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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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Monday passed without incident, but on Tuesday, the crazy second-years returned.
However, their numbers were significantly smaller than the day before.
The reason was simple.
The Support Department had completely dominated the martial artists from the Combat Department in a duel yesterday.
So the martial artists had begged for a chance to vent their frustrations.
The classroom was currently overflowing with martial artists.
Humiliated by experts, they were now pathetically seeking to take out their anger on newbies.
Is this a StarCraft custom game lobby?
Is everyone here playing “1v1 Noobs Only”?
I watched as the sweaty old farts and a few female students glared at me.
Then, I felt a sense of dissonance.
“Hye-ji, is this a gender-reversed world?”
“…Shinwoo, how bad is your general knowledge? Are you okay?”
“I never really went to high school.”
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken so carelessly without knowing your circumstances. I’m truly sorry.”
Hye-ji suddenly apologized.
It was a drastic change in attitude, like someone who had fallen for a classic “gotcha” trap.
I was startled and said,
“It’s not some tragic backstory you’re imagining, so stop overthinking it.”
“But why are you suddenly talking about a gender-reversed world?”
“I saw a lot of female students at the entrance ceremony.”
“Entrance ceremony?”
Hye-ji looked confused.
“Why did you go to the entrance ceremony? It wasn’t mandatory. A lot of people skipped it.”
“What?”
“Didn’t you get the notice? The entrance ceremony wasn’t mandatory, only those who wanted to attend were there.”
“What… are you talking about?”
I specifically called the admissions office, and they told me it was mandatory.
What the hell?
Was this discrimination against non-ability users?
All non-mutant lives matter, you bastards.
“Anyway, stop with the gender-reversed world nonsense.”
“Too bad, I was really looking forward to getting some headpats.”
One of the martial artists, lacking both common sense and patience, shouted,
“Kim Shinwoo! Duel us right now!!!”
“Don’t you have classes to attend? I’m about to die from all this theory, so come at me after class.”
“Do first-years skip even basic theory before coming here these days?”
The martial artist scoffed at me.
He then shoved a stack of papers into my hands.
“Here are our duel requests.”
“…Are we speaking the same language? Why do you keep calling it a ‘duel request’ when it’s clearly a ‘sparring application’?”
The martial artists left as quickly as they arrived.
There were at least twenty applications, maybe more.
I felt dizzy.
“Shinwoo, can you handle all these people?”
“I’ll just quit halfway through if it gets too tiring. I’m not crazy enough to fight them all.”
“But looking at these applications, they seem to be underestimating you.”
“Why?”
Hye-ji flipped through the applications and said calmly,
“The ability and weapon sections all say, ‘Not necessary against a non-ability user.'”
“These fucking scum are out of their minds! I’m going to beat them all up.”
You could argue that martial artists rely on physical enhancements.
But to act all high and mighty without even bothering to fill out the form?
This was crossing the line.
*’Those bastards…’ *
I started filling out all the blank spaces in the applications.
Especially the weapon and combat tool section.
I meticulously listed out every weapon and tool I would be using.
As the sound of my scribbling filled the air, Hye-ji suddenly spoke,
“Shinwoo, let me see that.”
“Why? Want to take a look?”
“I’m checking to see if you wrote my name down as a ‘tool’ again.”
“Why would I do that again?”
At that moment, the number above Hye-ji’s head increased.
“Give me the last application, you bastard.”
“Damn it.”
Her ability was too OP.
I hadn’t even written anything yet.
Hye-ji carefully examined the last application and said,
“The last person listed ‘Physical Enhancement’ and ‘Weight Manipulation’ as their abilities.”
“Do you know who the last person is?”
Hye-ji narrowed her eyes and glared at me.
“It’s getting annoying. Do you think I know everything?”
“You’re the only one I can ask.”
She immediately softened and smiled.
Her facial expressions were truly versatile.
“Hmm! Hmm! Well, in that case, I can’t say no~.”
“Thanks, Hye-jimon.”
“Don’t call me like some future cat robot. I’ll kill you.”
“Yes ma’am.”
