A War Hero With No Regrets – Chapter 41

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: FusionX
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It was a suffocating daily life.

Every night, she cried herself to exhaustion and fell asleep, and in the morning, she woke up in a bed full of tear stains.

Even then, she would blankly stay for a while, and only when Julia Anke came to pick her up would she start preparing for work.

The human heart was like a wooden chopstick.

It could be broken just by lightly flicking it with a finger.

In the midst of that, even if she took out a new chopstick while steeling her heart, it would quickly break again.

A life of confirming her will every morning and having her will broken every night.

Even if she pretended to be indifferent on the outside, her inside was rotting and crumbling.

Although she tried to hide that pain in her own way, it wasn’t to the extent that the people around her couldn’t notice.

Especially if it was someone who particularly cherished her.

It was thanks to Julia Anke that Lea Gilliard decided to meet with the people from the Graveyard.

Originally, she had no intention of going.

They were close people, and she always had grateful memories of them, but they were triggers that made her vividly recall memories with Luthers Edan.

If she went and suddenly burst into tears, there would be no turning back.

She remembered when she first regained her memories.

It was a terrible memory.

It was even more so because Luthers Edan, who had shared that pain and embraced her, was not by her side.

She saw the sights he had seen.

She glimpsed the world beyond death, which she normally wouldn’t have been able to see.

It was so brutal and miserable that it made her want to vomit, and just recalling it felt like her brain was being forcibly kneaded.

Luthers Edan had been doing this forty times.

Even though he could have thrown everything away and run away.

Or even if he became numb to the point of being numb and sacrificed them without giving his heart to anyone.

No one would have been able to blame him.

However, Luthers steadfastly shouldered his duty.

Silently accepting everyone’s criticism and curses, in order to give them peace.

There was a heaven and earth difference between simply knowing death and fully feeling the emotions derived from that death.

For Lea, who had opened the Pandora’s box that her beloved lover had kept tightly hidden until the end, it was also something she had to fully bear.

-I don’t want to go….

-No, Lea. Go. This is an order. Do you know what state you’re in right now? The light has disappeared from your eyes.

-That’s just because I’m tired….

-Is it normal for a tired person to cry all night without being able to sleep? You’re very broken. I don’t know what happened on the day you received that strange text message and letter, but… Still, no. Go. Go and clear your head a bit.

However, Julia Anke pushed her out even by force.

It was because she looked precarious.

It seemed like she would suddenly leave at any moment.

Every morning when Julia headed to Lea’s quarters, she was afraid of finding her ankles hanging in front of the door.

Just then, she happened to hear the news that the members of the Graveyard were gathering in the capital.

Since Lea had always expressed special affection for the people of the former fortress, including Arwen Orka, if she went there, wouldn’t she be able to heal her tired mind and body a little?

That’s how the schedule was decided.

Of course, contrary to Julia’s thoughts, Lea Gilliard wouldn’t die.

It hurt enough to want to die, and she actually thought about it a few times, but suicide couldn’t be atonement.

Luthers Edan didn’t leave because he hated them.

Rather, he left because he loved them.

He thought that his existence was becoming a shackle to his lovers.

At the same time, he must have been tired too.

How many deaths did she face during the forty regressions?

Each time, Luthers must have held her corpse and wailed, and in the next cycle, he must have vowed never to do it again.

While starting a new life forty times.

Lea realized.

The fact that it was Lea herself who had become Luthers’ shackle.

Even if a lover dies, you can just move on.

The world was wide and there were many people.

Someone like Luthers Edan would be able to meet a woman who was much prettier, younger, and more capable than her.

Not like now, throwing away all his glory and disappearing, he could have glorified that glory as a renowned war hero.

If it was the Luthers Edan that Lea Gilliard knew, he could have achieved humanity’s victory even without the people of the Graveyard.

Definitely!

But Luthers chose regression every time.

The very person who said that if you’re alive, you can move on to the next stage.

When Lea and the others were killed, he ended his life without a moment’s hesitation.

They were all saved.

Luthers Edan, who twisted the future fixed by the result of ‘death’ to the very end.

The person who was destined to die definitely ended up surviving, so what could this be called if not salvation?

