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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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In the end, I still didn’t know what kind of ability I had.
But time was fair.
Whether I worried or not, it marched on relentlessly.
Meanwhile, the old man advised me against registering my ability.
“Why pretend to be a non-ability user? The ‘hidden power’ meta is over.”
“Think about it. Imagine going to register your ability and explaining it like this.”
‘I can see numbers above your head.’
‘And they go up.’
‘But I don’t know what it means, lol?’
“They’ll stare at you for a while and then give you a number.”
“But I’m kinda handsome, right?”
“They’ll think you’re crazy and give you the number of a psychiatrist, you idiot!”
The old man smacked me hard on the head with his right hand.
And it swelled up.
His hand, that is.
For the first time, he wore a flustered expression as he muttered,
“…Your head’s really hard.”
“Ninggens have strong heads, desu ne!”
He sprayed some pain relief on his hand and continued,
“Anyway, if your ability is nothing special, it’s always better not to register it.”
“But it’s illegal not to register.”
“It’s legal if you don’t get caught.”
As if tired of talking, he paused to take a sip of water.
Then, as soon as he quenched his thirst, he resumed,
“It’s vague, there’s no precedent, and you don’t even know what it is? You’re screwed.”
“Wouldn’t it be cool if my name went down in history as the first?”
“How would you feel if a rare disease was named after you?”
I imagined it as he said.
From now on, we will name this disease after you.
It will be called Kim Shinwoo Disease.
“Ah…”
“Now do you understand?”
“That’s awesome!”
“Fuck, I’m an idiot for expecting you to understand.”
He started wrapping his hand in bandages with an exasperated look.
Once he was done, he spoke to me with a slightly serious expression,
“You haven’t even looked into the ability registration process, have you?”
“Isn’t it just going to the Community Service Center and registering?”
“Sit down. Let me tell you a fucked-up story.”
After listening to his lengthy explanation, only one thought remained in my mind.
Registering would really screw me over.
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The ability registration process the old man described was even more fucked up than I had imagined.
The first step was submitting a form.
You had to download an Ability Awakening Report form online, fill it out in hwp format, and submit it.
If you couldn’t use the internet, you could fill out the form manually at a government office.
Then, about three days later, you would receive a text message informing you where to register your ability.
The registration location was determined based on the nature of your ability, which meant you could end up having to travel a long distance.
If you were really unlucky, you might even be sent to an island.
Once you arrived at the designated location, you had to follow the procedures as guided.
The final step involved having your blood drawn.
Thirty minutes later, they would hand you a necklace.
This necklace was linked to your bio-signals and ability activation, recording various data in real time.
Finally, it’s over!
“Nope, keep listening.”
“Fuck.”
Depending on the classification of your ability, most required a usage license.
Especially for abilities classified as dangerous, such as fire or electricity, a usage license tailored to your output limit was mandatory.
You had to pass a licensing exam held quarterly to obtain a license.
And if your ability grew stronger or changed?
You had to retake the exam and get a new license.
Secretly increasing your ability’s output was also impossible.
If you exceeded your limit, the necklace would detect it and notify nearby government offices.
Then, you had to visit a nearby government office within 48 hours and submit a written explanation.
“Want to hear something even more fucked up?”
“What?”
“This is just the tutorial.”
“Oh, God.”
If you earned income using your ability, you needed to register as a business.
If you wanted to use your ability outside of designated areas, you had to submit a request at least three days in advance, specifying the date, time, and scope of usage.
For banking, you had to obtain a separate security card and certificate.
You had to register your address and report every time you moved.
This, my friend, is the K-Ability Registration that has the world in awe and tears.
“Just tell ability users to commit suicide.”
“It wasn’t this strict before.”
The old man let out a hollow laugh, his eyes downcast.
“It’s all because of one crazy lightning ability user.”
“Who was this bastard?”
“They were an otaku. They called themselves ‘Railgun’ and wore a school uniform everywhere.”
