My Platoon is Fucking Hopeless – Chapter 4

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Wjin
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I craved a cigarette.

I wasn’t a heavy smoker in my previous life, but… I used to smoke a cigarette or two when things got complicated, so my Chain Smoker trait, coupled with this crappy situation, began to create a terrible synergy.

‘Their stats are good, all decent.’

But why did each of them have additional penalties?

First, Sergeant Belle Meyer. She had excellent Endurance.

This meant she was very stable on the battlefield. Furthermore, Endurance was the hardest stat to raise.

The fact that it was clearly marked as excellent meant that, numerically, Belle Meyer was close to being a very good platoon member.

But look at her additional penalties.

Not only was there a chance she would lose a day’s worth of memories or fall into depression, but if her stress wasn’t managed, she would enter a state of mana outburst.

What good was high Endurance if she was a walking time bomb?

And what about Roxana Elim? She was a heart patient. There was no need to even check her stats.

I wasn’t an idiot who would enlist troops who could drop dead at any moment.

At least Sergeant Claude Rain’s situation was a little better.

No, let me correct that. He wasn’t just a little better. Sergeant Claude Rain was a talent I absolutely had to take with me. And for good reason.

His Combat Power was a whopping 90. Just one level below MAX.

‘As expected, a war hero is different.’

Sergeant Claude Rain’s background story was that of a veteran who had made great contributions in the past war against the barbarians.

Putting a war hero, a veteran at that, into a ‘useless’ platoon like this? At first, I didn’t understand, considering his outstanding stats, but… I soon realized the tragedy behind his past.

‘Demoted one rank for assaulting an officer.’

It wasn’t just insubordination, it was assault. Even if a war hero’s grandfather came, he wouldn’t be able to overlook this. Even in the game world, proper military law would be applied.

“To reach the rank of Sergeant Major at 31, they must have treated him well as a non-commissioned officer. I don’t understand why he committed insubordination.”

I couldn’t shake the feeling that Claude’s ‘Alcoholism’ trait might have played a part. See, alcohol was the root of all problems.

People should smoke like me instead. The Bible said not to get drunk, not that you shouldn’t smoke.

“Ugh, my headache is getting worse.”

It was karma. The karma of giving in to the allure of a new trait and recklessly adding terrible traits. Perhaps it was a small comfort that I hadn’t chosen the absolute worst traits.

Although only a few hours had passed since I, a shut-in gamer, woke up as a blonde-haired officer, I could already feel myself assimilating into this world.

Whether it was due to my adaptability or my experience in similar environments, I wasn’t sure.

That’s why this situation was even more frustrating.

“I should go outside and ask someone for a cigarette. There’s bound to be someone in the military who smokes.”

Since cigarettes were among the luxury and supply items in Hearts of General, there was a high chance they were supplied here as well.

As I left my room and headed towards the headquarters building filled with people, I was very pleased to spot what appeared to be a smoking area, an open space next to the building.

And there, gathered in a group, were three men. What they held between their fingers were definitely cigarettes!

‘I hope they’re lower in rank than me.’

But there was no need to worry. The people gathered in the open space weren’t non-commissioned officers or officers but ordinary soldiers.

Two with a single stripe. One with two. Probably a Private and a Private First Class.

I was an officer, after all. I couldn’t just shamelessly beg soldiers for a cigarette.

I casually approached them and tried to get their attention.

“So I grabbed that bitch’s ass!”

“Hahahaha!!”

“This bastard is crazy!”

“Ahem.”

“Ack!! Sh*t! You scared me!!”

As one of the excitedly chattering soldiers screamed and nearly fell backward, I lightly supported his waist.

“Be careful.”

“Wh, who ar…?”

The soldier’s slightly tilted gaze briefly landed on my epaulets, and then he straightened up stiffly, at attention.

“Glory to the Motherland!!!”

His sleeves flapped in the wind. If a Division Commander had seen that perfect salute, he would have immediately granted him leave.

