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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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Elsia, Hye-ji, Jung Ah-yeon, and I were on our way to the cafeteria after class. Well, except for Elsia, who was already there.
“Master, what are we going to do about Miss Elsia?”
“I don’t know. Ignoring her seems too risky.”
[If you ignore her, she might awaken as a full-fledged yandere who’ll stalk you forever.]
‘Long-lived species are too OP. Needs a nerf.’
But Hye-ji and Jung Ah-yeon seemed to interpret my fear differently.
They didn’t know about Elsia’s future vision, so their misunderstanding was understandable.
“Is it because she’s the World Tree Communion representative? It’s true that ignoring someone in that position could be problematic.”
“Shinwoo, should I burn down the World Tree?”
“…You could probably do it, but wouldn’t that start a war with the elves?”
Hye-ji could definitely do it.
But it would definitely start a war.
“Then, shouldn’t we just burn all the war-mongering elves as well?”
“…This is an academy novel, right? Not an apocalypse novel?”
Hye-ji, ever the pragmatist, wanted to eliminate the root cause of the potential war.
In a way, her approach was reassuring.
We arrived at the cafeteria.
The first thing I saw was Elsia, running towards me, waving her hand.
Her bodyguard elf hadn’t been seen since the first day.
It seemed she wasn’t doing her job properly.
Anyway, Elsia smiled brightly and spoke,
“Husband! I have some top-secret information just for you!”
“Oh? Is our sister finally announcing her wedding date? I’ll be sure to send a generous gift.”
“Don’t worry. My coffin won’t be as flat as little sister Hye-ji’s.”
Hye-ji and Elsia were at it again.
Since Elsia had come all this way, we decided to hear her out.
“So, what’s the information?”
“You don’t know my measurements, do you?”
“Please tell me.”
“Kim Shinwoo, you bastard! Are you crazy?!”
Hye-ji glared at me.
But this was important.
No matter how scary Hye-ji was, I had to know.
“Listen closely! My height is 5.74 feet, my weight is a secret, and for my bust size… you’ll have to guess by-”
“Wait, what?”
I thought I had misheard.
But then she repeated herself,
“I’m embarrassed, but just for you, Husband, I’ll say it again. My height is 5.74 feet, and-”
I hadn’t misheard at all.
That unit was unacceptable.
My blood started to boil.
And I wasn’t the only one.
Everyone reacted similarly.
“Argh! Get that cursed unit away from me!”
“Is she insane? Inches? She doesn’t use the metric system? That grandma is really crazy!”
“Miss Elsia, that’s crossing the line.”
[What a garbage unit!]
‘I agree. That’s a trash unit.’
Elsia tilted her head, confused.
“Why are you all reacting like this? I think the metric system is too common. It lacks exclusivity.”
“Shut up.”
“Shut up.”
“Shut up.”
[Shut up.]
Suddenly, a memory I had suppressed resurfaced.
My encounter with the unicorns.
They said they had gotten lost on their way to meet the elves.
“Elsia, did unicorns ever visit your Great Forest or whatever it’s called?”
“Yes, that’s right! How did Husband know?”
If I recall correctly, the unicorns used the metric system.
And the elves had given them directions in yards.
“…Did you guys give the unicorns directions in yards?”
“Yes, that’s right. They were so late; it was such a hassle. Seriously, how can they be so bad at calculating distance?”
“So you guys were the reason, you bastards!!!”
So that’s why I became the God of Virginity!
[You found the answer in an unexpected place.]
‘Virginity punch for all you pointy-eared bastards.’
I had to put a stop to this.
They had made a mistake, but it wasn’t too late to fix it.
“Stop using that imperial system bullshit.”
“Yards, inches, pounds, feet… they’re all such magnificent units! Husband, you should appreciate them too.”
“What is this? Is she a redneck elf instead of a pink-haired elf?”
[She belongs in Texas, not the Great Forest.]
‘I bet she carries a double-barreled shotgun.’
Suddenly, someone shouted my name and charged at me.
Actually, it was more like flying at me.
“You son of a bitch, Kim Shinwoo! Die!!!!”
She had taken a running start and was now flying towards me with a powerful kick.
It was a sharp and dangerous kick, despite her small frame.
It would have been a devastating blow…
If it had landed.
The kick missed me completely and hit a nearby pillar.
She started falling, like a bird crashing into an invisible window.
It was a pathetic sight.
The failed Hektopascal Kick belonged to…
The journalist…
And web novel author, Choi Da-eun.
“What’s she doing here?”
“You! You! Because of you, my fucking novel!!!”
“Miss Da-eun, did you seriously follow his advice?!”
“Damn it! I! I fucking!!!”
It seemed she had implemented the three factors I mentioned earlier.
But it wasn’t my fault.
Because…
“I just gave you some advice. You’re the one who actually implemented it.”
“What are you going to do about it, you bastard?!”
She was the one responsible for ruining her own novel.
She grabbed me by the collar and glared, her eyes filled with rage.
She explained that she had incorporated all three of the elements I suggested.
Not as a sudden, jarring shift.
But gradually, like sinking into quicksand, with meticulous descriptions and world-building.
As a result, the readers unknowingly stepped into a nightmare.
Like small mice entering the gaping maw of a snake.
