re the one who asked me to hold your hand.”

“Ah? Ah… right.”

“Okay, feeling better now?”

“…Th… thank you.”

After a long silence, she spoke again.

“Shinwoo.”

“Yeah?”

“…Isn’t this weird? Suddenly asking you to turn off the lights and hold my hand?”

It’s not weird.

But if someone saw us, they’d probably handcuff me.

“What’s the big deal about holding your hand? Hey, I’m not forcing you to do this, alright?”

“I’m not going to report you, so stop overreacting.”

“That’s a relief. But are you sure it’s okay for me to hold your hand like this?”

“No, no, it’s fine. You’re a bit weird, but… it’s okay.”

“…Was that middle part really necessary?”

She squeezed my hand with her small hand.

The number above her head increased again.

Can she really regress this often?

And I’m the only one who can’t?

“…Actually…”

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

“……”

“It’s just holding your hand. Relax.”

She didn’t respond.

Instead, she tightened her grip on my hand.

“……”

“That means it’s okay.”

“Thank you. It’s okay. I want to tell you.”

“No, seriously, you don’t have to force yourself if it’s hard.”

The red number above her head increased once again.

She turned her head to look at me.

“It’s not like that.”

“…Huh?”

“I just… want to tell you.”

“Alright, go ahead.”

She turned her head away again, remaining silent.

After a while…

She started rambling, her words pouring out randomly.

I listened quietly.

“After my mom disappeared, I cried every night. Before that, we used to sneak out and have fun together at night.

After that, I started sleeping with the lights on, and even then, I couldn’t sleep properly. I kept tossing and turning.

I even pulled a lot of all-nighters. Pathetic, right?

My mom was so beautiful and strong. Especially when she wielded a sword, she was the most beautiful person in the world.”

It was a story of someone’s memories.

“My mom said my hair color was the most beautiful. That’s why she always wore red accessories.

After she disappeared, my dad became quiet. He used to smile a lot.

He trained me everyday, making me suffer and pushing me hard. But he never really hit me.

I don’t hate him.

…It’s just awkward, and I still can’t bring myself to talk to him.”

The longing for a family lost forever.

And the awkward feelings for the family she still had.

It was a trivial story of a little girl with all those mixed feelings.

I forced my rarely used brain to process the information.

Hye-ji suffered from a bit of trauma after losing her mother at a certain point in her life.

Her stunted growth seemed to be a result of insufficient sleep caused by psychological factors.

Let’s not mention that last part.

Her only remaining family were her father and herself.

And it seemed their relationship became strained after her father tried to raise her to be strong after her mother’s disappearance.

She spoke in a slightly self-deprecating tone,

“Shinwoo, am I weird?”

“……”

“…Shinwoo… am I not weird?”

“……”

As I continued to remain silent, her tone suddenly turned aggressive.

“…Bastard… are you sleeping?”

“…Huh?”

“I’m trying to have a serious conversation, and you’re sleeping? Seriously?”

“Shinwoo isn’t sleeping.”

Hye-ji sat up abruptly and glared at me.

“You’re closing your eyes and hanging your head, how can you be awake!!”

“Don’t misunderstand. I was meditating with my eyes closed.”

Before she could retort, I said,

“You’re saying you have trouble sleeping at night because of your trauma, right? And improving your relationship with your father is difficult?”

“…You were awake?”

Seeing that I was indeed listening, she looked a bit disappointed.

That’s a bit unfair.

“I heard everything.”

“Right. Well, I guess you’re right.”

“So, you feel better when I hold your hand like this?”

“…Yeah. My mom used to hold my hand like this.”

She squeezed my hand tightly.

Hey.

That hurts.

“Call me if you need anything. Though I’m not comfortable going to the girls’ dorm with all those eyes on me.”

“Then should I come to your room?”

I imagined Hye-ji coming to my room late at night.

“…That doesn’t make it any better. Actually, it’s worse.”

“…Ah… right. Sorry.”

The atmosphere suddenly became awkward, and we both fell silent.

To change the subject, I asked,

“You don’t hate your father, do you?”

“I don’t hate him, but… how do I put this…”

She pondered for a moment and then continued,

“It’s just awkward. I don’t know what to say to him.”

“Just talk to him about anything.”

“For no reason? Just like that?”

“You don’t need a reason to talk to your parents.”

What is family, anyway?

It’s about talking nonsense, laughing over trivial things, fighting over minor issues, and then making up.

Of course, I wish my parents would be more considerate of me.

I come home, and all they talk about is having another child. Seriously?

Hye-ji’s complexion seemed to have improved.

I asked, still holding her hand,

“Feeling better now?”

