How To Ruin A Love Comedy – Chapter 7

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Nekorune
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A commotion was unfolding in the classroom when I returned from a quick bathroom break.

“Hey, Miura.”

One of my friends was smirking at Tetsuya’s drawing.

What was that jerk’s name again? I heard it the other day…

“Huh…? What is it, Watanabe?”

Tetsuya’s reply instantly jogged my memory.

It was Watanabe Takashi.

“What anime character are you drawing?”

“Ah, this isn’t an anime character…”

“Whatever, can you draw her naked?”

“Huh…?”

“I’ll be back after the next class, so have it done by then. Got it?”

It was phrased as a request, but it carried the weight of a command.

Miyuki was glaring at Takashi, who was swaggering around and harassing Tetsuya, her eyes practically spitting fire.

Before she could intervene, I quickly entered the classroom and,

Whack!

Slapped the back of Takashi’s head.

“Ow! Which son of a…”

Clutching the back of his head, Takashi turned around.

His expression crumpled when he saw me.

“Ken…! What’s your problem, man? You did this last time too.”

“What do you mean what’s my problem, you b… ahem… You’re sitting in my seat without permission. Get lost.”

“You goddamn asshole…”

Muttering under his breath, Takashi got up from the chair.

As if to get back at me for hitting him, he kicked the chair away so I couldn’t sit down.

I grabbed him by the hair as he was about to head back to his classroom.

“Aaaaagh!! Ken!! Ken!!”

Takashi screamed as his head was yanked back.

His reactions were still as dramatic as ever.

It felt good.

“Put the chair back.”

“You motherfucker…! I’m gonna kill you…! Let go!”

“Put it back.”

“Alright…! I’ll do it, damn it…! Let me go… Oww! It hurts! It hurts!!”

I tightened my grip on his thick hair, and Takashi screamed even louder, reaching out desperately.

He managed to grab the back of the chair and, groaning, dragged it back to my desk.

Finally releasing my grip, I said,

“Go mess around in your own classroom. Stop causing trouble here.”

Takashi, who was massaging his scalp, gave me the middle finger.

If I were him, I would have charged at me right then and there, even if it was just for my pride. What a gutless wonder…

I tossed him a snack from my desk drawer, and his expression instantly brightened.

He was so simple. Almost to the point of being slow.

After confirming that Takashi had left the classroom with a goofy grin, I glanced at Miura.

Then, I gestured towards his notebook and said casually,

“Nice drawing.”

“Ah, thanks… But please don’t take it.”

Seriously, this guy was all meek and submissive towards jerks like Takashi, yet he dared to talk back to me?

Maybe he felt comfortable around me?

Or was he provoking me, ready for a fight?

Or maybe he sensed instinctively that I was after Miyuki?

I wanted to smack him, but I held back.

Gaining favor with the people around Miyuki was a fundamental step in winning her over.

Even if that person was Tetsuya, I could endure this much to atone for my past actions.

Popping my gum, I looked up at Miyuki, who had stepped between us as usual, and said irritably,

“Here to lecture me again?”

“Why are you always so negative, Matsuda-kun?”

“What do you mean?”

“You act like you’ve seen a ghost whenever I approach you.”

“That’s because you always come to nag me. Go play mom with Miura over there or something. And you, what are you looking at?”

I glared at the chubby classmate who was staring at us, and he flinched, quickly turning away.

As expected, Miyuki called out to me in her usual tone.

“Matsuda-kun.”

That low, steady voice made me feel like I was being trained.

It was supposed to be the other way around… This is bad.

With a tired expression, like a teenager fed up with his parents’ nagging, I said,

“Alright, alright. I’ll stay quiet.”

Satisfied with my response, Miyuki smiled and started chatting with Tetsuya.

The atmosphere was cheerful and warm.

It was completely different from when she talked to me.

I was jealous. Should I just switch gears and change my approach?

No. Let’s stick to the plan. It’s been working perfectly so far.

But hey, Miyuki, I haven’t cursed once since you got here. Don’t you think I deserve some praise?

Can’t you recognize my efforts?

It hurts… It really does.

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“There are some strange rumors going around.”

The school nurse spoke as she bent over, replacing the bandages on my hand.

I stretched my neck, trying to get a glimpse down her cleavage, and asked,

“Like what?”

“They say you’ve been cleaning the bathroom diligently and paying attention in class. They even say you came on the weekend?”

“Is that a strange rumor?”

“It’s not exactly what I’d call normal.”

When will I ever shed this delinquent image of mine?

“There you go. Be careful not to get it wet.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And stop staring.”

She noticed me staring at her breasts.

But what was I supposed to do when they were right there?

Who could possibly resist those mommy milkers?

Not me, that’s for sure.

And here she was, fully aware of her charms, dressing to accentuate them… Such a hypocrite.

Maybe I should just go for her as a sub-heroine.

“You said you talked to the PE teacher, right?”

“Yes. He said, ‘How are you supposed to exercise like this? You can’t sweat,’ so here I am.”

“Then rest here for a bit before you go.”

“Alright. By the way, do you have a boyfriend? Or are you married?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

Knock, knock.

Someone knocked on the door while we were talking.

The school nurse called out, ‘Come in,’ and the door slid open, revealing Miyuki in her gym uniform.

