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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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One thing I learned while spending time with Elsia:
Despite being the World Tree Communion representative, she was broke.
“Husband! Our goat is finally recovering! We need to give it some supplements!”
“You crazy bitch! You’re addicted to crypto!”
“Then I’ll prove I’m not addicted by investing more!”
This was an inevitable outcome.
“How are you going to pay for tomorrow’s meal, you pointy-eared bitch?!”
“Trust in your future self!”
“I bet your future self is yelling ‘Stay!!!’ somewhere right now.”
“I just got a message from the future!”
“…What did it say?”
“It said ‘Double down!’ Let’s go!”
She was constantly coming up with reasons to invest in crypto, it was a wonder she wasn’t living on the streets.
I felt a pang of sympathy.
Not for Elsia.
For my money, which was all tied up in her investments.
[Why did you entrust all that money to an elf?]
‘I was an idiot.’
Just then, I noticed her bodyguard elf standing behind her.
Maybe she had a solution to this financial crisis.
“At this rate, we’re going to starve to death before even meeting the World Tree! Is there any kind of financial support?”
“All the funds are tied up in… that.”
“Then, as her bodyguard, you’re at least responsible for Elsia’s meals, right?”
“…My money is also tied up in… that.”
There was no help to be found.
Every single pointy-eared bastard was flawed in some way. I was starting to get a headache.
“I’d lose less money raising a tiger at home! Damn elves!”
“Husband, we raise bears at our house.”
“Not a redneck elf, but a grizzly bear elf. Should I stand up in respect?”
[Was the voter turnout 140% when she was elected?]
She was obsessed with crypto.
It was a fanatical obsession.
“Elsia, why are you so fixated on this shitcoin?”
“Because it’ll go up! I’m sure of it!!!”
“Ha… Sure.”
[Is that an illness?]
‘She seems so certain, but I have no idea what she’s basing it on.’
Elsia just kept smiling and saying it would go up.
I had to let it go.
Hye-ji had already returned to the dorm.
She said she had something urgent to discuss with her father.
Jung Ah-yeon also left, saying she had to help her sister at the library.
Apparently, there had been frequent attempts to steal “Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint” from other dimensions, so she was going to help with security.
So, it was just Elsia, her bodyguard, and me heading to the cafeteria.
It wasn’t a big deal.
Except for the minor detail that I was the only one who could actually afford to pay for the meal.
Suddenly, we heard a roar in the distance.
“Mooooooooo!”
‘What? I thought we slaughtered all the pigs.’
[That doesn’t sound like a pig, dear. It sounds like a monster.]
We stopped and turned towards the sound.
We saw a large, rectangular object wrapped tightly in a black cloth.
A group of research students were struggling to push it on a cart, sweating profusely.
And a male professor, his head completely bald except for the sides, was supervising them.
[It seems they’re transporting a live monster.]
‘That’s not a professor, that’s a poacher.’
We approached them to get a better look, and we could hear their conversation.
“Hurry up and move it before anyone sees!”
“Professor, do we really have to bring an actual monster here?”
“If we don’t get any results this time, the lab will be shut down!”
“B-but are we allowed to bring a monster inside the academy? Did we get permission?”
So, they really did bring in a monster.
The research students looked hesitant, but the professor seemed unconcerned.
“We already got permission!!! Stop asking unnecessary questions!!”
“But why are we doing this? Wouldn’t it be faster to transport it with a vehicle?”
“That costs money! Are you going to pay for it?!”
“Y-yes sir! Understood! We’ll move it!”
[He’s obsessed with money. Making all these students work just to save a few drops of fuel.]
*‘He must be from miHoYo. They’re infamous for being greedy.’ *
[But at least they reinvest it into their games.]
While they might have received permission, it still didn’t seem right.
I spotted Professor Pil-yong walking by, so I stopped him and asked about it, but…
“Well… it’s not completely illegal. We got approval from several professors and some of the higher-ups.”
“For that?”
He dismissed my question.
“Did you also approve it, Professor?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Why would you approve something like that?”
“…Just because.”
He quickly avoided me, refusing to answer my question.
I checked the academy app, and there was an announcement about it, with a list of professors and staff who had approved it.
There was one thing in common among the names on the list: their profile pictures all showed varying degrees of baldness.
[…This one is starting to believe that the amount of hair on one’s head is inversely proportional to their conscience.]
‘Let’s consider it empirical knowledge.’
We quickly headed back to the cafeteria.
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A dark lab where not a single ray of light could penetrate.
A monster and two people occupied the space.
The faint glow from a dusty monitor was the only source of illumination.
A monster.
It was sleeping peacefully inside a cage, as if the commotion from earlier was just a bad dream.
Two research students.
They were forcing their heavy eyelids open with the help of caffeine and sugar.
A typical research student tactic.
The monster looked familiar.
It was a Minotaur, a creature commonly seen in myths, games, and novels.
A human upper body, the head and lower body of a bull, thick muscles covered in scars.
A pair of sharp, black horns, as if they had never been trimmed, protruded menacingly from its head.
It looked like a textbook Minotaur…
Except for the faint traces of a once-magnificent mane that had long since disappeared.
