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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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To be honest, when Yor’s identity as a Carrier was revealed, I’d felt a twinge of disappointment.
A secret shared by a select few had been exposed to the world. Of course, it was a matter of life and death for him, but it also meant the loss of something special, something shared.
It might have been selfish, but emotions and logic didn’t always align.
I’d idly wished for another secret, something to connect us. And now, I had another chance to learn something hidden about him.
But… unlike what I’d imagined, I didn’t feel happy. A heavy feeling of unease pressed down on me. This wasn’t the kind of secret I’d wanted.
“Ugh… nnngh…”
I narrowed my eyes, watching the scene unfold before me.
It was 19+ mode, alright. But not in the way I’d imagined.
A man, who had previously shrugged off being impaled, was now writhing in agony. The sight made even me, someone desensitized to violence after countless level-ups, cringe.
Whenever a part of his body convulsed, Yor would stab it without hesitation with a dagger. Blood would spurt out, thrashing on the ground before going still.
I quickly understood what he was doing. He was releasing the uncontrolled blood from his body. If left unchecked, it would damage his bones and organs.
But the process looked excruciating. The only small mercy was that the pain seemed to come in waves.
After each bloodletting, he would have a moment to catch his breath. Those brief respites were the only times I could talk to him.
“…It’s called Berserk. Carriers experience it once a month.”
Haa, haa.
Yor leaned against the cave wall, gasping for air. Sweat drenched his forehead, even though it hadn’t been long.
“It causes… various side effects.”
“…Wait, once a month? Since when?”
“Hmm… since I was around ten, I think.”
I looked around the gruesome cave again. I was starting to understand how it had ended up like this. He had done this to himself. Not just today, but for months, for years.
He had endured this pain countless times.
That realization made the scene even more impactful. The weight of all those years, all those agonizing nights spent alone in this cave, made my breath catch in my throat.
Even if it was just a game, this was… too much.
I asked him, my voice laced with concern,
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, it’s okay… Just being here is enough.”
He was telling the truth. Just having someone nearby was a comfort to him. I didn’t need to do anything. Just being there, showing concern, was enough.
Besides, there wasn’t much I could do.
I felt a pang of helplessness.
Regardless of my feelings, the Berserk episode continued. Another part of his body convulsed, and he stabbed himself again without hesitation, his face contorting in pain.
After another round of bloodletting, he let out a strained chuckle.
“Heh heh, it’s kind of similar, right? You girls have your monthly periods too.”
“Are you seriously making jokes right now?”
I frowned, not at the joke itself, but at his attempt to lighten the mood while he was clearly in agony.
Why was he even thinking about me right now? He was barely holding on himself.
But Yor just chuckled, not out of amusement, but to break the tense atmosphere. I was momentarily awestruck.
‘He’s… really strong.’
Not just physically, but mentally, too. He’d been enduring this every month for years. I doubted I could have lasted even a fraction of that time.
I looked at him with a mixture of pity and admiration.
Time passed.
The night slowly wore on…
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“Phew…”
Hours later, as I started to reach my limit, I drank the holy water. It was my last bottle, so it was a bit of a waste, but I couldn’t keep mutilating myself in front of a guest.
Even if I wasn’t the one suffering directly, watching my self-harm show must have been mentally taxing for her. So, for both our sakes, it was the right choice.
Having someone nearby seemed to help. I was able to endure this episode with a clearer mind than usual. Normally, I’d be writhing on the ground in pain by now.
As I was catching my breath, Chae-rin muttered,
“Ah, so that’s why you kept asking for holy water…”
She finally understood my previous requests. She seemed to be thinking about something before asking,
“So… if you don’t have holy water, you have to go through this every month?”
“No, not every month like this. There are two types of Berserk. It’s easier sometimes.”
I briefly explained that the other type affected the mind. It felt like admitting to having a mental illness. Well, a monthly mental illness that didn’t affect my daily life.
She asked again,
“Then how do you usually endure the other type?”
“I usually wander around outside until morning… yeah, that’s about it.”
I sometimes dealt with the heightened libido by… well, let’s just say I took care of myself in the cave. I wasn’t going to explain that in detail. I had some shame left.
Fortunately, she didn’t press further. And with that, I’d made it through another month. I had another month of respite.
As the tension eased, exhaustion washed over me. I sat up and looked at myself, a wry smile appearing on my face.
‘I’m covered in blood…’
Well, that was to be expected after all that bloodletting. I wanted to take a bath and sleep. Cleaning the cave could wait. I was too tired, and cleaning up the bloodstains took time.
There would be some lingering stains, but I’d reached a level where they were barely noticeable.
I stood up, intending to wash myself in the small pool of water in the center of the cave.
Chae-rin was still looking distraught. Like she would burst into tears if I touched her. I felt a pang of guilt.
I was the one who’d asked her to stay, after all, because I was afraid of being alone.
But I didn’t regret it. Now that the cave’s location was exposed, I needed someone to watch my back.
“…”
I wanted her to stay and keep watch while I slept, but… I decided to send her home. I’d used holy water, so I still had some mental fortitude left. I could handle any intruders if they showed up.
So, I put on a cheerful facade and patted her back.
Slap!
“Ow!”
She flinched in surprise and looked at me.
“Come on, stop being so glum. Thanks for staying with me tonight. You must be tired. You can go home now.”
I sent her on her way. Her expression was still somber.
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As she emerged from the cave, the sky was tinged with a purplish hue. Late dawn. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but it would soon.
She looked at the hazy sky and smiled wryly.
‘I guess I’m not sleeping tonight…’
She had unexpectedly pulled an all-nighter. And she probably wouldn’t be able to nap later, either. The scene she’d witnessed was too disturbing.
Even Yor, who always seemed so strong, had a vulnerable side.
And it was far heavier than she’d imagined. It wasn’t just the Berserk episode that shocked her. The dark, desolate atmosphere of the cave was unsettling. If she extinguished the light, she would be plunged into complete darkness.
The thought of Yor enduring that pain alone in the dark filled her with worry.
‘Well… he seems to have managed so far.’
But after what she’d seen, she couldn’t help but be concerned.
“…”
She opened her skill window. There was a skill she wanted to learn.
The skill system in [Demon’s Saga] was similar to other games. Leveling up granted skill points, which could be used to learn skills.
The only difference was that the skills were incredibly expensive. And they could also be learned through training.
Take ‘Sword Qi,’ for example, a skill coveted by many players. It cost a whopping 160 skill points. Which meant you had to reach at least level 160 to learn it. It was practically forcing players to learn it through training.
Anyway, the point was simple.
Chae-rin had a skill she wanted to learn. Her gaze focused on a specific skill in the corner of the window, a skill that was still locked.
‘Night Vision.’
The ability was simple, see clearly in the dark.
Her reason for wanting it was also simple, to navigate the dangerous forest at night. She’d ignored it before, deeming it useless and not wanting to waste skill points, but now she had a reason.
‘…I should visit him at night more often.’
She didn’t have enough skill points yet.
Determination filled her eyes as she left the forest. She would level up faster.
Time passed.
The short winter ended, and the seasons began to change once more.
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