The Extremely Handsome Man Hides His Lineage – Chapter 1

—————————————————————–
Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Simzy
—————————————————————–

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

The vast universe, and countless stars embedded like grains of rice. A tiny spaceship was hurtling through the vast private space of those stars. Of course, there was a story behind why this small spaceship was driven to this desolate place devoid of civilization and life.

“This fucking… just how far are they going to chase me…!”

The owner of the spaceship, Karl Zeile, slammed his fist against the dashboard. It seemed to have been hit often because that particular area was subtly dented in the shape of a fist.

Ellie, the android sitting in the passenger seat, made a beep-beep electronic sound and gave an unnecessary briefing.

“Master, the distance between you and the pursuer has narrowed to within one hundred thousand kilometers. If we don’t accelerate further, they will catch up within 5 minutes.”

“Should I just become lost in space?”

“Or get caught….”

“Duh?”

“Duh.”

This fucking…

Beep-beep, beep-beep—

Ellie was pretending to be busy, making meaningless electronic sounds and racking its circuits. Of course, Karl didn’t have the time to care about this right now. He had to think of a way to shake these guys off somehow.

But even that required energy, and what could he do with this piece of junk spaceship? There wasn’t even a nearby star emitting heat, so recharging was out of the question.

“There’s no other way….”

Karl resigned himself. These money-hungry bastards were chasing him even at the risk of becoming lost themselves. He could actually die if he wasn’t careful.

Then Ellie displayed a recommendation.

“I just did a search, and there’s a good action to take in this situation.”

“…A good action?”

“Masturbating will make you feel relaxed.”

This damn can—!

Karl smacked the back of the can’s head with his palm.

Beep—

An electronic sound erupted, and the screen briefly glitched with noise.

“Oh, I, I apologize. I, I’ll display the screen.”

Ahh, ahh, good, goooood—

A pornographic scene played on Ellie’s screen. It was a scene he particularly enjoyed.

“No, fuck, I’m about to get caught, why are you showing that—!”

“I apologize. I failed to grasp your high and mighty thoughts. Please forgive me. …Ah shit, what do you even want?”

Just then, a signal came from the other spaceship. It likely meant they had gotten that close.

Karl cursed,

“Fuck—,”

and turned on the screen. A pale-faced woman popped up on the screen. She was quite pretty, unbelievably so for a bounty hunter. Of course, Karl wasn’t fooled by her looks. It probably meant she was strong enough to command those rough-looking men as her subordinates.

[I’m glad you’re still alive. I was so worried because they said they wouldn’t pay if you were dead.]

“Fuck, I’ll live longer than you, so don’t worry.”

[Hmph, judging by the noise, you’re low on energy, aren’t you?]

“It’s just your ears that hear the noise.”

Karl flipped her a double bird. She looked offended and started ranting.

[Oh my, hey, isn’t that a curse word?]

[Let’s see, boss…. Oh, it is. On Earth, that’s like cursing someone’s parents.]

[What kind of curse?]

[Like, your mom’s dead.]

[This son of a bitch—!]

The woman’s eyes turned vicious.

[You’re dead when I catch you—!]

[Boss, if he dies, we don’t get paid.]

[Fuck, then I’ll beat him to the brink of death.]

“Bitch, let’s see if you catch me. Neener neener, die, you bitch.”

Karl turned off the screen before she could retort. The android Ellie made a beep-beep electronic sound.

“This is not a recommended method. I recommend reconnecting and begging for your life abjectly. …Aren’t I going to die too?”

“Fuuuck, if I die, I die. Full acceleration. Fuck it, I don’t care anymore.”

“…Really?”

“Just accelerate—! If we get caught, we’re dead—!”

The reconnection signal was coming again, doo-doo, doo-doo. He blocked it. The inside of the spaceship became a bit quieter.

With a sullen expression on her screen, Ellie slowly started to raise the lever with her mechanical arm. The spaceship, already almost out of energy, displayed warning signs several times to stop him, but he ignored them completely.

“Accelerating.”

The spaceship roared and accelerated forward. The distance between them grew. Karl laughed like a crazy man, heehee. He figured even that crazy bitch wouldn’t follow him this far. …However, he underestimated the bounty hunter’s love of money.