It didn’t make much of a difference to me, so I just filled out the same information as before.
I planned to submit the applications after class during lunchtime.
Open wide, everyone.
It’s time for some true education.
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The appointed duel time arrived.
The training grounds were swarming with people.
The betting conditions had already been met.
Did everyone come to bet on me?
People started pointing at me and talking.
It must be praise for my previous victory.
“Ah, that bastard’s here!”
“Give me my money back. Give me my money back. Give me my money back.”
“What’s with the robe if he’s a non-ability user? Is he a wizard? The Reverse Betting Wizard?”
“He must be a wizard because he’s a virgin.”
I was wrong.
That last comment, you little shit.
I’ll call you out separately later.
The students’ hatred towards me was palpable.
And their expectations for the martial artists were proportionate to their hatred for me.
“I’m betting against that bastard, whether he’s the favorite or the underdog.”
“Martial artists, I believe in you this time. Please, kill him.”
“If you lose again, you’re not worthy of the title ‘martial artist.’ We’ll call you Champis!”
“He’s fighting alone this time? This is guaranteed! I’m betting everything on the martial artists!”
When I arrived at the designated location in the training grounds, the martial artists were waiting for me.
There were 25 of them, the same number as the applications I submitted.
They all gritted their teeth as soon as they saw me.
“What are you waiting for? Get up, it’s already time for your morning exercises.”
“Who the hell does morning exercises around this time!!!”
“Getting angry is bad for you. Why don’t you turn on some Buddhist chanting and meditate?”
“Shut!!! Your mouth!!!!!”
Anticipating that 25 duels would take a long time, there were five professors present.
They would probably rotate every five duels.
The professors with the gloomy expressions were likely the ones with fixed salaries.
Even though I hated professors, I did feel a bit sorry for the ones who didn’t get paid for overtime.
‘I’ll finish this quickly for their sake. Getting off work on time is precious.’
I had already completed my preparations.
I crossed my arms and stared at the martial artists.
“There are a lot of you, so let’s get this started quickly. Who’s first?”
“Step aside, small fries! This one will finish him off in an instant!”
A giant of a woman shoved past the other martial artists and stomped towards me.
My first thought was: it’s a miracle of the human body that she can even walk with that physique.
My second thought was: I feel sorry for those black tights that were about to burst.
‘I’m sorry, clothes. Humans are the real monsters.’
From the looks of it, she was a human being, at least for now.
The students cheered.
“Here she comes! The pride of the second-year martial artists! The Earth-Shaking Reprimand, Maegal!”
“Oh my God, look at her magnificent physique! The very image of a great warrior!”
“This sure bet is a guaranteed win! Who can possibly defeat that mountain of a woman!”
“Can you feel the earth tremble with every step she takes? My heart is racing!”
The giant mass of fat finally stopped in front of me.
She wasn’t far away, but it took forever for her to reach me, she was that slow.
She was massive up close.
I was about 180cm tall, but she was significantly taller.
A black mask and black tights that looked like they were about to rip.
And an overwhelming aura that exuded from her.
My body tensed up, every instinct screaming danger.
I steeled my resolve, preparing to crush her.
But then, she spoke.
“Incel. Are you ready to die with your 6.9cm micropenis? You little Dick-less.”
“You bitch, you escaped from a pig farm, yet your mouth is spewing bullshit?”
“Mae!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
All thoughts of intimidation vanished. I wanted to kill her.
Her roar was so loud that my ears started ringing.
As I covered my ears, Maegal continued spewing nonsense.
“This one will break the glass ceiling created by Incels! That is the path of the Heavenly Demon, Dick-less!”
“The floor is going to collapse before the glass ceiling does, you crazy bitch.”
“Hmph. A world that can’t handle this one deserves to crumble.”
“And a Heavenly Demon should be shaking the heavens, damn it! You’re just disappointing your parents with your actions!”
Maegal shook her head dismissively.
But the jiggling of her fat was anything but impressive.
“Incels and their kin are the first things the Heavenly Demon must destroy.”
“Bullshit. Why are you Bronze-tier if you’re the Heavenly Demon?”
