Absolutely Do Not Touch Eldmia Egga – Chapter 21

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Yuziro
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“What in the world is going on over there!”

The city patrol showed up more than ten minutes after I sorted out the whole situation.

It wasn’t like they brought the guards with them, but the way six of them showed up together, it seemed like there was a scheduled time. Judging by their expressions, they were quite flustered by the unexpected result.

Well, instead of me, who should have been dead or beaten down according to the original plan, they got to see eight adventurers tied up like dried fish, so it made sense for them to be flustered.

After cleaning up the surroundings with the help of Alisha and the kids, I told everyone to go inside and I sat outside with the guys.

I had already finished questioning them. Abnam and the rest of the guys didn’t even dare to lie. Fortunately, what they confessed didn’t deviate much from the situation Lagnis and I had speculated.

They’d incapacitate me, kidnap Lagnis, and leave the city with the help of the patrol. After that, once they go to the meeting place in the nearby forest, their job would be done.

It wasn’t clear yet whether there was a wyvern or if they would ride horses, but that was something I could confirm with my own eyes later.

Since it was a very urgent matter, the employer displayed a high-handed attitude, telling them to execute the plan without mistakes, and went ahead to the meeting place first, so it would seem like there were no separate surveillance personnel.

If I could handle this ordeal well, there would be no problem leaving Lagnis at the inn.

Fortunately, none of the faces of the patrol were familiar to me. If there were such bastards among my acquaintances, I would have been very pissed off.

“V-violence has been reported. Looking at the situation, there’s no need to ask further. Drop your weapons and surrender. We will immediately arrest…”

“Bullshit. What arrest are you patrolmen talking about? Instead of spouting nonsense, quickly call the guards.”

“Wh-what?!”

Arresting criminals is not within the authority of the patrol. The guards are the military, the patrol is just a vigilante group working with equipment provided by the state for payment.

All they can do is provide initial response when an incident occurs and inform the guards so that the 5-minute standby team can be dispatched.

The very idea of arresting me is just nonsense to somehow smooth over the situation. That’s why I can confidently intimidate them.

“You’d better hurry before I tie you all up.”

“Are you ignoring the patrol’s orders and resisting arrest right now?”

The guy at the front spoke, and the rest of the guys drew their swords. I understand. They must be confident with their armor and swords. They wouldn’t want to get caught for their corruption either.

But unless what they’re holding is a spear that isn’t allowed to be used within the city, there’s nothing threatening.

A spear itself is a symbol of the law. It’s not for nothing that the kingdom prohibits possession of spears by anyone other than regular soldiers.

If the guards had come with spears, even if I had evidence that the guys had taken bribes, I shouldn’t have resisted. That would become an act of turning the city into an enemy.

But swords can be bought as long as you have money. It’s the most common weapon carried by adventurers. If you look around a bit at armor shops, you can easily find similar regulated armor.

That’s the difference between the patrol and the guards. In fact, the only means for the guys to prove their identity is the patrol badge provided by the city.

A patrol badge that can be easily forged if you want to.

“I just made a claim that has no legal flaws, but you’re drawing your swords? Are you guys not real patrolmen but fakes impersonating the patrol? Are you trying to pull some tricks to untie these guys?”

“Don’t talk nonsense! Can’t you see this patrol badge…”

“Anyone can forge that. There’s clear evidence that you’re not doing what you should do, so what does that have to do with it?”

The guys who were acting high and mighty faltered slightly. They must be wondering why their swagger as patrolmen isn’t working, but honestly, if they don’t attack, it will become annoying for me.

My goal is to tie up even these guys and catch the mastermind of the incident at the meeting place. Do you think I’ll let the bribe-taking bastards do whatever they want?

So I don’t draw my sword. I deliberately pretend to have a hard time and wave my hand as if I’m exhausted. Only then will the guys become arrogant and believe they can subdue me, committing misconduct.

“You’re not making sense! Since you’re resisting arrest, we will subdue you by force!”

With that, the guys put on a brave face and took a step forward.

“You fucking bastards fell for it.”

“What?”

I wrapped mana around my body, rushed in, and threw a punch. These guys were so shoddy that I didn’t even need to raise the output of mana that much.

