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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Simzy
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I dropped out of middle school when I was fifteen.
And just holed myself up in my room.
I became what they call a hikikomori(a reclusive loner).
Back then, I was someone who enjoyed outdoor activities more than indoor ones, but surprisingly, the shut-in life suited me. It suited me so well that I stayed cooped up inside for five years straight.
Of course, it was incredibly difficult at first after I dropped out. I couldn’t even sleep properly because of nightmares.
But time heals everything.
Maybe I was mentally stronger than I thought, or maybe I had exceptional resilience.
Unlike my expectations of suffering forever, I quickly recovered. While others were at school, I devoted myself to my hobbies, like playing games and watching internet broadcasts.
Perhaps because the shut-in life suited me so well,
I didn’t go back to school even when I turned seventeen.
“What’s the point of going to school? The GED is a piece of cake.”
I passed the middle school GED at sixteen and played to my heart’s content.
Then I passed the high school GED at eighteen and lazed around some more.
And now, on January 1st, having just turned nineteen,
I was caught in the biggest dilemma of my life.
“Do… I have to go to college?”
If it were up to me, I’d want to continue enjoying this shut-in life. In this age of advanced internet, there are so many things to enjoy without ever having to step outside.
Novels. Manga. Anime. Dramas. Movies. Games.
Even just enjoying my hobbies wasn’t enough to fill twenty-four hours a day. With platforms where you can even do personal broadcasting, there’s no end to the content.
But on top of all this, I have to go to school too?
Then when will I have time for my hobbies?
“…But I guess I have to go, right?”
Actually, I know.
That I can’t keep living like this forever.
Next year, I’ll be twenty.
An adult who has to take responsibility for myself.
Of course, unlike the old days, there are cases where people receive support from their parents even past thirty, but even then, you need to be preparing for the future to some extent. Not like me, just holed up in my room.
I suddenly lifted my head and looked around.
A bookshelf filled with hundreds of light novels and manga.
A display case lined with dozens of figurines.
Walls plastered with various posters and scrolls of beautiful anime girls.
The typical otaku room came into view.
The only saving grace is that I’m fairly tidy, so it’s at least clean.
I got up from my seat, pushed aside my dakimakura, and stood in front of the full-length mirror for the first time in a long while.
“Oh…”
My appearance, no, I should call it my state. Looking closely at my state, I couldn’t help but sigh. Not because I was handsome, of course.
Long, tangled hair.
A body that seemed to have doubled in size compared to four years ago.
Excessively pale skin from lack of sunlight.
Everything was an element of unattractiveness.
Even my white, blemish-free skin became a flaw rather than an asset because of my overall state. I looked like a pale pig, so to speak. I felt like I might even smell fishy.
How can I, just stay cooped up like this?
If I go outside looking like this, I’ll only be met with looks of disgust.
That thought crossed my mind for a moment, but I shook my head.
If I keep this up, I’ll become what they call a “kangaroo kid.”
I’ll live a pathetic life, leeching off my parents even into middle age.
“Sigh.”
A sigh escaped my lips at the easily imaginable future.
“I really have to go to college.”
I can’t stay like this when the future is so clear.
I can’t keep leeching off my parents into middle age, can I? I’m not that much of a fire hazard.
“Honestly, I want to make friends, and there are things I want to learn in college.”
The more I thought about it, the more reasons I found to go to college.
Alright, if I’ve made up my mind, I need to act.
I immediately opened the door and went to find my mother.
“Mom, I need your card so I can take some online classes. I’m planning to go to college next year.”
As soon as I said that,
“Sob…!”
My mother burst into tears like a child.
Why is she crying…?
My mother must have been very worried. I never thought she would cry like that.
Of course, my decision not to go to high school and take the GED instead was made with my parents’ agreement. I had also told them not to worry, that it wasn’t because of any trauma. It was simply because homeschooling suited me better than going to school, and I was actually seeing results.
So, I really didn’t expect my mother to sob like this. Of course, I knew she would be somewhat worried… but I didn’t know it would be to this extent.
Even though I didn’t leave the house, I talked and laughed with my parents inside, like normal. There probably aren’t many children who communicate with their parents as comfortably as I do. I thought I had earned their trust, fulfilling my role as a son and even a daughter.
But that wasn’t the case.
“You’ve been holding it in all this time.”
My mother had been careful not to burden me, not to make me feel bad. She had been waiting for me to come around on my own.
It wasn’t just my mother. My father was the same.
The day I told him I wanted to go to college, he said,
“You don’t have to do everything at once. It’s okay to be slow, just take it one step at a time.”
My father spoke with a serious expression, his words carrying weight.
