Cultivating in a Cringey Erotic Novel – Chapter 1

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Chaos
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There was this murim novel.

A Deer Brand murim novel, filled with smut, where the “mu” (martial) and “hyup” (chivalry) were as cheap and tawdry as something stuck to the bottom of a shoe. [1]

“This is pure porn with a murim skin.”

I clicked my tongue in disapproval.

The explicit descriptions and constant talk of the “union of yin and yang” didn’t sit well with me.

It wasn’t that I minded a protagonist who enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh, but indiscriminate bed-hopping shouldn’t be the main focus of a murim story.

In that sense, the novel I was reading was a complete failure as a source of enjoyment.

“A protagonist needs a certain gravitas.”

I muttered, nodding to myself.

This protagonist was frivolous in word and deed; lightness permeated his every action.

The entire plot was just a constant cycle of: solve a problem, get rewarded with a woman, have sex.

Rinse and repeat.

“Damn… every single woman who shows up is a heroine.”

I scoffed.

Of course, being a murim story, there were enemies.

But even they were nothing more than experience-point fodder for the overpowered protagonist who hogged every heavenly treasure and fortuitous encounter.

And if, by chance, a beautiful woman happened to be among the enemies, the protagonist would “save” her from her wicked ways and, predictably, bed her.

“How believable is it that a demonic sect spy would fall for the protagonist who’s supposed to be her enemy?”

I shook my head in disbelief.

A plot tailored to the protagonist’s desires and an endless stream of meaningless couplings – that was the entirety of this Deer Brand smut-fest.

“Well, I read it to the end out of sheer inertia…”

I sighed, wanting to throw the book across the room.

As a fan of the murim genre, I could tolerate a certain level of indulgence, but this was just too much.

“This isn’t even a case of having three wives and four concubines.

He could field a whole soccer team with his wives alone!”

My head spun.

What had I just read?

If someone hadn’t recommended it, I wouldn’t even have touched it with a ten-foot pole.

And so, my first thought was directed at the friend who had suggested this abomination.

“That bastard’s dead meat.”

I gritted my teeth.

I’d punch him in the face the next time I saw him.

But my anger was short-lived.

Realizing it was the middle of the night, my head cleared, and sleepiness washed over me.

“First… I need to sleep.”

I sighed.

Looking at the mess around me, I briefly considered cleaning up, but the urge to sleep won out.

“Ugh…”

Even as I drifted off, a lingering annoyance simmered within me from reading that subpar murim novel.

But having been up all night, sleep quickly claimed me, and my vision blurred.

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“…I shouldn’t have read that book.”

“Pardon? What was that, Young Master?”

“…It’s nothing.”

I sighed.

In the end…

I had been transmigrated into that damned Deer Brand smut-fest.

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[1] Deer Brand (노루표) here suggests something ordinary, common, or somewhat trivial—used metaphorically to criticize the story or event as bland or cliché.

[T/N: This chapter includes an illustration. Check Discord for it.]

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