—————————————————————–
Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
—————————————————————–
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
One of Elsia’s characteristics:
She’s easily influenced by those around her.
By the time Jung Ah-yeon and I got our food, Hye-ji and Elsia were almost done with their meals.
We had wasted too much time with Choi Da-eun.
We started eating quickly, so we wouldn’t be late for the next class.
“Husband, are you sure you don’t want to know my measurements?”
“Fix that weird unit system first. And you shouldn’t just tell people your measurements like that.”
“If you reveal your measurements in front of me, I’ll kill you.”
“Okay, I understand. Husband is such a thoughtful man.”
My hand froze mid-meal.
I choked on my food and started coughing.
“Cough! Hack! What? What did you just say?”
“Oh my! Husband is eating too fast. You should chew your food slowly.”
I had heard correctly.
I had hoped I misheard.
But I didn’t. This was bad.
“Elsia, are you crazy? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Miss Elsia, are you sure you’re okay?”
“Grandma, just admit you have dementia. Yards and pounds, and now this nonsense. You’re a walking disaster.”
“That’s strange. The other women over there told me it’s the best pick-up line.”
Elsia tilted her head and pointed somewhere.
Towards a group of… well, large individuals.
It was Maegal, whom I had tenderized with the pork cutlet hammer, along with a few others of her kind. They were eating mountains of food, panting heavily.
A thick fog surrounded them, even from a distance.
It was a cloud of pig sweat.
[Their bodies are five trillion times larger than average.]
‘Stop using that phrase, or I’ll kill you.’
I couldn’t help but sigh, looking at them.
“I should have cleaned up that pigsty. My bad.”
“Shinwoo, they’re so full of fat; they’ll probably catch fire easily. Can I set them on fire just once?”
“Master, Miss Hye-ji, please refrain! Killing pigs is considered property damage.”
To think they were teaching Elsia such horrible things!
I clenched my fists, feeling a surge of anger.
Elsia tilted her head, looking puzzled.
“But they said it’s the most effective way to attract a man’s attention.”
“You’re definitely attracting attention, bitch.”
She was attracting attention, alright.
In a bad way.
“You’re old, and your brain is empty too? Should I buy you funeral insurance?”
“My, those women at least have something resembling breasts~”
Hye-ji and Elsia exchanged another round of insults.
“…Rotten wood bitch.”
“…Brick bitch.”
They glared at each other.
But I was focused on those pigs.
‘They don’t need education, they need to be slaughtered.’
[They’re wasting oxygen.]
‘I’m going in, bastards.’
I grabbed a stack of Jung Ah-yeon’s duel application forms and threw them at the pigsty table.
The pigs erupted in anger.
[They’re so full of fat, they’ll burn easily. But are they even worth fighting?]
‘Someone has to clean up the trash.’
They all glared at me, their faces filled with rage.
Except for one.
Maegal, who recognized my face.
As soon as she saw me, she used her Thousand Pound Fall technique to escape the pigsty table.
It seemed like the pork cutlet hammer had traumatized her.
The other pigs, seeing her flee, started squealing even louder.
“You micropenis incel! How dare you challenge a first-class citizen!”
“Since when did Korea give citizenship to pigs? Fill out the forms, I’ll kill you all at the training grounds.”
“A third-class citizen trying to associate with a first-class citizen? How ambitious of you, you incel loser!”
Despite their words, they didn’t bother filling out the forms.
Perhaps they sensed the danger instinctively.
They were beasts, after all.
“You Bronze-tier trash! Scared of an Iron-tier?”
“You think you’re so great for beating Maegal? She’s the weakest among us!”
“Your fat is trembling with fear.”
The pigs were triggered.
They knew they were pigs, but they didn’t like being reminded of it.
“Every day is dreaming day! I’ll show you reality, incel!”
“You’re going to pay for teaching Elsia that bullshit.”
The pigs quickly filled out the duel applications.
They had all written down their nicknames.
SixPointNine, Pame (short for 패배주의 페미니스트 – defeatist feminist), Boryeok (short for 보력지원 – support).
The other names were equally absurd.
[Did they just write with their bodies? Why is there grease all over the paper?]
‘Damn, they sweat lard that quickly?’
I held the applications by the least greasy parts and submitted them.
The staff member’s face contorted in disgust as they handled the greasy forms.
[This one feels sorry for them. That must be a tough job.]
‘I feel bad for them, but what can I do? They’re getting paid for it.’
My original plan was to fight them during the practical training session.
But I had to postpone it for two reasons.
First, duels during practical training were only allowed between students in the same combined class.
The pigsty group were all Bronze-tier.
Which meant they had joint practicals with the Gold-tier students.
I was in the Iron-tier, so I had joint practicals with the Silver-tier.
We wouldn’t be able to meet during class, which meant we couldn’t duel either.
The second reason was the upcoming final exams.
The finals involved fighting a randomly chosen monster.
I had to prepare.
‘Fighting the Heavenly Demon was an exceptional case. It was harder than fighting actual monsters.’
[It wouldn’t have been so difficult if you hadn’t said something stupid like “Heavenly Demon Sperm Extraction.”]
