Madman in a Fantasy World – Chapter 7

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Vine
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[ Level Up! Check your status! ]

[ Level Up! Check your status! ]

[ Level Up! Check your status! ]

“Hahahahaha! This is a gold mine!”

This was an experience bonanza! I put all three stat points into Strength.

Three levels from clearing out one goblin lair?!

It made sense, considering the number of goblins, but…

“This is too easy!”

I almost wished for respawns.

I would gladly do this again and again.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t a game. There were no respawns. Monsters were born, but it wasn’t the same as respawning, and they didn’t reappear in the same location.

After a while, the goblin cries subsided.

“Well, that was a satisfying meal. Time to go.”

I just had to collect the ears and head back, but…

*Growl.*

“…I’m hungry.”

My stomach demanded sustenance.

I hadn’t eaten anything since reincarnating.

I had traveled to and from the forest and then fought a bunch of goblins without a single bite.

No wonder I was starving.

*Growl.*

I was ravenous.

As I sliced off goblin ears and put them into my inventory…

“…I wonder if these are edible.”

They were meat, after all.

Couldn’t I just grill them or something?

While goblin meat wasn’t mentioned in the novel, some monster meat was considered a delicacy.

“But what if I get food poisoning?”

They didn’t look very appetizing, and the hygiene was questionable. I wished I had someone to test it for me.

Kii… kieeek…

“Hmm?”

A faint whimper came from the back of the carnage.

I looked up and saw a goblin, barely alive, struggling to get up.

Perfect!

I stood up and walked towards it.

Kii, kieeek!!

The goblin scrambled backward in fear as I approached.

What’s wrong?

I must have looked terrifying.

But I wasn’t even covered in blood this time. I was clean. I didn’t understand its fear.

Anyway, that’s not important right now.

I grabbed the goblin by the head and held a severed ear in front of its face.

“Here, try this.”

It wasn’t human, but it was a perfect test subject.

Kieeek!!!

The goblin thrashed and shrieked.

“Tsk tsk. Such bad table manners.”

As the saying goes, spare the rod, spoil the child.

I administered the appropriate discipline.

Whack!

Kieeek!

One punch to the head, and it quieted down.

It looked like it was about to die, but it was still alive, so it was fine.

“Here. Have a bite. Try it, try it.”

“It’s a healthy tonic. I prepared it just for you.”

I channeled my inner parent.

The goblin refused to eat, so I shoved the ear into its mouth.

Blech!

It immediately vomited.

“Ew.”

Guess it didn’t taste good.

This proved that goblin ears were not fit for consumption.

“Feeling unwell? Just hang in there. I’ll send you to your friends soon.”

I drew my sword. The goblin offered no resistance.

I swiftly decapitated it.

“Phew, that was exhausting.”

All I did was walk around, scatter caltrops, and dance. But people always said playing was tiring.

It was the same principle.

I collected the caltrops and counted the goblin ears in my inventory.

“Nineteen.”

I had killed ten goblins.

Two ears per goblin meant twenty, minus the one I fed to the test subject, equaled nineteen.

If each goblin ear was worth one copper coin, as I recalled…

“Nineteen copper coins should last me until tomorrow.”

I wasn’t sure about the market prices.

“Whatever. If it’s not enough, I’ll just sleep on the streets.”

Or sneak back into the academy dorm.

I had leveled up and earned some money.

Feeling satisfied, I turned to head back to the guild.

Then…

“Which way was it again?”

Was this forest cursed or something?

I kept getting lost!

I was glad I was a reasonable person.

If I had anger issues, I would have burned this forest to the ground.

“Sigh. It’ll be dinner time by the time I get back.”

I took a step forward, and…

Kyaaaak!

A scream echoed through the forest.

A person?

What was a person doing out here?

But then again, I was here too.

I had been lost in this forest multiple times today.

It was hard not to get lost without a map or any discernible landmarks.

Everything looked the same.

On Earth, I would just use a map app.

The scream was a welcome sound!

“I should ask for directions~”

Whether it was an adventurer or a villager, they were bound to know their way around better than I did.

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“*Yawn…*”

A man standing near a carriage stretched and yawned.

“Hey, stay alert.”

“There’s no one around.”

“If we get caught, we’re screwed.”

“Our employer said this road is deserted. And if we do get caught, it’s his fault for giving us false information, not ours.”

