Absolutely Do Not Touch ELdmia Egga – Chapter 116

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Yuziro
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Luserik was the spokesperson and agent of the Noble Council.

That didn’t mean he was some incredibly important figure.

He considered himself, and the nobles of the Council considered him, little more than a walking letter.

The difference between him and ordinary spokespeople was that he was a very high-quality letter, capable of satisfying both the sender and the recipient.

And he was a letter with a designated recipient, one that only a single person could use.

It might seem trivial, but based on this fact, Luserik took pride in his job and worked diligently.

“Since the opportunity has presented itself, invite him and bring him here.”

That was until just a moment ago.

“If I have committed any wrongdoing, I implore you to grant me one more chance, Your Excellency.”

A letter delivers its contents; it doesn’t think.

He would confidently deliver the words of the Noble Council without any personal opinion, regardless of the content.

Even if he had personal complaints or reservations about the letter’s content, he wouldn’t show it outwardly.

However, suicide was a different story.

Even if the person who uttered those words was the most influential member of the Noble Council and one of the only two dukes in the kingdom.

“What a strange thing to say. Your work has always been satisfactory. If I were to weigh you against the imbeciles who infest the Noble Council, I would choose you without hesitation.”

The elderly man with the monocle turned from the window, smiling as if surprised, but Luserik couldn’t help but consider his true intentions once more.

Duke Lesrom Zrasil Tsin Lawinera.

Even past seventy, his posture remained unyielding, showing little trace of age.

He was the core of the Noble Council, a figure like an ancient tree, and his words always blurred the line between jest and sincerity.

“Don’t be so wary. We’re friends who can talk. You know why he’s causing such a commotion, don’t you?”

“I know it all too well, which is why I’m afraid.”

Indeed, Margrave Levien was under temporary confinement.

Even if she had truly plotted treason, calling her a criminal before a trial was held and without concrete evidence was an insult.

Anyone who served alongside knights, especially those in noble society, knew this.

They knew that such an insult could lead to bloodshed.

The Noble Council was, in fact, at a loss for words regarding this unprecedented situation, caused by the inevitable decline in the quality of their private soldiers due to the seven-year war.

As a spokesperson and agent, he wasn’t afraid of the chaotic situation that had unfolded.

Such situations had always arisen during the ten years Luserik had served as Duke Lesrom’s spokesperson.

The crux of the matter was that the other party had used this as a pretext to, without a moment’s hesitation, take twenty lives.

Even if it was justified and legal, he had drawn his sword against the entire Noble Council.

He wasn’t some fairytale hero.

How many knights in the capital were capable of such a feat?

It was just his guess, but he could count them on one hand.

Duke Lesrom, having accurately read Luserik’s anxiety with just a few words, let out a hearty laugh and confirmed his thoughts.

“Don’t worry. I hear he hasn’t even gone up to the second floor yet, despite all the killing. He’s doing that because if he goes up, Margrave Levien might be falsely accused of attempting to escape out of fear. He never swings his sword without reason. And I believe you can bring him here safely.”

Duke Lesrom didn’t speak of things he didn’t know.

Therefore, Luserik believed that his certainty was based on inferences drawn from reliable information.

Although he had no way of knowing where that information came from or why the Duke had taken such an interest in someone who, before the visit to the Empire, was barely known, such trivial details didn’t matter to Luserik.

“Then I’ll bring him.”

He was, after all, a letter.

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Come to think of it, back on Earth, I practically lived with a cigarette in my mouth.

I smoked cigarettes easily bought at convenience stores, but my preference was for pipe tobacco, which was harder to find.

Even though it was a hassle to manage, the nicotine hit was the same, and the taste and aroma were incomparable, making the extra effort worthwhile.

It was all bad for my health, but my life felt like I’d die from stress before lung cancer got me, so it didn’t matter.

Because during the time I smoked, I could completely immerse myself in a sense of relaxation.

Perhaps because of those lingering memories, I really craved a cigarette now.

In other words, I was stressed.

Rampaging legally was fine, but damn, I hadn’t expected this level of widespread ignorance.

“This world is truly tiresome.”

Twenty, no less.

Twenty idiots who, ignorant of the law, had immediately resorted to swinging their swords and spears and ended up dead.

And that was after excluding the prison guards I had killed first.

Lagnis, upstairs, was probably going crazy wondering what all the commotion was about.

If I went up there without following proper procedure, it was obvious they’d slap me with false accusations of rebellion or whatever, so all I could do was wait down here and pray that this time, I’d encounter someone reasonable.