Instead of clapping, I returned the salute with equal sharpness and said,

“Glory to the Motherland. You can finish your cigarettes.”

“It’s alright, sir!”

The other soldier, seemingly uncomfortable, quickly hid his cigarette behind his back. The only one who seemed relaxed was the Private First Class.

His name was Rex. He reeked of a seasoned senior soldier.

“Ah, you must be the Second Lieutenant newly assigned to the unit?”

“Yes, I’m Enoch Levandal.”

“Can I call you Second Lieutenant Enoch?”

“Of course.”

I readily accepted Rex’s question. After the highest-ranking officer, the first people a new Second Lieutenant should get on their side were the soldiers.

That way, it was easier to manage them later. It also prevented unnecessary complaints.

Now that the introductions were over, it was time to get down to business.

“By the way, Private First Class.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Could you lend me a cigarette?”

Nicotine.

Give me nicotine!!

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The Private First Class looked momentarily stunned, then pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and handed it to me. Flick! With a familiar, crisp sound, the cigarette lit up.

“Inhale… Exhale.”

The white smoke filled my lungs, calming my mind and body. Ah, finally, I could breathe. The suffocating stress seemed to melt away.

The Chain Smoker trait, if used well, was actually convenient for stress management. When under extreme stress, smoking a cigarette provided a significantly higher level of satisfaction than for an average person.

Of course, it also increased the chance of developing respiratory illnesses, and when I couldn’t smoke, my stress doubled… but who knew?

I would only know when the time came.

For now, stress management was more important than health.

Seriously, this was only with three mental traits. What would have happened if I had added a few more penalties to the mental traits? The thought alone sent chills down my spine.

“Second Lieutenant?”

As I savored the taste of the much-needed smoke, a sweet voice came from behind. I turned to see silver hair. It was Lumia Blyue, my platoon member.

“Sergeant Lumia.”

“…You’re a smoker?”

“Yes, I haven’t received my cigarette ration yet since I just arrived.”

“If you had told me, I would have brought you a pack.”

Lumia glanced back and forth between me and Rex, then frowned slightly, as if displeased. Whatever it was, I could tell she strongly disliked Rex.

“The Company Commander is looking for you.”

“Ah.”

I took one last deep drag, flicked the butt, and tossed it into the empty can used as an ashtray.

A clean shot.

“Thank you, Private First Class¹. You saved my life.”

I expressed my gratitude to Private First Class Rex for lending me a cigarette. He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and nodded lightly in response.

“Then I’ll see you later, Second Lieutenant.”

…??

What was that? It felt strangely unpleasant.

There were cases where soldiers looked down on newly assigned Second Lieutenants, but Rex’s gaze was like he had found an interesting toy.

Was it directed at me? Or Lumia? Perhaps both.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t an appropriate attitude towards a superior officer. Just as I was about to say something…

“Second Lieutenant, this way.”

As if she wanted to get away as quickly as possible, Lumia pulled on my sleeve.

‘That’s quite blatant. Did something happen between the two of them?’

I had a hunch that Private First Class Rex, who had lent me the cigarette, wasn’t as good a soldier as I had initially thought.

Anyway, how long was she going to keep pulling?

I said to Sergeant Lumia, who was still holding onto my sleeve,

“Sergeant, I can walk on my own now.”

“Ah… huh?! I, I apologize.”

She quickly let go of my sleeve. She was clearly flustered.

“Did something happen between you and Private First Class Rex, Sergeant?”

At my direct question, Lumia flinched and stepped back. The look in her eyes, as if asking how I knew, was so ridiculous that I almost chuckled.

‘She’s someone whose emotions are written all over her face and actions.’

I liked her honesty, but Lumia’s face paled instantly.

“No, sir. I didn’t mean to disrespect you, Second Lieutenant…”

“Huh?”

“I apologize!”

Lumia bowed her head sharply at a 90-degree angle. What? I hadn’t done anything.