“If this one was born in a world with only goddesses, my rank would be at least Gold.”
“Gold, my ass.”
But she ignored my words completely.
Or maybe her ears were clogged with fat.
The point was, we couldn’t communicate.
“An incel like you can’t even comprehend the suffering of goddesses.”
“You’re only alive because Korea is a democracy, you bastard.”
“This one will Make Goddesses Great Again, Dick-less! You little incel dicklet are just my first stepping stone!”
She suddenly raised her right hand and shouted,
“Make Goddesses Great Again!!!!”
「That is a sexist remark! Please be mindful of your language!」
“Hmph, a submissive woman fails to understand this one’s noble cause.”
“Seriously, damn it.”
Words were useless against this kind of nonsense. Violence was the only answer.
As I heard the training ground system activate, I checked my equipment:
A two-handed sword in my hand. A hammer on my left hip, a sawed-off shotgun on my right.
Spare ammunition, just in case. Steel gauntlets on both hands.
And lastly, a hooded robe with wide sleeves.
You might be curious about the last item, but it was to conceal my equipment.
I was the one who submitted the applications, so my opponent was unaware of what I would be using.
It was time to maximize the advantage of information asymmetry.
‘She probably thinks I’ll just be using the two-handed sword and the gauntlets.’
I gripped the sword with both hands, the tip pointing to the right and back.
I slowly approached her, my right foot forward.
Maegal just stood there, watching me, doing nothing.
As if to say, “Go ahead, try me.”
*’You’re dead, bitch.’ *
I finally reached the desired distance.
The range where she couldn’t attack, and I could.
I tightened my grip on the two-handed sword and swung it upward in a swift motion.
But she blocked my attack effortlessly with her physically enhanced hand.
Clang!
“How pathetic.”
It sounded like metal clashing against metal.
The impact felt strange.
Ignoring the pig squeal that escaped her, I continued my assault, utilizing the momentum of the previous swing.
Downward strike. Horizontal slash. Another upward swing, using the momentum.
Maegal just backpedaled slightly.
None of my attacks were landing.
*’Will other methods work?’ *
I pretended to swing the sword, took another step forward, and switched to a half-swording grip.
The pommel’s purpose was to balance the sword.
But now, it became a blunt weapon, aimed at Maegal’s head.
Thud!!!
“Is this bitch’s head made of vibranium? Why is she still okay after taking a pommel strike to the head?”
“This is getting annoying. Playtime’s over.”
The impact felt solid, but Maegal seemed completely fine.
She took a wide stance and bent her knees.
“Thousand Pound Fall!!!”
Suddenly, she vanished.
Confused, I frantically looked around, trying to find her.
Then, I heard the students shouting “She’s above you!”
I quickly looked up.
Maegal was already soaring high in the sky.
“Ten Thousand Pound Fall!!!”
She roared from above.
And then, her massive body crashed down on me, aiming to crush me beneath her weight.
BOOM!!!!!!!!
I leaped back just in time, trying to create some distance.
But Maegal was faster.
She threw a punch at me while I was still in the air, putting all her weight behind it.
“Die!!!”
I reacted instinctively, gripping the sword in a reverse grip with my right hand and positioning the flat of the blade to meet her fist.
I used my left hand to support the other side of the blade, bracing for the impact.
BOOM!!!!!!!
Clang!!!
It was just one punch.
But the damage was immense.
My left gauntlet and the two-handed sword shattered into pieces.
The remaining kinetic energy sent me flying towards the training ground wall.
I crashed against the wall, my back hitting it with a loud thud, and slumped to the ground, groaning.
“Ugh, damn it. Why is she flying if it’s called ‘Thousand Pound Fall?'”
“Incel, Thousand Pound Fall is merely a movement technique for this one.”
Maegal confidently approached me, flexing her fist.
“True power comes from Ten Thousand Pound Fall, Dick-less.”
“How the hell is Thousand Pound Fall making your body lighter, you fat pig!!!”
“That’s the last thing you’ll ever say!”
I struggled to my feet.
My breath was still ragged. My back ached from hitting the wall.