Anyway, as soon as classes were over, I headed to the training grounds.
Professor Pil-yong was the supervising professor.
“Shinwoo, do you think you can handle all of them?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll squeeze some lard out of them if necessary.”
“…Just try not to kill them.”
A decent crowd had gathered for the duels, enough to open the betting pool.
They must have been excited to see the pigsty get cleaned up.
But the odds were even for both sides.
I guess that was because of my performance in recent duels.
I couldn’t be considered an underdog anymore.
But a substantial amount of money was bet on the pigsty team.
Judging by the gamblers’ hostile glares, they must have lost a lot of money on my previous underdog victories.
Hye-ji, Elsia, Jung Ah-yeon, and a few other students bet on me.
“Master! You’re going to win anyway, so go easy on them!”
“Shinwoo, I’m going to take a nap. Noob fights are too boring.”
“Husband! If we win this, let’s invest everything in Elf coin to show our support!”
“Hey, Elsia, no! Stop that!”
[Even when you win, you lose.]
‘Elf coin. Seriously, damn it.’
The ground trembled.
A herd of massive blobs of fat was stomping towards the training grounds.
I took out the pork cutlet hammer.
“Incel! Prepare to be demoted to below third-class citizen!”
“Aren’t you guys considered regular trash, not even recyclable?”
A while later.
After the supervising professor’s usual spiel…
The training grounds system activated.
The slaughter began.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
The results were overwhelmingly one-sided.
Maegal had already run away.
The pigsty family’s difficulty level had significantly decreased.
And for some reason, a single blow to the head with the pork cutlet hammer stunned them instantly.
As if it was their natural predator.
[Even Monster Hunter monsters don’t get stunned this easily.]
‘Maybe there’s bonus damage against pigs. One-hit KOs, seriously.’
The only challenging opponent was a large woman called “Bulgogi Widow.”
Her movements were surprisingly agile for her size, and she was pretty good with a gun.
Those two factors made it difficult to approach her.
But the fight ended anticlimactically.
I threw Mjolnir, and she tried to dodge it with a backflip.
She seemed quite confident, but…
That was the problem.
Her massive body, halfway through the flip, was slammed into the ground by gravity.
She landed hard, as if paying for her accumulated weight.
She ended up suffocating before I could even hit her.
[…That looked more like a belly flop than a backflip.]
‘Falling from a high place or landing on your stomach, what’s the difference?’
Anyway, whatever works.
After quickly cleaning up the pigsty…
…I returned to where my group was waiting.
“Husband! You were so cool! Let’s celebrate by putting more money in!”
“You crazy bitch! Stop!”
I shouted at her before she could invest any more money in that shitcoin, but…
“Ah, that wasn’t a suggestion, it was a notification! I already put it in 35 minutes ago.”
“…Ozymandias at least has some intelligence, you mindless elf.”
Elsia had already done it.
She was surprisingly decisive when it came to this kind of stuff.
Then, I realized something.
“Damn it, how did you even access my phone?! I have a password!”
“Stalking is my hobby! I know everything about Husband!”
“…My hobby is reading.”
“Of course, I know that too!”
My head started pounding.
I had to change my password later.
I looked at her, groaning in frustration.
Why that shitcoin?
“Why do you keep investing in that thing?”
“Don’t worry! It’ll skyrocket! I’m sure of it!”
“Ha…”
She was so confident.
I had no idea where her confidence came from.
Meanwhile, Hye-ji woke up, rubbed her eyes, and said sleepily,
“Yawn… Shinwoo, are you done? Let’s go eat.”
“Hye-ji, can you buy me dinner today?”
“…Sure.”
Money.
It’s like the morning dew. Here one moment, gone the next.
It wasn’t because I didn’t have any money in my account.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
I was curious about the progress of my ability registration.
Even though I wasn’t directly involved, I still wanted to know what was happening.
I heard it had already been rejected seven times.
The government couldn’t accept the existence of an ability that only allowed for physical enhancement.
‘If I tell them about my real ability, they’ll just think I’m crazy, won’t they?’
[…Wouldn’t that be the same as now?]
‘You bastard.’
[Who would believe you even if you did tell them? No one’s going to admit they can regress.]
I imagined myself explaining my ability to a government official.
In my imagination, I was passionately explaining everything.
And the official was just looking at me with a blank expression.
“They regressed! They really did! I saw it with my own eyes!”
“…Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“To the mental hospital.”
I’d be sent to a mental hospital before I even graduated.
But maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing if my ability wasn’t registered.
I would be treated as a non-ability user.
Which meant I wouldn’t be subjected to the restrictions placed on ability users.
[The mandatory security card and certificate for ability users seem a bit excessive.]
‘And that business registration for ability users is also a pain.’
[If you’re considered a non-ability user, you’d pay less taxes.]
‘And insurance would be easier to get too.’
Even if it was registered, it wasn’t a big deal.
It wasn’t me who would be suffering through the process.
[But what if you get registered during a really inconvenient time?]
‘How inconvenient can it be?’
I didn’t know at the time…
What kind of snowball effect it would cause if things were mishandled.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
