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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Cyno
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“Little brother! Get up quickly.”
In the heart of summer, Sister Armida was making a huge commotion early in the morning. Barely managing to poke my head out from under the blankets in a groggy state, I frowned at the sight of her noisily running around the hallway. I didn’t know why she was suddenly causing such a ruckus today, when she’s usually the last one to wake up.
“Sister, what’s wrong?”
Sister Armida huffed in front of my open bedroom door.
“Today is Saint Euroa Day!”
“What’s that?”
“My, look at you. Don’t you know Saint Euroa Day is considered the biggest festival period in Kara?”
“Oh? Why?”
“Today is the day Euroa first came to Kara, you know. She’s my friend.”
Euroa was one of the Seven Great Saints who, during the dawn of civilization, assisted Saint Prosia in spreading faith throughout this world.
“Oh? But why is Saint Euroa your friend?”
“You didn’t know the Valkyrie of Water is Saint Euroa?”
I’m pretending not to know now, but honestly, I had a rough idea. The legends of the Seven Great Saints and the Valkyrie sisters show considerable connections.
But I wanted to ignore it. There was one thing I didn’t want to acknowledge. Namely, the identity of the Valkyrie of Darkness, Sister Armida.
Our Karl family had been guardians of the dark faith until we were invaded by the Yosrahim Empire. The problem is that the one who spread the dark faith in this world was none other than ‘Saint Armida the Great Saint,’ a person of sacred and noble character.
One of the Seven Great Saints, sharing the exact same name as that very Sister Armida.
“Really?”
“That’s right!”
“Then, just out of curiosity, let me ask. You’re not actually that ‘Saint Armida,’ are you? Not just a namesake?”
“Of course it’s me. Didn’t you know?”
This is trouble. If I told Aunt Helen or the independent faction nobles within the Karl territory about Sister Armida, they’d foam at the mouth and treat me like a madman. They’re currently disguised as followers of the light, but secretly, they’ve been preserving the dark faith, and the saint they deeply revere in their hearts is none other than that sister.
“Well, I had a rough idea…”
“Then why ask if you knew? Anyway, get ready quickly. Lots of plays are showing today, and I heard a grand festival is being held at the Euroa Temple too. We have to go see.”
“Oh? Well, have fun. Enjoy yourself and eat a lot.”
Saying that, I burrowed back under the blankets. Judging by her reaction, if I showed interest, a very bothersome schedule was anticipated for today.
“Little brother!”
“What?”
“Are you really going to be like this? I even got tickets for both the morning and evening plays!”
“Return mine.”
As I pulled the covers back over my head, Sister Armida burrowed under the blankets and forcibly dragged me out.
“Hey! Get up now!”
“I said I don’t want to. It’s a hassle.”
As we wrestled back and forth, our faces accidentally ended up very close to each other. An awkward silence hung in the air as our eyes met. My gaze was caught by her crimson lips, and I blinked before suddenly giving them a peck.
It was a very light peck, but Sister Armida recoiled as if shocked, letting out a scream of astonishment.
“Little brother! What did you just do!”
I got up, feeling awkward. Sister Armida’s reaction was so excessive that even Shura came running in, startled.
“Master. What’s wrong?”
Despite Shura’s attempts to calm her, Sister Armida kept shouting.
“Hey, you brat! That… that was my first kiss! Pay me back, you jerk!”
I let out a hollow laugh.
“What kind of kiss was that? It was just a peck.”
“A peck?”
“Yeah. Just a lip touch. If that’s a kiss, then no one has pure lips except newborn babies. Parents often give their babies pecks, don’t they?”
“So you’re saying what just happened wasn’t a kiss?”
“That’s right. A real kiss is really intense. What just happened is similar to a greeting. Good morning. Good night. That sort of thing. Honestly, this sister is so naive.”
Sister Armida’s expression softened slightly, and she tilted her head.
“Little brother. But since our lips touched, couldn’t it still be called a kiss?”
“Eh~. Sister, come on, no~. If you acknowledge that as your first kiss, it’ll shatter family ethics.”
