I Gave Up on Conquering the Heroines – Chapter 175

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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|Thanks to your dedication, we have captured a powerful evil spirit.|

“It was nothing. I simply did what I had to do.”

My body trembled. The sight of Kali’s soul being dragged into the abyss still lingered in my mind.

A primal fear of death, a fear I hadn’t felt before, washed over me. It wasn’t the fear of the end, but the fear that there might not be an end.

Even in death, being dragged to the underworld meant my objective wouldn’t be complete. I would suffer for eternity.

‘What kind of punishment awaits me?’

The thought of the afterlife terrified me. I had committed countless sins, in every loop, twelve times over…The weight of my sins must be immense.

If I were to step into the purifying flames, I imagined I would ignite like dry kindling.

|You are afraid. Are you afraid of me?|

“Yes. I am afraid of you…of the underworld…”

|Why?|

“Death is inevitable, even for gods. So, I too will die one day and go to the underworld.”

|Do you wish to come to the underworld?|

“Excuse me? No…”

|Then you have no reason to fear it. Not unless you commit further sins in your next life.|

“…?”

I looked up, puzzled, then quickly averted my gaze, the overwhelming darkness making my head spin.

What did he mean? I wouldn’t go to the underworld?

“I-If you don’t mind me asking…why? I have committed many sins…”

|Indeed, you have. You have deceived many and inflicted irreparable wounds.|

‘You have?’

His words were strange, but he had mentioned his unfamiliarity with human language, so I let it slide.

“As you said. Are you saying that my sins aren’t worthy of judgment in the underworld?”

|No. Ordinarily, you would suffer unimaginable pain for decades, the combined weight of the wounds you have inflicted.|

“…”

I agreed.

I had manipulated the God of the Underworld to deal with the Heavenly Kings. It was only fair that I face judgment as well. But his next words surprised me.

|However, that does not apply to…you…others. Is this what you call an exception?|

“What do you mean?”

|Your history is…fragmented. History is a continuous flow. I, the Ten Kings, am but a mortal bound by this flow. I cannot judge those with fragmented histories. However, your case is different.|

“…?”

This was beyond my comprehension.

Who were ‘you others,’ and who was ‘you’? He seemed to be referring to me as ‘you,’ but…I decided to stop trying to understand and simply listen.

|What do you believe are the conditions for atonement?|

“Atonement? Is that even possible?”

|Without atonement, wouldn’t those who sin once continue to sin endlessly? I do not wish for that.|

“I’m afraid I don’t understand…May I ask what the conditions for atonement are?”

|You are both clever and foolish. There are two conditions: remorse from the sinner, and forgiveness from the wronged. Fortunately, you have fulfilled both conditions before my arrival. Therefore, your sins, carried over from your fragmented history, are absolved. I do not wish for the innocent to live in fear of the underworld.|

My sins were absolved…He was referring to my betrayal of Jill, Yulia, and Yerina.

I had repented (though perhaps not sufficiently), and they had forgiven me. Facing my karma had led to this unexpected outcome.

I would no longer be dragged to the underworld upon death. I could finally rest in peace.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you…”

|Oh dear. You’re breaking down.|

“Ah…uh…oh…”

I hadn’t noticed the blood streaming from my eyes, ears, and mouth. A wave of exhaustion washed over me, my legs giving way.

I collapsed, blood gushing from my wounds. If Undecided were here, she would probably be drooling, calling it a feast.

My right hand felt…empty. It groped at the darkness.

|You said there was another evil spirit?|

“Yes…yes, there is…”

I thought I had grown accustomed to his voice, but it seemed the damage had been accumulating, despite my resistance to the pain.

I answered, my voice strained.

|I don’t think you can continue this conversation much longer.|

“It’s alright…I don’t mind dying…Please…deal with the remaining evil spirit…”

|Do you truly wish to die like this? If you desire such a death, I shall grant it.|

“…”

|I see. While mortals cannot choose how they are born or the burdens they carry, they should at least choose how they die. Choose your death. I shall open the path. I leave a part of myself with you. It would be wise to utilize its power. Now then, may fortune favor you.|

The darkness receded, the crushing pressure lifting from my body. A system window appeared before my eyes.

Even the achievement description was mocking. Not just ‘meet the Ten Kings,’ but ‘survive the encounter.’ I shuddered, realizing I would have died without the ‘Mental Fortitude’ trait.

“Ah…”

Perhaps I hadn’t escaped death after all. As the darkness faded, revealing my surroundings, I saw Undecided rushing towards me, her face etched with worry.

Then, I lost consciousness.

I didn’t get to read the rest of the system message.

“Where…?”

I had been in Elvenguard.

My sense of time and space was distorted, but I remembered what I had been doing, why I was there. But the scene before me…

“A snowfield?”