“Yes, thank you. I feel much better.”

“That’s good. Now lie down. I’ll hold your hand until you fall asleep.”

She hesitated for a moment, then smiled and replied,

“…Thank you. Good night.”

“Good night.”

She fell asleep within 30 seconds.

Meanwhile, I also started feeling drowsy from meditating with my eyes closed earlier.

But Hye-ji’s grip was surprisingly strong, so I couldn’t free my hand.

I thought I’d let go later, but my thoughts drifted away.

And just like that, we both fell asleep.

The faint smile that graced someone’s lips remained a secret only they knew.

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‘Damn it.’

That was the thought that crossed the woman’s mind as she supported her drunken colleague, Ye-rim, her office attire disheveled.

She had dragged the passed-out Ye-rim to the infirmary.

‘You bastards, I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.’

It all started with a simple invitation to dinner with her female colleagues.

She should have recognized that they were all desperate spinsters and made a quick escape. This disastrous outcome was practically inevitable.

And now, she was paying the price.

‘When drunk ,these women are dumber than my puppy.’

Suddenly, Ye-rim stirred.

And, in typical drunkard fashion, unfiltered words tumbled out of her mouth.

“My hubby! Is the baby maker ready? I’m ready!!!”

“Please, shut up.”

It would’ve been less frustrating if she had just gotten drunk herself.

Then, she could have joined Ye-rim in being carried by someone else.

She was off duty, yet this crazy Ye-rim was the one who went diving into a pool of alcohol.

“Damn it, I should have had a few drinks too.”

She suddenly felt lighter.

Ye-rim had slumped to the ground.

She started rubbing her lower abdomen and groin.

“Heeheehee! Baby maker, you’re all mine~~.”

“You crazy bitch! Stop it!!!!!”

She covered the mouth of the near delusional – no, already delusional – Ye-rim and dragged her to the infirmary.

Of course, Ye-rim kept muttering things like “Womb! Prepare for action!” as they walked.

*’This is why spinsters are terrifying.’ *

Had it been a mistake coming to work at the academy for the high salary?

She endured the situation, thinking about buying treats for Poppy, her only solace in life.

As she opened the infirmary door, she saw two students sleeping on a bed, holding hands.

The male student looked uncomfortable, as if he was about to fall off the chair he was sitting on.

The female student was lying neatly on the bed, seemingly smiling faintly in her sleep.

But her observation was cut short.

The crazy Ye-rim was about to go on another rampage.

“Huh? Huh? They’re already holding hands?”

“Do you know them?”

“I haven’t even held hands yet! Why are you ahead of me? You traitor!”

“Don’t wake them up!!!!”

Ye-rim tried to lunge at the sleeping students.

But she was completely wasted.

She couldn’t even take a step forward. She stumbled, tripped, and slammed her stomach into the desk.

*’Good job, bitch. Good job.’ *

It seemed like a high blood alcohol concentration not only impaired judgment but also numbed pain.

The proof was right before her eyes: Ye-rim got up as if nothing had happened and started yelling again.

“That guy isn’t even as handsome as my hubby!!!”

“I get it, just be quiet!”

“I’m going to…”

“Huh?…”

A shiver ran down her spine.

Her instincts screamed:

I’m screwed.

I’m truly screwed.

‘Ah, damn it. Shit. Really.’

That bump against the desk had triggered a butterfly effect.

Before the storm could unleash its full fury, she grabbed Ye-rim by the hair and started running.

Their destination: the bathroom.

“Don’t throw up here, let’s go to the bathroom, quickly!”

“Ugh…”

“Please, please, please, please.”

Thanks to their desperate sprint, they reached the bathroom just in time.

Well, they reached the bathroom.

“Blargh…”

Half a step.

Just half a step more, and she would have reached the toilet.

But that half a step wasn’t enough.

“You bitch.”

People often grab onto something when they’re throwing up, especially when drunk.

There are various targets:

Utility poles. Walls. Doghouses.

And juniors.

Ye-rim grabbed onto her junior and started vomiting on her clothes.

The sour stench filled the air, and the clothes became increasingly soaked with the regurgitated contents of a human stomach.

Tears welled up in the junior’s eyes.

At least she was in the bathroom, near a water source.

And even hellish experiences eventually come to an end.

*’Poppy, mommy is suffering so much.’ *

That day, someone matured a little.

It was a trivial story.

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Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous

Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous

Score 9.7
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2021 Native Language: Korean
Hey, all of us who CAN'T regress, how about we hit that like button? I'll go first!

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stryke105
stryke105
1 month ago

poor old man…

error: Content is protected !!

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