“Family ethics?”
“Yeah. In a way, we’re family, right? I’m the husband, Shura is the wife.”
Saying that, I pulled Shura’s waist close, pressing her against me. Sister Armida pointed at herself.
“Then what am I?”
“The clueless, aging spinster sister living with her little brother and his new bride. Sounds like a perfectly ordinary family.”
“Hey!”
Sister Armida’s shriek echoed through the room. Seeing her with her claws out, it seemed like a rather dangerous situation. I hurried to the clothes rack and pulled out my outdoor clothes.
“What are you doing? Didn’t you say let’s go?”
Sister Armida sat down right there, fuming.
“I’m not going!”
“What’s this? Let’s go. I’ll buy you lots of delicious things.”
The sister glanced sideways.
“Like what?”
“Anything you want to eat.”
“Then steak. As much as I want.”
“Okay. Deal?”
Sister Armida reluctantly got up.
“Well then, seeing my little brother’s sincerity, this sister should show her magnanimity. Come on, let’s go.”
As Sister Armida walked away, I let out a short sigh. I can’t tell if I’m serving a sister or raising a spoiled daughter. But she’s pretty, so it’s fine. Strangely enough, if a woman is pretty, I tend to forgive just about anything.
The streets were filled with a festive atmosphere. Lines of simple lanterns shaped like lotuses, the flower revered as the water flower, stretched along the streets. In various squares, minstrels and clowns held their own small events, gathering local residents and mischievous children.
“Little brother! Hurry up! The play is about to start.”
Sister Armida hurriedly took the lead, urging us on. I clicked my tongue and looked at her. Right now, I was carrying a medium-sized orc barrel filled with date palm fruit juice, and Shura was holding a bag full of an armful of hot dogs.
All of this was Sister Armida’s snacks for during the play. I simply cannot understand how that much food fits into that body. It seems the Valkyrie’s strength comes from the power of meals.
“Come, come, please come in~. The play ‘The Decadent Grand Duke’s Son and the Showdown of the Heroes’ is about to be performed to great acclaim, so please come in quickly and enjoy the show.”
Standing in front of Kara’s Central Cultural Hall, I blinked rapidly upon seeing the play’s title. I’d followed along because Sister Armida had pestered me so much, but it seemed like a play I probably shouldn’t be watching.
As the sister went inside the hall first, I spoke to Shula in a hushed voice.
“Shura? You don’t think the sister knows about me, do you?”
“Probably not. She’s not that perceptive or meticulous, you know.”
“I guess so?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go in. What can we do? She’s acting like this because she doesn’t know.”
“Yes.”
Our seats were VIP viewing seats on the 3rd floor. They were balcony-style seats, with a block of five seats arranged together.
As we sat down, the magic lamps lighting the surroundings began to turn off one by one, signaling the start of the play.
[Kehahaha! I will destroy this world!]
At the shout of the evil-looking actor playing me, I scratched the bridge of my nose. Suddenly, I’d become a villain trying to destroy the world. Even for the sake of entertainment, breaking plausibility like this from the very beginning is quite unfair.
Later, the incident at the ‘Divinum Holy Site’ unfolds. In the play, I stop a carriage and encounter a very handsome actor.
He was set up as a noble youth from a promising ducal family named Fubeo Boris Ferrero, who was my fierce rival during my time at the Imperial Noble Academy.
Anyway, Fubeo, with a generous heart, let me, who was being chased by the Empire, onto his carriage, and we entered the Divinum Grand Temple together. But there was a strange addition: an elf with blond hair and light blue skin was Fubeo’s companion. Shura.
‘Well, I’ll be~.’
The incident that occurred in the waiting room afterward. The horrific slaughter began when I ambushed Fubeo with the ambition of stealing the Seven Divine Artifacts from the Hall of Divinity. Struck by the surprise attack, Fubeo hovered between life and death from his grave injuries, but upon hearing the holy divine call, he obtained his family’s treasure and a great divine artifact, the ‘Storm God’s Staff, Aloim,’ and fully recovered his strength.
