Being a Viking Isn’t Fun – Chapter 22

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Shio
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Eoforwic, the central city of Northumbria, was located in an excellent position flanked by the River Ouse and its tributary, the River Foss.

“I can tell at a glance. This isn’t a city built by Germans. It’s Roman.”

It was a shameful and self-deprecating thing to say, but let’s be honest.

We Norsemen and the broader Germanic peoples didn’t have the capacity to build such standardized large-scale fortresses in the past…

Now? Now I was here, wasn’t I? I intended to make Aros the Miklagard (Constantinople) of the North.

“The walls are no different from others we’ve encountered so far. Only the scale is the largest.”

There was a long wall stretching in front of the path we had been walking up, to the left of the River Ouse, and another wall could be seen beyond the Ouse.

It looked like two castles connected by a bridge, with the river at the center.

For now, the river was too wide to cross (it wouldn’t be a problem for me alone, but the risk was too great for the troops to cross that river), and although we’d brought a large force of 8,500, it was far from enough to surround this massive city.

However, there was no need to worry too much. It was a sufficient number to attack one side of the wall. If we could just get on the wall by any means…

What was really important was whether Aella, the Konungr of Northumbria, was actually here.

To confirm that fact, we spent a day building an encampment in front of the fortress.

The next day, while we were catching people from Eoforwic who hadn’t managed to escape and using them as laborers, plundering livestock and grain from surrounding farms, and preparing siege engines like ladders, battering rams, and lightweight onagers,

Bjorn, Ivarr, and I (who had joined at the strong insistence of my two older brothers) approached the gate that showed signs of repair here and there.

Of course, with a large shield in hand, as arrows might suddenly fly out again.

“Helgi. I hear your voice is so loud and resonant it can be heard in Valhalla. How about you step forward?”

I had naturally thought Bjorn would step forward, so I couldn’t help but tilt my head at this sudden suggestion.

“Hm?”

“Yes, Helgi. In such matters, taking the initiative is important! You’re the strongest warrior, so you should know this well? As you know, when a cold wind blows, Bjorn and I get aching knees, and when we’re about to fall asleep, we can hear the Valkyries of Valhalla calling us. So you should step up.”

“Damn it.”

I should have known. It was Ivarr again. This foolish second brother must have whispered something to the eldest brother. Like an incarnation of the Midgard Serpent, Jörmungandr…

“Fine, I understand.”

But as the youngest in a normal family, all I could do was acquiesce to my uncles-like brothers. So I gently tapped the side of my black horse and stepped forward to play the unexpected role of diplomat once again.

[Snort-]

“Whoa- Whoa-”

Sensitive creature. I’d heard that any beast with a black color tended to be fierce, but this one I was riding now didn’t seem to have much of a temper. It was just a bit sensitive.

“Ael-la! Konungr of Northumbria! Where is Aella! I am Helgi Ragnarsson!”

Indeed, my brothers’ eyesight must have been accurate, as soon a sound that seemed unbelievable to have come from my throat thundered out. “Aella! Aella!” My voice echoed, startling the beasts along the nearby riverbank.

Soon after, a white flag, not a human head, slowly rose above the wall.

[Flutter- Flutter-]

“Min jarl (my jarl)! I am Ecgberht, the Ealdorman (Earl) of Eoforwic! Aella and his henchmen are not here! We want peace!”

“What kind of trick is this?”

I didn’t know who this Ecgberht was behind the wall waving the flag enthusiastically, but Aella wasn’t here? Where could a supposed king have gone, leaving this important stronghold? Didn’t he hear about the great army coming up along the old Roman road?

“Don’t tell me they’re still in internal strife?”

Since I didn’t know exactly what was going on here, I decided to talk with this Ecgberht, the owner of the white flag, first.

“Alright, Earl Ecgberht. Let’s have a talk!”

“Just a moment, please wait!”

The fluttering flag finally came down, and at last, brown, red, and yellow heads and eyes appeared on the wall that had shown no sign of life, moving restlessly back and forth between me, my brothers behind me, and the numerous warriors lined up beyond.

‘What’s going on here…’

[Rumble- Creak-]

To my confusion, surprisingly, the solid gate of Eoforwic began to open slightly.

A moment later, what emerged from the gate that had opened just wide enough for one person to pass was a man with a massive build, sweating profusely. A body shape closer to fat than sturdy.

“It’s an honor to meet you, the renowned Jarl Helgi. I am Ecgberht of Eoforwic.”

This man with hair and beard appropriately mixed with brown and red immediately bowed his head to me with the kind of respect one would normally show to their own king.

“This is quite perplexing, Earl Ecgberht. We came here to fight you. We came to kill your Cyning.”

“If you mean Aella, that bastard is no longer our Konungr!”

When I honestly said we came to fight, Ecgberht suddenly became angry at the mention of Aella’s name. He stomped his feet with that plump body and snorted heavily.

Hiss- Hiss-

“That shameless man abandoned the devotion of our Deira (southern Northumbria) people and fled alone to the dirty Bernica (Bernicia) in the north! If you knew how much we have dedicated ourselves to that man until now, even the Lord would not be able to hold back his sighs!”

‘How is it that internal strife is happening everywhere we go?’

Even for a Germanic chiefdom where words like centralized power were unimaginable, I didn’t expect it to be this free-spirited…

“Our wise people of Eoforwic declared last night that we would no longer recognize Aella as the Konungr of Deira and Northumbria!”

Ecgberht said, puffing out his chest proudly.

