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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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“You seem to be deep in thought.”
“How can I not be? The person sitting in the driver’s seat is glaring at me so fiercely.”
“It seems he cares a lot about the saint.”
When I nodded at Adele’s words, Adriana in front of me seemed to be staring at me intently.
I had no choice but to be cautious in many ways.
It was just about deciding the seating in the carriage, but considering how these women thought of me…
I realized it was a much more important issue than I had expected.
That was why it was difficult.
Adele sitting next to me probably didn’t think much of it, but I had rarely agonized this much in this life, at least.
I thought I had lived longer than others.
I had accumulated more experience than most people with considerable years, and the wisdom I had accumulated over time was not insignificant.
Yet I never expected to be troubled by such a problem.
I should push them away, I should reject them, but I wasn’t sure if I could do it.
Even though I didn’t want to appear indecisive, each of them was precious to me.
Perhaps it would be best if I just disappeared.
If everything worked out well and concluded, maybe I would go on a journey without telling anyone.
I was a bit curious about how others would react.
Adele would probably try to chase after me somehow, but surely she wouldn’t come by ship.
Anyway, I decided not to think about this situation.
The more deeply I thought about it, the more complicated it became only for me.
It was a relationship that would have to be sorted out someday, and even now it was precariously treading the line.
But the moment to sort it out wasn’t now, was it?
No one had directly expressed affection for me, nor had any conflict arisen because of me.
Miragen seemed to think it was rather fortunate that she wasn’t sitting with me.
When our eyes occasionally met, she avoided my gaze with a strange expression, so she might be feeling embarrassed about what happened earlier.
We were still in an awkward relationship.
It was the same with Adriana and Adele, but especially so with Miragen.
We hadn’t spent much time together, and the moments we had met were often short and intense.
From her perspective, she might not understand why I was acting so devotedly.
I hoped that when Miragen recalled her memories later, she wouldn’t blame herself for killing me.
That was just something that happened once.
It was an accident, an unavoidable incident.
At that time, didn’t I rather wish for Miragen to kill me?
As the people around me recalled more memories of the previous rounds, my feelings became more complicated.
While I hoped they wouldn’t be sad seeing me die, I was afraid they might look at me with different emotions than now.
“…I used to sit there originally.”
I smiled slightly at Adriana’s murmur, just loud enough for only me to hear.
So, I wanted to live hearing such words continuously.
I didn’t want sympathy or pity just because I had died a few times.
Adele was a great help when I had such thoughts.
Wasn’t she the only one who could help me at this point?
As I gazed out the window lost in thought for a moment, Adele tapped my shoulder lightly with her finger.
“It’s better not to think too much. Especially you, you tend to think in negative ways.”
“Then I feel like I should say something. Are you willing to be my conversation partner?”
“I could lend you my shoulder. Don’t you plan to sleep?”
Sleep.
To be honest, I was a bit tired from worrying about Miragen.
Adriana and Miragen had already fallen asleep leaning on each other’s heads, so I rubbed my eyes slightly and looked at Adele.
Adele grinned at my gaze, then swept her hair to the side and shrugged.
“You can just sleep.”
“No, I can’t just sleep.”
Adele pulled my head and buried my face in her shoulder.
When I mumbled, unable to breathe for a moment, she released her grip with a small laugh.
I thought this would make it harder to sleep, but contrary to my thoughts, my body must have been quite tired.
With my vision gradually closing, I glanced at Adele.
There was a faint smile on her lips as she looked down at me, so I was able to fall asleep with some peace of mind.
It seemed like I had fallen asleep like this before.
In old memories that Adele would now remember too.
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“…It’s the same.”
Adele muttered, looking at Robert sleeping on her shoulder.
There was no particular need to act like this, but in the memories that had been coming back more and more lately, there had been times like this.
The suppression of different races in the middle of winter, which had already ended long ago in the present, but was still ongoing in the old memories.
There had been a time when they relied on each other’s body heat in a cave they had entered while fleeing from the different races.
Taking off clothes soaked in blood, wrapped in cloaks with only underwear remaining.
When she remembered all of that vividly, it was a bit embarrassing, but the lingering emotions from that time gave Adele a strange feeling.
Like when Robert was sleeping on her shoulder, leaning against the rough cave wall, and herself silently watching him.
She didn’t mind his hair touching her, dirty and soaked in blood.
Rather, she had only wished for that time to last a little longer.
She had wondered why she felt that way then, and found it wasn’t a bad experience.
She thought he slept remarkably well on someone else’s shoulder.
If it had been her, she wouldn’t have been able to fall asleep easily, being wary of others.
Was it trust in her, or was he just the type to easily trust others?
Given Robert’s usual behavior, it was probably the former, but Adele found it difficult to judge Robert’s heart accurately.
At first, his eyes had just been empty.
They were eyes that didn’t reflect any emotion, she had wanted to hold onto him because he looked like someone who might leave at any moment.
These days he showed quite emotional sides, but because the change was so sudden, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
Sometimes he smiled gently as if he was truly happy.
Other times he wore a sad expression as if he had lost everything in the world.
Robert’s face didn’t usually show much emotional change.
It was always just a small smile or a furrowed brow.
But his eyes couldn’t tell lies.
