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Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous – Chapter 15

.。.:✧ A Record of the Past ✧:.。.

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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“Today, I’m going to record our sparring session.”

“Why are we suddenly doing a video recording?”

The old man looked the same as always, with messy hair, an unkempt beard, and wearing his usual shabby tracksuit. I’d seen it so often that it was starting to feel strangely endearing.

“I’m going to use one of my abilities this time. If you can land even a single hit on me, I’ll consider it a success.”

“Come on, you’re going to use your abilities to beat me up now? That’s unfair! How am I supposed to hit you?”

“Shut up and listen.”

“……”

However, unlike usual, the Old Man’s voice was serious.

He fixed his gaze on me, a strange juxtaposition of a lazy expression and sharp eyes.

“The ability I’m going to use is object manipulation.”

His tone and cadence were the same as always.

But the atmosphere was different this time.

Sharp and cold.

It felt like I could get cut just by being near him.

He grabbed the weapon rack in the training ground and flipped it over.

Various weapons clattered to the floor with a metallic clink.

He rummaged through the pile of weapons and said,

“My ability is very specific, but its effects are absolute. Listen carefully.

Any object with two 4cm straight lines drawn on it, 1.3cm apart, comes under my control.”

He picked up a longsword, examined the blade, then casually tossed it aside.

“I can manipulate any object that meets this condition up to the limits of my processing power.

And the speed and power are the same as if I were wielding the object myself, so be careful.”

He had already selected over four swords.

But he continued rummaging through the pile.

“I’ll also tell you its characteristics. Objects that leave my control don’t fall to the ground. They remain fixed in their position.

Lastly, the control range is 10 meters around me. Trying to keep your distance won’t work, so figure out a way to deal with it.”

He stopped explaining after selecting a total of eight swords.

He was different today.

These were weapons intended to kill.

And he was about to use his ability to wield them against me.

He started drawing two clear, straight lines on the lower part of each sword blade with a marker.

He soon finished marking the last sword.

Then, the eight swords slowly rose into the air.

They surrounded me, their sharp points aimed at my body.

He grabbed another sword and held it in his hand.

Once everything was ready, he activated the training ground system.

“Let’s begin.”

As soon as he finished speaking, all eight swords shot towards me, aiming to pierce my flesh.

Anticipating the attack, I was already rolling forward.

It wouldn’t make a difference, but I still complained,

“Give me some time to grab a weapon!”

“Who’s going to wait for you in a real battle?”

I dodged the incoming swords and quickly snatched a longsword with my right hand.

As I got back on my feet, I grabbed a mace with my left hand.

Keeping my distance would only give him more opportunities to attack.

I lunged forward.

As soon as I reached him, I planted my right foot and attempted to stab him in the abdomen with the sword.

Clang!

A sword appeared out of nowhere, blocking my attack.

I bent my right arm and slammed my elbow against the blade.

Without losing momentum, I pivoted on my right foot and swung the mace with my left hand.

Clang!!!!

Another sword blocked my attack.

This time, the sound was louder, and sparks flew from the impact.

But it wasn’t a clean hit.

I gave up on trying to get closer.

If the swords in the air continued to surround him, I wouldn’t be able to attack him.

I backstepped and struck the lower part of the sword blocking my path with my longsword.

I aimed for the lines he drew with the marker.

Clang

The swords clashed, and we were back to our original positions.

“I see, trying to nullify my ability by targeting the markings. Not bad.”

“How am I supposed to break through?!”

“If you can’t, you die.”

Six swords shot towards me.

This time, it wasn’t just a simple stabbing attack.

Some were slashing, some were thrusting.

The swords moved erratically, as if each had a mind of its own.

And they came at me in waves.

I dodged to the right, deflecting two slashing swords, and charged forward again.

Or at least, I tried to.

A sword suddenly thrust upward from my blind spot, stopping me in my tracks.

It pierced through my right forearm.

Thud!

“Damn it, that hurts!”

“You’re good at dodging, but that sword you attacked is still under my control.”

“This is bullshit! Isn’t this ability overpowered?”

The sword that pierced my arm quickly pulled itself free.

It then flew in front of the old man, its blade aimed at me, as if to protect him.