Mercenaries.

People who could turn on their employers in an instant if it benefited them.

Unlike adventurers, mercenaries didn’t discriminate. They worked for anyone who paid them.

There was no mercenary guild.

They were simply people who answered the call of coin.

And they were quick to betray if it meant saving their own skin.

“Hehehe. True.”

The two mercenaries were hired to escort a carriage—a carriage with barred windows in the back.

They had been traveling since morning and had stopped in a secluded part of the forest to let the horses rest.

Despite the secluded location, the men remained vigilant.

This carriage was transporting slaves.

Monsters? The only monsters at the edge of the forest were goblins.

Unless a whole goblin horde attacked, these two could handle anything.

What they feared were other people.

Slavery was illegal in the empire.

Getting caught would mean a hefty bounty on their heads, and their employer’s.

That was why their employer had hired mercenaries instead of adventurers.

“It’s not just beastfolk, but humans too. Our employer is a real piece of work, isn’t he?”

“And we’re his accomplices.”

Their employer was a high-ranking noble, which explained how he could get away with this.

“Whatever. As long as we get paid.”

“Alright, let’s collect our bonus.”

One of the men approached the barred windows.

“Oh, you’re doing it now?”

“When else? We’ll be arriving soon.”

“Hehehe. Pick a pretty one for me too.”

The man opened the carriage door.

Inside, beautiful female slaves, dressed in fine clothes, huddled in the corner, trying to avoid his gaze.

“We can’t damage the merchandise, so no virgins. Hey, you, come here.”

He pointed at a woman cowering in the corner.

She trembled and pressed herself further into the corner.

“Come here when I call you, you bitch.”

He grabbed a fistful of her hair.

“Kyaaaak!!”

“I thought I was escorting people, not dolphins.”

The woman wanted to run, but the shackles on her wrists and ankles made it difficult even to walk.

“Please, help me!!!”

“Scream all you want. If anyone was going to help you, our employer wouldn’t have chosen this route.”

Thud!

“Oof!”

Someone shoved the man from behind. He landed on his backside and scrambled to his feet, turning around angrily.

“Hah, if it isn’t… well, if you’re that eager, I’ll start with you.”

He threw the woman back into the cage and grabbed the hair of the person who had pushed him.

“Ugh!”

The person he grabbed had pointed ears and a dark blue tail.

“I’ve always wondered what beastfolk taste like. Time to satisfy my curiosity.”

“You bastard. I’ll kill you.”

“Empty threats don’t scare me.”

He placed his hand on the beastfolk woman’s hip.

“Oh, nice.”

“Mmm…”

“You! What are you doing?!”

Just as he was about to have some fun, a commotion behind him made him turn around irritably.

A man with black hair and red eyes stood there.

“Excuse me, do you know the way back to the capital?”

“I don’t know where you came from, but you’re not leaving here alive.”

“I’m asking for directions.”

“Die!!!”

His partner had already drawn his weapon.

The first man, assuming his partner could handle it, turned his attention back to the beastfolk woman.

“Gah!”

A familiar cry came from behind him. He whipped around.

The black-haired man stood there.

“Excuse me, do you know the way back to the capital?”

Behind him, his partner’s headless corpse lay on the ground.

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What was wrong with these people? I asked for directions, and they tried to kill me.

Talk about anger management issues.

I had accidentally killed one, but I felt no remorse.

It was self-defense.

Self-preservation was everyone’s priority.

If he had attacked with his fists, I would have just messed up his face.

But he drew a sword, so I had no choice.

One down, one to go.

I walked towards the remaining mercenary and stopped right in front of him.

“Excuse me, do you know the way back to the capital?”

How hard was it to give directions?

The mercenary’s hand instinctively went to his sword, just like his dead companion. I frowned.

“You guys have no manners! I’m lost! Aren’t you supposed to help people?!”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

He swung his sword.

“Are you twins? Same attack pattern?”

He looked different, but he fought exactly like the other mercenary.

I dodged easily.

I could just kill him, but…

“This is really pissing me off.”

Wham!

My fist connected with his face.

He landed on his butt and looked up at me.

“I’m already annoyed from getting lost in this damn forest. And now I have to deal with rude people?”

“P-please, spare me! I’ll give you all my money!”

“All your money?”

“Yes!”

Oh… I thought he was just a thug, but…

He was a golden goblin!

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