Her breasts were impossible to conceal even under the baggy uniform, and her white shins peeked out from beneath her shorts…

I wanted to pounce on her and lick her all over.

“Hello, ma’am.”

Miyuki greeted the nurse politely, and the nurse smiled back.

“Hanazawa? What brings you here?”

“Ah, we have PE class, but… Matsuda-kun wasn’t there, so I looked for him… and I thought he might be here.”

The school nurse tilted her head.

“Matsuda-kun is resting here. He said he was excused from PE.”

“Huh…? Really?”

“Yes. Ask him yourself.”

I had no idea Miyuki would come looking for me… This was an unexpected event.

Had she decided to start caring about me?

Did she sense that I was capable of being reformed?

Miyuki strode towards me with her long legs and asked,

“Did you talk to the teacher?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Right after the last class, during break. The teacher said it was fine.”

“I-Is that so…? I had no idea…”

“Don’t tell me you came to try and catch me skipping class?”

“Not to catch you… It’s more like… to guide you, I guess…”

She looked so cute, scratching her head awkwardly.

I pretended to wipe my nose and waved my hand dismissively at her.

“Well, I’m not doing anything wrong, so just go.”

“No… I will, but… I can’t believe you actually talked to the teacher yourself…”

“If you don’t believe me, why don’t you go ask him and confirm it?”

“No… I believe you. And… Matsuda-kun.”

“What.”

“I think you’ve changed a lot lately.”

Those were the words I longed to hear.

I felt good. But not ecstatic.

Maybe it was because I had just compared myself to Tetsuya again.

But there was no need to worry. If I just look at the current situation, things are going smoothly.

“Changed? Me?”

“Yes. You haven’t been cursing lately, and you’ve been doing your assigned tasks diligently. The boys are happy about how clean the bathroom is. But…”

“But?”

“I’d prefer it if you could… refrain from violence. Earlier, you were grabbing Watanabe Takashi by the hair and… It wasn’t nice to see. I’ll make an exception for the groping incident. It was a bit much, but I’m really grateful for what you did.”

Miyuki’s advice to avoid violence could potentially be very helpful to me later on.

I was hanging out with a group of delinquents, what they called “yanki” in Japan.

And they were playing their childish yakuza games within the academy.

You know the type. They formed a club, called their members ‘family’…

They frequently got into brawls with students from other academies, and if anyone tried to leave the club, they’d do whatever it took to keep them in.

I wasn’t the leader of this club, but I was respected among its members.

This was a powerful weapon that I could use later on.

Just imagine. If I gradually distanced myself from those guys and started hanging out with the good students, they would eventually confront me about it…

Then, when they asked why I wasn’t hanging out with them anymore, I would say I grew tired of playing delinquent…

And then, I would let them beat me up without fighting back…

As I lay on the rooftop, bleeding and bruised, Miyuki would come running after hearing the rumors.

She would see my battered state and ask why I didn’t fight back.

And then, I would look at her with melancholic eyes and say,

‘Because you told me not to fight.’

Then, I would struggle to get up, limping away from the rooftop…

That’s a guaranteed super-special affection boost, you know?

‘Am I getting ahead of myself?’

Of course, there was no guarantee that things would play out as I imagined.

I didn’t know how the club members would react.

So for now, I should just focus on increasing Miyuki’s affection points.

When something similar to my current fantasy happened, I would use it strategically.

Shrugging, I countered Miyuki’s words,

“Shouldn’t you be praising me? I thought you hated Takashi?”

“Yes, I do. A lot. But he’s your friend, isn’t he? I was just giving you objective advice.”

“If I hadn’t chased him away, he would’ve just kept bullying Miura.”

“No, that’s absolutely not true. I was about to step in and stop him.”

“Takashi would have taken the opportunity to sexually harass you if you had stepped in. Do you really think you could have stopped him?”

“Well, no… but I could have called the teacher…”

I’m worried about how our innocent Miyuki is going to survive in this harsh world.

“It’s obvious what would have happened while you were fetching the professor. You know what kind of guy Takashi is.”

“…That’s true.”

“See? You secretly thought he deserved it, didn’t you?”

“Do you hang out with Watanabe Takashi because you like to surround yourself with people like him?”

She was changing the subject.

She must have enjoyed seeing Takashi get what he deserved.

Her emotions were so transparent.

“I’m just using him because he’s stupid.”

“Like you?”

“…”

Miyuki had a habit of throwing unexpected jabs.

It was a sign that she felt comfortable around me, but it still caught me off guard.

She giggled at my dumbfounded expression and continued,

“I’m kidding. Thank you for helping Tetsuya-kun today. I hope you’ll stop bullying him and become friends.”

I had absolutely no intention of doing that.

Actually, if it meant getting closer to you… maybe I could put on an act?

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. You’ve been bullying him all this time, so if you sincerely apologize and approach him, I’m sure Tetsuya-kun will forgive you. He’s a kind person.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I believe this new, changed Matsuda-kun can do it. I have to go now, my class is about to start. Rest well, and don’t skip the next class.”

With that, Miyuki skipped out of the nurse’s office.

Muttering to myself, I lay down on the bed and partially closed the curtains.

Then, I said to the school nurse,

“I’m thirsty.”

“Get yourself some water from the cooler then.”

I wanted to say, ‘I want some of that milk-flavored medicine from those big medical bags of yours,’ but I closed my eyes and swallowed the words.

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