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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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“Why are you so late?”
The first thing I saw was Erica’s sulky face. She had been leaning against a pillar, kicking pebbles on the ground. She brightened up when she saw me, but quickly reverted to her disgruntled expression.
Why was she always so moody? It was a waste of her pretty face.
“What do you need?”
“Do I need a reason to call you? Maybe I just wanted to see you.”
“Maybe. Or maybe I could ignore you.”
“Aaaah! Okay! I have something to say! Just listen!”
Erica grabbed my sleeve as I tried to walk past her.
Did she think I had nothing better to do? Unlike her, who had been working hard since childhood, I had to prepare for the next exam using dirty tricks and last-minute studying.
I couldn’t waste time on trivial matters. If I had any free time, I would rather spend it with Emilia.
“It’s about your promise. To cure my sister’s nightmares.”
“I did promise that.”
“I told my mother about it.”
“…”
‘Why would she do that?’
“She sighed and gave me permission.”
“What? Are you joking?”
“Does this look like a joke? I was surprised too.”
“…”
That was unexpected.
Had the recent events lowered the Countess’s guard? Or rather, was she so worried about Julia that she was willing to ask me for help?
“You’re not actually dating my mother, are you?”
“Not again…”
“I mean, it’s weird! She flinches whenever she hears your name.”
“…”
Erica stared at me, desperate for an answer, but I remained silent.
I hadn’t lied. My relationship with the Countess wasn’t that. It was much more scandalous.
“Anyway, I’ll invite you to the mansion soon. Come and meet Julia.”
“Am I a therapist? I’m not going to come running just because you tell me to.”
“Oh, then what should I do?”
“I’ll go when it’s convenient for me.”
“Fine… But you have to inform me at least three days in advance.”
“I will.”
I was the Emperor’s direct knight. I had also led the suppression force to victory in a week. I needed to act accordingly. I couldn’t be seen as a lapdog.
“Can you give me a hint? About how you’re going to cure her nightmares? I need to have some idea what’s going to happen. I trust you, but if you do something that requires physical contact, I need to know in advance…”
“Don’t worry. There won’t be any physical contact. We’ll just talk.”
“R-Really? That’s all it takes?”
“It’s difficult to explain.”
I turned away from Erica. I couldn’t explain it because it was all a sham. It was all because of my greed, my regrets. I could stop the nightmares right now.
“T-Thanks! Schlus!”
“I haven’t cured her nightmares yet.”
“But I know you can do it. So, thank you in advance.”
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Thank me when it’s over.”
“Okay…”
I waved and quickly walked away from her. I felt uneasy. I was deceiving people again.
‘This is it. One last time.’
I touched my ring finger, a habit that had developed recently.
I would say goodbye one last time and set her free from the fake version of me that had been created by my own regrets.
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“Haa…”
“Ah, you’re here? Give me your clothes and bag.”
Emilia greeted me with a smile.
I pretended to be exhausted as I entered, and Emilia took my coat, quickly taking it into the room. I felt guilty, taking advantage of her caring nature.
“Do you want to eat first? Or take a bath? Or maybe—”
“No, no. That’s enough.”
“Huh? Were you just talking to yourself?”
“No.”
My head was a mess. I sat down on the sofa, exhausted.
“I think I’ll just… rest.”
“You’re resting? Are you sick? You don’t have a fever. Did something happen today?”
“Hey.”
Emilia placed her hand on my forehead.
Why was she making such a big deal about it? A person could rest, right? Did she think I was always studying? I had been spending some time in the training room, and I had spent at least 10% of my time resting.
She seemed to think I was some kind of bookworm.
“Do you want some tea? I’ll make some for you.”
“No. Tea makes my head hurt.”
“But you always drink black tea.”
“I drink it to keep myself awake, not because I enjoy it.”
“Hmm… I see. I didn’t know that.”
Emilia sat next to me on the sofa. She was very close.
“Are you struggling with your studies again?”
“Yeah, and… I don’t know. My head is a mess. I don’t know what to do. I was just trying to solve each problem as it came up, but I don’t know what to do now.”
I was rambling.
I had so much to do. I had to secure a position, which was why I had participated in the war. As a result, I had become famous, but I had also made a lot of enemies, including the Emperor.
There were still a lot of events where people would die. I also had to keep Hertlocker under control. And I had to increase the heroines’ affinity towards me to ensure their support in the future.
I even had to worry about securing alliances with non-humans.
It was too much.
I didn’t know what the right path was anymore.
“You think too much, oppa.”
“No, I don’t. I just act impulsively.”
“No, you think too much. You think everything through and then act impulsively. That’s why things always work out for you.”
“…”
“You’re exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally too. You should rest, oppa. Forget about the future. Just relax.”
“How do I do that?”
How was I supposed to clear my head and rest? Would it be possible if I was electrocuted?
“Hmm… I don’t know. Like this?”
“…”
Emilia sat a bit further away and then pulled my head onto her lap. I felt something soft brush against my ear. It was her thigh.
Her thigh was a bit firm, unlike the soft one of Iris.
“How is it? Do you feel better?”
“Yeah… It would be better if you stroked my hair.”
“Hmm…”
Her fingers ran through my hair. It was a nice sensation, but also slightly irritating. But I did feel better.
“Oppa. How would you feel if you could never reach first place?”
“What?”
“Just asking.”
“Of course, it would be hard. It would be painful.”
“…”
“But it wouldn’t be all bad. You might not be first place, but if you’re happy, then it shouldn’t matter. Isn’t that what’s important?”
“Hmm… If you’re happy… I see. Maybe it’s okay to not be first.”
“What was that about?”
“It’s nothing. I was just thinking.”
Did they have a competition at the intelligence agency? I couldn’t make sense of Emilia’s words.
“Do you really not want some tea? I can add a lot of sugar.”
“I’ve never tried it with sugar before.”
“It’s good. You’re always drinking it to stay awake. Why not try to enjoy it for once?”
“Okay.”
Emilia gently placed my head back on the sofa and went to the kitchen. I could hear the faint sounds of tea leaves falling and water boiling. It was peaceful. It was then that I realized what Trie had said.
I had been killing people without any emotion. And as a result, the memories, or rather, the images, were becoming stronger and more frequent.
The screams, the whimpers, the blood… They were always on my mind.
It was why I had been so obsessed with working and studying. If my mind was occupied, I didn’t have to see those images.
But this was the first time. I was resting, and yet, those images weren’t appearing.
“Here you go.”
“…”
I sat up and looked at Emilia.
It was the first time I was resting without any pressure. No screams, no blood, no regrets.
I slowly took the cup from Emilia and drank.
“How is it?”
“It’s sweet…”
This was milk tea. It was the first time I had ever tried it. I had never even looked at it, but it was actually quite sweet.
“But I feel kind of… sleepy…”
I suddenly felt drowsy. I was nodding off.
Emilia quickly took the cup from me.
Was I that tired? I was about to pinch my thigh to wake myself up, but I couldn’t move my hand.
That’s when I realized. It wasn’t just fatigue.
“Emilia… did you put something… in the tea…?”
Damn it.
I should have used ‘Appraisal’ on the tea.
I lost consciousness.
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