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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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The woman, with a petite frame around 150cm and breasts disproportionately large for her small stature, approached slowly with her golden twin-tails gleaming.
Her confident bearing and holy knight uniform – one that looked like it could have been made in the 20th century – would make anyone believe she was a holy knight.
‘But she’s a witch?’
Only then did I realize a problem with my condition. Since witches’ curses that affected everything in the world didn’t work on me, I couldn’t distinguish who was a witch and who wasn’t.
Until now it hadn’t mattered much. Given how persecuted witches were, it was unlikely that I would encountered any besides Master.
However, now it was extremely dangerous. If I showed that witches’ curses didn’t affect me without knowing whether they were friendly or not…
“…What brings a holy knight to a place like this?”
“Hmm? You’re braver than I expected?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
While pretending to look at her, I glanced at Marguerite beside me. For some reason, she was just trembling in fear.
‘What are you doing – either run away or at least tell me this witch’s curse…’
While internally cursing at Marguerite, I looked down at the witch who had approached right in front of me. She was small. She’d looked small from afar, but up close she was ridiculously tiny.
If I hadn’t known she was a witch, I might have unconsciously reached out to pat her head thinking she was cute – but knowing she was a witch, I didn’t dare even think of touching her.
Coming right up to me, she pressed her large chest against my stomach and spoke:
“You’re a witch.”
“…What?”
“Why, did you think I wouldn’t know?”
She said this with a grin. A holy knight’s smile that looked like she might execute me right here. If I were really a witch, I couldn’t have remained calm before a holy knight, the natural enemy of witches.
And of course, I wasn’t a witch.
“You seem to be mistaken, but I’m not a witch.”
“Earlier, you crushed someone’s face, didn’t you?”
“…Yes, I did.”
“I tried doing that, but couldn’t. Maybe because my hands are small? Anyway- only a witch could do something impossible even for a holy knight’s strength, right?”
She said this while flexing her thin arm. Though it looked extremely weak to me, if she were a real holy knight, she could probably easily knock down three or four logs with those slim arms.
That must be why the adventurers had run away earlier. Holy knights, with their undeniable skills despite their appearance and the massive backing of the church, weren’t opponents to be taken lightly.
“So, you must be a witch─ yet you’re brave enough not to run from a holy knight? Either you’re not afraid of me, or you have a way to escape…”
“…The latter.”
“Oh? You have a way to escape? And one so certain you can tell me about it without worry?”
“Yes, specifically─ it’s a method that will make you let me go the moment you hear it.”
“Sounds interesting. Let’s hear it then.”
The moment she gave permission, I quickly dropped my pants. As both pants and underwear came down together, my dangling member was revealed.
Before the witch who had frozen stiff seeing me suddenly drop my pants, I proudly shouted:
“I’m a man! Not a witch!”
“Wh-what─?”
“Go ahead, try calling me a woman after seeing this.”
Since she had been clinging close to me, my thing dangled at her eye level. Seeing this symbol of manhood, she stepped back away from me.
“N-no- you, what is…”
“Didn’t you ask me to prove it?”
“Y-yes but suddenly dropping your pants…!”
“Is there any more definitive proof than this?”
In this world where men couldn’t be born with mana, there were no male witches. Simply having a penis dangling meant being cleared of suspicion of being a witch.
Naturally, she who was pretending to be a holy knight wouldn’t be able to threaten me any further.
Yes, she who was pretending to be a holy knight…
“Ha, haha─ Right. How amusing. So you’re not a witch but a man…”
Having stepped back slightly, she lowered her head and started chuckling. After laughing for a while, she suddenly stopped and looked up at me.
“─This makes you even more interesting.”
Ah, I’m fucked.
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Hecaterina stepped back hastily upon seeing the thing dangling before her eyes. Though this could have been a witch transformed into a man, it didn’t feel that way.
This meant the man before her wasn’t a witch but an ordinary human, and despite being just human, he possessed strength that even witches would struggle to match.
“How interesting. You.”
Of course a witch’s forte wasn’t physical ability, and she especially, being small even by witch standards, was particularly lacking in physical prowess… but being unable to do what even humans could do made no sense.
That’s what mana was. A power possessed only by witches and monsters that granted transcendent vitality easily surpassing cognition.
“Your name?”
