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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Xrecker
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There’s a saying in Korea: Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Many countries around the world have similar sayings, and while the wording may differ slightly, they all mean that postponing the task at hand can lead to a massive snowball effect.
It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but I’m not the type to take the initiative or volunteer for everything. I’ll take responsibility for the tasks assigned to me, but if it’s not my job, it’s completely off my radar.
It sounds plausible, but in truth, I’m not very good at the tasks I’m assigned either. I’m content with getting by without any major issues, and if I judge that a task can be done with a little leisure, I tend to put it off.
Some might think that this behavior will improve with repetition, but anyone like me will know. It doesn’t get better just because you try.
Anyway, to get to the point, I, who had become accustomed to handling things at a leisurely pace without any major problems, was also being leisurely about the matters right in front of me, and I had recently started to feel that things had gotten bigger than I had thought.
It was sudden, but even if I belatedly thought, “How did it come to this?”, the fact that Su-a and I had had a physical relationship wouldn’t change. Of course, I had no intention of ignoring it or pretending it didn’t happen.
However, just because I made up my mind didn’t mean my worries about the future would disappear.
A few months ago, after I started dating Yu-bin, I got into relationships with Yu-ra and Ha-yeong in that order. I realized that getting involved with members of the same team would eventually be revealed, so I decided not to increase my relationships any further.
The reason I decided not to increase my relationships wasn’t because I was dating several people at once. I had never considered dating multiple people at once a problem. The problem was that the “several people” I was dating were members of the same team. And not just any team, but the Hunter Killers, who were in a hostile relationship with Spacetroe.
No, I’ll correct myself. I do think that dating several people is a bit of a problem. There’s the risk of my identity being revealed, but I was also worried that the girls who had accepted me would be hurt when they found out everything. Worrying about it now wouldn’t change anything, and I had resolved to take full responsibility and pay the price for my actions, but my thoughts were still complicated.
I still can’t sort out my thoughts, so I have no idea what I’m even saying.
During lunch break, I was sitting on a park bench, waiting for Green to arrive. It was our first meeting since the training, and in the meantime, so many unexpected things had happened that I hadn’t had a chance to contact Green at all.
The atmosphere had improved recently, and they had even gone on a trip, so I could definitely feel that I had less to worry about. It might sound like I’m being nosy to say I was worried, but just a few weeks ago, Green’s condition was such that I couldn’t help but be concerned.
Fortunately, I could feel that she was better than before, and as I was relieved, I subconsciously felt it was okay not to contact her individually.
The mental state where I couldn’t even care for Yu-bin, Yu-ra, and Ha-yeong due to the incident with Indigo had unexpectedly led to a relationship with Su-a. And after my condition improved, I spent a hot night with each of the others, one per day.
Physically and otherwise, my anxiety about how long I could keep this up was growing. But for someone so anxious, the fact that I felt good when I met them showed how simple-minded I was.
Anyway, now that I was in a relationship with Su-a as well, I couldn’t help but be conscious of Green. From my perspective, Green was the most cautious person among the Hunter Killer members. It wasn’t that the others weren’t precious, but I had learned about her family environment before anyone else and had even met her father at the police station.
Because she was so timid and soft-hearted, the thought that I shouldn’t hurt her was more acute than for anyone else. And I was relieved, in a way, that there hadn’t been any incidents that could have brought us closer yet. If I just didn’t do anything stupid, I felt I could maintain my current distance with Green.
“……Huh?”
It was mid-September, but the weather was still hot. The daily temperature range had widened, making the early mornings and late nights cool and pleasant, but the afternoon sun was like a hellfire.
“Hello.”
I spotted Green running from a distance and turned my head. Green, who approached in an instant, was panting, with beads of sweat on her forehead. She didn’t have to hurry so much.
“Hello. It’s been a while. Did you enjoy your trip?”
I had already heard about the trip from the others until my ears were ringing, but since it had been a while since I had seen Green, I couldn’t help but bring up the most recent major event in her life.
“Yes! I had a lot of fun.”
Green answered in a lively voice and sat down on the bench. In her hand was a white, semi-transparent convenience store bag.
“What’s that?”
“Ah…this is…”
I suddenly realized my mistake. Yu-bin, who worked at a convenience store, often brought things home in a convenience store bag, and sometimes she would buy sanitary pads.
I wondered if Green had also bought some on her way home and was thinking I had made a mistake when Green opened the bag and showed me the contents.
