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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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The infirmary was faintly scented with alcohol for some reason.
Hye-ji and I opened our eyes almost simultaneously.
We were both still groggy, struggling to make sense of the situation.
I was lying face down on the bed.
No wonder my back felt like it was going to break.
I let go of Hye-ji’s hand and stretched, trying to ease the stiffness in my body.
Hye-ji, still half-asleep, stared blankly at her left hand.
Then, her eyes slowly came into focus, and she looked like a startled cat caught in a downpour.
“Ah? Ah? Ah! Ah!”
“Did you sleep well, Hye-ji?”
But Hye-ji ignored my greeting, pointing at me and sputtering,
“Hey! You! Why were you holding my hand!!!”
“You asked me to last night! Please don’t report me! I didn’t do anything!!”
“Huh?… Oh… Ah, right. You’re right.”
That was a close one.
A #MeToo accusation after only 13 chapters?
What if this comedy novel suddenly turned into “But I Didn’t Do It?”
No way.
Please.
Hye-ji, now fully awake, and I tidied up the bed.
Since no one else was around, we left the infirmary and returned to our dorms.
Hye-ji’s movements seemed stiff, but I ignored it.
‘She must be going through a growth spurt, like she said.’
As soon as I got back to my dorm, I washed up, and then I noticed the books I had borrowed.
I remembered the librarian’s words about the due date.
And then it hit me.
‘Oh shit, they’re overdue.’
I went to the library, paid the late fees, and returned to my dorm, hoping to take a nap.
But my hopes were dashed when I received a call from an unknown number.
“Hello?”
-“It’s Professor Mi-ran.”
“What’s up?”
-“Kim Shinwoo, do you remember the discriminatory remark you made during the duel yesterday?”
I tried to recall what she was referring to.
Discrimination? I must have called the supporter a tool.
“Weren’t we going to overlook that?”
-“You’re going to be doing some community service today, Shinwoo.”
“Isn’t that a bit harsh, considering I just went through a grueling fight?”
-“Just get here quickly. You’ll only make things worse for yourself if you keep complaining.”
Her voice was laced with personal animosity.
Just to be sure, I voiced my suspicion,
“Be honest, it’s because I’m the underdog, right?”
-“Just get here.”
‘I knew it, this bitch.’
I ended up spending my entire Saturday, which was supposed to be a day of rest, doing community service at the academy.
I tended the flower beds, cleaned the bathrooms, helped out in the cafeteria, cleaned the dorm hallways and stairwells, and walked a dog.
You might think that last one is odd.
But what could I do?
The academy’s pet dog outranked me, so I was ordered to walk it.
However, I didn’t realize it was a dog at first.
Because…
“Is that a pig?”
The dog was so obese that it was indistinguishable from a pig.
At least it barked, so I assumed it was a dog.
As I dragged the dog along, I started thinking pointless thoughts.
‘I heard that military dogs outrank soldiers in the army. Should I salute it every time I see it?’
But my thoughts were interrupted when the dog, exhausted after walking a few steps, collapsed on the ground.
It looked at me with pleading eyes, asking to be carried.
Nope.
Not a chance, you lazy mutt.
I started dragging the dog, ignoring its protests.
It got up and started walking again.
As soon as we reached the cafeteria after our walk, the dog regained its energy and bolted inside.
It immediately stuck its head into the trash can.
*’Is this what they call a ‘dog-pig’?’ *
Finally, my community service was over.
I went to the convenience store and bought a lunchbox and a cup of ramen.
As I was paying, I noticed a display of contact lenses behind the cashier.
Ah.
This is it.
On impulse, I bought a pair, thinking I could use them tomorrow.
Jung Ah-yeon.
You’re dead.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
On Friday, I had sent Jung Ah-yeon a simple message:
[Green miniskirt maid outfit. White stockings.]
[Sunday, 10:30 AM. In front of the cafeteria. Respond with ‘Yes, Master!’ Speak formally.]
And the day of reckoning had arrived.
Sunday, 10:30 AM.
Jung Ah-yeon, dressed as instructed, arrived in front of the cafeteria.
A green maid outfit with a short skirt and white frills on the sleeves and hem.
Complete with white stockings.
