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How To Ruin A Love Comedy – Chapter 4

.。.:✧ A Cliché, Childish and Trite #2 ✧:.。.

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Nekorune
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“Who did you fight with this time?”

The beautiful school nurse asked.

I could see her ample bosom beneath her gown.

Her shirt strained against them. Seeing this made me want to motorboat them.

“I fought an evil villain who was disturbing the peace.”

“That’s not funny. Tell me the truth before I tell the professor.”

“Ask Hanazawa.”

“You’re telling me Hanazawa knows who you fought?”

“Yes. She saw it all herself.”

“That’s strange… If it was Hanazawa, she would’ve run to the professor the moment you tried to hit someone. Why haven’t we heard from her?”

“Isn’t the fact that she didn’t say anything proof that I was fighting a bad guy? Look around. I haven’t laid a finger on anyone around here.”

“Fine, let’s say that’s true.”

I felt it every time, but my reputation here was truly terrible.

At this rate, who knows, I might actually get expelled.

That bastard, Matsuda Ken… At least he knew better than to mess with the professors.

Even though everyone hated me, the school nurse still treated my injured hand with the utmost care, perhaps out of a sense of duty.

Looking at my now heavily bandaged hand, I looked up at the school nurse’s next words.

“You know it’ll take longer to heal if you smoke or drink, right? You should avoid doing that as much as possible.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“I mean outside of the academy too. I saw you the other day, on the street. You and your friends were drinking and smoking at a bar. The academy rules might not apply outside…”

“So, you’re saying I should stop if I want my injuries to heal faster?”

“Exactly.”

“Thank you.”

“….? Did you just thank me?”

The school nurse looked at me with wide, surprised eyes.

Smiling smugly, I wordlessly raised a hand and left the nurse’s office.

For now, the situation had been resolved… but the aftermath remained.

When Tetsuya went through this event, there were no real repercussions, both inside and outside the academy.

It was partly because, on that occasion, the groper had backed down relatively easily, and partly because Tetsuya had a good reputation within the academy.

However, that wouldn’t be the case for me.

I had beaten the guy to a pulp.

He would probably try to get back at me somehow…

Lost in thought, I was walking down the hallway, when…

“Matsuda-kun!”

Hearing Miyuki’s urgent voice calling from behind, I smirked.

Turning around, I asked,

“What now?”

“T-The principal wants to see you in the faculty office… That pervert filed a complaint against you…!”

I knew this would happen.

With a look of utter annoyance, I said,

“I’ll just ignore it.”

“What…? Are you crazy? Don’t you realize how serious this is…? A-Anyway, let’s go.”

Miyuki tugged at my clothes, struggling to get me moving.

It would’ve been nice if she had held my wrist instead.

Clicking my tongue in feigned disappointment, I reluctantly followed Miyuki towards the faculty office, making sure to appear as unwilling as possible.

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

 

“He was a groper… A shameless man who touched my thigh inappropriately… Matsuda-kun was just helping me… I’ve already told you this…!”

Miyuki was beside me, passionately defending me.

Ah… So this was why I didn’t want to miss this event.

I made the right call going to bed early yesterday.

The principal, a man in his 60s with a heavy pair of glasses perched on his nose, listened to Miyuki with a benevolent smile.

“Don’t worry too much. It turns out he has a long rap sheet. He’s been arrested multiple times for sexual harassment. His complaint won’t hold any weight.”

Relieved, Miyuki let out a sigh.

“I-Is that so…? That’s a relief… But then why does Matsuda-kun have to be disciplined…?”

“Because he went overboard with the beating. The man lost five teeth. Someone who witnessed the incident anonymously said… you tried to stop Matsuda-kun too, right? You thought he was being excessively violent, didn’t you?”

“…. Of course, I thought that, but…”

“If you, the victim, thought that, imagine how other people must have felt? They probably thought he was going to kill the man. Some students said they were scared to have someone like him at our prestigious academy.”

“T-That’s absurd…! Are you saying you’re going to discipline Matsuda-kun for the sake of the academy’s image?”

Miyuki continued to argue.

I stepped in front of her with an indifferent look and asked the principal,

“So, what’s it gonna be?”

“Two weeks of cleaning the first-year boys’ bathroom. Considering you always cause trouble, you should be grateful it’s just cleaning duty, right? You might not have meant to, but you did catch a criminal the police were looking for, and you saved your fellow student, Hanazawa. Let’s consider this the end of this matter.”

Two weeks from now, it will be summer break.

I didn’t want to clean toilets and scrub urinals until then… but there was no helping it.

Like the professor said, I got off pretty easy.

Nodding, I asked again,

“So, the complaint is completely taken care of?”

“You have my word.”

“Then that’s fine.”

“However, let me warn you, if you skip out on your cleaning duty or miss a single day, you’re out. It doesn’t matter if you acted with good intentions… you still acted with excessive violence. You’re on thin ice right now. You do realize your current standing in the academy, right?”

“I have a pretty good idea. I’ll be going now. Have a good day.”

Shrugging, I left the faculty office.

Miyuki immediately followed after me, calling out,

“Matsuda-kun! Wait a minute!”

“Can you keep it down? You’re hurting my ears with all that yelling.”

Miyuki’s upper body lurched forward at my words.

It seemed like she was about to retort, but she stopped herself and took a deep breath.

She calmed down quite quickly.

Successfully regaining her composure, she spoke calmly,

“Don’t you know what ‘you’re out’ means? It means you’ll be expelled if you miss a single day.”

“I know.”

“Then why would you say that? Are you planning on making another student do it?”

Well, making Tetsuya do it would be pretty entertaining.

“Do you really think I’m going to skip out on my duties?”

