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Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga – Chapter 36

.。.:✧ Cheryl Tzin Ogatorf ✧:.。.

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Yuziro
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The soldiers at the encampment did not approach us.

They merely watched the adventurers disembarking from the carriages, muttering something among themselves from afar.

They did not budge until we lined up in a row, following the guide’s simple instructions, staring into the forest.

“Guide, who are those guys?”

The Guide was checking the spacing between each person when I asked him, he gave me a blunt reply.

“Can’t you see? They’re the landlord’s private soldiers guarding against thieves.”

“They seem prepared for a war.”

“For them, guarding the farm is no different from war. Just focus on the task.”

As if naturally following military protocol by maintaining the spacing, he said that much and continued marching, demanding the same spacing from the other adventurers.

His actions did not seem rushed, but neither were they relaxed.

His tone oddly seemed aimed at preventing us from thinking about anything else, like a drill instructor’s.

“I wonder what the meaning is of lining up over 60 people like this?”

“Maybe the request wasn’t to drive away thieves, but to find a needle in the forest.”

“Looking at it, that seems plausible.”

Of course, neither of us actually considered that possibility.

Without needing to say it, we stared tensely into the forest.

Before long, after arranging everyone in a line, the guide shouted loudly.

“This quest is not much different from what everyone knows! The only addition is that we’ll run from here to the forest’s edge like this! Anyone who breaks formation or flees will not be paid!”

But what came out of his mouth was nonsense, not proper words.

Without me needing to point it out, the adventurers immediately began voicing their displeasure.

“Don’t joke around! Let’s just do what’s stated in the contract!”

“Are you kidding me? Do you think we’re idiots? What do you expect will come flying at us in the forest for that kind of foolishness?!”

“There was no mention of a command structure in the contract, so you should be thankful we even lined up for you. But running too? That’s going too far, isn’t it, guide?”

“Unlike you, we mastered walking long ago, so if you want to see us stumbling around like idiots, pay us more!”

It was an entirely natural reaction.

Even if adventurers work relatively safely in the capital, they’re still adventurers in the end.

Demanding more than the contract from those who risk their lives for meager pay was bound to provoke that response.

I expected the guide to be flustered by the intense, unexpected reaction.

But when I looked at him, rather than being flustered, he wore a meaningful smile.

“Very well! Those who follow orders and advance will receive two additional silver coins as a bonus!”

At this decision that seemed prearranged, Cheryl and I looked at each other without needing to say anything.

“That’s exactly it!”

“The man knows how to handle people!”

Unlike the adventurers, who were cheering fiercely with vicious grins, we had an intense premonition that something was deeply wrong.

An inefficient show of force? For an army, maybe.

Soldiers wearing armor and carrying shields could easily deflect arrows from average foes.

Some higher-ranked adventurers could probably do it too if paid more.

But trying that with barely copper-ranked adventurers, lining them up on a plain in front of enemies in the forest… At least to me, it meant one of three things.

Either there was firm confidence the thieves were so inept they couldn’t do anything even then, the commander on our side was an idiot, or the real target wasn’t thieves but the adventurers themselves in an elaborate setup.

The first could be ruled out since this was a second quest, meaning smaller parties had failed before, so the enemies had to have some ability.

The second seemed unlikely too.

If the guide held real command, his strange demeanor suggested he was more likely harboring ill intent than being an idiot.

And if there was a commander at the nobles’ encampment, he would have confidently put this idiotic tactic on display to observe the result.

The third just felt right instinctively.

Logically incomprehensible, this farce made me feel like moving targets in a shooting range.

“Eldmia.”

“Yes, speak.”

“The encampment seems understaffed for its size.”

Why were bad premonitions so often accurate?

Unconsciously frowning, I carefully examined the ground leading to the forest.

Soon, I discovered footprints showing many people had passed through at similar intervals.

The long trail of footprints into the forest showed signs of returning to the encampment in a similar pattern.

I wanted to believe it was simply a search party that had failed, leading them to hire adventurers.

But of course, that made no sense – no way trained noble soldiers were worse than copper-ranked adventurers.

“Is there some mysterious being that robs you of words?”

“We can only be sure by running into the forest ourselves.”

My mind struggled to accept the situation, but it clearly wasn’t my fault.

Was I really anticipating the correct outcome? Did any of this make sense?

That in this era, to give their soldiers live combat experience, they deceived adventurers and the guild, then killed clueless adventurer parties?

No matter how much I racked my brain amid the shouting adventurers psyching themselves up, I couldn’t find an answer.

Of course, if undiscovered it would be a jackpot, but how could something so blatant go unnoticed?

Even Cheryl, ranked among the highest nobility in the kingdom, was gritting her teeth at the insane course of action we predicted.

No longer looking at the forest, she gazed pensively at the encampment, likely weighing whether to proceed or withdraw.

Though I looked around, I didn’t see her knight bodyguard appear.

Did lions really push their cubs off cliffs, as the saying went?

Of course, actual lions never did such a thing, but the lion named Ekaf might not have objected to such conduct.

As a father who distinguished caring for his child from blindly doting on them like a spoiled demon, he may have approved.

“Rather than judging rashly, it’s better to see with our own eyes.”

Befitting the daughter of such a man, Cheryl’s conclusion was remarkably assertive.

An extremely reasonable judgment, but I had some doubts about whether it was worth risking our lives over.

“Your skills are good, but have you never tried evading or deflecting incoming arrows?”

“Well, it’s possible, not that it will actually happen. Even if it does, I can probably manage normal archery at least. It doesn’t seem like there will be any mana archers.”

“You have unsettling confidence.”

“You’re in no position to say that.”

I tilted my head quizzically at Cheryl’s suddenly disgruntled gaze, but she didn’t offer any specific explanation.

What was that about?

I hadn’t exactly demonstrated evading or blocking arrows, so why did she say that?

I do think I could probably evade them, but I never made a point of it.

“More importantly, my bodyguard still hasn’t appeared. Whoever it is must have judged this situation manageable for me.”

“Or maybe they just believe you’ll withdraw on your own.”

“If the situation becomes too sudden for them to react, then my dedicated butler will have to loyally sacrifice himself instead.”

In the end, I could only applaud Cheryl one time for not revealing her status to extract herself from this mess, one time for her vicious personality treating my life as her own plaything, and one more time for my own misfortune constantly entangling me in these annoying situations.

“Why are you suddenly applauding?”

“I can’t help but admire your wicked nature…”

“Charge!”

As if my applause was some signal flare, the guide’s shout prevented us from further conversation.

The other adventurers, foolish, carefree or supremely skilled, began dashing madly into the forest for two silver coins, despite the dubious circumstances.

Cheryl and I exchanged sighs.

“At least we didn’t directly face the unforeseen.”

“You’re telling me.”

Falling far behind, we walked slowly while watching the others charging recklessly ahead.

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Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga

Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga

Score 9.2
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Artist: Released: 2021 Native Language: Korean
I reincarnated into a fantasy world. Since I somehow got born again, I resolved myself to live diligently once more. But, putting that aside, my entire village burning up and disappearing when I’m 8-year old f*cking crossed the line. f*cking shit-f*cking crossed the line!

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Johnson ponraj
5 months ago

what’s happening?

Rizawl
3 months ago

Come on bro.. you know you don’t actually need the payment. You could just step aside and still see what’s happening.

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