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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Vine
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After dinner, they returned to the inn, exhausted.
“Ahh, I’m stuffed.”
He hadn’t earned any money today, only spent it.
He had bought stakes and rope, but hadn’t used them. He had paid for the carriage ride to and from the uneven plains, and he had paid the blacksmith for the sword.
There was no reward, since it wasn’t a quest.
No wonder people avoided Rhino Horns.
Luckily, the money he had taken from the adventurers at the restaurant was enough to last him a week, so he could relax for a bit.
He was lying in bed, wondering what to do until he could pick up his sword, when Luna approached him.
“Luke.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re being followed.”
Followed?
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. At first, I heard footsteps behind us, then on the roof. The last time I heard them, they were on the roof of this inn.”
Why hadn’t she said anything sooner?
This wasn’t just following; it was stalking.
He had never understood the difference between the two.
“Hmm… I haven’t done anything to warrant being followed.”
Who would follow someone as honest and law-abiding as him?
Wait…
“Is it an assassin sent by a secret admirer?!”
If I can’t have you, no one can! Was that it?
The world was a scary place.
“I think you’ve made quite a few enemies…”
“Luna, adding ‘-nim’ to my name doesn’t make it okay to talk back.”
She was more like a friend who used honorifics than a slave.
“So, we don’t know why we’re being followed.”
He rolled around on the bed.
Luna raised her hand as if taking an oath.
“…It might be because of me.”
“And you’re just telling me this now?”
“Aren’t you curious why…?”
“Nope.”
Why did he need a reason?
He should be thanking them.
They were practically delivering themselves to him for free experience points!
He had confirmed that killing people gave him experience. He wasn’t going to go on a killing spree, since it was less efficient than hunting monsters, but he wasn’t going to turn down free experience either.
“So, what are you going to do?”
He grinned.
“What do you think I’m going to do, Luna? Guess.”
“…You’re going to lure them out.”
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And so, he lured them out.
Or rather, he waited.
If they were here to kill him, they’d come to him eventually.
He placed two pillows under the covers to make it look like he was sleeping and hid in a blind spot.
As darkness fell…
They’re here.
Just as Luna had said, three shadowy figures slipped through the window.
They stabbed the lump under the covers, which was actually just pillows.
They look like clowns.
The assassins, realizing something was wrong, looked confused.
He stepped forward and covered the eyes of the nearest assassin.
“Guess who~”
A harmless prank between friends.
But between strangers?
“W-who are you?!”
That was the expected reaction.
They were the ones who came to him. Why were they asking who he was?
“The answer is… a stranger~”
Crack.
He snapped the assassin’s neck.
The other two tried to attack, but the dead assassin’s body was in the way.
“That was too easy.”
“You’re the weird one, Luke.”
Luna, who had been hiding on the ceiling, had silently slit the throat of the farthest assassin.
One left.
He was trapped. Luke in front, Luna behind. There was no escape.
Cornered prey fought back.
The assassin lunged at Luke.
“Seriously?”
A rogue challenging a warrior?
He should have assessed the situation before attacking. This was why rogues died so quickly.
The assassin thrust his dagger at Luke.
It was fast, but Luke had fought much faster monsters.
Daggers had short reach. He just had to step back.
“Take this! A man’s weakness!”
A groin kick.
He kicked the assassin in the balls.
“…!”
“Why attack anywhere else when there’s such an obvious weak spot?”
A man’s weakness was right there in plain sight. Why bother with anything else?
The assassin crumpled to the floor, clutching his groin.
He could just kill him for the experience, but it was more efficient to keep one alive for interrogation.
He punched the assassin in the face.
“Who sent you?!”
Wham!
“Ugh!”
“Who sent you?!”
Wham!
“S-stop!”
“Who sent you?!”
Wham!
“…”
“Who sent you?!”
Wham!
Actions speak louder than words.
He was communicating through his fists, when Luna gently grabbed his arm.
“Um… Luke…”
“Don’t stop me, Luna. Can’t you see we’re having a man-to-man talk?”
“He’s unconscious…”
He looked closer. The assassin’s eyes were closed, and he was lying in a relaxed position.
“Oh.”
He had passed out after just a few punches.
This was why rogues were useless.
“Tie him up, Luna.”
“Okay.”
He’d save the rest of the fun for later.
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“…Ugh…”
He opened his eyes.
White-painted wooden walls. A bed and a desk.
He felt stiff and uncomfortable, his limbs bound.
The memories of before he lost consciousness returned.
“…!”
He had come to assassinate someone and ended up captured.
He didn’t know how much time had passed, but the room was still dark. It couldn’t have been long.
He tried to move, to assess the situation and plan his escape, when…
“You’re awake~”
“…?!”
Luke’s upside-down face appeared above him.
He thrashed, but his body was bound tightly to a chair.
“Why are you being so fussy, darling~?”
Thwack!
“…!”
Luke punched him in the head, and he quieted down.
“Luna! He’s awake!”
Luna entered the room.
“…You kicked me out just for that?”
“Yeah. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were here when he woke up.”
“Torture won’t work! I won’t say anything!” the assassin yelled as Luke and Luna approached.
“What are you talking about?”
He was talking just fine.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to torture you.”
Torture was inflicting pain to extract a confession.
He wasn’t going to do anything like that. He just wanted to… have some fun.
“Hehehe.”
Luke pulled out a leather pouch from his belt.
“I was going to use this on Luna, but you came along just in time.”
“…What is it?”
“Mosquitoes.”
He had collected the mosquitoes from the carriage.
He had planned to release them on Luna while she slept as punishment for teasing him, but this assassin was a perfect substitute.
“You were going to use that on me…?”
Luna looked at him incredulously.
“I didn’t, did I? So it’s fine.”
Luke shrugged.
He held the pouch near the assassin’s ear.
“W-what are you doing?!”
“Luna, hold his head still.”
Luna grabbed the assassin’s head.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
The irritating sound of dozens of mosquitoes buzzing inside the pouch.
“I’m going to put these in your ear, one by one.”
“You’re crazy…!”
“Thanks for the compliment.”
He opened the pouch slightly and let a mosquito fly into the assassin’s ear.
Then, he pulled out some earplugs from his inventory and plugged the ear.
“…! Stop!!!!”
“I’ve only done one ear. Don’t be so impatient.”
He moved to the other ear and repeated the process.
Buzz. Buzz.
The buzzing echoed inside the assassin’s ears.
Trapped, the mosquitoes moved deeper, their movements amplified.
“Stoooooooooooooop!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Hehehe! Mosquito ASMR!”
Luke laughed heartily as the assassin writhed in agony.
Luna watched them, thinking…
…I’m not sure who the villain is anymore.
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Bro….
dear god
Hahaahahahahaha. Fuck i love this crazy bastar hahahahahaha
This is the kind of Mc you’re relieved to be allies with and terrified as enemies.
DEAR FUCKING GOD