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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Cyno
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Black liquid was bubbling furiously in the pot. This concoction, made from charcoal water and various herbs, was emitting a pungent smell under Shura’s careful hands, gradually transforming into a viscous substance.
Shura scooped some with a spatula, smelled it, and then offered it to me.
“Master. How is it?”
I dipped a finger in, brought it to my nose, and made a very satisfied expression. The concentration was sufficient, and the strong herbal scent was pleasing.
“Nice. Perfect.”
“Shall I bring the bottle then?”
“Yeah.”
Shura promptly presented a small golden bottle adorned with Eastern Continent-style divine beast patterns. It was called ‘Seunghara’. Shura carefully scooped the black liquid with a spoon and meticulously poured it into the golden bottle.
Just then, Armida noona hurried into the kitchen.
“Little brother, what are you doing here? It’s almost time for the appointment.”
“Wait a moment. It’ll be finished soon.”
“What exactly are you making?”
As Armida noona approached and asked, I answered in a hushed voice.
“A bribe.”
“Who are you giving it to?”
“There’s this bald old man.”
“Ah, that Marquis Fabius person?”
“Yeah. He’s a influential figure in the Roblos Kingdom, so I should make a good impression on him while I have the chance.”
Soon, Kara would be conquered by the Roblos Kingdom. That meant my main clientele would shift from Kara to the Roblos Kingdom. For future business, it was better to grease the palms of the kingdom’s powerful figures early on.
Armida noona glanced surreptitiously at the pot steaming with vapor.
“But what is this black liquid you’re giving as a gift to the Marquis?”
“Ah, it’s hair growth formula. That old man is obsessed with hair growth formulas.”
Armida noona blinked.
“Hair growth formula? What nonsense is that, little brother? Even we in the sky city Chronos can’t make a proper one.”
“I know. That’s why they are pitiful souls forever beyond salvation.”
“But then?”
I closed the lid of the golden bottle and stored it carefully in my bosom.
“That’s how all hair growth formulas are. They look plausible but have no real effect. People use them just in case, even though they know it.”
“Whoa.”
I winked at Armida noona with one eye.
“It’s a secret. If that old man finds out, he’ll lose his mind and start dancing with his sword. I absolutely cannot handle that.”
“If you can’t handle it, don’t do it. Just buy a different gift.”
“I’m short on money lately.”
The total assets I’d earned since coming to Kara, excluding entertainment expenses, were 2,753 Leaf gold and a considerable number of Chaos Pieces. But a large sum had been spent previously on purchasing some daily necessities and creating Survival Kit No. 2, the Magic Lantern. Living expenses and the recent creation of Survival Kit No. 3, the top-grade mana bullet launcher, cost 1,230 Leaf gold, leaving me with a measly 12 Leaf gold.
Of course, successfully completing this request would net me 1,302 Leaf gold, easing my financial situation somewhat, but until then, I had to tighten my belt.
Armida noona frowned.
“You keep making strange things, that’s why you have no money.”
“I made them all because they’re useful. You’ll understand later.”
“Aigoo~ I don’t get it. Do whatever you want, little brother.”
As noona left, I left the cleanup to Shura and followed her out.
The nearby main street was extremely crowded with people who had come to see the delegation. Large banners welcoming the delegation hung on every street, and security forces, showing sharp vigilance, were deployed throughout the city center in case of emergencies.
The delegation’s visit was a very special event, so the Lord’s palace seemed to have prepared thoroughly.
We were strolling leisurely along the blue stone wall path surrounding the Lord’s palace. The road in front of the magnificent mansion was very clean. The Lord’s palace, standing tall in a mosque-like style, seemed to shine especially brightly today, and the scent of jujube fruits from the street trees felt sweet.
“Little brother, what kind of person is Marquis Fabius?”
In response to Armida noona’s sudden question, I summarized my answer.
“In a word, he’s a human butcher.”
“That bad?”
“Yeah. The moment he steps onto a battlefield, his eyes glaze over. Every path he takes becomes a bloodbath. So, those who know him sometimes call him the ‘Honorary Orc.’ Once a battle starts, he doesn’t distinguish between friend or foe.”
“Whoa.”
“But in daily life, you just need to be careful about a few things. His nature isn’t that bad.”
“What should I be careful about?”
“Baldness. His vulgar knight origins. ‘Honorary Orc.’ Basically, just avoid saying those words.”
Aside from ‘bald,’ those are pretty uncommon words. Unless you say them on purpose, they won’t just come up in conversation.