In order to atone, she had to stay alive.

She had to live and suffer.

Just quietly watching her former lover living happily where they couldn’t see, shedding bitter tears.

“Yes, that’s right.”

So she had to move forward.

Even though it was scary that Luthers wasn’t by her side.

Even though the expression he made whenever he looked at her was sad.

Even though pain pierced her chest with every breath she took.

She had to move forward.

That was the only way to reciprocate the love Luthers had bestowed upon them until now.

It could be said to be a sincere gratitude towards the lover who had finally achieved humanity’s salvation.

Lea Gilliard stood in front of the mirror and tidied up her outfit.

***

Lea Gilliard boarded the train heading to the capital Hoenbaren.

It was also because the workplace of Charlotte Evergreen and Drake Brown, who had organized this gathering, was in the capital.

Of course, Arwen Orka was currently touring the Southern Military District.

Still, since the location of the Inspection Department itself was under the Supreme Command, she would also be able to attend without difficulty.

[This train is a direct train from Branberg to Hoenbaren. The time taken to reach the destination is 5 hours.]

[The train is departing.]

Clatter clatter.

The train that departed from Branberg station like that passed through the plains that had become bare as winter approached and quickly passed through several cities.

Lea Gilliard simply enjoyed the scenery outside the window.

In the past, she would have made a fuss and taken pictures.

She would have also chatted with the person sitting next to her.

But now she wasn’t in the mood for that.

Her fingers, having lost their destination, fidgeted.

A desperately yearning voice lingered in her ears.

-When everything is over, let’s go on a trip to the capital.

-Really?! I’ve never been there before! Let’s go, let’s go!!

Luthers Edan affectionately stroked her head as she jumped up and down, looking at her with a satisfied gaze.

-I’m sure you’ll like it. You like enjoying the scenery, don’t you?

-Well, as long as I can be with Luthers, I’m fine with going anywhere. But it’s a promise. Don’t bring Sister Arwen. Just the two of us going? Definitely! Definitely!

They had promised to go on a trip to the capital together, but she was alone now.

Realizing that fact, Lea Gilliard simply bit her lip tightly.

There was definitely someone who used to warmly hold this hand.

There was someone to lean on their broad shoulders and fall asleep, and there was someone to share silly conversations and smile with.

[The train will soon arrive at the capital Hoenbaren. I repeat. We will soon arrive at the heart of the Empire, Hoenbaren.]

[Passengers, please wait until the train has completely stopped…]

Lea turned her head and looked at the path leading to Hoenbaren.

The cityscape vaguely visible beyond the horizon was indeed very beautiful, as they said.

The city that had hardly been affected by the aftermath of the war and retained all of the Empire’s glorious history.

But apart from being pretty, there was no impression at all.

What was the point of all this scenery without him by her side?

Whoosh—.

As the train entered the tunnel, the blue sky soon turned into pitch-black darkness.

In the reflection of her eyes through the window, tears had already formed and were falling down her cheeks.

***

“Hey, Lea. Over here.”

Downtown Hoenbaren, the capital.

Lea Gilliard faced the bear-like man waving at her.

Drake Brown.

Until she arrived in the capital, her mood wasn’t very good, but Lea unknowingly burst into laughter at that familiar sight.

“Drake!”

When was the last time she smiled?

Ta-da-da, she quickly ran and hugged Drake with all her might.

“Oh my, why are you so excited? If you were going to be this excited, you should have contacted me in advance.”

“I’ve been busy lately. Ah, right, are you okay? I saw the news article. The Brooklyn Tragedy.”

Even a month later, every communication medium was talking about it, so even Lea, who had been disconnected from worldly affairs, couldn’t help but know.

“Yeah, I was there. Fortunately, both His Excellency the President and I were safe, but you know. Ah, right, Lea, you know what? I saw someone there…”

Drake, who had been talking with a chuckle, suddenly stopped abruptly.

“Ah, no. Let’s go in first. It’s cold outside too.”

“…? Alright.”

Drake wiped his forehead with his hand and guided Lea inside the restaurant.

And there.

“Lea, long time no see. Have you been well?”

Arwen Orka was smiling and looking at her.

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