“!!…Tiramisu?”
I was about to look away, thinking it would be better not to see, but then I saw the contents and realized it wasn’t what I had thought. Thinking about it simply, if it had been sanitary pads, she wouldn’t have shown me.
“Yes.”
Inside the bag was a tiramisu from a convenience store, costing about 4,000 won, in a plastic container, the packaging intact.
Green showed me the contents but didn’t meet my eyes, looking vaguely into the air. I was used to Green not making eye contact, but today felt a little different from usual. Was it because we hadn’t seen each other in a while?
“Did you buy it as a snack?”
“Ah, yes. That’s right. A snack…”
When I met Green at the park, she always had a drink with her or went to a nearby convenience store to buy one. This was the first time I had seen her with or buying anything else to eat. I thought she was just going to buy a light snack and go home, so I asked, and Green nodded and answered in a small voice.
‘What is it?’
I felt a tightness and stuffiness, like I had swallowed food too quickly. Was Green’s unusual behavior really just because we hadn’t seen each other in a while?
“How was the meeting today?”
“The meeting? It was fun, as usual. Everyone talked about what they did with their boyfriends.”
As I was searching for an invisible answer, I felt like I had been hit on the back of the head by the unexpected news.
“Ah, I see they’re all doing well…”
I knew I had to control my expression, but I couldn’t hide my anxiety. The thing I was most wary of was the four of them not sharing my story, but it seemed they had been talking about me recently.
Of course, they didn’t know that the person they were all talking about was the same person, and since I hadn’t been caught yet, it was a relief, but my anxiety grew even more.
“Yes, everyone was laughing a lot and looked bright.”
I didn’t know if I should be happy that everyone was happy. It was an awkward situation. If I had known this would happen, I would have lied about my information.
But if I had spread false information, I would have definitely made a mistake somewhere. It was obvious that if someone like me, who didn’t have a meticulous and detailed personality, tried to spread false information, I would only get confused and make more unnecessary mistakes.
“Eun-ha, you don’t have any problems getting along with your colleagues, right?”
There was nothing to talk about regarding her family for the time being, and I was curious if Green, with her timid personality, was still getting along well with her strong-willed colleagues.
I asked in a light, casual tone, but Green didn’t answer, and I felt a moment of silence in the quiet park.
“Eun-ha?”
“Ah, yes?!”
Green, who had been lost in thought, finally heard me and was startled, lifting her gaze from the bag.
“I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
“No, it’s nothing. Is something wrong?”
Green didn’t seem okay, so I decided to check on her current condition before asking how she was doing. But Green shook her head, as if she had no intention of talking about it.
“No, it’s nothing.”
Her eyes, looking at me, were saying something. No, was it more like she was hoping for something? But I didn’t have the ability to read people’s inner thoughts just by looking at their eyes. And if I asked, Green didn’t seem like she wanted to talk.
“That’s a relief.”
I decided to stop asking for now. In some cases, it could be a way to help the other person, but persistently asking about something they didn’t want to talk about was basically just being nosy and meddlesome.
Green gave her usual awkward smile and started talking about her recent life. Since Green’s range of activities was very narrow, there wasn’t much change in her stories. I talked about the training, embellishing it as work talk. Of course, I completely omitted the part about meeting the Hunter Killer members.
I made up the story on the spot, but Green seemed to like it and listened intently without taking her eyes off me. As she focused on the story, her hand tightened, and the bag she was holding crinkled.
And every time, the tiramisu inside it caught my attention.
Lunch break passed in an instant, and I thought I should send Green home and go back to headquarters to continue my data collection.
“Shall we get going?”
“Ah…”
As I stood up and spoke, Green started to say something but stopped. I once again felt that she was different from usual, and wondering if she was going to say something, I paused and waited for her next words.
Green, hesitating whether to speak or not, her eyes darting around, finally looked up at me, who was standing and looking down at her.
“Could you spare me a little more time?”
“Time?”
“Yes, just for a moment…”
Green knew I worked at a nearby company and had a limited lunch break like any other office worker. To avoid suspicion, I had always acted like a typical Korean office worker when I met her for lunch, usually parting ways around the time lunch break ended.
But for Green, who knew this, to ask me to stay a little longer meant she had something to say.
“10 minutes. No, 5 minutes will be enough. Just 5 minutes…”
I could feel a slight tremor in her voice. Was I finally going to hear what Green wanted to say?
