Absolutely Do Not Touch ELdmia Egga – Chapter 151

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Yuziro
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“Ah, I understand! If you insist, Teacher, I won’t cause any further trouble!”

My voice rose, fueled by the Guild Master’s belated realization of the gravity of the situation and his hasty agreement.

I pressed my advantage.

“Exactly! This wasn’t some secret mission. Mission reports should be handled at the reception desk!”

“O-of course. You are absolutely right.”

I conveniently glossed over the fact that I had been the one to demolish said reception desk.

“Now then, Guild Master, let me ask you properly. What exactly did those scoundrels, those swindlers who arrived yesterday, report?”

“Well… they reported that there were signs of an attack on the village by an unidentified group, and that during their further investigation, your party… fled.”

“You believed them when they said they fled after simply observing the situation, without any actual combat?”

“W-well, people can panic under extreme fear and stress.”

“Ah, panic.”

I mimed putting an arm around the Guild Master’s shoulders in a friendly gesture.

With an exaggerated expression of astonishment, I pointed at Ginh with my free hand.

“A dwarf… panicking…?”

Then, slowly shifting my gesture towards Yekaterina, I asked again,

“The great warrior of Riviel, who wields a warhammer the size of a siege ram with ease, a weapon that even an Aura-awakened warrior would struggle to lift… panicking…?”

This being a diverse world, prejudices and discriminatory remarks varied between races, as did the resulting insults.

Among the most dangerous was to dismiss the mental fortitude of dwarves and Riviel warriors.

Such remarks could lead to a variety of skull-splitting repercussions.

With all eyes on us, a slip of the tongue could have dire consequences.

Even in his flustered state, the Guild Master should have known better than to insult the party standing right behind me.

Of course, Yekaterina wasn’t a great warrior of Riviel, but if the opponent was going to resort to blatant slander, it was only polite to respond in kind.

I confirmed that people’s attention had successfully shifted to Yekaterina, who was trying to suppress a grin while crossing her arms.

I tightened my grip on the Guild Master’s shoulder and muttered,

“Bullshit. That’s ridiculous. They’d go berserk before they’d panic. Ah, I wasn’t talking to you, Guild Master. I was referring to those swindlers who should be rotting in jail. Isn’t that right?”

“O-of course. Y-you’re absolutely right. There must have been a huge misunderstanding.”

I could sense it.

This guy was hiding something.

On our way here, while switching positions, Gaendal had filled me in.

Those swindlers had correctly guessed the identity of the Hawk’s Talon mercenary group and fled.

Yet, they reported it as an “unidentified group”? They should have been exaggerating the threat, not downplaying it.

“We sincerely apologize for our inadequate handling of this situation…”

“…And you’ll offer appropriate compensation, right? Of course, I never doubted that for a moment!”

I stepped back from the stammering Guild Master, spread my arms wide to recapture the crowd’s attention, and said cheerfully,

“Trying to brush off such a serious mistake with empty apologies is something only bandits would do! You almost tarnished the reputations of highly skilled adventurers, adventurers on the verge of becoming self-sufficient! And it was all due to the guild’s negligence! Isn’t that right?!”

“O-of course… We will compensate… compensate you for the… the inconvenience.”

Trying to smooth things over with a simple apology? Think again.

I patted the Guild Master’s back with feigned enthusiasm, and his already pale face turned ashen.

He seemed to think my rant was over, however, and subtly shifted the conversation.

“About that mercenary group you mentioned… you said you eliminated them…?”

The question was laced with a strange hope.

It was too late to be optimistic about the mercenaries being gone.

His reaction didn’t match his earlier attitude.

“Of course. The victims here are witnesses. And since we couldn’t exactly dispose of the bodies, they’re still there. You can go check for yourself.”

“Every last one of them?”

See? He should be asking what mercenary group it was, not whether they were all dead. He even seemed strangely hopeful. He must be involved somehow.

“No. I spared one. We need a witness, right?”

“R-right? Of course, a witness is essential. The guild will work with the city to handle the matter! So, where is this witness…?”

“Hahaha. It’s good to see such a sense of duty. But don’t worry. He’s already been sent to the capital via wyvern.”

Smiling brightly, I delivered the final blow.

“There’s evidence linking them to a conspiracy against the crown. That’s why I had to rush here from the capital myself. I sent him back on the same wyvern I arrived on, so he should have arrived by now.”

The life drained from the Guild Master’s face as his eyes widened in shock.

The conspiracy was one thing, but the casual mention of personal wyvern travel seemed to have broken him.

Judging by the reactions around us, people were struggling to reconcile the image of a common adventurer with private wyvern transport.

He was probably already concocting elaborate theories about my powerful backers.

Too bad for him, Eldmia Egga’s only backer was Eldmia Egga.

A Matryoshka doll of self-reliance.

“C-conspiracy against the crown?”

“Yes. Treason. Rebellion.”

The royal family probably wanted to handle this quietly, showcasing their competence after the fact.

But I didn’t care.

They tried to use me without a word, so we were already on bad terms.

I would use them right back.

I spoke loudly, and as expected, murmurs spread through the crowd of adventurers like a plague.

“He surrendered and cooperated, so I spared him. The deputy commander of Hawk’s Talon… what was his name again? Something that sounded like a card game… Gwens? Anyway, after a brief chat, I don’t think he was lying to save his skin. He should lead you to the other conspirators.”

I patted the Guild Master’s shoulder “reassuringly,” but he flinched, his eyes still shaking.

“Your request, Guild Master, and the one from the Riviel officials, inadvertently provided a great opportunity to expose these traitors. You should be proud of your contribution to the kingdom!”

Most adventurers, despite their lack of national loyalty, enjoyed a good story about villains getting their comeuppance.

This was a classic tale of good versus evil.

As expected, the adventurers cheered, celebrating the downfall of the bad guys.

“Wow! The Guild Master actually did something good for once!”

“Talk about a lucky break! Good job!”

“Damn rebels! Good riddance!”

Their genuine reactions were heartwarming, but the Guild Master remained frozen in despair.

He was shielded from most of the crowd by my bulk, but anyone who saw his face would know he was guilty of something.

He looked guilty, but whatever his crime was, it had nothing to do with me.

I leaned in and whispered in his ear,

“So, you can either fix this mess right now and go upstairs to do some damage control, or get shipped back to the capital on my wyvern. Your choice.”

I simply offered him the best options available to a guilty man, but the Guild Master reacted as if I were a secret royal agent.

He snapped out of his stupor and hastily processed our request.

With the situation resolved in a flash, we collected our reward and escorted the refugees out of the guild, basking in the admiring gazes of the other adventurers.

Once outside, we turned to each other and burst into laughter.

“The Guild Master’s face! Priceless!”

“Eldmia! Where’s the script you were reading from?! That was some impressive improvisation!”

“Ha ha ha! That was the best show I’ve seen in ages. You’ll never starve, even if you quit adventuring.”

We roared with laughter, and Yekaterina clapped me on the back so hard I choked.

“That was a great performance, but that thug routine was embarrassing!”

Asirye, her face flushed, seemed genuinely mortified.

Everyone else, however, was thoroughly entertained.

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[Man i cought covid… still had enough energy to tl tho, hope you like it]