As I was trying to catch my breath, the number above Maegal’s head increased by one.
Alarm bells were ringing in my head.
If I don’t dodge, I die.
“This one’s victory is inevitable!!!”
Before she could even finish her sentence, I rolled to the left.
Her attack was swift and ferocious.
Her figure blurred, and suddenly, she was standing where I had been a moment ago, her right fist extended.
But I was still on the ground, unable to get back up after rolling.
And worst of all, my back was exposed.
In that split second, less than a second…
My mind raced.
The pommel strike to the head felt solid, which meant I could damage her.
Assuming she could enhance specific body parts but not her entire body.
Her sudden acceleration was much faster than mine.
Her next attack would be with her left hand.
I had enough information.
I could see a way out.
I drew the sawed-off shotgun from my hip.
Without turning around, I fired it behind me, through the opening of my robe.
BOOM!
“What?!”
As expected, she was retracting her right arm and about to strike with her left.
But my attire concealed the shotgun, and she clearly hadn’t anticipated the attack.
It wasn’t a direct hit, it just bought me some time.
But that brief moment was all I needed.
I rolled back onto my feet, drawing the hammer from my left hip.
I planted my left foot, shifting my weight onto it, twisted my waist, and swung the hammer in a wide arc to my left.
At the same time, I saw the red number above her head increase.
I grinned and followed through with the attack.
“You didn’t expect this, did you, you fat pig? It’s time for you to take a beating.”
The hammer, propelled by centrifugal force and my body weight…
Connected perfectly with the left side of her head.
THUD!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Oink oink oink!!!”
“Hahahahahaha!! This feels so good!!!”
Maegal let out a pig squeal as blood splattered from her head.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
The tingling sensation in my hand indicated I had inflicted a powerful blow.
But she was still standing, enduring the pain.
Her thick layers of fat provided a strong defense, and she tried to attack again.
‘Not a chance, you bastard.’
I fired the remaining shot from the sawed-off shotgun.
BOOM!
“It wasn’t a single shot?!”
“If you don’t know, then get hit, pig!”
Her expression was a mixture of shock and confusion.
That brief moment of surprise was all I needed.
I swung the hammer down again with all my might.
The hammer I brought resembled the ones used for tenderizing meat.
Ah, it was pork cutlet making time.
“I’m going to tenderize you into minced meat today!!!!”
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
She frantically tried to block my attacks, her hands flailing wildly.
So I kicked her hands away and continued to smash her head.
‘Move your hands. You stink, damn it.’
Unlike before, she was now completely helpless, unable to do anything but take the beating.
She writhed in pain, begging for mercy,
“St-stop!!!”
“Stop? You should have stopped running your mouth first, bitch!!!”
Not a chance.
Electrocution was the ethical method for slaughtering pigs nowadays.
But the opponent before me was more suited for old-school methods.
So I had no choice.
It would be rude not to beat her senseless.
The one-sided beating continued until my arms were too sore to lift the hammer any longer.
By that point, Maegal was sprawled on the ground, her limbs twitching like a slaughtered pig.
Her defeat was certain.
The training ground system deactivated.
Humanity had triumphed.
Meanwhile, the spectators were speechless.
They hadn’t expected me to win alone, without Hye-ji’s help.
‘Ah, being the underdog is so sweet.’
But my work wasn’t done yet.
I pointed my right middle finger at the remaining martial artists and said,
“Come at me. The professors need to get off work.”
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The duels against the remaining martial artists ended anticlimactically.
I didn’t even need to use the sword.
They were 24 idiots who believed I was a non-ability user and didn’t list any abilities on their applications.
The shotgun was the perfect tool for intellectual execution.
Each martial artist, as their turn came, took two shots from the sawed-off and then yielded.
“Ugh, how cowardly, using a gun.”
“I’m a realist. There’s no room for the romanticism of a duelist.”
“This isn’t a duel, it’s a spar!”
BOOM!
“Next.”
Another opponent stepped up.
Were these guys really this clueless?
Did they seriously think I would come unarmed?
What kind of confidence made them challenge me without even listing a single ability?
