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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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“Husband~. I’m going to put it in now ♡.”
“Wait a minute! Elsia! Hold on!”
“Don’t worry. There’s nothing to be scared of ♡.”
“Damn it! Stop! Don’t do it!”
An empty classroom.
Elsia and I were there, expressing our conflicting desires.
She wanted to do it.
I didn’t.
But Elsia was faster.
“It’ll be quick. Here I go ♡.”
“Stop it!!!!”
“Ah~~ ♡. I put it in ♡.”
“Wh-why…”
The emotions we expressed were polar opposites.
I was in despair.
And Elsia was ecstatic.
Just then, Hye-ji and Jung Ah-yeon entered the classroom.
Jung Ah-yeon, her face a mask of shock, looked at us in confusion.
“Master Shinwoo? Miss Elsia?”
Hye-ji’s reaction was different.
She looked at us with dead eyes and said coldly,
“What are you doing?”
I felt tears welling up.
Elsia, on the other hand, looked pleased.
“Damn it…”
“Oh, little sister’s here. Look ♡.”
Elsia spread her hands, showing us…
“W-wait! What the hell is that?”
“Exactly what it looks like ♡.”
“No… this can’t be…”
To explain this situation…
We need to rewind a bit.
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“Husband! You trust me, right?”
“…We just met.”
“I trusted you from the moment I saw you!”
After all the classes ended…
Jung Ah-yeon and Hye-ji left to submit an application for the training grounds.
I was waiting for them in the classroom when Elsia, as usual, came to see me.
She had been visiting me every day since our first encounter, both during lunch break and after classes.
I could have ignored her, but…
…the word “cut” from her future vision kept bothering me.
I was too scared to be rude to her.
‘She was definitely going to cut something, wasn’t she?’
[Yes. This one doesn’t know what she was planning to cut, but there’s no part of the human body that’s safe to cut.]
‘Damn it. Why is there a yandere route?’
[Judging by her words, it seems like it’s because you keep ignoring her.]
Since she kept visiting me, she was also constantly running into Hye-ji.
Naturally, they would bicker and fight every time they met.
And each time, Jung Ah-yeon and I would huddle in a corner, quietly discussing various books and stories.
This was a common occurrence.
So, having Elsia and me alone together was a rare moment.
“So, what do you want?”
“Husband, how much can you invest?”
“What do you mean? Money?”
“Yes! I’m making an investment, but I’m a bit short on funds. Can you help me out?”
“Let me think about it.”
“Okay! I can wait!”
There’s a saying:
The most toxic investors in the stock market are elves.
They can pick up any trash stock and still make a profit.
Because with their long lifespan, they can simply wait for decades for a failing company to grow into a giant corporation.
Of course, not all elves were like that.
Some older elves, with their distorted sense of time, would hold onto stocks for far too long.
And sometimes, the companies would go bankrupt, leaving them with worthless shares.
Speaking of stocks reminded me of something.
I had considered asking someone to invest on my behalf.
I couldn’t regress, but others could.
But I quickly abandoned the idea.
‘Regression doesn’t really work for stocks or crypto, does it?’
[Indeed.]
‘Even companies expected to grow in the future can suddenly collapse.’
[Perhaps the act of countless people regressing creates too many variables.]
A few days ago, I had seen several staff members pulling their hair out while looking at their phones.
They were muttering “It was supposed to go up!”, so the stocks must have performed differently from what they saw in their future visions.
The stock charts were erratic, likely due to all the regressions.
Since I couldn’t regress, I just watched the charts for fun.
But if I were a stock investor, I’d probably kill myself looking at those graphs.
Some people still managed to profit, thanks to the “those who are meant to be rich will be rich” principle.
But I had never met anyone who had successfully made money in stocks using regression.
‘Most people I know can only regress into the near future, and they don’t really invest in stocks anyway.’
[You’re surrounded by financially responsible individuals.]
I stopped thinking about it and looked at Elsia.
She noticed my gaze and started fidgeting, her hands covering her face.
She was undeniably beautiful.
But the scene from her future vision kept flashing through my mind, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit scared.
Anyway, she was asking me for an investment, so I decided to trust her.
‘She’s young, so she should be able to sell before the company goes bankrupt, right?’
[If you’re optimistic, yes.]
‘Okay, let’s go all-in! Starting today, I’m a stock tycoon, Kim Shinwoo.’
I opened the banking app on my phone and started transferring money to her.
Everything I had saved up…
Except for my living expenses.
[You’re giving her all that money?]
*‘It should be fine.’ *
Elsia’s eyes widened in surprise at the amount.
“Really? All this at once?”
“Elves are good at investments, so I’m not worried.”
“Of course!! Yes! Don’t worry! Just trust me, Husband!!”
But I shouldn’t have.
“Then… I’m going to put it in ♡.”
“Wait, isn’t the market closed now?”
“Ah! This is different!”
Because what she showed me was…
“Hey! That’s not the stock market! That’s a crypto exchange!”
“No! This is goat farming!”
“Stop with the bullshit, you basement elf!”
It was a crypto exchange, something I should never touch.
“No! Don’t do it! I don’t want a second SHAP-E incident!!”
