Fated to Die in an Academy Novel – Chapter 138

—————————————————————–
Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: JayM
—————————————————————–

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

I came back to my senses, and the first thing I felt was dizziness, followed by an indescribable discomfort.

My memories returned, but I wasn’t happy at all.

I finally understood why the Authority so desperately tried to stop me from seeing the memories beyond the noise.

Was I really crazy?

I wasn’t a child anymore, yet I threw such a tantrum, destroyed a world, and then, feeling guilty, regressed.

Was that something a normal person would do?

…Well, I guess I wasn’t in a normal state back then.

I was psychologically compromised, and she chose the insane method of brainwashing to alleviate my burden, so I could probably claim diminished capacity.

But what I did was too much to be excused.

Regression.

I transmigrated and regressed. If I reincarnated, it would be a triple crown.

My memories returned, but it still didn’t feel real.

But it made sense. Come to think of it, it was strange.

I thought I had transmigrated into a novel with hazy memories, but for some reason, I felt the urge to help Lilac at some moments.

And my mind went blank whenever someone was about to die.

Even the desire to kill the villains and let the others live a more enjoyable life were remnants of my emotions after regressing.

A bitter taste filled my mouth.

It felt like everything I had done so far was being denied.

“…Are you alright?”

-What happened? You went to see your memories? How were they?

…It seemed like I was the only one who saw the memories this time, and I didn’t know how to explain it.

My sins were too great, and I couldn’t think of a way to atone for them.

“…This is why I thought it was okay to be ‘donutted.’”

I didn’t have these memories back then, but the emotions remained.

It wasn’t that new emotions were created after I saw those memories, but that the remaining emotions were amplified instead.

What I felt towards them was a guilt stronger than affection.

I mistook that guilt for goodwill and acted all high and mighty. It was beyond embarrassing. I was on the verge of self-loathing.

“…Are you really alright? I’d be ashamed to face the Demon King if something happened to you.”

“…I’m okay.”

Surprisingly, that wasn’t a lie.

Even though I had recovered almost all of my memories, my emotions calmed down quickly, just like when I saw a fragment of them.

How should I describe it?

It felt like the emotions I felt while watching a sad movie or play were slowly fading away after the show ended.

I wasn’t sure if this was the effect of the Authority, like what it does with the noise, or if it was because of whatever held onto me in the last scene of my memory, or if I was just a bastard and as such was unfazed.

But one thing was certain: what I had to do hadn’t changed.

I would prepare to prevent this world from being destroyed, and I would help the others enjoy their youth.

And when I had prevented everything and they were happy enough, I would apologize.

I wouldn’t be buried in guilt and break down. If I was going to do that, I wouldn’t have come back.

“I’m really okay.”

Who was I saying that to? Sun Wukong? The Succubus Queen? Or myself?

I had wallowed in self-pity for more than enough time.

I had to end the dream world now and return to reality.

The only thing I was worried about was whether I could face them again and act as I did before.

That was the only thing I feared.

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

My body wasn’t as heavy as I thought.

Well, only about thirty minutes had passed in real time, so it would be strange if my body felt heavy.

I slowly opened my eyes and sat up. The surroundings were quieter than I expected.

“So-hyun!”

Until I fully opened my eyes, that is.

I immediately saw that I was surrounded by people.

I was scared.

I was scared to look up, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see them as I did before.

Afraid that my calmed emotions would stir again.

Afraid that I wouldn’t be able to see them, who have become so precious to me, as friends anymore…

The shadows deepened.

That meant they were getting closer… wait, they were too close.

Just as I had that thought, a soft mass of flesh enveloped my face.

“Mmph…!”

…The texture was soft and strangely firm, and the sweet scent of a woman filled my nose.

I didn’t know the professor used coconut oil-scented body wash. First time for everything.

It didn’t take long for me to realize what it was.

Yes, it was Professor Cathy’s chest.

“What are you doing!?”

Damn it, I was so surprised that the atmosphere and my mood were shattered. Asking a depressed person “Do you want to touch my breasts?” might be a surprisingly effective method.

But when I looked up, Professor Cathy and everyone else were looking at me with worried expressions.

“So-hyun, are you really okay?”