I sat back down and waited for her to get to the point.
And the not-so-short 5 minutes passed in an instant. And for those 5 minutes, Green said nothing.
“Eun-ha?”
“Yes!?”
She, who had been sitting with her head down, looked at the time when she heard my voice and realized that 5 minutes had passed.
“I’m sorry. I kept you during your lunch break…”
I wondered if it was really over, with her suddenly apologizing and the atmosphere feeling like it was wrapping up. In the end, my patience reached its limit, and it seemed the only way to get an answer was to ask Green directly.
“Is there something you want to say?”
“!”
Green, flinching, looked down again. I couldn’t see clearly because her head was bowed, but it seemed her gaze was on the convenience store bag in her hand.
“…Yes.”
“Could you tell me? You don’t seem like your usual self, so I’m worried.”
“…Well, today.”
The hesitant Green opened her mouth, and I focused on her words as much as I could. As if sensing my gaze, Green swallowed the words that were coming out, took a deep breath, and started again.
“Today is, well…. I…”
When Green, who always seemed to have something on her mind and had difficulty talking about herself, spoke, it was best to wait patiently. She wasn’t someone who couldn’t say what she wanted to say. She just hesitated a lot, so it took time.
“It’s my birthday…so.”
“Ah, congratulations.”
The moment I heard her words, I felt like I had done something wrong and reflexively offered my congratulations. Green looked at me with wide eyes, and her dark expression, which had been filled with anxiety, brightened.
“Thank you.”
Of course, I had no way of knowing about her birthday, and it wasn’t a problem that I had missed it. But wouldn’t it have been better if I had known in advance and congratulated her?
Green was smiling with the brightest expression she had shown all day. Did she just want to hear me say happy birthday? Or was there something she wanted?
“I’m sorry. I haven’t prepared anything…”
I felt sorry that I hadn’t prepared anything for her birthday.
“No, it’s okay. I-I didn’t expect to hear you say congratulations, so that’s enough.”
It wasn’t that she wanted to hear me say congratulations. Then was she hoping for something… no, that wasn’t it. I wasn’t making a judgment that Green wasn’t someone who would want more, but at least the Green I had seen so far had never wanted anything more than or similar to what I had predicted.
Then why did she ask me to stay with her for at least 5 minutes?
If what Green wanted wasn’t congratulations or a gift, then what was it?
I didn’t expect to be congratulated. I hadn’t even told the members it was my birthday. I had never thought that someone else would cherish my birthday, which I had never felt was so precious myself.
So when I heard him say congratulations, I was really surprised.
I was envious that the members had special days with their boyfriends, so I wanted to stay with him for just 5 minutes longer than usual, using my birthday as an excuse. That alone would make it a special day.
I had never celebrated my birthday before, so I didn’t know what to do. So I bought a small cake from a convenience store and asked for just 5 minutes of his time. That alone would be a big gift for the first birthday I had ever celebrated.
“It would have been better if you had told me right away.”
“I’m sorry.”
Since I had never celebrated my birthday, I didn’t know what to do. It was just an excuse to make the day a little special. But since I had done something wrong, it was probably best to apologize.
“Is there anything you want to do? If there’s anything you want, I’ll do it for you.”
“No! It’s okay.”
I thought I had already received so much just by being with him for 5 minutes longer than usual, so I couldn’t ask for more. I had already received so much, and asking for more would be a huge inconvenience.
“It’s your birthday. It’s a little hard to do something for you right now, but if there’s anything you want, I’ll definitely do it for you.”
I tried not to be greedy. If I was with him, I would surely cause him trouble, and if I was greedy, I might become dependent on him.
But the moment I heard his words, I found myself being a little greedy. Knowing that I was being treated beyond my deserts, the thought that I could make this a different, a little more special day, spurred my greed.
“Then…”
The members talked about the intimate things they did with their boyfriends. I knew it was ridiculous to wish for that. But, just a little, a minimal amount of contact, wouldn’t that be okay? Just a little. Just a tiny bit.
“Can I just hold your hand once?”
“Yes, of course.”
He smiled and held out his hand to me. I took a deep breath and, unable to let go of my tension, slowly took his hand. His soft, large hand was warm, and I couldn’t hide my smile.
This much greed is allowed, right? This much is okay, right?
Thinking so, I held his hand tightly.
I felt like I had received a birthday present for the first time today.
Today became the first special birthday I had ever had.
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