“Johan. And yours, Lady Knight?”
“Hecaterina. Say, would you like to become a holy knight?”
At her words, Johan looked at her with a slightly stiff expression. Then he asked her:
“…Is that possible?”
“Don’t you see this? As a holy knight, of course I can recommend others to become holy knights.”
However, he looked down at her with an expression of disbelief. Seeing this expression, she realized the man before her was doubting her.
No, beyond doubt, he must have realized she wasn’t really a holy knight. There was no need to wonder how he had figured this out. She could find out from now on.
“You─”
“Johan! Now!”
At that moment, something flew from behind her and sliced through her neck. It was magic. She confirmed this with her head that had flown high into the air.
However, she couldn’t tell who had cast the magic. They weren’t visible. As she frowned at this strangeness, even Johan who had been before her had somehow vanished.
“─Ha, hahaha.”
Having fallen to the ground, Hecaterina burst out laughing. Then she made her headless body move to pick up her head.
After brushing off the dirt from the cross-section, Hecaterina shoved her severed head back onto her neck. Blood burst from the compressed cross-section, and Hecaterina cracked her neck checking if her head was properly attached.
“Ah- hmm… It’s been a while since I attached a head, did I make a mistake? I feel like I got a bit shorter…”
“Wh-what─”
And─ seeing her pick up her severed head and reattach it to her body, a citizen trembled and collapsed to the ground.
Seeing the man pointing and trembling at her, Hecaterina approached him with a smile blooming across her face.
“Ahaha, I’ve been found out.”
“M-monster…”
“Monster? How cruel to say that to this delicate young lady. Too mean.”
Hecaterina squatted before the man and curved her lips upward. Though it was such a cute smile it would naturally make anyone smile just looking at it, the man before that smile could barely breathe.
“P-please- spare me…”
“Why? You’re talking like I’m going to kill you. Don’t you see this? The cross?”
“H-holy knight- th-then that was…”
“Yes. A miracle from God! Right? God is the one who can even resurrect the dead.”
“Th-then I…”
“I’ll let you live.”
“Th-thank- thank you. Thank you…!”
The man tried to get up believing her words. However, for some reason his limbs wouldn’t move. When the man felt something was wrong and looked down at his body─ he realized his arms and legs had fallen off.
“Ah, aah- aaaah─! Aaaaaaah!”
Though strangely not a drop of blood flowed, the man felt intense phantom pain shooting through his head. Seeing the man screaming like this, the kind witch picked up his severed limbs and threw them toward the road in the distance.
“Now then- if you crawl over there, you can live.”
“Aaaagh! My arms! My legs! Uwaaaaah!”
“…So noisy. I said I’d let you live.”
“Mmph, mmph! Mmph!”
“Ah, how did he do it back then? Was it like this?”
Grabbing the noisy man’s mouth, Hecaterina tried using the Iron Claw that Johan had demonstrated at the guild earlier.
Since it was impossible to grab the man’s face with her small hands, all she could grab was his mouth… but that was enough to quiet him now.
Crunch- crunch!
“Kuhugh! Kuhuuugh!”
With all his teeth broken and gums collapsed, the man groaned in pain while blood poured from his mouth. Terrified of worse treatment if he screamed, he couldn’t even scream properly through the pain.
Hecaterina seemed to think the state she had created was somewhat worth seeing, as she nodded and poked the man.
“Now! Get going! You’re bleeding a lot. It might be really dangerous if you don’t get treatment quickly?”
“Kuuuugh-!”
The man struggled to live. With no arms or legs he could only wriggle across the stone ground, while that witch just quietly watched him move as if truly intending to keep her promise.
After crawling for a long while, the man finally reached the main road. People walking by noticed him with shock and ran over. Finally feeling relieved, the man opened his mouth and vomited blood.
─Neeeigh-!
Seeing the man vomiting blood, a passing horse startled and began struggling. The driver lost the reins, and the horse, having thrown off its harness, trampled the man’s head.
Splat─!
One headless corpse remained alone. Watching this, Hecaterina seemed to lose interest and quickly left the scene.
The capital launched a direct investigation after finding the corpse with cleanly severed limbs.
After confirming through investigation that a witch was involved, the capital requested the church to dispatch holy knights.
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That was brutal.
Survival strategy no 1- no pants