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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Xrecker
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My initial feeling towards him was gratitude.
It was only natural.
He volunteered for the arduous journey to defeat the Demon King, despite lacking divine protection.
Such resolve was admirable.
So, I was immensely grateful to the Sage for accompanying us.
That gratitude doubled during our first encounter with one of the Demon King’s subordinates. Facing a massive wyvern, its terrifying roars and shrieks pressing down on us, he had calmed us with his lute playing and singing.
And then, the healing.
He looked exhausted after that first battle, yet he still smiled.
It must have been harder for him, lacking divine protection.
More painful, as it wasn’t his mission.
So, I couldn’t help but feel grateful.
Not just for his combat support, but for all the tasks he took on throughout our journey, tasks that should have been ours.
Fighting monsters was arduous. Not just the battles themselves, but the constant maintenance and repair of equipment.
The Hero’s sword, exclusive to the Hero, was indestructible and required no maintenance. But Evangeline and I were different.
Even the finest swords dulled and chipped against monster flesh and bone, and even the best bows weakened with prolonged use.
We couldn’t afford to stop and repair our equipment after every battle. But the Sage handled it all skillfully.
Thanks to him, we could fight more effectively.
We couldn’t stop at every village during our journey. And even when we did, we couldn’t always find food to our liking.
Evangeline preferred vegetables.
I preferred meat.
The Sage always managed to prepare delicious meals with limited ingredients, catering to our individual preferences.
And whenever exhaustion set in after a grueling battle, he would play his lute, soothing our weary minds.
Throughout all of this, I felt gratitude towards the Sage. And that gratitude soon turned into admiration.
It was inevitable.
He must have been tired, in pain,
But he never gave up, always fulfilling his role diligently.
More than once, I thought that this was the true mark of a hero.
And as our journey continued, my admiration for him only grew.
The Sage never ignored those in need.
-Thank you.
-For taking care of these trivial matters.
-I’m glad.
-For making us laugh during this difficult journey.
So, I helped him.
The Sage, Hyun-woo, was so kind, almost to a fault.
He smiled no matter what was said to him, and he enjoyed helping others, even for meager rewards.
Helping the weak, saving the world.
He not only fought monsters, but also helped anyone he could, in any way he could.
How could I not admire such nobility?
And every time I saw him in action,
I became more aware of my own shortcomings.
He accomplished everything, always found the right answer, despite facing hardships.
I tried to emulate him, wanting to be like him, but all I felt was…
Exhaustion and boredom.
The more I admired him, the more grateful and affectionate I became, the more miserable I felt, knowing I could never be like him.
It was only natural.
Everyone desired rewards, and the more capable one was, the greater the reward they sought.
But the Sage was different.
He didn’t care about rewards. He only cared about helping others.
And whenever he succeeded, he would smile, a look of quiet satisfaction on his face.
As if helping others was his sole purpose in life.
So,
I envied him.
I envied his selfless kindness, a virtue beyond my comprehension.
He wasn’t wrong.
He was a true hero, almost ideal.
But…
Then what was I?
I, a companion of the Hero, striving to save the world,
Why couldn’t I be a noble person like the Sage?
The murky darkness hidden within my heart surfaced every time I witnessed his heroic deeds. And it reached its peak when the White Moon Cult, a group of cultists, attacked Silver Village.
When we had finally found a clue about a hidden subordinate of the Demon King.
We learned that the village we were staying in was about to be attacked by a group of cultists.
Powerful and dangerous individuals.
The village’s defenses were weak, and we knew the Hero’s Party could make a significant difference.
But if we stayed and fought, we might lose the clue we had just obtained.
I was conflicted.
The Hero’s Party had a mission: to defeat the Demon King and save the world.
We had to abandon the small to achieve the greater good.
We couldn’t save this village.
In the midst of this dilemma, the Sage spoke, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
He would stay and defend the village, so we should go.
Honestly,
It was impossible.
Even with the Hero’s Party, defending the village was a long shot.
We might even be putting ourselves in danger.
So, I suggested evacuating the villagers, but he calmly insisted.
That he could protect them.
That he could win.
And in the end, he did.
With a small force of soldiers, a few priests, and a single inquisitor, he repelled the cultists and saved the village.
Seeing that, I realized.
I…
Could never surpass him.
I…
Would forever live in his shadow.
He…
Unlike me, who always made mistakes, was right once again.