I considered yelling and trying to reason with them, but there were too many onlookers, so I decided it was better to hold back for Lagnis’s sake, to maintain her dignity.

“Make way! Noble Council! This is not a spectacle, so everyone clear out!”

In a world where even public executions were treated as entertainment, wouldn’t twenty-four headless corpses be quite the spectacle?

Seeing them approach from afar, I wondered if I should start preparing.

As I loosened my wrists and ankles, a man in civilian clothes, the only one not wearing armor, appeared with about ten soldiers.

“I am Luserik, a spokesperson and agent of the Noble Council. Sir Eldmia Egga, would you be willing to sheathe your sword and have a conversation?”

The man with neatly trimmed dark auburn hair appeared to be middle-aged, yet he showed no hesitation in politely greeting me.

Grateful that he had arrived just as I was growing tired of unilaterally producing headless corpses, I asked him the same question I had asked the twenty imbeciles.

“Do you know anything about the law?”

This was the fifth time I’d asked this question.

Perhaps my earnest prayer for understanding had finally been answered, as the man nodded and replied.

“Of course. I’ve been briefed on the situation and understand that your actions were justified. On behalf of the Noble Council, I apologize for the rudeness of the soldiers and have been instructed to grant you permission to visit Margrave Levien, who is currently under temporary confinement.”

As he answered, he gestured, and the ten soldiers, displaying a markedly different discipline from those who had been cut down, focused on dispersing the onlookers.

“And separately from that, I’ve also been instructed to extend an invitation to you to visit the Noble Council.”

“An invitation in this situation seems rather inappropriate, doesn’t it, Sir Luserik?”

Knowing what kind of tricks the Noble Council might pull, why would I crawl into their den after all this…?

“Please, just call me Luserik. You’re right, but the invitation comes from His Excellency, Duke Lesrom Zrasil Tsin Lawinera. I assure you, no one can harm you, and he has no intention of harming you, Sir Egga.”

…I guess I have no choice but to go.

“His Excellency… the Duke?”

“Yes. He requested it personally. Of course, this is after you’ve concluded your business with Margrave Levien.”

I distinctly remembered there being two dukes in the kingdom, one old and one relatively young.

And one of them was looking for me.

I was quite the important person, it seemed.

Well, I had met the Imperial Princess, so what was a duke compared to that?

“Alright then.”

Since I had only waited for the sake of formality, I casually wiped the blood off my sword with the corpse’s clothing, sheathed it, and went up to the second floor.

Hearing the faint sounds of Luserik directing the soldiers to clean up behind me, it seemed he didn’t have any other urgent business.

And as expected, I knocked on the door of the only closed room on the second floor, which contained only a couple of rooms, and opened it.

“Don’t go downstairs. It’s a mess.”

Lagnis, sitting in the solitary cell with only a small window and a bed, replied with an incredulous look.

“You say that after causing this commotion?”

It must have been quite noisy, as she seemed to have already grasped what had happened.

“Commotion? I simply fought back after repeatedly advising and warning a commoner who called a noble, who is not a criminal, a criminal, and he refused to listen. Even the other side admitted it.”

“The other side? The Noble Council? Are people from the Noble Council here?”

“Yeah. A guy named Luserik came. A spokesperson or something?”

Since there wasn’t even a chair for a guest in the cell, I leaned against the open door with my arms crossed, and Lagnis’s gaze towards me was clearly disapproving.

“Luserik is Duke Lesrom’s direct agent. Duke Lesrom is the head of a faction.”

“He invited me to meet him, so I guess I’ll have to go after this.”

“…Sigh. I’m too tired to be surprised anymore. Why are you so calm…?”

“What’s the big deal? I met the Imperial Princess while in the Empire. I can’t be intimidated by a duke now.”

Lagnis, looking as if she desperately wanted to shake her head, ran a hand over her face with a weary expression and stared at the floor.

“Don’t draw your sword at the Noble Council, no matter what happens.”

“I’ll only draw it if my life is in danger.”

“That goes without saying.”

Since I believed this was merely an entanglement in an absurd situation, not a dangerous one, I didn’t offer any words of comfort.

Instead, I grumbled about the solitary cell and promised to see her tomorrow before heading back down to the first floor.

I considered telling her what Renisa had said, but since she would undoubtedly visit again after speaking with the head butler, I just gave her a brief heads-up.

Then, leaving behind the soldiers who looked back and forth between me and the surrounding corpses with complex expressions as I descended almost immediately after going upstairs, I headed towards Luserik.

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[Law abiding citizen frfr]