One of the research students spoke,
“Senior, why are we testing hair growth formula on a monster?”
“Because we tested it on a human last time and ended up covering him in fur.”
“The furry incident? Didn’t we also have that incident where someone lost all their hair?”
“You know about the Baldy Incident too. The higher-ups managed to cover it up, but we’re not allowed to conduct human trials for a while.”
“Then why a monster?”
“They said it’s the closest thing to a human form. How should I know what that bastard professor is thinking?”
They continued preparing the formula as they chatted.
Truly dedicated research students.
“Can’t we just test it on him? He’s also bald.”
“I’d fucking love to.”
“So what are we supposed to test on this one?”
“They said it’s a success if its mane grows back. Have you prepared all the injections?”
“Yes, three different solutions for sequential injection.”
“Then let’s begin. Record the time.”
The monster’s silver mane grew back rapidly.
The experiment was a success.
Excited by the results, the two research students celebrated by leaving work a bit early.
Three hours later.
They came back to work.
But they were happy.
They had managed to get an extra hour of sleep.
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The final exams consisted solely of practical tests.
No theory.
The objective was simple:
Defeat a randomly selected monster.
I was unlucky enough to be in the first group.
‘The first group always goes early, damn it.’
[Dear, just think of it as guard duty in the army.]
‘It’s more like being the first lab rat.’
The training grounds were already packed with people when I arrived.
Second-year students who had already finished their exams.
Third-year students with nothing better to do.
And a horde of first-year students waiting for their turn.
[That’s a lot of people.]
‘Noob fights are always entertaining.’
I entered the designated training ground.
I saw Hye-ji, Jung Ah-yeon, and Elsia outside the training ground and waved at them.
Monsters were pre-spawned in each training area.
And mine was no exception.
The monster before me was a Minotaur.
It was holding a giant double-headed axe, staring at me intently.
And it had a flowing silver mane.
It felt strangely lifelike.
‘Oh, the finals at least use real monsters.’
[They’ve implemented a proper monster instead of those glitching mobs that disappear when they rub against a wall.]
‘They said to start whenever I’m ready, and they’ll activate the system.’
I drew a hand axe and cautiously approached the Minotaur, observing it.
Its ragged breathing, the drool dripping from its mouth, the sharp horns, the silver mane that swayed with every breath…
And the numbers above its head.
‘…Numbers?’
[What’s wrong dear?]
By the time I noticed the oddity, I was already close to the Minotaur.
The number above its head increased.
And a shard appeared.
[Do simulators generate shards these days?!]
‘What the fuck?!’
We both stared at the shard, trying to figure out what it contained.
The future I saw was simple.
The Minotaur cleaved “me” in half and then proceeded to devour my corpse.
Before I could even process what I had just witnessed…
I was back in the present.
And I saw the Minotaur, his axe raised high above his head.
The veins on his arms were bulging as he prepared to strike.
[Something is not right!]
‘What the fuck?!’
As the axe descended, aiming for my head, I barely managed to dodge it.
The red number above the Minotaur’s head increased as the axe missed me.
The situation felt unreal.
But the few strands of hair that were severed by the axe as it whooshed past made it very real.
‘What the hell is going on?!’
[It’s not a fake…]
The others outside also seemed to sense that something was wrong.
As I was about to speak, a powerful electric field suddenly activated around my training grounds.
I saw two research students outside, frantically operating a device.
“Huff… huff… Senior, we contained it!”
“Good! Lower the electric field, quickly! We need to retrieve it!”
As the electric field started shrinking, I shouted,
“Damn it, stop! There’s someone inside!!!”
“What the fuck? What are you doing in there?!”
“What do you mean?! I’m taking the exam! What the hell is this?!”
“Th-that’s…”
The research student stammered, unable to answer.
Just then, a bald professor waddled towards us.
“Hey! What the hell did you do?! Why is it in there?!”
“The experiment was a success! Look at its mane!”
“Oh! Then there’s no problem!”
“There’s a huge fucking problem! I’m about to die, you bastards!”
They ignored my cries.
I continued shouting,
“You assholes! I’m about to die in here!”
“But it’s supposed to be asleep according to the formula! Why is it awake?!”
One of the research students, looking nervous, spoke,
“Um… I think I mistook ml for gallons…”
“So that’s why the monster isn’t asleep. It gained strength instead and broke out of the cage.”
“Yes, sir! I apologize!”
“Well, the results are surprisingly good, so it’s fine. Be more careful next time. Good work!”
“Th-thank you, sir!”
“Good work, my ass! I’m the one who’s suffering here!!!”
They were deaf to my cries.
It was incredibly frustrating.
“Now hurry up and lower the electric field and retrieve it!”
“I’m still in here!!! Listen to me!! You hairless bastard!!!!”
[Remove his head!!!!]
‘I’ll split it in half, you bastard.’
I threw the axe at the bald professor.
It narrowly missed him.
Whoosh!
“Wh-what was that?! Who did that?!”
“It was me, you bastard!!!”
I had cleanly shaved off one side of his sideburns.
The professors, finally realizing that something was wrong, started panicking.