“No, I’m fine. Are you okay, Professor?”

“Yes, I’m fine too, So-hyun.”

…You don’t seem fine.

“You were the last one to wake up. We were all very worried.”

“Do you know how worried we were when you were the only one who didn’t wake up?”

Lilac and Ha-ni approached me one by one.

Seeing their faces didn’t make me feel unbearably sorry.

It was more like a resolve to treat them better from now on.

Ga-eul, who had been looking at me with a suspicious expression from a distance, rushed over the moment our eyes met.

“Are you really not sick?”

I let her die back then, but this time, I was able to save her.

She was proof that I hadn’t lived a wrong life after regressing.

“I’m glad.”

“…What?”

I stood up, leaving Ga-eul to tilt her head in confusion.

She wouldn’t understand. I didn’t even understand my own feelings yet.

I turned my head and my eyes met Yoo-na’s, who had followed Lilac.

“The others are too worried about you to think straight, so I’ll tell you. It’s over.”

I checked several times, but there was no disgust in her eyes.

“Really? What happened?”

“The villains who caused the terrorist attack were caught, and the Cheon-hwa Group will compensate for the damages.”

“Cheon-hwa Group? Because the incident happened at a party they hosted?”

No, more importantly, they caught the villains?

“Yeah, it was only for a few minutes, so there wasn’t much backlash. It seems not everyone had nightmares.”

“What do you mean, you caught the villains?”

This time, Ha-ni answered.

“I don’t know. They said that they were executives of the Twelve Zodiacs or something.”

…Aha. The boss was taken by that red-haired woman back then, and I took care of the main force, but there must have been some remnants left.

I didn’t know what they were trying to gain by cooperating with the succubi, but now, even the remnants must have been wiped out, so the organization known as the Twelve Zodiacs was truly finished.

Come to think of it, I also pretended to cooperate with the Twelve Zodiacs and then backstabbed them and took a bunch of their stuff back then. I didn’t feel sorry for them at all.

I briefly recalled the faces of the rude elf bastard and the girl who kept saying “Do it for me!” and decided to stop.

Those two deserved to get backstabbed.

“So, are they wrapping up the incident and ending the party?”

“Huh? No.”

“Hmm? They’re not done yet?”

“No, it’s not that…”

Ha-ni pointed up as if telling me to look, and I saw a beautiful Pegasus flying in the sky.

…A Pegasus? A Heavenly Horse?

“…What’s that old man doing up there?”

“He said it’s entertainment before the party resumes.”

…What kind of crazy talk was that? Even if there was almost no actual damage, they were going to continue the party after all this?

The Pegasus, which had been flying gracefully inside the building, transformed into a winged man when it saw me wake up.

“Now that our last guest has woken up, we can resume the party.”

At his natural comment, I couldn’t help but speak to Cheon Yoo-hak, who was covering his face with a slightly embarrassed expression.

“…Hey, Yoo-hak, is your father okay? He didn’t get stuck in a nightmare, did he?”

“Honestly, it’s a bit embarrassing, but he has his reasons.”

Reasons?

“The party hosted by our Cheon-hwa Group was caught up in a conspiracy. I thought that we were fully prepared, but we were caught lacking, and I apologize for allowing the intrusion.”

The people in the hall were all looking at him, who was holding a microphone and speaking with a serious attitude.

“It was my mistake. Although the damage was minor, perhaps I should stop the party and take responsibility.”

He flapped his wings, and a cool breeze swept through the hall.

“But I won’t do that. That would be surrendering. As if to say such acts of terrorism are effective! So that today’s memory will remain as a wonderful festival, not a filthy terrorist attack, for all of you in the future! Because that is what I believe my role is, and what a hero should do!”

…Wow, he had a way with words. Not just anyone could be a corporate chairman.

“I will take responsibility after the festival is over. But not today! Please, feel at ease and enjoy the rest of the festival!”

His speech seemed to have been streamed outside as well, because the moment he finished, a roar of cheers erupted.

“…The timing of the cheers is a bit too perfect.”

“They’re probably people my father planted. He didn’t intend to use them for this, but he’s a meticulous person.”

He was amazing.

What he said was plausible.