I took a deep breath and assessed the situation.

My left hand was still fine.

But the wound on my right arm was more serious than I thought.

I could still grip the sword, but I wouldn’t be able to put as much force into it.

My right arm trembled as I gripped the sword.

Blood started flowing from the wound.

My right arm, from the elbow down, was drenched in blood.

“That’s why I told you to think carefully before you move.”

“Stop spouting that shameless bullshit.”

I tightened my grip on the sword, which was slipping because of the blood on my hand.

I lunged to the left.

Six swords immediately moved to intercept me.

Two aimed for my left ankle, one from each side, as I planted my foot to push off.

The rest aimed for my neck, right shoulder, left thigh, and abdomen.

I quickly shifted my weight onto my left foot, a half-beat faster than usual.

I felt immense pressure on my left ankle.

I twisted my body and threw myself to the right.

Slice.

Thud.

Clang.

My left calf was grazed by a blade.

It was a sharp attack, timed perfectly to catch me as I changed direction.

But it wasn’t a big deal.

It didn’t affect my movements.

The other swords either narrowly missed me or embedded themselves in the ground.

I pushed off with my right ankle and lunged to the left again.

Fighting against the momentum, I quickly closed the distance between me and the old man.

“That wasn’t bad.”

“Then just take one hit!”

I didn’t slow down, I planted my left foot, and swung the sword with all my might.

Clang!!!!!!!

A loud crack echoed as sparks flew from the impact.

He must have deemed this attack dangerous because of the increased speed.

This time, four swords flew in to block my attack.

And as if that wasn’t enough, he even used the sword he was holding.

“This bastard’s got brute strength.”

It felt like I had swung a mace, not a sword.

But I hadn’t landed a clean hit yet.

I didn’t stop. I pulled my right foot forward and stepped on the layered swords, using them as a springboard to leap forward.

And as I was about to bring the mace down on him…

Slice

Two swords, still hovering in the air, sliced cleanly through my left arm just below the shoulder.

“Ugh.”

“I told you, if you can’t break through, you die.”

“This is fucking difficult.”

I suppressed a scream and swung the remaining part of my arm.

As if I still had a full arm.

Blood sprayed from the severed limb.

Splat!

“What the-?!”

He hadn’t anticipated this. Blood splattered across his face, momentarily blinding him.

This was my chance.

I did a front flip in the air and landed behind him.

And I thrust the sword towards his spine.

Thud

Clink! Clink! Clink! Clink! Clink! Clink!

The sword sunk slightly into his back.

I wanted to pierce him through, but two things made it impossible:

My injured right hand couldn’t exert enough force.

And the six swords he launched, anticipating my attack, were now hammering against my blade.

But it was enough to keep the sword embedded in his back.

And that was enough.

I felt the sensation of the blade hitting bone through my fingertips and focused.

I already landed a hit, so it was a success. But I wasn’t satisfied. I had suffered too much to end it like this.

As I backed away slightly, he spoke in a surprised tone,

“You stabbed me? Congratulations, you passed.”

“Die!!!!!”

“That’s not going to happen.”

As soon as he finished speaking, the eight swords started piercing my body mercilessly.

But the adrenaline coursing through me momentarily numbed the pain.

A brief reprieve.

It was enough.

I quickly planted my right foot.

I used the momentum to spin my body and launch a roundhouse kick with my left foot.

I aimed for the pommel of the sword embedded in his back.

Thud!!!!!!!

The sword in his back was suddenly jolted forward with immense force.

Just like a hammer driving a nail into wood, my sword pierced clean through him.

“I got you, you bastard!”

Suddenly, I felt dizzy.

Was it from blood loss?

Or was it because my body was finally relaxing?

Whatever the reason, I couldn’t hold on any longer.

Unlike the old man, who was still standing, I collapsed and lost consciousness.

Just before blacking out, I thought I heard him say,

“You stubborn bastard. You really did it, huh?”

The training ground system deactivated, and silence descended upon the arena.

The only sound that echoed through the stillness was the notification that the recording had ended.

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“What do you think? After watching that?”

“It’s Ryu Kang-hyuk.”