“…. Yes. Because you always do.”

“Ha… Well, you’re not wrong. But…”

I trailed off and gave Miyuki a scrutinizing gaze, causing her to take half a step back.

“W-What? Why are you looking at me like that? It’s creepy…”

“You’d be happy to see me kicked out of the academy, wouldn’t you? I really don’t want to see you throwing a party over it…”

“…. Who said I’d be happy…”

“Wouldn’t you? You’ve been dying to get rid of me.”

“I-It’s not like I’ve been ‘dying’ to… Don’t jump to conclusions…”

“So you’re saying you did want me gone?”

“…. H-Honestly, I did think that…”

What was the harm in humoring her a little? She seemed upset…

“You ‘did’?”

“Not anymore… Listen, this is a serious situation… So please come to school every day for the next two weeks… Don’t be late either… That way, the professors might see you in a better light… You want to graduate from the academy, right?”

“Me? Do I look like I care?”

“Matsuda-kun, when someone’s worried about you, at least pretend to listen instead of being so flippant.”

Miyuki suddenly turned serious.

It was time to back down a little.

After a brief silence, I responded, pretending to be subdued by her momentum,

“Alright.”

Was she surprised that I finally listened after being so difficult?

Miyuki’s large eyes widened even further.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not just saying that because you’re tired of my nagging?”

I never had any intention of skipping out on my duty in the first place.

“No. I’ll come every day. Happy now?”

“… I’m having a hard time believing you, but… I’ll trust you.”

Did she know how much strength her words gave me?

My resolve to steal her away from Tetsuya has grown even stronger.

I will gladly scrub those toilets clean for the next two weeks.

So that Miyuki would look at me and think, ‘Maybe… there’s hope for him yet?’.

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As soon as the last class ended, I stormed out of the classroom.

Making sure to glance back at Miyuki as if I was about to make a run for it.

Entering the boys’ bathroom at the end of the hallway, I spoke in a low voice to my classmates who were goofing off inside.

“Get out. I gotta clean.”

“S-Sorry… We’ll get out right… Huh…? Clean?”

They perked up their ears as if they had misheard.

With a look of pure annoyance, I retrieved a hose from the cleaning closet.

“From now on, if I find a single clogged toilet, I’m finding whoever did it and tearing them in half.”

“…”

“What, you think I’m joking? Feel free to try me.”

“W-What if we didn’t do it…?”

“I’ll still kill you. If you don’t want that to happen, tell everyone to use the bathroom properly. Keep it clean. We don’t want people feeling disgusted about having to use a filthy bathroom. Did you all wash your hands?”

“… H-Huh…? What…?”

“What are y’all still doing here?!”

“A-ah…”

After sending the bewildered boys on their way, I connected the hose to the faucet and began spraying water into the toilet bowls.

Later, as I was diligently mopping the bathroom floor,

“…Looks like you’re doing a good job, huh?”

I heard Miyuki’s voice from behind.

I knew it, Miyuki. I knew you’d come.

This was why I had acted that way before leaving the classroom.

Without turning around, I said,

“Here to make sure I don’t slack off?”

“I just… you looked like you were about to run away…”

“I’m a man of my word.”

“…. That’s good to hear… But Matsuda-kun, shouldn’t you do the mopping last?”

“Is that how it’s done?”

“Isn’t it usually done that way?”

“Well then… should I start with the toilets?”

“Yes. I think that would be better.”

Taking Miyuki’s advice, I picked up a toilet brush.

“You do realize this is the boys’ bathroom, right?”

“I know. There’s no one else here.”

“Well, get outta here. Stop being a pain in the ass.”

“I’m going to watch over you today. I need to see how thoroughly you’re cleaning.”

“I’m sure Miura is waiting for you. Don’t you usually go home together?”

“We usually do, but… as class president, I need to check on things… And you did me a huge favor today…”

“Ah, so you’re feeling grateful, huh? Then clean for me.”

Miyuki crossed her arms in response.

You can only get a clearer ‘no’ straight from her mouth.

Letting out a chuckle, I headed to the farthest stall.

And there, right in the middle of it, I saw a massive, majestic turd, and I couldn’t help but shout in horror,

“Holy shit!!”

I wasn’t acting, this was out of pure, genuine horror.

Why the hell didn’t they flush? Those goddamn bastards…

I swear, I’m going to find whoever did this and kill them.

After barely managing to push the handle down, I exited the stall, my face contorted in disgust.

“Those filthy sons of bitches…”

Miyuki, finding my reaction amusing, giggled softly behind her hand.

Turning around, she continued to giggle for a while before asking,

“At this rate, do you think you’ll be done by today?”

“Very funny. Why don’t you take a look at it yourself?”

“No, thanks. And you shouldn’t call people ‘sons of bi…’ *ahem* You shouldn’t use that word. Don’t you think you’re taking it a little too far?”

“The one who took that massive dump is the one who took it too far… Ugh… Damn it… This is so fucked up.”

“Watch your language. You sound so crude.”

Right. I’ll make an effort to fix my language if you tell me again later.

Pretending to pick my ear, I ripped off a piece of toilet paper and plugged my nose before entering the next stall.

The toilet seat was down. I had a bad feeling about this.

Having to do this for two weeks… The future seemed bleak.

But at least Miyuki was here today… I should stop complaining and focus on cleaning.

To save Miyuki from Tetsuya, I had to build a good image, even if it killed me.

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[Translator Notes]
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How To Ruin A Love Comedy

How To Ruin A Love Comedy

Score 9.8
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2022 Native Language: Korean
I intervene in all events of the game. And take it away.

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Khulmach
Khulmach
3 days ago

Truly disgusting

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