“Private First Class Rex is the worst among the soldiers. He relentlessly bullies not only those lower in rank than him, but even those of the same rank, and even officers if he thinks they’re beneath him.”

Lumia’s violet eyes trembled slightly. She was clearly anxious.

“He has a malicious personality, so it’s best if you don’t associate with him, Second Lieutenant.”

“Is Sergeant Lumia being harassed by that soldier?”

“Ah… that’s, not the case.”

Lumia trailed off, a sign of affirmation. Sergeant Lumia was a woman with an undeniably beautiful face and voice. When I first saw her profile, I even mistook her for a noble.

A fragrant and beautiful flower.

As such, it would attract many flies. Private First Class Rex was probably one of them.

Well, I didn’t have any intention of taking any special measures.

Personal relationships were something individuals had to resolve themselves, and it would be meddlesome to intervene without Lumia asking for help.

“Then it’s fine. Where is the Company Commander?”

“Ah…! He said he would be waiting at our platoon barracks. This way, please.”

As I casually dismissed the topic, Lumia quickly led me inside the headquarters building. A long, dark gray brick building.

The headquarters housed not only the platoon barracks but also the company headquarters, various staff offices, and the Battalion Commander’s office, all in one building.

The interior was quite antique. As expected of a Battalion Commander who loved decorating, everything from the wallpaper to the lighting created a neat and beautiful atmosphere.

If a building like this existed in 21st-century Korea, it would definitely be famous on social media as an aesthetic cafe, not military barracks.

“Where are the platoon barracks?”

“We have to go down to the basement. This way, please.”

The basement… To be assigned to the basement in such a grand building.

‘This platoon must be really disliked.’

There was no way all the platoon barracks were in the basement. Assigning my quarters to a separate building away from the beautiful headquarters building was probably for the same reason.

I decided to just give up. I would naturally leave this crappy unit after earning enough merits within a year. Getting worked up over the location of the barracks would only hinder my promotion.

‘In that sense, I need to make a good impression on the Company Commander I’m about to meet.’

Getting along and making a good impression were two different things. It would be better to approach him with a slightly less formal attitude than I had with the Battalion Commander, a mix of by-the-book and flexible.

From the perspective of a field commander, a subordinate with flexibility would be more convenient.

Although the Battalion Commander gave performance evaluations, it was entirely the Company Commander’s prerogative to recommend personnel.

For me, they were both rabbits I absolutely couldn’t let get away.

“Second Lieutenant Enoch, this is our platoon barracks.”

“…”

After descending about four flights of stairs, the basement was a complete contrast to the beautiful upper floors.

A dimly lit basement corridor, far from natural light. I would have believed it if it was a prison.

Wow, could the atmosphere really change this much with just one floor’s difference?

‘Maybe the reason the platoon members are all messed up is purely because of the environment?’

From a modern perspective, it was a plausible deduction, considering how severe it was. Perhaps seeing my expression darken, Lumia tried to put a positive spin on it.

“I, it might look like this, but it’s actually quite cozy, and we decorated it ourselves, so the interior is quite livable…”

“Out of the way!!”

At that moment, an unknown shout came from inside the barracks. It was followed by thumping footsteps. I reflexively pulled Lumia towards me.

Bang!

As expected, a ferocious-looking man burst out of the barracks, flinging the door open.

“Huh? Who’s this?”

A deep scar across his face and three V-shaped stripes on his epaulets. He was a non-commissioned officer, not an officer.

“A Second Lieutenant? Ah, you must be the… new Platoon Leader he was talking about?”

It was the war hero I had judged to be the most decent one in our platoon.

Sergeant Claude Rain.

“Ah, Enoch Levandal, the one assigned as Platoon Leader…”

“If you’re here for some interview or whatever, get lost. Don’t even bother looking for me.”

He cut me off abruptly and waved his hand dismissively.

Definitely.

He seemed like a more difficult man to deal with than I had anticipated.

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*PFC (Private First Class) is a military rank, primarily used in the U.S. Army and U.S. Marine Corps.