There are several reasons why the patrol doesn’t have the authority to arrest, but one of the main reasons is that in most situations, they don’t have the ability to do so. The armor and swords they wear are close to decorations, used for intimidation.

These guys are just civilians with some strength. Since resisting the city’s authority itself is a stupid thing to do, citizens comply even if they just dress up the appearance.

That’s why they just give patrol badges to civilians who have excess energy and nothing to do, and use them as patrol forces at a low cost.

That’s why they’re so complacent.

“You law-ignorant impersonating bastards! I’ll tie you all up and hand you over to the guards!”

“Aaah!”

Even the swords they swung were shaky and slow, not threatening at all. Even the adventurers would be elite soldiers compared to these guys.

After knocking out the guys who might have broken their jaws, I shouted.

“Alisha! Levi! Tie these bastards up with the kids. Jin! Go to the guards and report this.”

After sorting out the situation like that, the kids came out of the inn and acted according to my instructions. Jin looked at the patrol with a serious expression, but asked me again.

“Will it be okay, brother? They’re still the patrol, though?”

“There are plenty of reasons. How dare the patrol try to arrest a citizen? If you tell the guards, they might even take away their patrol badges, right?”

“Hmm… But still…”

“It’s fine. Anyway, I’m going to catch the guy who bribed these bastards now. As long as they’re kept alive, it will be resolved well.”

Unlike the other flustered kids, Jin, calmly grasping the situation and started helping, he ran towards the guards after my answer. What in the world did that guy used to do?

“Eldmia. What on earth is this situation?”

Alisha asked me with an endlessly serious face, unlike usual, but it seemed right to leave this to Lagnis’s judgment.

“Levi will explain. I still have things to sort out, so I’ll be back in a bit.”

Alisha didn’t bother to stop me and ask. As she said herself, she was an adventurer once, so she was well aware of what needed to be sorted out in this situation, and I ran towards the location that the guys had told me. The most concerning part was that I had to leave the gate late at night, but when I actually arrived, there was no need to worry at all.

“Hmm? Halt! Who… What? Eldmia? Why are you here at this hour?”

“Brother Alec?”

Surprisingly, Alec and an unfamiliar guard were standing at the gate. I don’t know much about that stranger, but I definitely know how to deal with Alec.

“I was worried about how to explain, but this is fortunate. Some fucking bastards were trying to kidnap the girls at Aunt Alisha’s inn, and I beat them all up.”

“What?! Re-Remiri?! Are the others okay?!”

It’s resolved like this.

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Of course, the guys’ goal was only Lagnis, but who cares?

Faced with the danger to the woman he was interested in, Alec became furious and very favorably allowed me to go out.

“Just half-kill them!”

Leaving behind the enthusiastic response, I entered the forest appropriately. Finding a path in the forest when night had just fallen was not an easy task, but it was the same deal for the other guys.

“From the entrance of the forest facing the gate, about three steps inside… at the base… This is it. Luminous spores.”

The traces left by rubbing luminous mushroom spores were not difficult to find. The spores, which normally lose their light within an hour of being dug up from the ground, were clearly glowing, perhaps because they had undergone magical processing.

I Followed the markers that indicated the next location with arrow signs while muffling my footsteps. I soon saw an artificial campsite and firelight.

Suddenly, a sense of unease surged.

Was this a campsite that originally existed in this forest? Or was it artificially created?

Both options didn’t look good. If they had prepared in such detail to the extent of conducting a preliminary survey of the surrounding terrain, doesn’t it mean they had been aware of Lagnis for a long time?

But then why did they move so sloppily and urgently this late? Sorting out my complicated thoughts, I continued walking, and an unfamiliar voice was heard in the quiet forest.

“…what do you think will happen?”

As I narrowed the distance while trying to suppress my anxiety, I gradually began to hear the conversation the guys were having.

“…the brat was unexpectedly not easy to deal with. Lord Delt said his skills are probably on par with a trainee knight.”

“If that’s true, those idiots will all be slaughtered.”

“That’s how it is with adventurers hired for loose change. Maybe they’re ratting out our location right about now?”

It felt like the blood was draining from my hands and feet. At the same time, my instincts warned that there was no room for hesitation. I thought I was one step ahead, but the guys were having a conversation assuming I would come looking for them.