“Indeed. And he was only using a quarter of his maximum capacity, with just one ability.”

“But the speed and power we witnessed were definitely his limits.”

As the video ended, Chairman Jang steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them.

“Take a closer look at the last part.”

“What are you referring to, Chairman?”

“Look at his hand, not the kick.”

The secretary rewound the video slightly and played it in slow motion.

Chairman Jang watched with a hint of amusement in his voice.

“He’s wiping off the markings on the sword with the blood on his hand.”

“What does that mean?… Ah, I see.”

“As always, you’re quick on the uptake. That’s why you’re my secretary.”

Chairman Jang, his mouth feeling a little dry, gestured towards his desk.

He grabbed a piece of cheap Turkish delight and popped it into his mouth.

“He was probably trying to erase the markings and use the sword against him if the attack failed.”

“I don’t think that was a conscious decision. It looked more like instinct.”

“We don’t know for sure, but even just this video shows his potential.”

“With those movements and reflexes, he’d be at least Gold-tier.”

Chairman Jang let out a hearty laugh.

“The one who punched Ryu Kang-hyuk in the gut is the new student I admitted.”

“…What?”

The secretary, who had remained calm up to this point, finally showed a flicker of surprise.

Chairman Jang smiled, pleased with her reaction.

“And he’s a non-ability user who hasn’t even awakened a simple ability.”

“How can someone like that land a hit on Ryu Kang-hyuk?”

“If it wasn’t possible, we wouldn’t have this video, and I wouldn’t have decided to admit him.”

The secretary finally looked convinced.

“…So that’s why you admitted him.”

“Hahahaha. But aren’t you curious?”

Chairman Jang looked out the window, his gaze distant, as if lost in thought.

Was it nostalgia for the past? Or was he ruminating over a past grudge?

Only he knew.

“What if that non-ability user were to awaken an ability?”

“With all due respect, Chairman, statistically, abilities awaken only before the age of 20.”

“Yes, you’re right. But there’s always the possibility of an exception, isn’t there?”

“That’s highly unlikely-”

Chairman Jang interrupted her by standing up.

He walked slowly towards the door.

“Just consider it an old man’s small hope.”

“…”

“And besides, the protagonist of the recent duel was that student.”

“You mean that absurd duel with the ridiculous odds, the one that exploited a loophole in the rules?”

The secretary, who rarely expressed her emotions, spoke with unusual sharpness.

Chairman Jang stopped at the door, turned around, and smiled slyly at her.

“You were betting on the favorite, weren’t you?”

“……”

“Thanks to you, I made a pretty penny. The other old farts must be crying their eyes out. Kekeke.”

He left the room, leaving his secretary standing there, frozen in place.

Whether she was stunned or grieving over her lost bet, only she knew.

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“Shinwoo, you really don’t remember anything?”

“I don’t remember anything since I got here. I’ve forgotten everything. I’m screwed.”

“I’ll take care of you for the rest of your life, but at least don’t get dementia, okay?”

“…Hye-ji? Why is the topic suddenly so heavy? I’m still in my 20s.”

In the end, I didn’t tell Hye-ji that I skipped the entrance exam.

It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her.

But I figured it was better to be cautious, considering how quickly rumors spread.

*’I can’t trust any of these bastards.’ *

I spent the rest of my time trying to catch up on my studies.

The sheer volume of material suggested that mastering it wouldn’t happen overnight.

‘No wonder there aren’t any normal Hunters with this kind of theory crammed into their heads.’

Of course, the only Hunter I knew was Old Man Kang-hyuk, and he wasn’t exactly sane either.

I could at least land a few hits on him now.

Before that, he was a crazy bastard who’d beat me up with a smile on his face.

As much as I find him annoying, he should be thanking me.

His magnificent mommy dispenser of a girlfriend will be doing a naked dogeza for him soon.

Why?

I just have a feeling.

I told Hye-ji earlier that I was the favorite, but this feels like the return of the Underdog Knight of the Arena.

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[Translator Notes]
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Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous

Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fucking Ridiculous

Score 9.7
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2021 Native Language: Korean
Hey, all of us who CAN'T regress, how about we hit that like button? I'll go first!

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