She didn’t miss a single detail.
Hye-ji and I exchanged sinister smiles as we entered the cafeteria.
We chose a table in the center, where everyone could see us.
We watched as Jung Ah-yeon hesitantly entered the cafeteria, clutching the hem of her skirt.
“Ugh! You pervert!”
“Don’t worry, this is just the beginning.”
“That’s right. The real fun starts now, just like Shinwoo said.”
Jung Ah-yeon pointed at Hye-ji while still clutching her skirt with the other hand.
“Have you fallen for Master Shinwoo as well? Does he have experience charming men too?!”
“I’m a girl too, you bitch!”
“Shall we start with the formal speech?”
“…Yes, Master. What are your orders?”
I paused briefly.
And then I shouted as loud as I could,
“Waiter! One carbonara over here!”
“…What?”
Jung Ah-yeon looked at me as if she had misheard.
“Didn’t you hear me, waiter? I said, one carbonara over here!”
“Master Shinwoo, will that be enough? Waiter! One rosé pasta and a medium-rare steak!”
“Stop it! Waiters belong in taverns! And they don’t dress like this!”
“Hey, you’re supposed to respond with ‘Yes, Master!’ when you take an order. Don’t you know it’s almost time for your afternoon training?”
“…Yes, Master, damn it.”
Jung Ah-yeon gritted her teeth and went to place our order.
But she returned a moment later, her expression even more lifeless than before.
“…It’s before lunchtime, so you have to order through that device over there.”
“Oh dear! Brunch time already? What bad luck. Lady Hye-ji, I shall return shortly.”
“Master Shinwoo, why don’t you have the waiter do it? Such experiences are what help a waiter evolve into a great waiter.”
“Shut up!!! That word doesn’t exist anywhere in this world!!!”
“Hey, waiter, you won’t be able to evolve with that attitude. Hurry up and use the kiosk.”
This time, Jung Ah-yeon bit her lip and used the kiosk to place our order.
Her eyes were bloodshot, her lips bleeding from biting them, and she was practically punching the kiosk screen.
She then got scolded for trying to break the machine by a professor who had snuck into the student cafeteria.
Of course, the busted professor was dragged out before he could finish his meal.
Who does he think he is, coming to the student cafeteria?
Shameless.
We started eating the food Jung Ah-yeon brought us.
Of course, there was no portion for Jung Ah-yeon.
Waiters have to work.
‘She was looking down earlier. Did she spit in our food?’
I had a bad feeling about this.
And the thought of the waiter tampering with our food was infuriating.
I stopped eating and looked at her.
“Waiter, do you know anything about martial arts?”
“Go ahead.”
“The ‘hua’ in Mount Hua actually refers to the character for fire (火).”
She gritted her teeth again.
“You seem to be mistaken. The ‘hua’ in Mount Hua doesn’t mean-”
“That’s why the signature sword technique of the Plum Blossom Sword Saint is called ‘Fire Arrow.'”
“Stop it!!!!!!!!”
Jung Ah-yeon clutched her head and screamed.
Hye-ji, who had been stuffing her face, looked up and clicked her tongue.
“Master Shinwoo, you’re still stuck in the old meta? Why are you clinging to outdated techniques?”
“Lady Hye-ji, enlighten me.”
“‘Fire Arrow’ got nerfed after the emergency patch. Now, they use ‘Plum Blossom, Plum Blossom.'”
“As expected of Mount Hua’s Undine spirit, it remains unaffected by nerfs.”
“Stop insulting martial arts!!!!!!!!”
Jung Ah-yeon glared at us, as if ready to kill.
Then, I heard a mutter from a nearby table.
It was her older sister.
She was pulling her hair and muttering with bloodshot eyes, just like her younger sister.
“Undine is a water spirit, you bastards! The ‘hua’ in Mount Hua refers to the character for ‘splendor’ (華)!”
Nope, not today.
Today, it’s the wind spirit Salamander and the water spirit Gnome.
If you keep arguing, I’ll show you the ultimate technique of the Mount Hua Sect: “Plum Family True Fire.”
I tapped Jung Ah-yeon on the shoulder, snapping her out of her daze.
I handed her the contact lenses I bought yesterday.
