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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Mod7
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“…What do you mean?”
“…I apologize, but I’ve done everything I can—”
“I believe I asked what you meant.”
Killing intent surged within me, but I managed to bite back the urge to lash out, instead chewing on my lip hard enough to draw blood.
The physician, who moments before had been calmly delivering his report, flinched at my expression, his face paling.
He had every right to be afraid. My face probably looked like I could kill a few people without a second thought.
“Y… Young Master?!”
But he shouldn’t be afraid. He was the family physician. He shouldn’t be giving up on Mother. He shouldn’t be so calmly telling me there was no hope.
He should be fighting for her, showing me he was doing everything he could until the very end.
“…!”
“Young Master! You can’t!”
“P… Please spare me! I beg you, Young Master!!”
I snapped back to reality to find myself gripping the physician’s collar, a knife in my other hand poised to strike.
If Ella hadn’t grabbed my arm, I would have slit his throat.
I was grateful for her intervention.
Though the news of Mother’s critical condition was devastating.
“…You may go.”
“Y… Yes!!”
He fled the moment permission was granted.
I wanted to scream at him to save her, but he’d been clear: there was no hope.
Even though he couldn’t save my mother, he was still a doctor. He wouldn’t play games with people’s lives, especially not the wife of the Duke he served.
“…”
“Young Master…”
“…Ella, can you bring other doctors from the surrounding area?”
“…Young Master, the man who just left is renowned as the most skilled physician in the region.”
“…”
“…That’s why he was appointed as our family’s physician.”
The crushing reality of the situation made me sink to the floor. Not kneel, but simply collapse.
“Y… Young Master, are you alright…?”
I’d endured so much, played the role of a scoundrel, weathered the judgment of countless people, all to ensure my mother’s safety…
“…If she leaves me like this… what am I supposed to do?”
It felt like a bright star had fallen from the sky that day.
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That evening, Lady Sariel Reinhardt, who had been lying deathly still, slowly sat up. Her body was emaciated, nothing but skin and bones.
“…”
She looked around her room. A table laden with restorative food sat nearby. Her bed linens had been replaced, now soft and cloud-like.
Such luxury was excessive for someone of common birth. But even surrounded by these comforts, she couldn’t find joy.
‘What good are these things now that I’m dying? These fools…’
She knew. She knew her time was short. The physician’s words echoed in her mind, confirming what her body already knew.
Regret gnawed at her.
Regret for the life she wouldn’t live, and worry for her son.
She hadn’t been able to provide for him as she wished, because of her commoner status.
The guilt of leaving him like this was overwhelming. The more she thought about it, the more she wanted to cling to life.
Especially now, with Jenison so vulnerable.
Others might not see it, but a mother knew. Jenison wasn’t unaffected by the judgment of others.
He might seem resigned to it, but she didn’t know how long that would last. He might break after she was gone.
‘That can’t happen… It can’t…’
But there was nothing she could do. She could barely move her own body, let alone offer her son comfort. She’d be lucky if he wasn’t repulsed by her appearance.
‘I can’t even be a proper mother to him in the end…’
She regretted not being able to provide for her children like the first wife had. She was trapped, limited by her commoner status, a pathetic, insignificant woman. That was her objective self-assessment.
“Cough! Cough!!”
A fit of coughing brought up blood. She knew, with chilling certainty, that she had very little time left.
One thought consumed her, she wanted to see her precious son. She wanted to say goodbye.
“E… Ella, are you there…?”
“…”
“Ella…!!”
“M… Madam?! Are you coughing?!”
“Go… Please bring Jenison…”
Now.
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“Mother… gasp… She really… called for me?!”
“Yes!! You have to hurry…!!”
I didn’t wait to hear more. All that mattered was that Mother was awake. And that she’d called for me.
Thud thud thud—
My frantic footsteps echoed through the mansion in the early morning hours. I didn’t care. Anyone would have done the same. This was about my mother.
Leaving Ella far behind, I reached Mother’s room and flung the door open, ignoring Ella’s cries of, “Young Master, you can’t just barge in…!”
“…You came.”
“…”
The coppery scent of blood hit me the moment I entered.
I knew that smell all too well. The smell of death, the putrid stench of decaying flesh.
“…”
“…Why that look? Come and sit beside me.”
Pat, pat—
Mother patted the bed beside her, her face brighter than I’d ever seen it. But I’d already smelled the blood. I knew she was dying, and that she was putting on a brave face for my sake.
“…Yes.”
I didn’t argue.
I didn’t want to acknowledge it.
I wanted to scoop her up and scour the world for a doctor who could save her.
But to deny her this last act of composure, this final performance of strength for her son, felt wrong.
I walked over and sat beside her, then, before she could speak, I buried my face in her chest, like a newborn seeking comfort.
“Oh my… Jenison, how old are you now, acting like this…?”
Despite her words, she didn’t seem to mind. She gently stroked my hair, and I soaked her clothes with my tears.
“…”
“…Jenison.”
“…I won’t listen.”
She stopped stroking my hair and tried to speak, but I refused to hear it. I couldn’t accept her death.
She was the first person in my seven lives to show me genuine affection. The one person who never gave up on me, despite the envy and malice of those around us.
I couldn’t, wouldn’t, accept that she was dying.
I was so desperate I would have prayed to the gods I’d cursed for so long. I’d accept another cycle of reincarnation if it meant she could live.
“…Jenison.”
“…I won’t listen, never.”
“You must listen, Jenison.”
And still, the gods weren’t there. They only mocked me from the heavens.
I looked up at Mother. Her face, now clearly visible, was ravaged.
Her once lustrous black hair was dull and lifeless. Her beautiful skin was covered in red blotches, almost like a leper.
I hugged her tighter, like a lost child begging her not to leave.
“Jenison, I love you very much.”
“…”
“No matter what, please know that.”
“…”
I didn’t want to answer. I was afraid that if I did, she would truly give up.
“…Do you know why I named you Jenison?”
“…”
“Zenith… that’s the origin of your name…”
“…”
“No matter who you become…”
“…”
“…I hope you reach that zenith, that you shine brightly.”
“…”
“I love you, Jenison. Please don’t hate me too much.”
“…I… love… you… too…”
With those words, she fell into a deep sleep. Without ever hearing those simple words of love from me.
I rested my head on her chest and wept silently. Warm, painful tears I hadn’t shed in a very long time.
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:/