A school uniform?
Was she a juvenile delinquent Hunter?
“Was she a minor?”
“They were 31 years old and wore a middle school girl’s uniform.”
31 years old… That’s an auntie, right?
But that’s okay.
I had one more important question.
“Was she pretty?”
“…He was a guy.”
“Fuck.”
I shouldn’t have asked.
Another abyss was about to be etched into my mind.
Did you call, Master?
No! I didn’t! Go back, HAL!
As I suppressed the primal abyss within, the old man suddenly started grinding his teeth.
“I was the one who caught him, and it drives me crazy every time I think about it.”
“You’re saying it turns you on?”
“You little shit.”
He tried to hit me on the head, but seeing the bandages on his hand, he exercised superhuman restraint.
He sighed and continued,
“Anyway, his ability was top-tier in terms of power and versatility. He was incredibly strong.”
“What could he do? Rob ATMs or hack IT security systems?”
The old man chuckled and listed a series of locations,
“Hospitals, banks, airports, roads, power plants, government offices, businesses, broadcasting stations, base stations, schools, shopping districts, residential areas.”
“What’s that all about?”
I asked, bewildered, and he replied calmly,
“Those are the places he paralyzed.”
“…He really was a piece of shit.”
“And he did all that in one day.”
“That hardworking bastard!”
The old man stood up and stretched as if it was time to start training.
“He was incredibly tough to deal with.”
“How tough?”
“He’d discharge electricity if you got close. Touching metal meant getting electrocuted. He could control any conductor.”
“How did you catch him?”
The old man looked at me as if I had asked the most obvious question.
“I wore rubber gloves and beat the shit out of him with a wooden sword and a baseball bat.”
“By yourself?”
“…No.”
At that moment, the old man’s expression hardened slightly.
I wondered why, but after hearing what he had to say, I was surprised he wasn’t more disturbed.
“I had a partner with me…”
“And?”
“My partner had a piercing on his dick, and the bastard got electrocuted through it.”
“Is this… what being a Hunter is like?”
My illusions about Hunters were already half shattered.
He added that the criminal they caught was now being put to good use at a power plant.
If you have a human Pikachu, you might as well utilize him.
Make him generate electricity quietly.
“Anyway, now you understand why you shouldn’t register your ability, right?”
“My head hurts…”
Apparently, Korea was still relatively better off.
Russia had a registration rate of over 100%, reaching 140%.
In China, ability users were automatically registered without their knowledge.
And in Japan, all registration procedures were done manually and via fax.
Of course, a personal seal was required.
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After putting the registration issue aside, I went home after training and thought about it.
Trying to register would only bring me trouble.
My ability was vague, so things would get messy from the start.
-You can’t register this ability here, sir! I’ll give you the address of another place, so please go there.
-The place you just told me about said it’s under your jurisdiction and sent me back here.
-Oh! My mistake. It wasn’t that place. I’ll give you another address.
-…I already went there at the very beginning.
Would it just be the beginning that’s messy?
No, the entire registration process would be hell.
-To verify your ability, we’ll conduct a test.
-Please go to another location for further testing.
-Ah, this is tricky. Let’s try a few more things.
-Just in case, we’ll need to restrict access to certain areas.
-Some data has been lost, so let’s start over from the beginning.
Registration complete?
That’s when the real fun begins.
-You can’t use your ability here. Those with always-active abilities are not allowed to enter.
-Ability users, please read this pledge and sign it before entering.
-I’m sorry, but this is a No Ability User zone, so you cannot enter.
-Since your ability is always active, any income generated through its use will be considered taxable. Please register as a business.
-There are currently no units available for ability users in our apartment complex.
-Those with always-active abilities must enter their security certificate for every deposit and withdrawal.
-Are you an ability user? I’m sorry, but you are not eligible for this insurance plan.
Asking for help from incompetent officials would only result in more headaches.
Would my parents be okay with this?
No.