They were red.
“This should be enough. You did a good job. This is a gift for your hard work.”
“Hmph… This one will accept it gratefully. But there’s only one, isn’t there?”
“Yeah, you only need to wear one. Try putting it in your left eye.”
“Alright.”
Jung Ah-yeon put the lens in her left eye.
Now, her right eye was its natural green, and her left eye was red.
She was also currently wearing a green outfit.
The preparations were complete.
“What is the meaning of this?”
“It’s just a preparation for receiving a certain teaching.”
“Teaching?”
She seemed interested in the word “teaching.”
I spoke calmly,
“It’s a way to pay homage to a martial artist who once fought with green in their right eye and fire and blood in their left.”
“Oh! Such a martial artist existed?”
“He actually became more famous in modern times. Almost everyone knows him.”
“This one’s training is still lacking. To think that I’d be unaware of such a figure.”
I patted her shoulder reassuringly.
“It’s okay, I only learned about him recently too.”
“Thank you for your kind words.”
“Moreover, the martial arts and sword techniques he passed down still remain.”
“What are they?”
Jung Ah-yeon’s eyes lit up as she leaned in excitedly.
I gently pushed her back, trying to calm her down.
“They’re called the Champi Fist Technique and Champi Sword Technique.”
“They sound profound.”
“They are. That’s why you have to use a special battle cry when performing them.”
“What should it be?”
Don’t laugh.
Don’t you dare laugh.
I exercised superhuman restraint, controlling my facial muscles, and said calmly,
“It’s ‘Goo-ee Goo-ee (Nine-Two Nine-Two),’ representing the 92 movements repeated 92 times.”
“Alright, Goo-ee Goo-ee!”
She suddenly struck a martial arts pose and shouted the battle cry.
“Good job. But you have to put more force into it, especially the ‘Goo’ part.”
“Understood. I’ll keep that in mind.”
She bowed to me with a serious expression.
I averted my gaze and continued,
“The Champi Sword Technique is relatively newer compared to the Champi Fist Technique.”
“A derivative?”
“Yes. It was created by someone called Kim Katt.”
“A foreigner with a Korean surname?”
Jung Ah-yeon asked, curious.
“He said his roots lie in Korea.”
“I see. So where is this person now?”
“He acquired Korean citizenship and now goes by the name ‘Kim Geun-tae.'”
“I thought the lineage of martial arts had died out in Korea, but it seems to be experiencing a revival.”
Jung Ah-yeon nodded in admiration, then composed herself.
“This one will head to the training grounds immediately to practice. Thank you for your valuable teachings.”
“We might have fought, but it’s all over now, so let’s not hold any grudges.”
“Thank you. This one was wrong to be so petty.”
“It’s always good to end things on a positive note. Anyway, good luck with your training.”
I smiled warmly and extended my hand.
She readily accepted my handshake.
Suddenly, as if she had just remembered something, she asked,
“Oh, by any chance, would you tell me this martial artist’s name?”
“He became world-famous relatively recently.”
I avoided her eager gaze.
If I looked at her right now, I would burst out laughing.
“We called him ‘Champion.'”
“I see.”
I closed my eyes and muttered,
“But he said he didn’t deserve to stand above others, so he dropped the ‘ON.'”
“To think he’d be so humble. This one still has a long way to go.”
“So we call him Champi.”
“Champi… A good name.”
She repeated the name several times.
And before leaving the cafeteria, she turned to me and said,
“Thank you, Master Shinwoo. I’ve gained enlightenment thanks to you.”
“You’re welcome. Let’s see how much stronger you’ve become next time.”
“Very well. This one will strive to follow the path of Champi.”
“Good work today. Take care.”
As soon as Jung Ah-yeon left, I received a message.
Tool: [You crazy bastard! How did you spin that?]
Me: [Hey, it actually worked?]
Tool: [Her name is Champi now.]
Me: [Where are you? Why are you texting me?]
Hye-ji: [I ran away in case you got caught for drugging her.]
Hye-ji: [And that Goo-ee Goo-ee thing? I almost lost it there.]
Me: [It was a stretch, but it worked.]
Hye-ji had somehow appeared next to me.