“Husband, you can’t be a good husband if you keep questioning your wife’s decisions.”
Despite my desperate pleas…
…I couldn’t stop her.
Butterflies materialized around me, binding my body.
All I could do was shout, my eyes wide with horror.
“Let go of me! Damn it!”
“I don’t enjoy doing this, but it’s for your own good.”
“It’s not too late! Stop!”
“Husband~. I’m putting it in ♡.”
And that brings us back to the beginning.
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“So that’s why you’re crying?”
“Yeah, damn it! Why did she invest in some random shitcoin?”
“Husband, this isn’t just some random coin.”
“Then what is it?”
I glared at her, but she didn’t seem bothered.
She showed me her phone screen.
“This is the fruit of our love! Look! Even the goat’s name is ‘Elf,’ perfect for me!”
“…Why is the chart blue as soon as you bought it, you bastard?”
[It’s plummeting. Hold on tight, it’s going down further.]
‘Even bungee jumping would be slower than this, damn it.’
Jung Ah-yeon turned pale.
Just like the chart of the Elf coin.
“Miss Elsia… is that percentage loss what this one thinks it is?”
“Oh, our little goat seems to be sick. We’ll need to put in everything we have for its medicine.”
“No! Don’t! We’re screwed if you do that!!!”
My cries fell on deaf ears.
She had already invested all the remaining money.
There was only one thing I could do.
Watch helplessly as all my money disappeared.
“Ah~ ♡ I’ve put everything in ♡.”
“Fuuuuuuck.”
Hye-ji and Jung Ah-yeon quickly spoke, just in case I needed help.
“Master, as much as I sympathize with you, this one can’t lend you any money.”
“I’m so sorry, Shinwoo, but I also spent a lot recently, so I can’t lend you anything either.”
All I could do was sigh.
That didn’t cost any money.
“Damn it, my money.”
“Don’t worry too much, Husband. Elf will recover soon!”
“Take a look at its graph, it’s practically on life support.”
“…”
“…”
A brief silence.
Then, for the first time, Elsia looked troubled.
“Husband? Are we in trouble?”
“…Are you suddenly regretting it? You’re a Regretful Wife, aren’t you?”
“…What should I do? I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“Should I kill myself?”
A blue line, forming a perfect parabola, plummeted downwards.
That was the identity of the object currently capturing my tear-filled eyes.
And the slope was getting steeper.
Mercilessly so.
The more I looked at the chart, the more I felt my heart sinking along with it.
I couldn’t help but let out a sigh,
“Damn it… I shouldn’t have trusted a Regretful Wife…”
“Oh! Master is also familiar with that novel?”
Jung Ah-yeon suddenly reacted to my words.
“As expected of Master, a reader of refined taste. You’ve surely read a masterpiece like ‘Regretful Wife of the Main Lead.'”
“Of course. ‘Regretful Concubine of the Main Lead’ is the best! It practically saved Nopia.”
“This one agrees. It’s one of the most successful novels ever written.”
“‘Regretful Concubine of the Main Lead’ had so much potential, it was overflowing.”
“…”
“…”
We seemed to be talking about different things.
I needed to correct them.
After a moment of silence, I spoke,
“The true wife is Eshilli.”
“The true wife is Elf.”
Jung Ah-yeon, as always, was a Half-Elf supremacist.
I needed to remind her of her place.
“Shut up. Half-elves aren’t even worthy of being concubines, you should be grateful you’re even mentioned.”
“Silence! You concubine supremacist!”
“Come at me, bitch.”
“Gladly. I’ll crush you.”
If words couldn’t solve the problem, we had to resort to fists.
Jung Ah-yeon and I immediately started fighting as soon as we received approval for the training grounds.
Hye-ji and Elsia were watching from outside.
Hye-ji was looking at me with cold, judgmental eyes.
And Elsia was having an existential crisis, watching her crypto investments plummet.
Hye-ji’s glare felt like daggers piercing my heart.
Mocking me for being a loser.
But there are some fights you can’t avoid.
Like this one.
[This one is also an Eshilli supporter! You can do this!]
‘Glad to hear that. If you were a Half-Elf supremacist, I would’ve shown you that picture of the grandma again.’
[…Just trust Eshilli, please spare me.]
Our fight ended in a draw.
I had definitely improved. Unlike before, I managed to destroy all her summons using physical enhancement.
But I made a mistake at the end, my left arm exploding from improper mana control.
It was a bit complicated after that, but the result was a double KO.
“You’ve become stronger, Master.”
“Of course I have. This is our first real fight, isn’t it?”
This was the first time I had fought her head-on.
And it wasn’t so bad, considering it was our first time.
“Is this thanks to your training with the Heavenly Demon?”
“That’s why I told you to join us.”
Jung Ah-yeon’s face turned pale.
As if she was horrified by the idea.
“Please spare me! If you’re that strong, no one will bet on you as the underdog.”
“…At least I’ll be the favorite, right?”
“No one will even watch our fights anymore!”
“…How am I supposed to make money now?”
“…Good luck.”
The evening sun started to set.
Though it wasn’t even dawn yet.
A single teardrop rolled down my cheek.
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