They’d force me to register while promising me pork cutlets.
They did the same thing when I had to go to the dentist or get vaccinated.
Plus, if someone reported me as an ability user, things would get even more complicated.
The reward for reporting unregistered ability users was quite substantial, making them golden goblins and walking ATMs.
And of course, the reported individual had to pay the reward.
It’s a crazy world where people become bounty hunters instead of monster hunters.
Considering all that, the old man was actually a pretty decent guy.
His downsides were that he was a lunatic and had no hair.
However, his hair was starting to grow back, which meant he was about to lose one of his downsides.
That’s not good.
A character is defined by their fatal flaws.
I couldn’t accept a perfectly flawless character.
I vowed to pull out his hair again right before I entered the academy.
Weeds should be pulled out as soon as you see them.
But just before I went to bed, I suddenly got so frustrated that I shouted,
“K-Ability Registration, you’re fucking insane!!!!!”
“Shut up and go to sleep, you idiot!”
“Yes.”
I obediently went to sleep.
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From then on, until the day I entered the academy, I only went back and forth between the training center and home.
My classes were replaced with training, and I only went to school on exam days to take the tests.
Thus, I graduated high school without any memorable experiences, and the day to enter the academy finally arrived.
My parents simply sent me a text message that said, “Take care of yourself.”
And then they immediately went on a long trip abroad.
Can those of you who might get a sibling at 20 years old hit the like button?
I’ll go first!
In the end, the only one who saw me off on the day I entered the academy was the old man I had been tormented by for three years.
“I can’t believe I have to see your face even on a day like this.”
“Believe me, I didn’t want to see your face today either, you bastard.”
Unfortunately, I failed to pull out his sideburns.
Whether it was a Hunter’s intuition or something else, he somehow sensed my intentions every time and dodged me.
“I’m great at weeding.”
“Shut up, I really want to rip you to shreds.”
Right before I stepped into the academy, I asked him,
“Now that I think about it, I never learned your name after getting beaten up by you for three years.”
“Oh, right. I didn’t know your name either.”
“I get why I wouldn’t tell you, but why didn’t you know my name, you bastard?”
Suddenly, he made a fist with his right hand and started listing things off as he raised each finger.
First, his index finger.
“You idiot.”
“Yes.”
Then, his middle finger.
“You little shit.”
“Why are you calling me?”
Finally, his ring finger.
“You son of a bitch.”
“What is it?”
Then he folded and unfolded all three fingers at once and said,
“Why do I need your name? I have three different insults you responsed to.”
“Fuck.”
I sighed, but there was nothing I could do.
He could tell me his name now.
I extended my hand for a handshake and said,
“I’m Kim Shinwoo. Thank you for all your help over the past three years.”
“…I’m Kang-hyuk Ryu. By the way, can I still get side dishes from your house even though you’re gone?”
He shook my hand.
“My parents are on a trip, so you can’t.”
“Am I… going to starve to death?”
“Just die already. You’re wasting oxygen.”
We both let go of each other’s hands, and he waved at me.
“Don’t die. If you do, I’ll receive a generous settlement.”
“…Settlement? Are you going to kill me?”
“I have thought about killing you from time to time.”
“From time to time?”
“…A little more often than that.”
I waved back and replied,
“Anyway, see you later.”
“If I see you as a corpse, can I keep your head?”
We both simultaneously flipped each other off.
“Watch your own head, not mine.”
“Yeah, right. You’ll never be able to crack it.”
“You bastard.”
With that, we parted ways.
It was a truly idiotic encounter with an idiotic farewell.
But he was a precious benefactor in his own way.
As I stepped into the academy, I recalled my initial goal.
I will crush it.
I will crush Kang-hyuk’s head.
That was my sole purpose.
Suddenly, I felt hungry and turned towards the cafeteria.
And within minutes, I ran into Kang-hyuk again.
Feeling awkward, we sat at different tables.
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This shit really funny
this is fucking hilarious