The comment section was now filled with “OMG! The chemistry!,” indicating that the BL subtext had become the main plot.
The BL drift was a complete success.
She also said that she had been bombarded with countless long complaint messages from outraged readers.
Not just 5700-word messages…
But evolved 7800-word messages.
Elsia, unaware of this, just watched the scene unfold.
Hye-ji, uninterested, was waiting for us, yawning.
But Choi Da-eun…
Was still consumed by rage.
“Damn it! Damn it! You ruined everything, you bastard!!!”
“The complaints are longer than your actual novel.”
“Miss Da-eun, calm down!”
“Calm down my ass! Damn it! What are you going to do about this?!”
“Okay, listen to me.”
Choi Da-eun’s breathing was ragged.
But she gradually started calming down.
Well, her breathing did.
Her eyes were filled with a quiet killing intent.
A burning rage that threatened to overflow.
“How many chapters did you ruin?”
“…About 45 chapters.”
“That’s a lot.”
“She must have screwed up her chapters. This novel is barely at Chapter 45.”
[How did it even reach Chapter 45?]
‘I have no idea.’
She suddenly hung her head and let out a deep sigh.
It seemed like she was in shock.
“I ruined the views too, damn it.”
“You have to fix it. Cut out the cancerous parts and start over with new content.”
“…I already fixed it, but I’m out of ideas, and I’m tired. So tired.”
“Hmm, this one shall ponder for a moment.”
It seemed like she was experiencing burnout.
She needed a break.
I suddenly had the perfect idea for helping her relax.
Jung Ah-yeon was too busy thinking to notice us.
This was an opportunity I couldn’t miss.
I said to Choi Da-eun,
“How about meeting with some other people? It could help you relax.”
“I don’t know many people.”
“You don’t have to meet in real life. Have you tried VR chat?”
The voice in my head screamed,
[That’s the Abyss! Are you sending another author there?!]
‘If she’s writing BL about me, it’s better to nip it in the bud.’
But Choi Da-eun tilted her head, seemingly unfamiliar with the term.
I was relieved she didn’t know about it.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a virtual world where you can play mini-games, meet new people, and do all sorts of things.”
“Do I have to use my real appearance?”
She seemed insecure about her looks.
But I had the perfect solution.
“No, since it’s a virtual world, you can use any avatar you want.”
“Really? Can I create a beast-kin character?”
“Of course. You might even get some new ideas for your story.”
She was finally convinced.
She immediately started using her phone, probably to write an announcement.
“I’ll write an announcement saying I’ll be taking a two-week break and then try it out.”
“Good idea. But the equipment can be a bit expensive.”
“I make enough money, more than a ‘monthly millionaire,’ so it’s not a problem.”
“Stop bragging, bitch.”
“Anyway, thank you. I’ll do it right away.”
Choi Da-eun, her energy restored, stretched and quickly left the cafeteria.
Just then, Jung Ah-yeon, having finished thinking, came to offer her advice.
“Master, where did Choi Da-eun go?”
“I gave her some advice on how to relax, and she immediately went to try it out.”
But Choi Da-eun was already gone.
Jung Ah-yeon looked worried.
“…This one is slightly uneasy, but what advice did you give her?”
“It’s nothing. I just told her to take a two-week break and try VR chat.”
Jung Ah-yeon grabbed me by the collar.
“Are you insane?! Why would you recommend that abyss?!”
“Hey, it’s not an abyss. It’s like a modern-day Matrix.”
She started to rant.
But Choi Da-eun was long gone.
“Don’t joke around! Countless authors have disappeared after going there!”
“I’m sure this one will come back soon, don’t worry.”
“Don’t joke!!! This one doesn’t want to see another Miko disappear!”
“The way you say it makes it sound like I killed someone.”
“You did kill someone! My precious ‘Nano Machine’!!!”
Jung Ah-yeon, having lost another author, collapsed, defeated.
Meanwhile, Hye-ji and Elsia were eating together.
I was surprised they were getting along after all that fighting.
Later, I heard this story:
The author of a story where they fixed the BL drift by killing off all the male characters suddenly announced a hiatus.
They left an announcement saying they were going to take a break, relax, and gather ideas through VR chat.
But the author never returned.
An expedition was quickly formed to find the author.
It consisted mainly of veteran Hunters and ability users skilled in regression.
Their name: The Abyss Expedition, a group determined to explore the depths of the Abyss.
Their journey wasn’t easy.
But after overcoming countless obstacles, they found a character who resembled the author in the beast-kin area.
However…
It was too late.
The author had been consumed by the Abyss.
They had lost their humanity and even forgotten how to speak.
All they could say was “aaaaaaah.”
It was enough to break the expedition’s spirits.
In the end, they decided to abandon the author, leaving them behind in the Abyss.
And they chose to stay there with them, starting a new life.
And so the story of the Abyss Expedition ended.
If you ever venture into the Abyss, remember this:
Have a clear goal and never stop moving forward.
If you hesitate, even for a moment…
The Abyss will consume you.
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Filthy imperial users need to figure it out
Did the nano machine author actually disappear in an eternal hiatus due to getting hooked on vrchat? Hilarious if true.(nano machine was mid as fuck anyway)