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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Cyno
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What was it I truly wanted?
The “hero’s treatment” I desired wasn’t anything grand.
Just… indifference. That was all.
I never wanted to be revered as some great hero.
All I wished for was to live quietly with my family.
Was that so much to ask? It wasn’t excessive.
After all I’ve given to the world, was that too much to ask in return?
…
Unfortunately.
It seems it was.
Damn it.
The rumors weren’t just idle gossip.
Someone—no, some organization—was systematically spreading them.
And they’ve hidden themselves well, making it difficult to trace the source.
If I still had the power and resources from the war, it would’ve been easy. But sadly, I’ve given away nearly all my wealth.
I asked Namgung Bin for help, but he claimed to be unwell—apparently from overexertion. Still, he promised to assist.
The frustrating part is that, aside from Bin, few are willing to stand by me.
My relationship with Namgung Su-ah is strained. She seems conflicted, but I can feel her keeping her distance.
How could she distrust me after all these years? I briefly wondered—but then remembered that I’m the only one who recalls those years.
As for my wife… I honestly don’t know. She seems to believe my explanations, but our relationship has always been awkward, and she doesn’t open up.
Lately, I’ve been uneasy.
I thought everything would be fine after the regression ended, but I’ve hit an unexpected obstacle.
With the Heavenly Demon blocking further regressions and information being controlled, I feel shackled.
Was it arrogance that led me here?
Did letting my guard down after overcoming all hardships cause this?
Perhaps.
One small mercy: in this cycle, I never achieved Complete Poison Immunity.
At least I can still get drunk on Sangong Poison.
A silver lining, I suppose.
During the war, I was never alone.
So I never realized—
How fragile human connections could be.
Or maybe I was just inept at maintaining them.
The rumors keep spreading.
Now they’re accusing me of unthinkable crimes—pedophilia, cannibalism, embezzlement.
The absurd part? “Evidence” has surfaced, and the authorities are backing it—using my Blood Cult purges and anonymous donations as pretexts.
It’s maddening, but all I can do is deny it.
I can’t just slaughter them all.
The old me would’ve found a way out of this, but lately, my mind feels sluggish.
I can’t hold a thought for long.
My relationship with my wife remains stagnant. We live under the same roof, yet it’s colder than ever.
Every time we cross paths, she clutches her chest and bows her head, as if I’m the one making her uncomfortable.
Namgung Su-ah avoids me, burying herself in training.
I worry she’s pushing herself too hard.
Namgung Bin… is the only one who still believes in me. Offers comfort.
I always knew he was clever, but I never thought him kind. Yet here he is, caring for his elder brother.
He even vowed to uncover the conspiracy against me—and given his skills, he’ll likely succeed soon.
Tonight, we’ve agreed to share a drink.
Drowning in alcohol might ease the loneliness.
“…Ah…?”
Yoo So-eun checked the date of the last entry.
It was a day she could never forget.
The day her husband came home drunk, his cheek stained with a woman’s lipstick.
“N-No way…”
A series of images unfolded in her mind.
Namgung Cheol-bin’s downfall. Namgung Bin swallowing the Namgung family whole the moment he was gone.
Namgung Bin, who’d later taunt her with the marriage-by-force law.
…And Namgung Bin, who’d gone drinking with Cheol-bin that night.
“Ch-Cheol-bin… What really happened that day…?”
A wave of dread crashed over her as she muttered in self-loathing.
My wife’s attitude toward me has changed.
Grown colder—no, outright hostile.
She no longer tries to speak to me, and if she sees me, she alters her path even if it inconveniences her.
This started after that night with Namgung Bin.
All I remember is drinking Sangong Poison as usual, then sharing a few drinks with him.
I wasn’t drugged, yet I must’ve done something wrong that night.
The problem? She won’t even give me a chance to ask.
One by one, the world is turning its back on me. Namgung Bin’s promised “mastermind” remains elusive.
It’s suffocating.
Okhwa visited the estate recently but left without a word and has since secluded herself.
My younger sister, Namgung Soso, called me disgusting. Told me to cut off my own genitals—words too vile to write.
Shinseung, who always understood me… I can’t even seek him out. As a martial artist, visiting someone who’s renounced the world would violate tradition.
And my old friend Dongbang Bulpae? I can’t face him either. After all his help, he declared he never wanted to see me again. I’m not shameless enough to force myself on him.
Though the infamous Namgung Cheol-bin might’ve done so.
Damn it.
I’m trapped.
It’s strange.
Namgung Bin is still here, yet I feel utterly alone.
