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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Xrecker
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Games were precious to me; they were my companions. The first game I played was an open-world RPG, and I loved exploring the vast virtual world, excited by the new discoveries each time I logged in.
I started playing various games after that first experience in elementary school, captivated by their diverse stories and the joy they brought.
The reason I started playing was simple. I wanted friends.
My parents received a large sum of money after I successfully underwent the superhuman experiment, and our family, which had been struggling financially, finally became stable. Their business thrived, and our small apartment was replaced by a much larger one.
But that was the extent of their attention. I later learned that my superhuman abilities had manifested earlier than usual, in the lower grades of elementary school.
My parents were busy with their business, and I, left alone, couldn’t make any friends at school. As I spent more and more time alone, I heard other children talking about video games.
Would playing games help me make friends? I started playing, but it didn’t take long for me to realize the truth. It wasn’t that playing games helped you make friends; it was that children who already had friends played games together.
In middle school, I played various online games. The boys were interested in me, and I enjoyed talking about games with them. But rumors started spreading among the girls just because I was spending time with boys, and the teachers heard about it.
“Don’t cause trouble and just focus on your studies.”
I couldn’t remember the last time my father had spoken to me. The rumors escalated, becoming distorted and exaggerated, and my parents were called to the school. I’d expected to be scolded but didn’t mind. However, they didn’t scold me.
After that, I distanced myself from the boys, and the girls who’d spread the rumors, naturally, avoided me. I quit online games, which I couldn’t play with anyone anyway, and started playing single-player games.
I wanted to go to a different high school, further away from my middle school. I talked to my parents about it for the first time, but they just told me to decide for myself and then left for a business trip abroad.
They probably assumed I didn’t know they’d been able to start their business because of me. I thought about it while they were gone.
‘They built their success on my back, and yet, I get nothing.’
Having spent over a decade alone, my parents weren’t particularly important to me. I couldn’t even remember the last time we’d had a proper conversation or a meal together.
So, I decided to take back what was rightfully mine.
I started working as a superhuman as soon as I became an adult and, with the help of the Earth Defense Alliance legal department, sued my parents. The legal department had been reluctant to get involved, so I threatened to expose their inadequate support for superhumans, and they finally agreed to help.
After a long legal battle, I won the lawsuit, receiving the house and a substantial portion of their assets as a settlement, and I was finally free. It should have been a longer fight, but my parents, seemingly tired of the conflict, had decided to settle.
And from that moment on, I was truly alone. I ate alone, I played games alone. Gaming was my only hobby, so that’s all I did. Then I discovered arcades and found the fighting game I’d been playing at home.
As I played, people started gathering around to watch, and some even approached me. But they were only interested in me, not the game. Some asked me to go to motels with them, others tried to touch me. I broke their fingers, of course.
I’d never been criticized for my language before, but after a few people who’d initially approached me to play games together pointed out my harsh tone, they never came back. I regretted it and decided to change.
Around that time, I joined Hunter Killer. Pink was the only current member who’d joined at the same time; Blue was already there. Blue was rarely around, so I tried to befriend Pink, but it didn’t work out.
“I get it, but why do you talk like that?”
“What’s wrong with how I talk? Are you annoyed?”
“Yeah, I’m fucking annoyed that you’re asking if I’m fucking annoyed.”
I regretted it again. I’d repeated the same mistake, having had no other social interactions to learn from. I tried to change, but I didn’t know how.
At the arcade, men still approached me. I tried to be less abrasive, speaking less, and whenever I cursed while playing, people would laugh, seemingly amused. Did they like it? So I started cursing more, and then, after finding out I was a superhuman, they all disappeared.
I was usually the only one at the Hunter Killer meetings. Pink had started working at the cafe and couldn’t attend, and Blue rarely showed up because of her childcare duties. The team wouldn’t function if I wasn’t there.
Then Green joined, but I was skipping meetings to play games back then. When I finally started attending again, Red had joined the team. She was the youngest, and I tried to be friendly, but she avoided me. Green didn’t really respond when I spoke to her either. I’d been trying to be more careful with my words, but…
If I couldn’t connect with people no matter what I did, it was probably better to just be alone…
Then, a while ago, I’d heard about Green’s situation.
While we weren’t friends, she was a longtime colleague, and I felt ashamed for not knowing about her struggles. She must be busy, but I decided to offer words of encouragement when she returned, after she’d had some time to rest. I wasn’t sure if I was capable of comforting someone, but I could at least ask if she was okay.
While I skipped meetings to play games, I was genuinely concerned about my teammate’s struggles. I felt like a hypocrite, but it didn’t matter. No one cared about me anyway.
I went to a meeting, and Green was there. She was probably still struggling; why had she come?
She had to be confused and distraught. Being in this state would affect her performance during duels, and she’d feel responsible.
‘Did you consider how your unfinished business would burden the team?’
Hearing Green’s insistence on attending the meeting, I was angry at everything that had led to this situation, her being forced to push herself like this. And illogically, my anger was directed at Green, and by the time I came to my senses, I was arguing with Pink.
‘Let’s have a chat after the meeting.’
I followed Red, who was smiling, to the cafe in front of headquarters. We were the only ones there, sitting across from each other.
“It’s been a while since we’ve talked like this.”
“It’s not ‘a while’; it’s our first time.”
This was new, unprecedented, and Red also seemed uncomfortable, which was understandable, after my outburst.