“Then it should be fine. No need to worry.”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
Before we knew it, we had reached the vicinity of the main gate of the Kara Palace.
Perhaps preparing for the welcoming procession, numerous officials and soldiers were milling about chaotically in front of the palace.
I approached a plump man running around in a panic with a pale face. It was Commander-General Razal.
“Commander-General. What are you doing?”
Spotting me, Razal hurried over on his short legs.
“Master! A disaster has happened.”
“A disaster?”
“We just got word from the Roblos delegation. They say Marquis Fabius disappeared early this morning.”
“The Marquis disappeared? What do you mean?”
“According to his attendants, it seems he set off for Kara ahead of them, but no matter how many people we send to look, we can’t find any trace of him.”
I closed my eyes tightly. Anyway, this guy does whatever he wants. Well, he’s the type to even ignore the Roblos King’s orders when he’s angry, so what can you expect?
“Got it. I have a pretty good idea where he might be. I’ll find him.”
Razal’s eyes widened.
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s pretty obvious.”
“Then please find him! Who knows if the Marquis is plotting some sinister scheme here in Kara?”
“He’s not like that. That old man isn’t the scheming type.”
“But…”
Ah, I don’t know why this Commander-General is so foolish. This is the problem with societies that prioritize lineage. Letting a frivolous conspiracy theorist like this become Commander-General just because of good bloodlines is nothing but pathetic.
And the real crisis is coming from elsewhere.
Although his subordinates seem to follow him well, suggesting he has some popularity, war isn’t fought with popularity alone. That’s the problem.
I turned back to Armida noona.
“Noona, wait here for now. And don’t, under any circumstances, destroy the Lord’s palace just because they seem suspicious and you want to show off your power. We can’t afford the damages.”
Armida noona pouted.
“Do you take me for you? To cause such an accident?”
“Anyway.”
“Fine. Don’t worry and go ahead.”
“Then I’m trusting you to stay put.”
“Yeah. Go on.”
Leaving Armida noona behind, I rushed to Old Man Zenbe’s food stall. Leaving noona alone made me a bit uneasy, but not as much as leaving Marquis Fabius unchecked. When it comes to his sword, that old man becomes almost childishly pure.
No one knows what atrocity he might commit if he meets Old Man Zenbe.
‘Just as I thought.’
From a distance, I could see a giant bald old man sitting on a chair in front of the food stall. Over 2 meters tall, with a bulging, broad back. The hair around his temples was stark white, not a single black strand, and two claymores were sheathed at his waist. It was definitely that Marquis Fabius.
But the real scene was a sight to behold.
Marquis Fabius was laughing heartily, his white teeth fully visible, staring intently at Old Man Zenbe. Old Man Zenbe, completely ignoring him, was wiping plates with a dishcloth and stacking them neatly.
‘Are these guys doing this on purpose? Or are they doing it unknowingly?’
From my estimation, it’s almost 100% the former. The aura these two are emitting is so murderous it gives even me the chills. There’s no way two top-tier Masters wouldn’t recognize each other.
“Human. You’re here.”
As I approached the food stall, Old Man Zenbe greeted me with a very gentle smile. A completely different demeanor than usual. Clearly, the old man was pretending to maintain his composure in front of Marquis Fabius.
‘For heaven’s sake. You’re not neighborhood kids fighting over who’s the alley boss. What kind of disgrace is this?’
But a murderous tension hung in the air, making me afraid to intervene. Between them hung only a thread-like peace that seemed ready to snap at the slightest touch, and the sharp killing intent they radiated felt like it could tear my body to shreds.
However, for the perfect completion of the request, I had to stop them. If these two fought here, it would be a major disaster.
Of course, I’d survive, but what did the innocent passersby do wrong? Moreover, if either of them died in that duel, Kara would be utterly ruined. The thousands of orc mercenaries who regard Old Man Zenbe as their leader and the large Roblos escort force arriving soon would engage in a bloody battle within the city center.
After clearing my throat repeatedly, I pretended not to know and inserted myself between them.
“Old man. Who is this gentleman?”
“Well. Judging by his appearance, he seems like an orc brother, but seeing his bald head, perhaps not. We orcs might shave our heads ourselves, but we don’t have bald bloodlines. Hmph.”
100% provocation. And a combo attack at that. I glanced subtly at Marquis Fabius and facepalmed. A lightning-shaped vein was bulging prominently on the Marquis’s bald head.
“Old man. Just give him some food.”
“Alright. What should I give him?”
Then Marquis Fabius cut into our conversation.
“Young man. I heard this place does grilled dishes well. An old orc named Mogri recommended it, so it must be reliable.”