“Spare our lives! We have nothing to do with that tyrant Aella! We will give you money, food, houses, even women, just listen to one condition!”

Then at his next words, I almost unconsciously grabbed my head.

“Become our Konungr!”

‘Good heavens.’

At the beginning of summer, we had taken Eoforwic.

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We had swallowed up the center of southern Northumbria, Deira, without doing anything, but the situation was not as easy as expected.

“Aella and Osberht have united? Weren’t those bastards fighting over the throne?”

Befitting the place where the Roman military headquarters had been located, our brothers had settled in the most splendid building in the square-shaped city center and were now discussing the information brought by Ecgberht, who had now become our strategy advisor (pawn).

“This might be better. It’s more convenient for us if they’re united rather than having to move to two places separately.”

Ivarr’s eyes, as he licked his lips and fingered the ring on his left hand, were like those of a snake facing its prey.

‘A Viking fingering Allah’s ring in front of an Angle wearing a cross necklace…’

Wasn’t this scene the very essence of the Germanic people? Plundering people, plundering land, plundering even the name of the empire, and even plundering religion.

This ‘what’s yours is mine’ spirit that shone with a long tradition… I must never forget it.

“Hehe. Let me explain, Jarl Bjorn.”

Ecgberht, rubbing his palms so hard that his plump chin wobbled, soon pointed at the crude map laid out on the table we were sitting around with his chubby finger and continued speaking.

“I hear they met in Bamburgh, the center of that dirty and immoral Bernica. I can almost see those two humans, who were desperate to kill each other, suddenly trembling with fear! Isn’t all this thanks to the majesty of the brave Norse warriors?”

‘This guy is remarkable in a different sense.’

Unfortunately, this desperate flattery didn’t seem to catch the interest of our commander-in-chief, Bjorn.

Under Bjorn’s gaze, which was silently staring with an expressionless face, Ecgberht cleared his throat and finally seemed to realize the nature of us Norsemen, going straight to the main point.

“According to information brought by my faithful minions, those shameless two are said to have reached out not only to Bamburgh and Edinburgh, but even to the Picts, Scots, and people of Strathclyde beyond.”

“We need not worry about the people in the north and west of Northumbria. Our ‘friends’ will soon visit them all.”

“Ah! Is that so! As expected, the Jarl has everything planned! I, Ecgberht, am simply in awe!”

The ‘friends’ Bjorn mentioned were probably referring to Olaf of Dublin (Dubh Linn), who had shown his face last winter.

Ecgberht’s appearance as he spoke with a “hehe” laugh was very despicable, but in the eyes visible within his crescent-shaped eyelids, deep anxiety was evident.

Well, for Ecgberht, it was a problem whether we won or lost now.

How could the life of a traitor be comfortable? From his perspective, our victory would increase his chances of survival, but nothing was certain in this world.

The meeting gradually heated up.

Sigurd raised his voice, saying we should go cut off the heads of those two enemy bastards right away, while Ubba argued we should wait a bit. Bjorn and Ivarr each added their opinions, while Halfdan sweated trying to mediate between the two sides.

Amidst all this, I was more interested in the circumstances of this Eoforwic and the two kings.

‘The people of Eoforwic helped Aella to deny Osberht’s rule, and now they’re using us to deny Aella’s rule.’

This showed how weak the so-called ‘royal power’ of the ‘kings’ in this land was.

Add to that the long-standing conflicts between regions and tribes, and even ethnic conflicts. How on earth did Rome rule this land? I didn’t know for sure, but many people must have died.

“Enough, enough.”

[Thud! Thud!]

“Well, Helgi. What do you think?”

Bjorn, who had forcefully struck the table in the meeting room that had turned into pandemonium due to the heated debate of five hot-blooded Viking lords, turned the arrow to me.

It was a sudden ambush, but thanks to the superior multitasking ability of this body’s brain, I was able to answer without any problem.

“No matter how heated Aella and Osberht might be, it will take time for them to gather an army capable of facing us and come down here.”

Of course, it was a fact everyone already knew, but they all listened as I calmly pointed out the important context. Ecgberht’s expression was the most noteworthy, as he had to fight with the determination to bury his bones here, unlike us Norsemen who could just run away if things went wrong.

“We have two choices: go out to meet them, or defend the fortress. In my opinion, we should first continue to assess their scale; we still don’t know much about Bernicia’s capabilities.”

In the case of Edmund of East Anglia, the uncooperative attitude of the eastern lords and his own hasty movements ruined everything, but Aella of Northumbria chose to retreat rather than face us immediately.

My brothers and Ecgberht ridiculed this action of Aella as cowardly, but in my opinion, it was closer to a strategic retreat. And then he immediately sought an alliance with his political enemy, Osberht?

This fight would clearly be the most difficult battle we would face since setting foot on this land.

“Whichever of the two methods we choose, we first need to understand the terrain of this area and prepare our defenses while pacifying the people inside the fortress… We might not have much time given to us either.”

At my serious answer, the heated atmosphere cooled down instantly.

And as if pleased with this atmosphere, Bjorn, who smiled faintly, ordered:

“Helgi is right. Knowing the terrain before going on a hunt is basic. Let’s discuss more detailed matters.”

With those words, intense killing intent swirled among us brothers as the discussion heated up again.

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Okay, seriously. Aella should just hurry up and accept his fate. Only a loser would run away after courting death (I’d definitely do the same if Helgi were chasing me).

Thanks for reading! What do you guys think about Aella’s new alliance?

As usual, for any errors, ping Oihs in the Arcane Translations discord.