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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: cyno
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Byeok-rak was not the Divine Monk.
Though he had shown mercy to Okhwa, that didn’t mean his irritation had dissipated.
“Sob… Hic…”
Yoo So-eun’s tears fell endlessly, soaking the top of Byeok-rak’s foot.
The scalding tears briefly chased away the cold.
“Madam.”
“Y-Yes?”
At the word “madam” slipping from Byeok-rak’s lips, Yoo So-eun’s head jerked up.
A faint glimmer of hope flickered in her eyes.
“During the Great War of Righteous Blood, I told you I loved you multiple times a day whenever I was home.”
“…”
“It was you who didn’t believe me, not me who stopped loving you.”
But the moment she realized his tone was accusatory—
The light of hope in Yoo So-eun’s eyes quickly dimmed and scattered.
“Yes, you told me you loved me… Over and over, like it was the most desperate thing in the world. I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“If you knew, why couldn’t you believe me?”
“You expect me to believe words that held no sincerity…? Do you think I’m stupid…?”
“…”
Byeok-rak shook his head and closed his mouth.
The fact that the words he had forced out—even in his emotionless state—had sounded hollow to her was…
“Sigh…”
…just a little regrettable.
“Hic… Sob…”
“I did my best in my own way. If you still felt that way… then it was simply fate.”
“Your… best?”
Yoo So-eun’s voice trembled uncontrollably.
It was barely louder than a whisper.
“You flinched at even a touch… How could you call that love…?”
“…”
“Where is the man who used to hug me every day…? Who kissed me the moment he came home…? What kind of love, what kind of marriage is it when you push me away the second I touch you…?”
“…It couldn’t be helped.”
“You mean… your feelings for me didn’t change?”
“If I so much as brushed against you, I felt like I’d lose control. That’s why.”
During his regressions, the thing that tormented Byeok-rak the most was desire.
For a young man full of vigor, enduring centuries without laying a hand on a woman as alluring as Yoo So-eun was an unbearable restriction.
Even when his mind had worn down to the point of emotionlessness, lust was a separate matter.
So, until he had freed himself from the five desires and seven emotions, he had even considered castration without hesitation.
In his ethical framework, the idea of carelessly bringing a child into a doomed world was unthinkable.
“Then just lose control…!”
To Yoo So-eun, who knew none of this, his words were absurd.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Since when is a husband taking his wife a sin?”
“Bringing a life into this world that I can’t take responsibility for—that is the sin.”
“If you can’t take responsibility, I will. Like I did with Soo-ah.”
Perhaps because she was speaking so uncharacteristically brazenly—
Yoo So-eun felt a damp warmth between her thighs.
The fact that the man she had just dreamed of was standing before her, wearing only thin robes over his undergarments, didn’t help.
She was ashamed.
Disgusted at her own body for reacting so shamelessly in this situation.
Not that she could do anything about it.
“Madam.”
Byeok-rak spoke.
Resting her chin on his knee, Yoo So-eun replied.
“…What?”
“What if I told you your husband had an unavoidable reason?”
“…”
“What if I said there was something I couldn’t tell you, something beyond my control?”
“Don’t give me false hope.”
With a resolute expression, Yoo So-eun parted her chapped lips.
“I’ll take Soo-ah and leave the Namgoong family.”
“You’re not in your right mind.”
“It’s true I’m not sane right now, but even if I were, I’d make the same choice. What use is wealth… status… power…? None of it matters when Soo-ah is falling apart…”
“Stop. That’s the worst choice.”
“The three of us can live happily on our own…! Soo-ah would love it…! She never cared about the Namgoong Clan’s glory anyway…!”
Her words came faster, her throat tightening again.
But she didn’t stop pleading.
Because in her blurred vision, she faintly saw the slightest waver in Byeok-rak’s steadfast gaze.
At this moment, she was more desperate than anyone.
But…
“Sigh… Madam.”
“…Yes, my lord.”
“Soo-ah must be important to you. She is to me too. She’s like my own flesh and blood.”
There was one thing she had forgotten.
“But I have someone precious to me now. Someone who needs my care more than anyone.”
“Wh-Who…?”
He didn’t need to finish.
With just a little thought, she knew exactly who he meant.
“…”
“Please understand. She is the most important person to me now.”
“…Hic.”
Jin Gayoung.
The girl lying in a coma—Byeok-rak couldn’t possibly leave her side.
Even if it concerned his own daughter.
Because to him, a stranger who had cared for him was more precious than the daughter who had abandoned him.
“Sob… Wh-What do I do now…?”
“Then I’ll take my leave.”
“Y-You’re leaving? N-No…! You can’t go…! When will I see you again…?!”
“That’s your concern.”
Byeok-rak took a step forward, having paused for only a moment.
To Yoo So-eun, it felt like a thunderclap.
The sky, already heavy with impending rain, darkened further.
“Hic… Sob…”
A bitter groan escaped Yoo So-eun’s lips.
If only she had taken Soo-ah and followed him when he was exiled from the Namgoong family—things might have been different.
But what use was regret now?
Spilled water could not be gathered back.
A heart that had turned away could not be reclaimed.
“Sob… Don’t go… Please… I’m begging you…!”