My admiration and affection for the Sage, my desire to be like him, fueled a burning jealousy that finally consumed me.
I resented everything about him.
-You’re always right. You’re always noble. You’re always the hero.
-Standing beside you, so radiant and bright, I feel so small and insignificant.
So, I wanted to drag him down.
To criticize him, to insult him, to torment him, until he was on the same level as me.
But he never changed.
No amount of insults, accusations, or criticisms could dim his light.
And that made me feel even more miserable, so frustrated, that he always showed the right path, always pointed the way towards heroism.
The more grateful I felt towards him, the more aware I became of my own inadequacy, and I resented him for it.
And then…
He left.
I was happy.
Because the light was gone.
I was happy.
Because I no longer felt small.
I was happy.
Because without him, that larger-than-life presence, I thought I, too, could become a hero.
And then…
I lost.
I lost the beacon that guided me through the darkness.
Only after he was gone did I realize…
What had I done?
Only after his light was gone did I realize…
That he, too, had been in darkness.
That he, too, had suffered.
And yet, he had guided us, guided me, as a beacon of light.
I broke him.
I lost him.
I destroyed him.
I…
I drove away that magnificent light.
I didn’t know what to do.
Unlike before, when I could simply look at him and find the answer,
He was gone, and I was lost.
Unsure of what to do, what to achieve,
I was left to wander in the darkness.
I searched for him.
For him, whom I had broken, lost, and destroyed.
And he, still shining brightly, saving others, never returned to me.
-Ah.
-I’m afraid.
-Because your light is gone.
-I’m in pain.
-Because your warmth is gone.
-I’m sad.
-Because my pillar of support is gone.
-And…
-I’m disgusted with myself, for driving you away.
But it was too late.
I had lost even the chance to apologize.
All that remained was a single sentence, spoken on the day he left.
That he would cheer me on as I defeated monsters.
Nothing else.
Only one path remained.
To kill all the monsters.
If I killed and killed and killed, for the path he had cheered me on…
So, I stayed on the battlefield.
I fought in the most dangerous places, I was the first to charge, the last to retreat.
I saved people, I defeated monsters, just like he had.
And yet, I realized I still couldn’t reach him.
I realized how insignificant I was compared to his greatness.
But that feeling of insignificance no longer pained me.
Because I had accepted it. Because I had acknowledged his greatness.
So… so…
“Sob-… sob-… sob-…”
Please…
Just once…
Just once is fine…
Listen to me.
Please… please…
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“Um… Mr. Sage… are you alright?”
“Hmm? I’m fine. Is the taste off?”
“N- No, it’s not that.”
I was preparing a simple meal in the command tent. I nodded at the cook’s question.
The sobbing outside was growing louder, but I ignored it.
“Here, give me more to chop.”
“Th- That’s all there is… Um… more importantly…”
“Then it’s time to start cooking.”
Meals for the soldiers stationed here were prepared in large quantities. And cooking large quantities properly earned a lot of points.
I ignored Leventia’s sobs and pleas, filled with regret and despair, and focused on preparing the soup.
“Um… Mr. Sage?”
The werewolf adjutant entered the tent. He glanced nervously at the source of the sobbing outside, then spoke to me cautiously.
“Is it… alright to leave Lady Leventia like that?”
“It’s not alright, so please get rid of her.”
“…Uh… well…”
“It’s rather unpleasant to hear that kind of noise while I’m cooking.”
Everyone in the cooks’ tent was clearly uncomfortable.
The adjutant sighed and stepped outside. Leventia’s sobs quieted down somewhat.
“Mr. Sage, why is Lady Leventia acting like that?”
“None of your business. Hand me the carrots.”
I added the chopped carrots to the large pot and heated it with a fire spell. I looked at the simmering soup and the other dishes with satisfaction.
Opportunities to earn points by cooking large quantities like this were rare. Should I visit the battlefield more often?
Anyway, the meal was ready. The cooks carried the food outside.
The soldiers, who had been eagerly awaiting mealtime, perked up.
“Sniff-…”
“That delicious smell…”
“Ugh… today’s meal is going to be amazing…”
They lined up with their mess tins, their mouths watering.
And among them,
“H- Hyun-woo.”
Claire, pushing her way through the crowd of soldiers and knights, approached me hesitantly.
“Um…”
“Hey.”
I pointed the ladle at her.
“Get in line.”
No cutting in line.
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