Chapter 30: [4:00 PM]
Translated by Vine
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“…..Fuck.”
Thump.
I kicked the blanket.
“Fucking bastard.”
Thump, thump.
I kicked the blanket again and again. Some of the stuffing was coming out.
“Who does he think he is? He has nothing! He’s a loser, a wimp, his stats are even worse than mine!”
THUMP!
I put all my strength into that kick. A normal blanket would have ripped, but unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, this specially made blanket was still intact, except for some lost stuffing.
“Hooo…. fuck….!”
I flopped onto the blanket and rolled around.
[Let’s hang out on Saturday.]
“………..”
His voice echoed in my head. His gaze. The way he looked at me, like he was handling a child, like how Mom used to take care of me when I was little… …No, it was a bit different.
“U…. ugh….!!”
What’s wrong with you, my crazy heart? It’s been hours since my workout, why are you racing?
‘Is it because…’
I get angrier the more I think about it? That makes sense. That bastard is so annoying. Everything he does is pathetic, ridiculous, absurd. I was so angry that I even remember what he was wearing when he first defeated me──well, not exactly.
Actually, I forgot some parts…
…But I’m confident that I remember most of it.
‘Even though I can’t remember people’s names.’
I still don’t know that, what’s his name
“U….Utopia?”
That guy next to that bitch Minerva.
And that pipsqueak next to him. To be honest, I still don’t know the names of most of my classmates. So, it’s quite unusual that I remember Juno‘s and Chrono‘s names. And Chrono is, well, how should I put it…
“…..Ugh…”
An idiot.
A pushover.
A fucking bastard.
A really, really bad guy.
“…..Hehe.”
Just thinking about him
“He…. I shouldn’t be… hehe…”
makes me smile unconsciously.
“……..*gasp!*”
Slap!
I slapped myself on both cheeks. The sharp, stinging pain seemed to snap my facial muscles back into place. ‘This is… because I’m lying down.’
When your body is relaxed, your mind also relaxes. That’s why I’m like this, lying comfortably. I sat up and leaned against the wall. Don’t lie down. Don’t lie down.
“Hmm……”
I stared blankly at the room. The empty desk. The rabbit and rat dolls sitting there.
“……Those”
were from Chrono.
“…………..”
Only to me. Two of them. Only me. Special treatment.
“…..Hehe…”
Seriously, stop it. I stood up and turned away.
“Hooo… right.”
If the things around me bother me, I’ll just look at the wall. I marveled at my own genius and started thinking again.
“………….”
But looking at the wall was frustrating. What do I even want to do? Friday night. I should be planning for tomorrow, but
“…Shouldn’t the guy be the one planning these things?”
Why am I planning the date course? Well, I didn’t call it a date. And I’m not doing this because I want to go on a date with him. I’m absolutely, definitely not trying to impress him.
“You idiot. You chose this path.”
Unfortunately, I was the one who gave him the ticket. I initiated this, so I have to see it through. Well, this is easier than making a 3-minute meal for Mars-sama.
“I’ve been on plenty of dates with Dad.”
So, a date is like…
[My daughter, shall we spar?]
[Yes!!]
First, a friendly spar.
[Kuh…! Nothing beats spicy tripe soup after a good workout!]
[Yeah! It’s delicious!]
Then, a hearty meal of soup and rice.
[My daughter, it’s time to change your bandages.]
[Dad… you’re so thoughtful!]
A quick check of weapons and equipment.
[My daughter, you know Dad always loves you, right?]
[Goodnight, Dad! I love you!]
A goodnight kiss on the cheek.
“…..Huh?”
Something’s not right. Something is a little… a tiny bit off.
“………….”
I opened my phone. I always mocked social media as something for the weak, for meerkats who huddle in groups, but
[How to Date]
“…..Eek….!”
When it comes to relationships,
“This is… a date?”
I seemed to be less than a meerkat, more like a mealworm. A mealworm, even less than a meerkat. I am a mealworm. Wriggling. Crispy. Juicy.
“….Shit.”
A mealworm. I am a mealworm. A mealworm crawling on the ground.
“I’m… fucked.”
Mars had a sudden moment of self-awareness. If this continues, I’ll end up showing Chrono my mealworm twerking. To escape from being a mealworm and become at least a meerkat with some lipstick, I frantically searched for information.
[Succeed in love with these tips!]
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“…Really?”
I watched dating advice videos.
[I… I love you.]
“Ohhh…..”
I watched some romance dramas.
[So, if you insert it like this, it stimulates the G-spot and──]
“…..*Gulp*”
I even masturbated a bit. And then…
“……Eek?!”
6:00 AM. I stayed up all night. Uh… what do I do? Nurse-nim, the YouTube dating expert, said you have to sleep well before a date.
“N-no, it’s okay.”