‘He must have other memories.’
She didn’t think that there were only memories of him being with her.
There must have been times with that saint, and times when he had deep relationships with the princess.
But now he was by her side.
It didn’t seem like there was anyone else who had recalled any memories.
It bothered her.
The fact that there were things she didn’t know, and that she couldn’t pry into Robert’s secrets.
If it were anyone else it would be different, but she found herself strangely weak when it came to Robert.
Whether it was because of the memories she used to hold or not, she just… couldn’t treat Robert the same way she treated Lothos or Bunta.
She could have threatened him by swinging her sword around, or used her position as Grand Duchess to make him talk.
She didn’t do it simply because she didn’t want to.
Lothos had said her attitude towards Robert was unlike her usual self.
That was why he had spread that ridiculous rumor about them being lovers.
When she first heard it, she thought she should bury Lothos in a sunny spot, but thinking about it again, it wasn’t that unpleasant.
It was just a baseless rumor now, but her thoughts had changed along with recalling her memories.
In her memories, hadn’t she even been thinking of proposing to Robert?
Of course, it was different from the feelings she held now.
That might be why she was confused.
She didn’t want to be swayed by the past and present, even by this incomprehensible past whose existence she hadn’t known.
Robert, sleeping on her shoulder, showed no small movements.
He must have been sound asleep, as his steady breathing continued even with the slight shaking of the carriage.
She stared blankly at Robert like that.
His slightly long eyelashes, unusually pale skin.
Those eyes that had been looking at her, those lips that had been chattering until just now.
As the gap between their faces gradually narrowed like that…
“…What are you doing?”
Adele’s brow furrowed deeply as she was intently gazing at Robert’s face.
Her concentration was broken.
In that moment of conflicting emotions, Adele finally regained her composure and raised her head.
Robert was still leaning on her shoulder, and Miragen quietly stared at Adele.
She couldn’t understand what had happened while she had briefly fallen asleep.
She was sure Robert and the Grand Duchess had been sitting far apart, but when did they get so close?
While looking at Robert sleeping on Adele’s shoulder, she had clearly seen her approaching his face just now.
What was she trying to do to someone who was asleep?
Miragen narrowed her eyes, and Adele spoke.
“I was just looking for a moment.”
“It didn’t look like you were just looking. I don’t know why Lord Taylor is sleeping like that, but were you close enough to stare at a sleeping person’s face?”
“Yes, we were.”
From Adele’s perspective, it was a natural thing to say.
Although they weren’t bound by the term ‘friend’ or any other title, she was the only one who knew Robert’s memories.
So what else was needed besides her saying they were close?
Robert knew, and she remembered.
At least in this carriage, there was no closer relationship than between Robert and herself.
Miragen was flustered by that confident answer, but then she calmed herself down.
There was no reason to get angry.
She was just a little surprised to see Adele and Robert so close.
But if there was another question, it was about the basis for her claiming they were close.
She knew Robert was Adele’s adjutant, but it didn’t seem to fit with the relationship she had seen between them in the North.
“…Was there something I didn’t know about? You seem closer than before.”
“Many things happened.”
When Adele laughed softly, Miragen glanced at Adriana, who was still asleep.
There was still a lot she didn’t know about Robert.
It was the same with how he had become friends with Adriana without her knowing, but she hadn’t expected anything to happen with the Grand Duchess either.
“Well, we were even called lovers.”
Miragen stiffened at those words.
Lovers, if what she heard wasn’t wrong, the meaning was clear.
She didn’t think it was a joke… really?
Unable to easily believe it, Miragen’s eyes, which had maintained composure, began to waver.
Adele grinned at that reaction.
Whether princess or saint, seeing them shaken by such words made their inner thoughts quite transparent.
It would be different from herself.
Knowing the memories of the past, they couldn’t be like her, confused between past and present.
Of course, even if their hearts were filled with love for Robert, even if her own heart was still confused.
Adele had no intention of easily giving up Robert.
Hadn’t she been the one who showed interest first?
She met him first, and was the first to tell him to come to the North.
Although their first meeting wasn’t exactly smooth, it was certain that Adele’s feelings for Robert had gone beyond mere interest.
She wouldn’t let go.
As she had said before, she didn’t think of Robert as an object, but she still considered him hers.
There was a saying in the North.
If you want something, first get your hands on it.
Although she couldn’t say she had completely gotten her hands on Robert yet, well.
Who knew how things would turn out in the future.
If her feelings became the same as those women’s, then she could claim Robert in a different way when that time came.
Whatever method it might be, it wasn’t something Adele needed to consider deeply.
She had always lived that way.
Taking what she wanted, and if necessary, obtaining it by any means.
That was Adele’s way, and soon it would be the North’s way.
“I hope we arrive soon.”
Adele said, looking at the confused Miragen.
Even if they weren’t obstacles to her, it was better for her competitors to disappear quickly if possible.
Adele looked out the window as they headed towards their destination like that.
There weren’t many thoughts in her mind.
Half of them were about Robert still sleeping on her shoulder, and a little about the two women sitting in front of her, and the rest was about the name of the relic they were going to see.
The name ‘Crown of Memories’, which she had vaguely heard while coming to the South, was lingering in her mind.
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