Everyone has turned away—no, they have turned away.
This cycle was never meant to be neglected.
It was supposed to be my last.
Yet here I am, powerless as it unravels.
After enduring thousands of cycles for this one, to have it collapse like this…
Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!
It was Namgung Bin.
My brother, the former strategist of the Martial Alliance—he was the mastermind behind my downfall.
Using the power I gave him.
The wealth he amassed under my nose.
He orchestrated the rumors, the smear campaign—everything.
They say the darkest place is under the lamp—
But I never imagined the one who stood by me would betray me.
There was no reason.
We weren’t on bad terms.
Had I ever harmed him? Of course not.
I was even preparing to pass the family leadership to him. To him, I should’ve been an asset, not a threat.
Damn it… I realized too late.
No one listens to me now. The false charges against me are set in stone.
My family avoids me, despises me.
Now that I know Bin’s behind this, I should act—but today, I received a letter.
From a spy in the Blood Cult.
The remnants have unsealed the Vice Sect Leader—a supreme master. And soon, he’ll emerge into the world.
His current location? Qinghai Province—Kunlun Sect’s territory.
But Kunlun can’t stop him. They can’t even warn others, and even if they did, they’d be powerless.
So I must go.
I hesitate only because tomorrow is the hearing.
The day I’m to confront those I’ve allegedly wronged, to challenge their lies.
If I miss it, the world will accept their version as truth.
But…
More than my reputation—
The lives in Qinghai matter more.
And tomorrow isn’t the only chance. I can reschedule the hearing when I return.
Truth always pierces through lies in the end.
I’ll go. Handle the urgent matter first.
Thud—
Yoo So-eun closed the long, long journal.
The last entry.
Even with unanswered questions, she understood why it ended there.
“Ugh…! Uuugh…!”
Before she could dwell on it, the nausea she’d been fighting surged up.
“Gaaah—!”
A viscous mess splattered beneath the table.
“Uuugh…”
Even after vomiting, her stomach refused to settle. She struck her chest—
Thud, thud—
Thump, thump—
Not to relieve the tightness, but to punish herself.
“Aah, ugh…”
She didn’t need to read further to know what came next.
Namgung Cheol-bin had missed the hearing, returning only after days, exhausted.
Then came the fevers, the convulsions—behavior that cemented his “demon” reputation.
Even in her eyes.
Soon after, he was exiled from the family. Namgung Bin became interim leader, then official head.
The infamous “Expulsion of the Sword Saint.”
Now, she’d uncovered the truth behind it—his innocence.
“Guh…!”
Despite emptying her stomach, bile rose again.
“Gaaah—!”
White filth splashed over the earlier mess.
Her daughter slept nearby, but she couldn’t stifle her retching.
This vomit was what remained after holding back as long as she could.
Disgusting.
Revolting.
Cheol-bin, who never revealed the truth?
Namgung Bin, who orchestrated his downfall?
No—herself.
Her who whined about his lack of love.
Her who shut her heart over a fake lipstick mark.
Not just a fool—disgusting.
“Huuu… H-Huuu…”
Tears streamed from her lifeless, hollow eyes.
“H-He always loved me…”
Clear droplets fell onto the thick vomit below.
“How could I not see it…?!”
His emotions, his suffering, his final act—fighting the Blood Cult’s Vice Leader to save the world.
“Begging for love like a child… What was I thinking…?”
And his reward? Cold rejection. Betrayal.
Including hers.
“Huuu… H-Huuuu…”
She’d fallen into Namgung Bin’s trap, danced in his palm.
Helped exile Cheol-bin during the family council.
At Chilhwa Manor, she’d even misunderstood—
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…!”
For three years, he’d loved only her—pure, unwavering devotion.
“It’s my fault… I’m the wicked one…!”
She’d mistaken him for a lecher, tangled in Jin Gayoung’s skirts.
“I was wrong… So wrong…!”
If only she’d trusted him, he might not have broken.
If she’d been warmer, talked to him—
“I’m sorry… Truly sorry…”
He wouldn’t have withered as he did when exiled.
“Darling…”
He wouldn’t have spoken in that unlike-him voice at Chilhwa Manor.
The family wouldn’t have shattered.
They wouldn’t have come to this.
The clan wouldn’t have fallen.
“I-I’m sorry… So sorry…! If only I…!”
Unlike at Chilhwa Manor—
This wasn’t an apology for Su-ah’s sake.
For the first time, Yoo So-eun apologized truthfully.
“I’m… I’m the one who deserves to die…!”
Even if it would never reach him.
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