Soon, Fubeo battled me using the power of great magic. However, overwhelmed by my magic attacks, which were on the level of an Archdemon, he temporarily retreated to regroup.
The Divinum Holy Site burning under my magical attacks. The sacred temple and historical relics being destroyed and collapsing. I laughed maniacally amidst it all, cruelly killing people.
Shura glanced at me with a slightly wary expression.
“Master. Did you really do that?”
“No, I didn’t!”
Anxiously, I watched Sister Armida enjoying the play and wrote down the actual sequence of events on a piece of paper with a pen. I explained that I just put a few holes in the tower and broke one stained-glass window, and that the rest of the destruction was done by that damn Valkyrie, Catrione.
Moreover, I never killed anyone in the Divinum Temple. I just severed the arm of one paladin who attacked me.
“Ah~.”
After finishing my explanation to Shura, I clenched my fist. Fubeo, if I ever catch that guy, I won’t let him off easy. Judging by the story so far, it seemed certain that either Fubeo wrote the script for this play or his influence was heavily involved.
Otherwise, such a play, disregarding the actual facts, couldn’t have been produced. Back then, Fubeo was too scared to even come out of the entrance office.
[Kehahaha! Let the world be destroyed! Let the divine be defiled!]
With my evil shout, the play reached its climax. Fubeo trembled before my Archdemon-like power, praying to the gods for salvation.
Finally, in response to Fubeo’s prayers, Shura, Ignis, and Catrione awakened their power as Great Saints, and he combined all the magic of the divine artifacts into one and launched a finishing move at me. Named ‘Fubeo Saint Trio EX’. Hit by this magic, my entire body burst into flames, I screamed “I’ll be back!”, turned to ash, and vanished.
As the curtain fell on the grand finale, Sister Armida suddenly got angry and began hurling the hot dogs in her hand towards the stage.
“Hey! You XXX! Don’t cheat! Where did the scene of Catrione eating shit go?!”
Thanks to that, the hall became very chaotic, and I squinted my eyes, giving Sister Armida a sidelong glance. It seemed she had watched this play, which didn’t even suit her taste, just to see the scene of Catrione eating shit.
After the noisy play viewing, I parted ways with the group for a while. Sister Armida said she wanted to go to a beauty salon to fix her frizzy hair, so I excused myself, saying I’d go ahead to the Euroa Temple to secure seats.
You don’t go with women when they get their hair done. If you’re not careful, a precious day of your life passes by meaninglessly.
‘Well, it’s much better to use that time to pick up pretty local women.’
I exited Kara’s north gate to go to the Euroa Temple. Since the Euroa Temple is located on an island south of Lake Kara, you have to leave the city to visit it.
It was my first time on the path to the temple, but I was heading straight without getting lost. That’s because the crowd heading towards the Euroa Temple was overflowing all around.
Absentmindedly looking ahead, I spotted a familiar figure from behind. A gaunt Master Swordsman with sunken eyes and a corpse-like appearance that made passersby avoid him—I couldn’t quite remember his name.
“Hey there~. Zombie old man~!”
Callen turned around, spotted me, and his expression immediately soured.
“I believe I said Callen?”
“I know. Callen. Wow~ saw you before, and now again here. So, been well since then?”
“Yeah. But what brings you here?”
I quickly caught up to Callen.
“It’s a festival day, so I’m going to have fun.”
“What are you going to do at a festival?”
“Well. First, I thought I’d try to pick up some women.”
Callen looked me up and down and bluntly said,
“If you have nothing to do, just go home.”
“Why~? It’s a holy day.”
“Then spend it holily at home.”
I looked Callen up and down with a suspicious gaze.
“This old man is really strange. Why are you so desperate to send people home?”
“Forget it.”
As Callen quickly walked ahead, I hurriedly followed. I’m bored, so this is perfect. I’ll pass the time by teasing this old man.
But his responses were curt the whole way. He seemed like a decent person when I met him before, but I don’t know why he’s like this today. It seems like he’s suddenly hit menopause or something.
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