Her cheeks were still flushed with excitement, so I guessed she made the right call by leaving the cafeteria earlier.
Otherwise, she would have blown our cover.
“Shinwoo, how long do you think she’ll believe it?”
“Maybe a week? She seems even dumber than me.”
“She’s going to kill you when she finds out the truth.”
“It’s okay, you can just fight her again if necessary.”
Hye-ji glared at me,
“I’m the support and the tool, so you should be the one saying ‘Please do it for me.'”
“…Isn’t there a problem with a support saying that?”
“Ah, damn it.”
We didn’t have anything else planned for the day.
Since I didn’t have any books to read, we decided to go to the training grounds and test out Hye-ji’s new equipment.
As we were submitting our application form and activating the training ground system, a question popped into my head.
“Hye-ji, weren’t you only able to materialize weapons and armor before?”
“Huh? That’s right.”
“But how did you create that metal chunk during our last fight? That wasn’t considered a weapon.”
“I just… thought about it and did it… huh?”
She finally noticed the discrepancy.
She started testing out her ability, materializing all kinds of firearms from the training grounds’ arsenal.
When she materialized a rifle, some of the plastic parts were replaced with metal, just like before.
But it was different when she actually touched a real gun and examined it carefully before using her ability.
All the non-metallic parts were also materialized.
This time, she held the gun upside down, pointing the buttstock forward, and activated her ability.
A small steel chunk materialized at the end of the buttstock.
“What? What is this? Wait, it actually works?”
“Hey, this is way different from what you described before.”
“Hold on! Hold on! My ability changed!”
“Damn it, why am I the only one stuck as a non-ability user!”
“From now on, call me Hye-ji Mark 2.”
There were significant changes compared to her previous ability.
After several experiments, we summarized her upgraded abilities:
She could now materialize non-metallic parts of weapons she had touched.
She could materialize any metal object she knew the structure of, even if it wasn’t a weapon or armor.
It seemed her mana capacity had increased, as she could now materialize objects without any limit on the number of attempts.
She could materialize and use chemical weapons.
Even though the duration of the materialized objects remained unchanged, she didn’t seem to care.
Hye-ji jumped up and down excitedly, expressing her joy.
“Holy shit! I can finally use a flamethrower properly!”
“Give me a flamethrower too. I want to be a Pyromancer.”
“You’re more suited to be a Weed-mancer.”
“…That sounds like something that’ll get me arrested.”
Hye-ji, with an ecstatic look on her face, raised her hands to the sky.
She looked like the Joker from the movie.
“Anyway, thank you. Why did my ability suddenly evolve? I wasn’t even trying.”
“Stop bragging, you bitch.”
After discussing it, we concluded that her ability likely evolved because she had used it in a high-pressure situation.
‘Opening up about her feelings must have also played a role.’
Excited by her newfound power, Hye-ji kept touching and materializing weapons.
Unsurprisingly, she exceeded the number of materializations she declared on the application form.
In the end, we both ended up writing apology letters.
“…But I was just watching?”
“Just write it.”
Damn it.
We submitted our apology letters.
I simply wrote “I’m sorry I’m a non-ability user.”
Hye-ji, still beaming, treated me to dinner, and I added two more dishes to the order without complaining.
After parting ways with Hye-ji, I returned to my dorm.
‘There must be a better way to utilize this ability to see numbers.’
Knowing about regression and being able to regress were two entirely different things.
In that sense, my ability was, at best, half-baked.
I could make educated guesses about what people had done based on the increasing numbers.
But it was a constant game of deduction, and I couldn’t always guess correctly.
Even if I knew someone had regressed, it didn’t mean I could do anything about it.
Damn it, I’m so jealous of Hye-ji.
No, I’m happy. I’m happy.
I buried my face in my pillow and fell asleep.
The wetness at the corner of my eye wasn’t from tears, it was drool.
Probably.
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On Monday morning, I arrived at the classroom just as class was starting.
But as soon as I stepped inside, I was greeted by a furious roar.
“You bastard!!! You tricked me!!! Champi? Champi? You son of a bitch!!!”
Oh right.
She figured it out.
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what is champi?
Champi is a slang term used to describe a pathetic, weak, or insignificant person.