I wouldn’t forget the pain of the past, but I wouldn’t succumb to it.

I would smile brighter for the future.

It was a perfect sentiment for my current situation.

Music started playing, and people started dancing with their partners.

The first person to offer me a hand was Ha-ni.

“Gentleman, would you care for a dance?”

“Is this right? Can gentlemen dance together?”

“Why not? There are people over there just dancing wildly.”

That’s true. Wait, that was Jae-hee. He definitely found a partner earlier…? Was he drunk?

Anyway, there was no need to be self-conscious.

“Then I’ll be in your hands. I can’t dance, you see.”

“Just follow my lead~”

“Of course.”

I liked her light, smiling face. It was a world of difference from the empty smile she had with dead eyes while asking me to treat her like an object.

My heart, which had been cold for a moment, felt like it was beating again.

After a while, the first dance ended, and Ga-eul cut in.

“I’m next, you said.”

I felt warmth as I took her outstretched hand.

She was alive. The first person whose fate I changed, the one I saved.

“W-What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you’re pretty.”

“…Huh!?”

It was cute and funny to see her bouncing around with her face red throughout the dance.

“Hey! Cheon Yoo-hak! How about you and me next?”

“…Are you crazy?”

He was angry, asking how much more I was going to embarrass him, but he didn’t seem to hate it.

Thank you for coming to find me when I thought there was no hope left.

Thank you for coming to stop me, even if it meant abandoning everything.

“Yoo-hak doesn’t want to, so how about you, Noona?”

“Huh…? Me?”

“Yes, you’re my partner too. You have to dance.”

“Ah, um, that’s right. But why did you dance with a boy first? Unnie…”

“I realized things like that don’t matter. What’s the point of order?”

“…So-hyun?”

“Yes?”

“…No, it’s nothing.”

My sister’s dancing was neat and clean, but she would flinch and pull away every time our bodies touched.

I know I hurt you with my screams because my heart ached so much, but I want to apologize.

I know we can’t go back to the past, but I hope we can move forward and laugh together.

“Lilac.”

“Is it my turn?”

“Get lost if you don’t want to get beaten up by Yoo-na.”

‘I believe in you.’ I returned the words you often said to me, even though I had no memories at that time.

I’ll answer your trust this time, so please, believe in me one more time.

I turned my head and saw Professor Cathy waiting hesitantly.

Hmm, I wasn’t usually good at saying things like this, but maybe it was because I regained my memories…

“Would you care for a dance? My lady.”

…The buttery words flowed out of my mouth easily.

“Oh, yes. Of course.”

Because of you, my teacher who tried to save me, the one who reached out to me until the very end…

…I was able to come to my senses, even if it was too late.

The feelings you all gave me were more than what I deserved, so I would think about it seriously and give you an answer.

Just as we were about to dance, Professor Cathy, perhaps too nervous, stepped on her dress and stumbled.

I knew she could regain her balance on her own, but I naturally caught her in my arms.

“…Huh? Huh?”

Our faces were close, but strangely, I didn’t feel nervous.

Come to think of it, it was a coincidence, but the wound you made when you ‘donutted’ me was in the same place as the wound I made when I stabbed you with a sword.

“S-So-hyun?”

I helped the professor up, and we danced.

Her dancing was more like a powerful, disciplined military dance than a social one, but her body trembled shyly every time she put too much force into her hands.

That sight was somehow cute and pitiful.

The warmth of the hands that held mine felt so real that I felt an overflow of emotions.

“…Huh?”

Everyone around us gasped in unison.

“So-hyun, are you crying…?”

…Crying? Me?

Ah, I was. I didn’t know, but a stream of tears was flowing down my cheeks.

Ah, shit. This was embarrassing.

I wiped them away, but the tears kept flowing.

Though they weren’t tears of sadness…

Yet they didn’t stop for a long time, as if my long-frozen emotions were finally beginning to melt from warmth.

◇◇◇◆◇◇◇

T/N – Damn. This is so peak. I hope the real author can maintain this level of quality later though. I’m kinda worried now that they’ve suddenly cleared out all these questions that were hooking readers in so early in the novel. Hopefully, they pull through.

If you find any mistakes, feel free to point them out in the comments.