He told me to tell him if I needed anything. He would support me in any way he could.
I could see the uncontrollable pride and relief in his eyes.
“It’s not like that…”
I felt so embarrassed and sorry.
It was really just that the shut-in life suited me, that’s why I didn’t go to school.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell them the truth, so I just nodded. Thinking that since things had turned out this way, I needed to be a good son to make up for all the worry I’d caused.
“Should I exercise too?”
Since they’re going to support me anyway, I should sign up for personal training and lose some weight.
That day, I immediately searched for a reputable gym and went there.
And after three days, I ran away.
Ah, I almost had a trauma relapse…
Sprouts grew, flowers bloomed, and leaves fell.
Time flew by.
During that time, I studied hard for the CSAT (Su-neung, College Scholastic Ability Test) and exercised at the same time. Ah, I didn’t go to the gym. I rode a stationary bike at home while watching YouTube and did home training.
A man of action, the Korean man of steel, Kang Cheol-jin.
Slowly but steadily, I lost weight. Before I knew it, my weight, which had exceeded 130kg, dropped to 110kg. I had lost 2kg per month.
“Still a pig.”
I’ll have to exercise more intensely after the CSAT.
The CSAT in November was over.
After checking the estimated scores, I smacked my lips with an ambiguous expression. My mother was secretly watching me from the kitchen.
I scratched my head. No matter how I looked at it, my scores were borderline for getting into the universities I applied to.
“Tsk. Was one year not enough after all?”
Actually, it wasn’t even a full year. I started studying in January and took the CSAT in November, so I studied for about eleven months.
Didn’t I study for the GED before that?
I erased all memory of that the moment I passed. And besides, comparing the GED to the CSAT is absurd in the first place. The difficulty levels are different, different!
Then my mother carefully spoke.
“Cheol-jin, even if it doesn’t work out, don’t be too disappointed. Mom and Dad will help you in any way… Oh, I didn’t mean that you failed…!”
My mother covered her mouth, looking apologetic. She seemed sorry for mentioning the word “failed” in front of a student who just took the CSAT. She doesn’t have to be so careful around me.
I forced a smile.
“Hey, it’s okay to say it. I don’t believe in superstitions.”
“Still, I’m sorry…”
“I haven’t actually failed yet. It’s a bit ambiguous, but I might get in through the waiting list.”
“R-right. Our son will definitely get in!”
I smiled brightly and nodded, but it really was ambiguous.
Ah, I don’t want to retake the exam, but what should I do? I tried to change for the better, so it would be a bit discouraging to be set back like this.
And then, in mid-February,
After receiving a phone call, I raised both arms high in the air.
“Yes! Mom, I got accepted! College is doomed! Here I come!”
“Son, congratulations!”
I hugged my mother and spun around the living room.
Later, my father, after hearing the news, came home with chicken, pizza, and jokbal. Oh my, how did he carry all of that by himself?
“Oh, I’ll gain weight if I eat all of this…”
I wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth as I spoke, and my mother laughed.
“It’s okay for just one day, right? Our son has lost a lot of weight.”
“That’s true, but… I still weigh over a hundred kilos.”
“Hey, you’re tall, so it’s okay.”
“Yeah, you’re perfectly sturdy now, so what’s there to worry about? Let’s eat.”
When my father said that too, I pretended to give in and picked up a chicken leg, feigning reluctance.
Yeah, I still have a lot of weight to lose, but it’s okay for just today. As my mother said, I’m also quite tall.
I didn’t realize it, but I’m 180cm tall. Until middle school, I always sat in the front row at school, but it seems I had a late growth spurt. Is height genetic after all? I’m glad I take after my father.
“Mmm! Umai! Dad, you bought this from a great place!”
“Ahem. This place changes their oil frequently.”
“Ooh, as expected, as expected.”
“Son, eat a lot. Like I said, you look just right now.”
“Yes! I’ll only eat today, and starting tomorrow, it’s back to the hellish diet. So, Mom, please don’t make the food too delicious.”
My mother smiled brightly at my flattery.
Actually, it wasn’t empty praise. My mother is a fantastic cook.
Korean, Japanese, Western. She has three certificates.
My mother pretended to be disappointed that she couldn’t fully showcase her cooking skills.
“Oh dear, my son’s diet is making things too easy for me. You’re already handsome enough, so just eat.”
“Haha, then please prepare a feast for me before I move out. I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Anyway, take care of your health, son. And if you lose any more weight, you’ll be too handsome and have a hard time at college~.”
“Haha…”
I picked up a slice of pizza with an awkward laugh.
Even with my easy going nature, I can’t respond to that. Honestly, my mother has a bit of a mama bear complex.
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