If the bounty had been modest, she might have cut her losses and retreated, but a astronomical sum was on Karl’s head. Enough to buy not just one or two buildings, but a dozen. If she caught Karl, she could quit bounty hunting and start a new life.

So, this crazy bitch also started to accelerate. This crazy bitch—!

Karl was genuinely panicking.

Is this how I really get caught…?

He hadn’t anticipated this when the chase began. He’d been a fugitive for five years. He’d cleverly evaded most pursuers, but this woman was the most persistent he’d ever encountered. He was truly on the verge of becoming lost in space.

From here on out, it was a battle of nerves. Most pursuers dropped out at this point. Even if they used up all their energy and caught Karl, they’d have no energy to return.

If they were near the galactic center, they might get lucky and be found, but this was the edge of the galaxy. The distance to the nearest communicable civilization was already too far to reach even with multiple space jumps. There was no chance of being found, even by luck.

Wow, this is driving me crazy—!

Karl pounded the dashboard with his fist. He waited impatiently for the other ship to slow down. But in the end, she kept chasing.

Warning, warning. Energy reserves below 1%.

Finally, the energy reserves, which had been at 1%, dropped to 0%. The decimals after the zero were rapidly decreasing.

Karl’s mouth went dry. Was this really a suicide pact—? As the spaceship ran out of energy, the internal lights went out. Only the dashboard remained lit, powered by distant light energy.

“Fuck….”

He slumped back against his seat. Now there was nothing to do but continue drifting out of the galaxy. He stared bleakly at the universe outside the window.

Karl finally unblocked the other ship’s communication. The communication signal came through immediately. There wasn’t enough energy to power the screen, so only the sound was transmitted.

[You fucking crazy bastard! Are you trying to get yourself killed?! You son of a bitch—!!]

“You should have stopped chasing me—!”

[I won’t give up even if I die! There’s so much money on the line—!]

“Then we’ll both die.”

[I’m going to catch you first. I’ll catch you no matter what.]

He could feel the woman grinding her teeth. But Karl had one last trick up his sleeve. A final gambit.

Of course, it wouldn’t get him out of being lost in space. But at least he could give his opponent a big middle finger.

It was a bit extreme, but….

He couldn’t just be caught quietly. He had to struggle until the very end.

The distance between them steadily closed. Of course, both their speeds were incredibly fast. Ellie fretted that they would be caught in 3 minutes and 11 seconds.

“At 1 minute, fire the timer missile.”

“Understood.”

“Forward.”

At the word “forward,” not “backward,” Ellie made a strange beep-beep electronic sound.

“Forward, you say?”

“Yes, reduce the acceleration as much as possible with the explosion. That will confuse them. With any luck, we might shake them off.”

“The spaceship could suffer physical damage.”

“That’s why I told you to calculate it properly and fire. Calculate the explosive force. We’ve done this once before. Use that data.”

Beep-beep, beep-beep—

The sound of Ellie’s circuits whirring was loud. The android was frantically calculating the missile’s trajectory and speed.

The time between them dwindled to 2 minutes. The communication signal came again.

[Stop while you still can. I know you’re out of energy.]

“I don’t even have the energy to stop, bitch.”

[You’re going to get the beating of your life when I catch you. …Fuck, if it wasn’t for the money, you’d be dead already.]

“Yeah, I’m worth a lot. You won’t be able to hit me. I’m so fragile, I’ll die if you hit me even once.”

[You son of a bitch, just wait.]

The steadily decreasing time soon reached 1 minute. Karl yelled at Ellie to fire.

Whoosh—

The missile launched forward. It flew for about 20 seconds and then exploded.

—!!!!

The explosive power was tremendous. It instantly engulfed the ship. The spaceship began to shake violently. Loud, jarring warning alarms assaulted his ears.

“This, fuuuuuck…!”

Karl squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the vibrations to stop. Soon, the shaking stopped. He opened his eyes again.

Wheeze, wheeze—

Warning alarms were going off everywhere, indicating damage. There were even holes. The passageways to those areas were quickly sealed.

Ellie reported that she had successfully reduced their speed. However, their forward momentum wasn’t completely gone. Still, it was a significant enough change to disorient their pursuer. Their direction had also shifted.

Please, please—

Karl prayed to a nonexistent god. That the other ship wouldn’t have enough energy to continue the chase—.

But the other ship stubbornly adjusted its course and continued to pursue his spaceship.

It’s over.