“How have you been?”
I’d expected a lecture about Green, so her casual question about my well-being surprised me.
“Lately? Just playing games and…”
I trailed off, realizing gaming was the only thing I did.
“Games… I don’t know much about those.”
“It doesn’t matter. So, what did you want to talk about?”
“…Are you worried about Green?”
Her question stunned me into silence. I hadn’t been acting out of concern, but I was worried about Green.
“It’s difficult, isn’t it? I also felt a lot of… complicated emotions when I heard about Green’s situation.”
“…I was worried. We’ve been teammates for three years, and I didn’t know anything.”
“I know. But… it couldn’t be helped. Knowing Green, she wouldn’t have told us, even if we’d known each other longer. Let’s just be glad things are getting resolved.”
“Will Green be okay?”
“Let’s believe she will be, and let’s be there for her if she needs help.”
Red, who used to be wary and reserved, had become a true leader, considering the team’s well-being and thinking about their future. And Green, whom I’d seen as someone needing protection, was stronger than I’d thought.
Blue had moved out and become independent, and Pink had started contributing more to the team. I was the only one stuck in the same place.
“I should have asked if she was okay earlier.”
Red’s words made me look up.
“Ask her at the next meeting.”
“Okay.”
I left headquarters and went straight to the arcade. I knew regretting past actions was pointless; I’d been living with regret for years.
But then, I met him.
I’d thought he was another creep trying to pick me up, but
‘Teach me… how to play games.’
He was a crazy stalker who’d followed me home, asking for gaming lessons. I’d seen all sorts of weirdos at the arcade, but this was a first.
I’d ignored him and gone to the arcade the next day, and he was actually there. And we played, and he was terrible. I’d seen my share of bad players over the years, but he was exceptionally, unbelievably bad.
My frustration made me speak harshly, as usual, and I figured he’d disappear soon, unable to handle my temper, especially since he was clearly a beginner.
But he kept coming back, eager to learn, even arguing with me, his eyes always focused on the game. Was he so bad at games that he’d finally found someone willing to teach him, despite my methods? I could teach him, however harsh my methods might be; I couldn’t just abandon someone with such enthusiasm.
He was a beginner who’d sought me out. I wasn’t going to give up on him.
And now, I had someone to play with at the arcade, instead of just playing against random opponents online. While it was mostly one-sided victories, I enjoyed having someone to play with.
At the next meeting, I was thinking about how to approach Green when I noticed Pink and Blue stealing glances at me. They were probably still upset about our argument. I decided to postpone talking to Green.
Then I thought, ‘I want to go to the arcade.’ I wanted to teach him more, show him different combos and characters, share the joy of gaming.
Red had suggested we have dinner together after the duel, but I was too preoccupied with finding new things to teach my student and went straight home. I didn’t realize she’d invited me until later that night.
He’d been watching other videos besides the ones I’d recommended. He was trying, but he wasn’t improving.
It was okay. I hadn’t been good from the start either. He’d improve with practice.
I wanted to teach him more, but I didn’t like the arcade in the evenings. It was crawling with creeps, and I’d developed an aversion to the evening crowd, so I took him to my place.
He couldn’t overpower me physically, even if he tried, so I wasn’t worried. And I didn’t mind his company, surprisingly.
I finally had someone to play games with at home. And as we exchanged names, something I hadn’t thought about while teaching him, I learned his name was A. He was a foreigner working at a company, apparently.
…Could I consider him a friend?
My happiness didn’t last long.
I’d snapped at him while we were playing.
‘You should be more considerate of others, especially your superhuman colleagues.’
I knew, I wanted to be, but my words and actions never aligned. I’d learned about my teammates’ struggles during our recent conversations.
They were all enduring difficult situations, and I wanted to support them.
He shouldn’t have said that, interfering in something he knew nothing about.
‘Just stay like that then. Keep being rude, hurting people, and being misunderstood.’
It was a vicious cycle. I was rude, I hurt people, and I was misunderstood.
I couldn’t complain about being misunderstood. It was my fault.
Knowing it was my fault made it even harder to bear. I didn’t know what to say, afraid of hurting him again.
“Get out.”
If I stayed, I’d say something I’d regret. Sending him away now, then talking to him later, after I’d calmed down…
The moment he left, I knew it was over.
“Ugh, I’m such an idiot.”
I felt pathetic.
I’d pushed away a potential friend, a chance for connection, an offered kindness.
I didn’t go to the arcade the next day. I didn’t know what to say to him if I saw him. It was the first time in a long time that I hadn’t played games all day.
The trip was finalized, and I went home. Could I say I hadn’t wasted the opportunity the other members had given me? I was happy to be going with them.
…If, and it was a big if, I had another chance, I wanted to apologize to A.
I wanted to apologize for getting angry and snapping at him when he’d only been trying to help.
I worked weekends. We were leaving next week, so tomorrow might be my last chance.
“Oh?”
“Ah…”
I’d arrived at the arcade early in the morning, having gotten ready, and I ran into A at the entrance. He also seemed surprised, unable to speak, and I, who’d thought I was prepared, didn’t know what to say.
“…Aren’t you coming in?”
“Oh? Yes, I am.”
The atmosphere was thick with awkwardness, but I followed him inside at his invitation.
‘I should apologize.’
I thought as I walked down the stairs.
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