There were a few who tried to secretly use physical enhancements.
But they were all equal before the overwhelming power of the pork cutlet hammer.
I held the hammer high and addressed the next martial artist who approached me,
“Hey, there’s an automatic pork cutlet hammer loaded and aimed at your head.”
“Y-you bastard!!!”
“Go home and rest. Just take the beating and surrender already.”
“I’ll kill you!!!”
Another martial artist charged.
And the hammer descended.
It was a never-ending cycle.
That day, I served 25 customers.
After thoroughly beating the last one, another wave of cries erupted from the spectators.
“I trusted those Champis.”
“Damn it, I don’t even have money for food tonight.”
“This is a dream. Please tell me this is a dream.”
“Fuck, why did I lose everything when those crypto investors still get to keep half their principal!!!”
“You idiots, I’m 100 million won in debt! 100 million won, you bastards!!!!”
I’m happy.
So happy.
Their cries made me feel alive.
I love it.
Meanwhile, the professors seemed to be in a good mood.
Perhaps they hadn’t placed any bets this time.
Ah, they were happy about avoiding overtime.
They would finally get to exercise the most important muscle in life: “going home.”
Suddenly, I thought of Sister Ye-rim.
I quickly took out my phone and sent her a message.
Me: [You saw that I was the underdog again, right? Time for a naked dogeza.]
Auntie: [I already bet on you.]
Me: [If you wear a collar, the old man will keep going all day until you’re pregnant.]
Auntie: [Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.]
That was enough for Sister Ye-rim.
Now it was Old Man Kang-hyuk’s turn.
Me: [Be grateful.]
Idiot: [What the hell? Are you drunk?]
Me: [You’ll find out soon. Just get ready to say ‘Thank you.’]
Idiot: [Huh? Thank you.]
Me: [Practice celibacy for a while.]
I approached Hye-ji, who was standing next to a dejected Jung Ah-yeon.
“What’s this? A spy for the Champis? Why are you giving her Konpeito?”
“D-do I need a reason to be here?”
“It’s okay, Shinwoo. She’s a weakling.”
“That’s true, but it’s just annoying to have a weakling clinging to us.”
“Have martial artists fallen so low that they’re worse than stray dogs now?”
Jung Ah-yeon mumbled in a gloomy voice.
Hye-ji said condescendingly,
“They lost to the Support Department, then challenged Shinwoo to vent their anger and lost again. What idiots, right?”
“Hye-ji, this is actually dangerous for everyone else.”
“Why?”
She stopped teasing Jung Ah-yeon and looked at me curiously.
“Anyone who loses to these idiots will be branded as a loser worse than a martial artist.”
“Oh.”
“…Martial artists aren’t a group of idiots… sob.”
What if a certain baseball team lost 18 games in a row?
The other teams’ goal wouldn’t be to win the championship, but rather, to avoid losing to that team.
One plague-ridden team would infect the entire league with terror.
Of course, that was just an example.
Surely there’s no such pathetic team in this world, right?
Jung Ah-yeon burst into tears.
We left her behind and went to eat.
A wave of exhaustion hit me after everything was done.
I fought 25 times today.
Even gladiators would demand human rights if they were treated like this.
*’Even Maximus would quit if he had to fight 25 times a day.’ *
I was so tired that my hunger wasn’t being sated, so I added two more dishes to my order.
Hye-ji seemed to have stopped moving, so I glanced at her.
Her eyes were trembling.
“Hye-ji, I made you rich, so two extra dishes shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
“…That’s not it, damn it.”
She said gloomily.
I followed her gaze and saw a busty female student walking by.
“Ah.”
It wasn’t the food that bothered her, it was the student’s large breasts.
Feeling a sudden pang of sympathy, I gave her my dessert.
She looked at me with grateful eyes.
“Shinwoo.”
“Hang in there.”
I cleaned up my dishes and got ready to leave.
I had a feeling I’d be running again soon.
“Dreams are beautiful because they are unattainable.”
“You bitch!”
It was a pretty intense post-meal workout.
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Peak cinema. Which joyless fucks put a 1 star in this masterpiece?