It was a good attempt, but the other ship apparently had more energy left than he’d anticipated. In the end, he was caught. The bounty hunter’s spaceship approached close enough to be visible, then maintained its speed. The communication signal came again.

[I’m sending my men over. Surrender peacefully. If we lose contact with them, I’m really going to shoot you, so it’s best not to cause any trouble.]

“…Alright.”

There was nothing more he could do. Karl gave up and decided to surrender. Ellie asked if he was really going to be caught.

“Well, should I pretend to be caught?”

“Then what about me?”

“You’ll be caught too.”

“I don’t want to die yet.”

“Who’s going to kill a household robot? They’ll just work you to the bone.”

“That’s a relief.”

Even a clunker android was expensive. Those money-grubbers would surely be delighted.

Soon, a teleportation signal came. Two unidentified objects. Karl accepted.

Two men carrying guns materialized in the teleportation room. They had fierce faces, typical of bounty hunters. Knife scars, easily removable with surgery, were etched neatly on their faces.

“Hey, hands up. Try anything funny and you’re dead, got it?”

The bald man with the red face barked menacingly. Karl raised his hands and approached him. He had an expression of resignation.

“You little shit, you put us through hell, you son of a bitch.”

“Hey, take it easy. You know my ransom is huge, right? One scratch is a building, you got that?!”

While Red Head and Karl bickered, the bulky companion spotted the android Ellie.

“Boss, there’s an android here too.”

[Then bring it, of course. That’s worth way more than him.]

“But it’s a piece of junk?”

[Then it’s even more expensive. You know how many people are looking for old models?]

“Alright.”

Once Red Head had finished tying up Karl, his bulky companion smacked Ellie on the head.

Zzzt—

Noise flickered across her face screen.

“Hey, you’re coming too.”

“Yes, yes…! I’ll follow.”

The man’s eyes scanned Ellie’s body. Her voice and body were feminine. He gave Karl a lewd grin.

“What’s it like fucking an android?”

“Would it be nice to fuck metal?”

“There are guys who like fucking machines.”

“I, I can do it well—!”

Ellie suddenly displayed a pornographic scene on her screen. Ahh, ahh—It was the one Karl enjoyed. Red Head chuckled.

“In this situation? Just enjoy it on the screen. You gotta go VR. There are tons of hot babes there, you know?”

“Yeah, for losers who can’t get it in real life.”

“This, son, son of a bitch…!”

“Hit me. Hit me. Go on, one hit is a building. Hit me if you dare.”

“This son of a bitch.”

Red Head trembled with rage, but ultimately lowered his fist. Karl continued to smirk. They both managed to restrain themselves, thinking of the money.

The three men and one android were transported to the bounty hunter’s spaceship. There, a woman aiming a gun and the female boss stood waiting.

“What the… he’s really handsome.”

The screen earlier had been so shaky that she couldn’t see what he looked like. Karl, in person, was incredibly good-looking. Enough to make a woman’s heart flutter.

“Yeah, sorry, but I’m not giving it to you.”

“Shut your mouth before I rip you a new one.”

At the boss’s warning, Karl quickly closed his mouth. It seemed wise to shut up.

She nodded to her subordinates. Karl was tied up and thrown in a cell.

“What should we do with the android?”

“Turn it off and stick it in the storage room.”

“Oh, I, I can work well—!”

“It’s a household model, but it’s still an android. We could get in trouble. Turn it off, quick.”

Red Head turned off Ellie’s power. Her head slumped forward. The boss looked at Karl with a meaningful smile.

Fuck—.

Karl pretended to be indifferent, but inside, he felt a pang. His attempt to use Ellie for a counterattack seemed to have failed.

“What about the energy?”

“A little under 3%.”

“Fuck, that bastard almost got us killed.”

The spaceship slowly changed direction. Space jumping was out of the question with that little energy.

“Is there a high-temperature star nearby?”

“At least three days away.”

“Fuuuuuck.”

The boss kicked a foothold in frustration. Her subordinates, despite their size, flinched, knowing her temper.

“Head there for now. Just in case, conserve energy. No asteroid fields nearby, right?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Activate autopilot.”

“Activated.”

“Fuuuuuck…, it’s over.”

The boss threw her arms up in the air. Her subordinates chuckled. She shouted triumphantly.

“We’re rich, bitches—!!”

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