Yeah, it’s fine. My skin is pretty good, right? My athletic skin, toned from exercise, doesn’t die easily. I can cover it up with makeup──wait, I don’t even know how to apply makeup…!
“W-what do I do? Should I ask Dad…?”
No.
That’s not an option. My hand, holding the phone, froze. There was only one reason.
“…Double-barreled shotgun.”
If I even mention wanting to wear makeup to meet Chrono, Dad will bring a double-barreled shotgun and blow a hole in his stomach. Even if not, knowing how much Dad likes me, a single wrong word could cost Chrono his life.
‘That guy is more of an idiot than I thought.’
He said he could die even by my hand. Dad could probably kill him with a flick of his finger.
“Then… Mom?”
Yeah, Mom would be on my side…
[Mars, listen to your mother──]
[No! I hate you… I hate you the most in the world!]
[Mars──!!!]
“…..Eek….!”
…On my side, my ass. We had a falling out before I came to the academy because I threw away all the stuff she packed for me. I practically threw them at her. Thinking back, I was such an idiot. ‘I should have brought all those things…!’
The makeup, perfume, the feminine clothes. Mom tried to prepare them for me, but I rejected them all.
“……….Ha.”
Utterly doomed. I collapsed and berated my past self.
“You idiot… no, you’re just an idiot…”
Idiot…
You useless, mealworm, grand idiot…!
“….Hooo…”
After about 10 minutes of self-loathing, Mars slowly stood up, determined.
“It’s late, but”
I’ll do my best. The appointment was around 2:00 PM. Whether Chrono intended it or not, it was enough time to buy clothes and makeup.
“F-first… first…”
Go outside. After going outside, leaving the academy, then what?
“Makeup. Clothes. Hair.”
I knew I couldn’t manage everything, including nails, earrings, and accessories. If I tried to do everything, I would fail. Prioritize. Right.
“Prioritize.”
Nurse-nim said, “Life is about prioritizing, and so is dating.” If you can’t have it all, give up decisively. Secure what you can. Mars immediately stood up, put on a tracksuit, and ran out of the academy. It was around 6:20 AM. She ran out without even washing her face.
[8:00 AM Store Open]
“Ah, shit….!”
The store opened at 8:00 AM. And that was the earliest. Most stores opened at 9:00 or 10:00 AM.
“Why are they so slow?”
Don’t you want to make money? Be quicker! Be more diligent!
After an hour of waiting, tapping her foot and cursing,
“Are you… a customer?”
“You’re here!”
“Huh?”
As the store manager approached, she grabbed his shoulder and asked,
“Makeup!”
“Excuse me?”
“Please do my makeup!”
“……Huh…”
He was flustered at first, but
“I have a… date… but I don’t know how to apply makeup….!”
“…….I see.”
Nurse-nim said, if you lack femininity, admit it and seek help. The store manager, who deals with cosmetics, must be passionate about makeup. Mars, a mere mealworm before a lioness of overwhelming femininity, bowed her head. The result was
“Is this… me….?”
“I’ll only charge you for the cosmetics.”
A full makeup session, taking advantage of the lack of customers. The store manager seemed to understand the situation and said to Mars,
“If you turn left at the intersection over there and keep going, you’ll see a bakery. Turn right there, and there’s a hair salon. They’re really good.”
“….Thank you, Master!”
An inexplicable sense of camaraderie. Is this what they call──’femininity’? Mars rushed to the hair salon and repeated her previous actions.
“I have a date! Please help me!”
“Do you have an appointment?”
There was a minor hiccup, but
“I’m an academy cadet!”
“….This way, please.”
Being a cadet has its perks. A full hair and makeup session.
“See that large building behind you? There’s a women’s clothing store on the third floor.”
“Thank you, Master!”
She bought clothes based on the mannequins in the clothing store, and
[11:30 AM]
“….Phew.”
By the time she arrived back at the academy, she had over two hours to spare.
“This is what they call a human victory.”
Mars learned a lot today. She learned about ‘femininity,’ ‘makeup,’ the importance of ‘clothes’ and ‘accessories,’ and how beautiful she could be…
“….I’m hungry.”
She ate a bowl of ramen to satisfy her hunger.
“Ugh…. sleepy….”
She was sleepy from staying up all night. She usually skips morning exercise because she has trouble waking up, but after running around like this, she felt like collapsing from exhaustion.
“Just… just one hour…”
She closed her eyes, succumbing to fatigue.
“….Mmm… mmm…”
When she woke up, she felt refreshed. Her mind was clear, and she felt like she had slept soundly.
“…………….”
She was still half-asleep, but a sense of dread washed over her.
“………Ah.”
Mars looked at the clock.
[4:00 PM]
“Shit.”
4:00 PM.
[6 missed calls]
[12 unread messages]
“I’m fucked.”
Two hours late for her appointment. There was no excuse.
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Mars is so adorable.
NNNNOOOO!!!!