“Professor! Didn’t you activate the training ground system for Shinwoo in Training Ground 3?!”
“Hold on! I’ll activate it now!”
That was a relief.
I wouldn’t die once the system was activated.
“It’s not working!”
“Stop messing around! It was working fine yesterday during the system check!”
“Someone spilled tteokbokki on it. The system is malfunctioning.”
Not a relief.
I’m screwed.
‘Spilling tteokbokki on the server should be enough to make you explode, damn it!’
[…If even the servers crash, the public will riot.]
The other professors were frantically questioning the one responsible for the incident.
“Professor, can we disable the device and subdue the monster?”
“I’ll ask them! Hey research students! Deactivate the device!”
The research student he addressed looked troubled.
It seemed like it wasn’t possible.
“Um… it’s a makeshift containment device. Someone inside needs to touch it to disable it.”
“Then find another way to turn it off!!!”
“It’ll turn off automatically in 15 minutes!”
“Is that supposed to be an answer?!”
“The controls are a bit complicated because we used disassembled generator parts!”
“What the hell does ‘a bit complicated’ even mean?!”
I ignored them, since their conversation wasn’t helpful.
I assessed the situation.
I couldn’t escape because of the electric field.
Two options:
Survive for 15 minutes. Or fry the monster with electricity.
It had a weapon.
And I had to fight it barehanded.
‘Frying it seems faster.’
[This one isn’t a fan of electrocuted meat, except for chicken.]
‘You’re right. Electrocuted dog sounds delicious.’
I looked at Hye-ji and Jung Ah-yeon. The numbers above their heads had also increased.
They were desperately trying to convince the professors to do something.
The red number above Elsia’s head went up, so this situation must have been unexpected.
[The red number increases whenever the current future deviates from the previous one.]
‘Not many people would remember this even if I stopped explaining it now.’
Hye-ji even started crying.
“Professor! You have to stop this! Shinwoo’s going to die!”
“Professor! I agree with Hye-ji! You have to stop this now!”
“She’s right! You have to do something!”
“I’m sorry. But we can’t do anything right now.”
A few other students started paying attention.
Those whose numbers had gone up were looking at me with pity.
Some, however, looked entertained.
And a few had even started recording.
[They’re trying to make a snuff film.]
*‘I’ll film one with those guys later. Just remember their faces.’ *
And then there were those bastards in the back, running an illegal gambling ring.
‘Those sons of bitches are betting on my death?!’
[Typical behavior for students at this shitty academy.]
“Professor! Those guys are gambling illegally over there!!”
“You bastards! Stop it right now! You’re not allowed to gamble during finals!”
*‘You should probably leave out the part where you want to gamble too, you bastard.’ *
[Well, the students are learning from their role models.]
While the professors were busy cracking down on the illegal gambling, the Minotaur, axe in hand, started pawing the ground with its hooves.
It was about to charge.
The number above its head went up, and a shard appeared.
In that future, the Minotaur charged at “me” and swung its axe horizontally.
“I” jumped to avoid the axe, but then got impaled on its horns.
[It seems like short-term futures are easier to avoid.]
‘The problem is that I can only see them when they regress.’
As soon as it returned to the present, the Minotaur charged and swung its axe, just like in the future vision.
I jumped to dodge it, and it thrust its horns upward, aiming to impale me.
It was a seamless sequence of movements.
As if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if it had already done it before.
But this time, things would be different.
I grabbed its horns, spun around, and landed behind it.
I then enhanced my right leg and kicked.
Thud!
Despite putting a decent amount of force into the kick, the Minotaur was barely pushed back.
It just tilted its head, the red number above its head increasing.
It seemed confused.
One of the research students, the one who was praised by the professor earlier, said excitedly,
“Ah! I adjusted the concentration, so the monster’s overall muscle density increased!”
“You should’ve told me that earlier, you bastard!”
[Doesn’t that make the meat tastier?]
‘Doesn’t that reduce the marbling and make it worse?’
The Minotaur regressed again.
This time, it charged with both horns aimed at me.
As “I” dodged to the right…
It suddenly dropped the axe with its left hand, grabbed “me,” and crushed “my” body.
[Even cow monsters can regress.]
*‘This is getting annoying.’ *
A wave of anger surged within me.
I couldn’t help but curse,
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
I dodged to the left this time as the Minotaur charged.
But it couldn’t grab me with its right hand.
Its right hand was gripping the axe too close to the blade, and the weight distribution prevented it from letting go.
The red number above its head went up, and I grew even angrier.
“Everyone but me.”
I enhanced my left hand and punched the Minotaur.
I aimed for the gap between its ribs.
As the Minotaur roared in pain, I quickly moved closer.
“Whether you’re a dog or a cow…”
I enhanced my right hand and punched it in the gut.
I almost lost control of the mana flow.
A few drops of blood splattered from my knuckles, a small price to pay.
I ignored the pain and tightened my fist, pushing it deeper.
THUD!!!
“…can…”
My fist sunk deep into its abdomen, ignoring its abs.
Its body lifted slightly off the ground, then it was sent flying.
“…regress!!!!”
I finished my sentence with a frustrated roar.
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Damn, this was a long ass chapter :'(