It’s a trap. There was someone smarter than me.

I wrapped mana around my whole body, kicked off with all my might, and jumped out. The noise made by brushing through the undergrowth drew the guys’ attention towards me.

“What, an animal…”

“Fuck! It’s him!”

“How is he already here?!”

A carriage for transporting wyverns. And a wyvern on top of it. One guy trying to run towards that wyvern as if turning his body. Three guys gathered around the bonfire, glaring at me with bulging eyes and trying to draw their swords.

One guy hadn’t fully turned his head yet, still showing his back. Up to that point, it wasn’t a scene that deviated much from my expectations.

But the content of the guys’ conversation proved that I was wrong.

The guys had read one step ahead of me and Lagnis. They were assuming that the adventurers would fail and I would come here. Judging from their attitude, their goal was to kill or incapacitate me when I came looking for them like this.

That means someone is still targeting Lagnis, who is defenseless at the inn right now.

Ignoring even the cold sweat running down, I drew my sword and plunged it into the back of the closest guy.

The sword tip, thrust in at a speed incomparable to usual as maximum output mana was layered on top of tensed muscles, instantly pierced the guy’s heart.

Everything could fail. I’m sorry to Asirye, but due to my inexperience, I can no longer avoid murder.

“That guy is an aura user!!”

“Damn it, he came too fast!”

The guy running towards the wyvern must be the pilot. If that guy unties the wyvern and mounts it, I won’t be able to chase him.

There was no time to even pull out the sword, so I charged forward with the pierced corpse and twisted the sword, slicing from inside the body to the side and pulling out the sword.

Three swords almost fully drawn. And one guy standing apart from the main group, unlike the two slightly close together. What should I do?

My body moved before my thoughts, pushing the corpse towards that one guy and then leaping towards the other two.

“Fuck…!”

Gripping the pommel instead of the longsword’s hilt to slash from as far away as possible, I stretched my whole body like casting a fishing rod and attempted a slash.

The sword swung with all my might to strike the necks of the two guys simultaneously shone like lightning at that moment.

“Aaaargh!”

The scream came from behind. Without even having time to appreciate the two heads falling off from the horizontal slash that had more faith than technique put into, I straightened my distorted posture and stabbed the guy struggling with the corpse I had thrown.

I used so much force to balance myself that I thought my big toe might come off, but it was effective.

“Urk…!”

Since it was a stab attempted with my whole body, I fell over with the guys.

But I was convinced that I had at least incapacitated them, so I rolled and got up, threw my sword at the guy who had almost reached the wyvern, and shouted.

“Take your hands off right now if you don’t want to die!”

-Thud!

As the sword flew like a javelin and stuck into the carriage carrying the wyvern, the startled wyvern flailed.

In the process, the wyvern pilot, who was hit in the torso by the swinging tail, rolled towards me, and I couldn’t help but let out a genuine sigh of relief.

“Ugh! Cough! Cough!”

To avoid showing that relief, I walked over with long strides, pulled out the longsword I had thrown, and stepped on the solar plexus of the wyvern pilot who was still collapsed and in pain.

It wouldn’t be painful since the purpose was just to press him down with weight so he couldn’t move.

“If you don’t tell me what this situation is right now, you’ll never…”

“I-I’ll talk! So please spare my life!”

I never thought the day would come when I’d be pleased to have my words cut off. Today just happened to be that day.

“I like your quick judgment. Untie the wyvern right now.”

“Huh?”

“I may have been fooled up to this point, but I have a brain to deduce the rest. Unless you’re bravely going to give your life for the diversion operation planned by that Delt guy, I’ll listen to your explanation on the way, so hurry up and prepare to fly.

Don’t try any tricks. I can’t kill you because you need to pilot the wyvern, but I can get rid of your fingers one by one.”

“I-I’ll do it right away!”

The plan failed. I even committed murder after boasting to Asirye. If my prediction is correct, Lagnis is being splendidly kidnapped by someone unknown right about now.

Trying hard to suppress the rising impatience and maintain composure, I mounted the wyvern following the wyvern pilot, and only one thing came to mind.

Today seems like it’s going to be a really shitty night.

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