An endless expanse of snow, a blizzard raging around me, the sky shrouded in dark clouds.

This…wasn’t in my memories.

Had I lost my memories again? Was this a side effect of looking at the God of the Underworld?

I scanned my surroundings, my gaze drawn to a single point of light.

“Haa…haa…”

I trudged through the snow, drawn to the light. I was still wearing my Elvenguard attire, the snow biting at my exposed skin, but I couldn’t think of anything else.

“A flower?”

A single flower bloomed amidst the snow, bathed in a ray of sunlight piercing the dark clouds. I brushed away the snow, revealing a red camellia.

But…camellias bloomed on trees, didn’t they?

Then I noticed other flowers nearby. A blue cyclamen.

“Huh? Cyclamen?”

Strange.

How did I know the name of this flower? I didn’t have any memories of gardening. A sense of unease washed over me, but a voice in my head told me it wasn’t important.

I ignored it.

A black rose, its thorns sharp and menacing. I reached for it, then recoiled as a thorn pricked my finger. And finally, a yellow jasmine.

Four flowers, blooming inexplicably in the desolate snowfield, bathed in sunlight. I stared at them, then turned sharply, sensing a presence behind me.

“Who…!”

“It is I. The Underworld.”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t look so confused. Didn’t I tell you? I would leave a part of myself, a part of the Ten Kings, a part of the Underworld, with you. That is me.”

An old man with a long white beard, dressed in a black robe, stood before me.

I froze, more surprised by the sudden appearance of a person in this desolate landscape than by his claim. I felt no pressure, no sense of dread.

“You need not worry. Such a small fraction of my power poses no threat to one with such a well-trained mind.”

“Yes…but if you, the God of the Underworld, are here…does that mean this is…inside my mind?”

“You may understand it as such. Mages call it the soul. Curse users call it the mindscape. Neither is entirely accurate. It’s not the soul, as it vanishes upon death. And it’s not the mindscape, as it has a tangible form. It is difficult to find a suitable term in human language…but you may call it…your inner world.”

“My inner world?”

“Yes. All sentient beings possess an inner world. Most mortals die without ever realizing its existence…but occasionally, one in several hundred thousand, awakens to its presence and even sets foot within it. You were ready, but you hesitated. So, I gave you a little push.”

His words cleared the fog in my mind, sharpening my vision. I finally understood this strange landscape, the endless snowfield, the out-of-place flowers.

I had been in a daze, accepting it all as a dream, but this was my inner world, a world of my own creation.

“Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me. It was nothing. You would have reached this stage within a hundred years, even without my intervention.”

“…”

He waved his hand dismissively, a hundred years a mere trifle to him. A god’s perception of time was truly different.

“So…what should I do here?”

“I didn’t bring you here to do anything. You fainted. This was the only place I could communicate with you.”

“Ah…”

“My true form had to return, lest I kill you, but I left the pathway open. I am currently channeling a tremendous pulling force from my true form in the underworld through this pathway. Reach the remaining evil spirit before the pathway closes. I will then return to the underworld with it. Do you understand?”

So, I was supposed to lead him to Luna, and he would drag Luna’s spirit back to the underworld with him. I understood perfectly.

I had assumed he would only deal with Kali and abandon Luna, wondering what kind of irresponsible god he was, but it seemed he was surprisingly thorough.

“There is one thing you must remember. I am currently within you. I can hear your thoughts.”

“Oh.”

“This is the first time a mortal has thought of me in such a way. How amusing. You treat me as if I am merely a character in a story.”

“…!”

A shiver ran down my spine.

The old man stared at me, or rather, into me, then chuckled and turned away.

“It is time for you to leave. You will awaken soon. Someone is desperately trying to revive you.”

“W-Wait! One more question! You called this ‘my inner world,’ right? What is its purpose? What do these flowers mean?”

“You will discover that on your own. Further assistance would only hinder your growth…I…”

His voice trailed off, the snowfield fading to white, consuming my vision. Then, the light subsided, and my eyes fluttered open.

“…Yoo-jin!”

“Cough!”

Undecided’s tearful face swam into view. I coughed up blood, my limbs trembling as I struggled to sit up.

It felt like I had been unconscious for about five minutes…I was dizzy from blood loss, my organs weakened, but I wasn’t in immediate danger.

I stroked Undecided’s hair with my blood-soaked hand and managed to stand.

“…You’re…not…dying…are you?”

“Not yet.”

“…Hu…”

She clung to me, her face buried in my chest. I hugged her, patting her back.

I looked up, and…

“…I was worried you wouldn’t wake up. It’s…chaos out there.”

“What?”

A raging inferno consumed the forest, a fire far greater than the Great Fire of Elvenguard.

What had happened in the five minutes I was unconscious?

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