Grill and Mogri. It was a combination of words that certainly brought the orc great hero Grolmog to mind. But what kind of forced combination is this? Even a fool wouldn’t fall for such a clumsy provocation.
Old Man Zenbe slammed a kitchen knife down with all his might, destroying the cutting board. Damn it, he took the bait.
I said urgently,
“The usual thing you eat every day. You know it?”
“Got it. Wait.”
Old Man Zenbe gritted his teeth and turned away sharply. Marquis Fabius, having scored an unexpected victory, grew even more confident and ran his mouth.
“Proprietor. I hear orc berserkers have… stamina issues. Is it because the entire race is like that?”
This is insane. There’s a certain dignity to sarcasm, but this old man is just throwing out whatever comes to mind. It would be a hundred times more dignified if he just mooned us as a provocation.
Old Man Zenbe chuckled.
“Well, it’s true human eyes only see humans. I’ve heard humans are done in one minute, saying ‘OK’. But us orcs embark on a furious and lengthy journey.”
I looked at Old Man Zenbe with bewildered eyes. This old man was going a step further, mixing in philosophical discourse to participate in this lame sarcasm.
“Hmph. One minute? Young orc gentleman, you seem to not know me.”
“Ah, my apologies. For an old human like you, perhaps two minutes. I’ve long heard rumors that bald humans are good in that department too.”
Marquis Fabius smiled bitterly and moved both hands to his sword hilts. It’s blown. The maddening thing is that they’re falling for provocations that aren’t even impressive.
It seems these two need to learn how to run their mouths before ascending to higher realms of swordsmanship. And in a special accelerated class at that.
“Hey. Both of you, calm down. Listen to me for a second.”
Old Man Zenbe and Marquis Fabius glared at me simultaneously.
“Human, be quiet!”
“Brat, don’t interfere.”
A vein throbbed on my forehead, but I endured and maintained a calm posture. Composure. Composure.
“What do you think will happen if you fight here? You have to think of other people too.”
Old Man Zenbe snorted.
“A strange thing indeed. A human worrying about others.”
“Old man. I’m on a request right now. If something happens in Kara because of the Roblos delegation, it’s absolutely not allowed.”
“That is none of my concern.”
“Old man. Are you really going to do this?”
Marquis Fabius pushed my shoulder aside and stood up.
“Brat. Don’t interfere in adult matters.”
“That’s right. This is between me and this old human. Human, if you don’t want to get hurt, go over there and make yourself small.”
These guys, the more you look, the more nonsense they spout. Brat? Kid? Make yourself small? Who are they calling immature and telling to shut up?
Irritation surged within me, and I slammed the food stall table with all my might, nearly breaking it.
“Ah, seriously! Should I just do whatever you guys say?! How old are you all acting like this?! What kind of childish tantrum is this?! If you’ve lived this long, you should act your age! Damn it!”
Instantly, the suffocating pressure from the two of them deflated significantly. They seemed momentarily taken aback by my sudden outburst.
Old Man Zenbe stepped forward to restrain me.
“Human. Why are you suddenly acting like this?”
“What, suddenly? You’re doing it too, old man. If you’re a top-tier Master, you should be dignified and taciturn. Why are you pettily arguing about one minute or two minutes, playing number games?”
At that, a snort of laughter came from the side. I glared at Marquis Fabius.
“You too, bald old man. If your head is so bare, you should have a straightforward personality. Are you really throwing a tantrum like a kid just because someone made fun of your hair? And how old are you, running away from home to do this? Is this some kind of ‘rebellious youth rewind’? Do you miss your youth that much? Tsk, really~.”
“Ahem. That’s not it…”
Perhaps too shocked, Marquis Fabius, despite having his sore spot hit, only blushed and couldn’t retort.
I stomped out of the spot.
“Both of you, follow me. I know a nice, secluded spot where no one will know even if one of you kills the other. Let’s just have one of you die today. I’ll specially referee and even dig the grave. Come quickly!”
Marquis Fabius and Old Man Zenbe suddenly started acting aloof. Old Man Zenbe coughed awkwardly and went back to grilling the meat, while Marquis Fabius, looking embarrassed, busied himself picking at the fried side dishes.
Anyway, humans and orcs are all the same. They glare like they want to kill each other, but the moment you give them an out, they quickly back down.
I should have done this earlier. Some people listen to reason, and some don’t. These two stubborn old men are clearly the latter. They only regain their senses and rationality when faced with the real prospect of someone dying. They’re a couple of perverts.
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