Collapsed on the snowy ground, Yoo So-eun wept as if the world were ending.
“I’ll beg like this… I can’t do this without you… A worthless woman like me can’t protect our daughter alone…!”
She was terrified.
What was she supposed to do now?
Their daughter, already broken after just a few months without him—
How could she possibly protect her from now on?
She had no strength of her own.
The thought made her expression shift.
“…No. I have to protect Soo-ah. No matter what.”
Thud—
Yoo So-eun pushed off the ground and ran.
Her shoes had come off at some point, leaving her barefoot.
The cold bit into her soles, but she gritted her teeth and endured.
She ran with everything she had.
Even using Nine Palaces Step, the divine footwork of Mount Hua she had once trained so hard to master.
Whoosh—!
Like the wind, she flew ahead and blocked Byeok-rak’s path.
Then, she raised both palms above her head and faced him.
Not clinging, not grabbing—
But pleading.
Because she knew brute force wouldn’t move him an inch.
She appealed to his pity, his fatherly love, and the love she was certain had once existed.
“My lord, I-I beg of you.”
“Y-You loved me once, didn’t you? That wasn’t a lie, was it? Tell me it wasn’t.”
The cold of her bare feet? It meant nothing.
The moonlight backlit his face, hiding his expression, but this moment—where he at least listened—was her only chance.
She had to turn his heart.
“Your affair, your sins—I can forget them all. No—I’ve already forgotten! I don’t know anything!”
She pressed her palms together and rubbed them desperately.
The gesture resembled a monk’s prayer, but none of the calm wisdom was there.
“I’ll shamelessly say it…! I want to serve you once more…! Please, please grant me this…!”
Rub, rub, rub—
Anyone watching would think Byeok-rak held her life in his hands.
And in a way, he did.
If he refused her here, her life would become unbearable.
“I-I was wrong…! Your wandering eyes, my fault…! Your love fading, my failure…! I’ll apologize for everything…!”
Her palms burned. The more they hurt, the harder she prayed.
Hoping her sincerity could melt his frozen heart.
Hoping her love could rekindle his extinguished affection.
“I don’t need anything else…! Empty words are fine…! I don’t care if there’s no sincerity…! I’ll accept it, endure it, live with it…!”
Her pride? Bent.
Her dignity as a human? She had abandoned that long ago when she became a mother.
The last fortress of her womanly pride? Meaningless in this situation.
She just begged.
“Just one word…! That’s all I need to give up everything…! Like when I left Mount Hua for you…! I’ll take Soo-ah and leave the Namgoong family…!”
Please, please, please.
With that mindset—
Believing with all her heart that the man who had once loved her still lived somewhere inside him—
“Just words are enough…! You don’t have to hug me…! I won’t even bother you with physical contact…! So please, please, just close your eyes and say one thing…!”
She spoke.
“Say you love me. That you still love me.”
She surrendered everything.
“That’s all I need…”
But Byeok-rak had been raised with strict propriety.
“Madam.”
To him, lying about emotions was fundamentally improper.
“I’m sorry.”
To him, love was nothing more than an extinguished emotion.
“I no longer hold you in my heart.”
Freeze—
Yoo So-eun’s fervently rubbing hands stopped dead.
A sound of denial leaked from her parted lips.
“…Ah.”
No more tears fell from her eyes—but that only made her seem more fragile.
“Ah… Ahh…”
“I’ll take my leave now. And…”
To Byeok-rak, this was just someone else’s problem.
“Let’s not meet like this again. I’m sorry to say this, but… you make me uncomfortable.”
“Ahhh, ah, ahhh…!”
Had Yoo So-eun been in her right mind, she might have noticed something off about him.
But sadly, she was too deep in panic to realize.
Rustle— Pat, pat—
After draping his outer robe over her shivering form, Byeok-rak left without looking back.
Hidden by the backlight, the veins bulging on his forehead were now clearly visible.
He had acted politely, but he wasn’t happy.
This woman who hadn’t believed in him was now begging like this.
He had endured countless regressions, an unfathomable pain, to keep his love alive—
And here she was, breaking down over a little hardship.
Of course, he knew Yoo So-eun was inherently weaker than him, but that didn’t make it any less irritating.
As Byeok-rak walked away—
“…Stupid woman.”
—Yoo So-eun quietly cursed herself and wept alone.
Her broken voice could no longer form words.
Whoosh—
From the sky, not snow but heavy rain began to pour.
Drenching her clothes, her hair, everything.
“…No need for a bath now.”
Yoo So-eun muttered self-deprecatingly.
Her spirit had not just crumbled—it had shattered into dust.
And from a distance, a small figure watched her.
Her daughter, Namgoong Soo-ah, who had been observing the scene for a long time.
“…Ah.”
A sorrowful moan escaped her parted lips.
Pour—
Whether it was the rain or the tragedy she had just witnessed, Namgoong Soo-ah’s eyes were completely lifeless.
—
Meanwhile, Jin Woo-yong—who had been sucked into Byeok-rak’s subconscious after exhausting his spiritual energy transferring memories to Okhwa—
“So it’s you.”
—encountered something even Byeok-rak himself didn’t know existed.
“The one who turned my son-in-law into a pushover during his three years in the Namgoong family.”
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