Madman in a Fantasy World – Chapter 11

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Vine
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A meal earned through hard work is a special kind of satisfying. Anyone who has experienced the difference between mindlessly scrolling on their phone while eating takeout and savoring a meal after a long day’s work will understand.

Luke was no exception.

His stomach, rumbling since the goblin hunt, was finally about to be appeased.

His jaw worked tirelessly.

“Yummy!”

His first meal in this world was a tomahawk steak. A familiar sight, but unlike on Earth, where it was too expensive for him, here it was within reach.

Luke always saved the best for last. He devoured the vegetables first, clearing the way for the main event. He grasped the bone handle of the steak, ready to savor the moment.

There had been some commotion nearby, but it was of little concern to Luke.

The steak before him was too captivating to be distracted.

“Itadakimasu~”

Then…

Thwack.

Something struck his arm. The steak flew from his hand, suspended in mid-air as if in slow motion. Then…

Splat.

…it landed on the dusty floor.

Luna, sitting beside him, witnessed the tragedy unfold.

“Oh…”

She had tried to avoid the commotion, but it was too late.

The expression on Luke’s face just moments ago had been pure bliss. What would it be now?

She saw him kneeling on the floor beside the fallen steak, a look of utter devastation on his face.

“Oh… oh no…”

He slumped to the floor, groaning.

My… my steak…

The events leading up to this moment flashed before his eyes.

The goblins who sacrificed themselves so he could have a good meal.

The Golden Goblin who provided extra funds.

And now, his steak, lying cold and lifeless on the floor.

What had he done to deserve this cruelty?

Sniffle… sniffle…

“L-Luke?”

Luna was startled to see him crying.

Was it really that upsetting to drop a piece of food? Or was there some deeper meaning she was missing?

She couldn’t relate, so she just stammered awkwardly.

“You damn cheater!”

“You’re one to talk!”

Oblivious to the tragedy they had caused, the two adventurers continued their brawl.

Despite their short acquaintance, Luna felt a budding affection for Luke, her savior. She couldn’t just stand by and watch the men who had caused him such grief go unpunished.

“Damn it.”

She was about to cast a spell when a chilling voice came from below.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.”

Luke was spewing a torrent of curses.

Luna didn’t know him well, but having witnessed his ruthlessness with the mercenaries, she found his current state terrifying.

She could handle these two adventurers herself, but the chilling aura emanating from Luke made her take a step back.

Luke stood up and silently approached the brawlers from behind.

To Luna’s relief, he hadn’t drawn his sword.

He placed his hands on their heads.

“Manners…”

Slam!

He smashed the head of the adventurer on the left into the table.

“Y-you! Who are you?!”

The other adventurer was stunned, but…

“Maketh…”

Slam!

…he met the same fate.

“Man.”

Luke’s reason for not drawing his sword was simple.

You’ll suffer as much as my steak suffered.

His steak lay cold and dead, coated in dust, beyond the three-second rule.

Death would be too merciful.

He finally understood the sentiment he had often read in revenge stories.

“You have absolutely no table manners.”

He grabbed their hair and slammed their faces together.

“Oof!”

“Ugh!”

With a Strength stat of only 16, the impact only drew blood from their noses at first. But after repeated slams, their noses were clearly broken, and teeth began to fly.

“What do you think is the cruelest punishment for a man?”

He asked the two men in his grasp, but…

“Muh… muh…”

“Guh… guh…”

…they were in no condition to answer.

Luke pondered the question.

A kick to the groin was a classic, inflicting excruciating pain. But there was something worse.

“For those without mothers, the punishment shall be… hairlessness.”

Balding. A man’s life force and confidence resided in his hair.

The man in his left hand had luscious, naturally curly hair. It felt good in his grip.

The man in his right hand had short, sporty hair.

Practical and easy to manage, but soon, he wouldn’t need to manage it anymore. He should be thanking Luke.

“Luna, get me some fire.”

“W-what? Fire…?”

“Yeah, anything will do. As long as it burns.”

“Understood.”

Luna asked the server for fire.

“W-we have… matches…”

“And some oil, please.”

“We only have lamp oil…”

“Just bring it!”

“Y-yes!”

The terrified server rushed to the kitchen and returned with matches and a bottle of lamp oil.

“Here you go, Luke. Matches and oil.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Luna.”

“Thank you.”

Pop.

Luke opened the bottle and poured the oil over the men’s heads.

“P-please… spare us…”

“P-please…”

“Don’t worry, you won’t die.”

The empire was vast, and aggressive adventurers were common.

The authorities didn’t interfere in minor squabbles, as long as no one died.

“But I might reconsider if you apologize properly.”

Was this Luke’s final act of mercy?

Luna, having witnessed his rage, couldn’t understand why he was being lenient.

“Sowwy…”

“Pwease…”

The terrified men clung to Luke’s legs, slurring their apologies, but…

“Wronggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Slam!

Luke smashed their heads into the floor, in front of the fallen steak.

“You’re apologizing to the wrong victim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Couldn’t they see the cold, dead steak?

It was the steak that died, not him. Why were they apologizing to him?

These men were beyond redemption.

“Oh, God of Balding, forgive these sinners.”

I was an atheist, but there was no harm in praying when it suited you.

Whoosh.

He dropped the lit match onto their oiled hair.

Two Super Saiyans were born.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!”

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

Their whimpers turned into screams as they thrashed around, trying to put out the flames. They patted their heads, rolled on the floor, but…

“It’s no use!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Burn, baby, burn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Luke poured more oil onto their burning heads.

Luna, watching the spectacle, made a mental note never to cross Luke.

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“Hmm hmm~♪”

Luke hummed cheerfully beside her.

His previous rage had vanished.

He had gotten a free replacement meal.

The server had thanked him for stopping the fight and offered the meal as a token of gratitude, but Luna had seen the fear in her eyes.

The two men were alive, but their heads were scorched, not a single hair remaining.

Luke had looted their pockets, securing funds for a room at an inn.

He looked around the inn with childlike wonder.

“Welcome.”

“One room, please.”

Luna was startled.

“W-what?”

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing…”

Why waste money on two rooms?

That was Luke’s logic.

But Luna’s thoughts were different.

Ugh… my first time…

She was a slave, and he was her master.

A man and a woman alone in a room… especially a master and a slave… it was obvious what would happen.

Nightly service…

They went up to their room.

As Luna stood there, stiff with nervousness, Luke spoke.

“Goodnight.”

He then proceeded to fall asleep within a minute.

“…?”

Luna was dumbfounded.

He was actually sleeping?

Not pretending?

She went closer. He was breathing softly. He was really asleep.

She was relieved, yet strangely offended.

Even putting aside the species difference, she was an attractive woman. She had been taken as a slave because of her beauty. If she had been ugly, they would have killed her.

And Luna knew she was attractive, which made the situation even more insulting.

“…Goodnight.”

Her slightly sullen tone was her only way of expressing her displeasure.

Maybe he was gay.

With that thought, she crawled into bed beside him and closed her eyes.

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