How To Ruin A Love Comedy – Chapter 3

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Translated By Arcane Translations
Translator: Nekorune
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Neither Matsuda Ken nor the real me were ever any good at studying.

That’s why I couldn’t understand a word the professor was saying.

Looking over at Miyuki, she was focused on the lecture, deftly jotting something down in her notebook.

As expected from a model student such as her. It was reassuring to see Miyuki just as I knew her.

As I struggled to keep up with the professor’s lecture, I felt a gaze and turned my head.

Tetsuya was staring at me with a surprised look.

I guess it was strange to see me actually paying attention in class.

Scoffing, I focused back on the front and whispered under my breath,

“Seeing someone study for the first time?”

“S-Sorry… But you have the wrong page… It’s page 32, not 15…”

Timid, yet he always spoke his mind.

Well, that’s how he always was.

Except for that last time when he confessed to Miyuki.

“Who asked you? Mind your own business.”

“O-okay…”

After our exchange, I noticed Miyuki glancing in our direction.

Her eyes were still hostile. It stung.

Irritated, I ripped a page out of my textbook, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it at the innocent student sitting in front of me for no reason.

Well, it was actually all for Miyuki to see, of course.

Thud.

The crumpled paper hit the student’s head and bounced off.

Miyuki’s eyes widened.

I could tell she was about to complain to the professor if I didn’t stop right there, so I shrugged and fixed my eyes back on my textbook.

Then, without Miyuki noticing, I nudged the student in front of me.

“Sorry. My bad.”

He slowly turned his head as if he was used to it.

Although it wasn’t in the manga or anime, it seemed like he had been bullied by me a lot.

Ding-dong! Ding-dong!

Before long, the familiar ringing announced the end of class.

I glanced at Miyuki and was about to head home when,

Slide!

“Ken! Ken!”

Someone called my name as the classroom door slid open, making me frown.

It was one of my friends.

As the saying goes, ‘Birds of a feather flock together,’ and naturally, these guys were delinquents just like me.

Skipping class was a daily routine, and they even indulged in alcohol and cigarettes within academy grounds, both of which were forbidden.

I didn’t want to hang out with them.

Not because they were breaking the academy rules, but because they would make lewd comments about my beloved Miyuki.

The leering glances they shot her were just a bonus. It pissed me off even more.

Only Miyuki was allowed to look at me like that.

Anyway, as much as I wanted to cut ties with them, maintaining a certain distance wasn’t so bad.

Why? Because they would make excellent stepping stones to win Miyuki’s favor.

But I didn’t know their names. Not that I needed to.

Leaning back in my chair with a sigh, I spoke as the most punchable-looking one among them approached.

“What.”

“You coming to Ikebukuro today? Got a table at our usual spot.”

“Not going.”

“Huh? Why not? I even made a reservation.”

Huh… I guess you could say his reaction was very Japanese…

But I didn’t feel any aversion to it.

Maybe I… actually fit in perfectly here?

“I’m tired. I need some rest.”

“Rest? You? Are you sick or something?”

“Shaddup! I said I’m not going, so you guys go and have fun.”

“Really…? Well, can’t force you. Hey! Hanazawa! How’s it going?”

The moment our conversation ended, he turned to Miyuki, ready to tease her.

Miyuki, who was packing her bag, raised an eyebrow, about to say something.

Seizing the opportunity, I,

Whack!

Slapped the back of my friend’s head with all my might.

“Argh!”

Then, I spoke to my writhing friend in a flat tone.

“This jerk… Same as always. Get lost.”

“What the… Why’d you hit me all of a sudden?”

“Ah, damn it… Stop being so loud and get lost. You’re hurting my ears.”

“Jeez, overreacting over nothing…”

Grumbling, my friend soon left with the rest of the riffraff in tow.

This should earn me some brownie points with Miyuki.

But not now. Miyuki still saw me as the same as them… No, even worse.

‘But things will gradually change.’

Choosing to hold onto hope, I immediately left the classroom.

I didn’t look back at Miyuki.

Because if I did, I didn’t think I’d be able to tear my gaze away from her.

Back home, I cranked the AC to the max and collapsed onto the unfamiliar futon.

I was worried that I might oversleep and miss the timing of an event.

Unlike reality, it was very quiet here, so despite sleeping on a strange futon, I drifted off to sleep quite easily.

Come to think of it, I had fallen asleep very quickly after arriving in this world too.

Usually, I couldn’t fall asleep for hours even after closing my eyes, and I would wake up several times throughout the night.

‘I hope I don’t get sent back to the real world when I wake up…’

Praying that wouldn’t be the case, I pulled the blanket over myself.

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Encounters with train molesters were a cliché as childish and trite as they come.

However, resolving such a situation was incredibly effective, enough to earn you lots of affection points in any manga, anime, or dating sim.

‘There’s a reason why everyone uses it.’

And in Doki Doki Academy, that classic cliché was about to unfold.

When? Right now.

Clickety-clack!

The train was so packed with people that it was hard to even move

Having secured a spot in the same car as Miyuki beforehand, I took advantage of my height and glanced around.

Tetsuya was nowhere to be seen.

Figures. He would get a desperate text from Miyuki begging for help and come running from three cars down.

And Miyuki… was leaning against a nearby pole, reading a book.

The way she was concentrating with her head slightly bowed was so beautiful, it was like a painting.

Except for the pervert ruining the atmosphere behind her.

The guy behind Miyuki… with a face so villainous that anyone could tell he was a criminal, started fidgeting after glancing around to gauge the surroundings.

He was about to touch Miyuki’s thigh.

‘Ugh… Damn it…’

I had to watch as the pervert got to touch Miyuki’s thighs before me.

Anger surged within me. Initially, I was going to wait until he stuck his hand up her uniform skirt, but the moment Miyuki sensed something was wrong, I would intervene.

As I was watching them with that thought in mind, Miyuki’s body flinched after a while.

“….?”

Her eyes widened as she looked around, and she spotted the pervert right behind her.

However, seeing his nonchalant expression, she wore a puzzled look and returned her gaze to her book.

It seemed like she thought they had simply bumped into each other because of the crowd.

Seeing that Miyuki didn’t react despite making eye contact, the pervert grew bolder.

Taking advantage of a small gap that had formed between the packed commuters, the pervert’s hand reached towards Miyuki’s rear.

He continued to grope her thigh with his other hand. It seemed like it wouldn’t be long before his hand found its way under her skirt.

Miyuki, finally realizing that something wasn’t right, flushed with a mixture of disgust and fear.

I could see both emotions in her eyes.

As I confirmed that she was frantically searching for her phone in her bag with trembling hands, I made my move.

“Hey! You fucking bastard!!”

My shout echoed through the train car, previously filled only with the sound of its rattling.

All eyes were on me, just like when I had entered the classroom yesterday.

Miyuki, who had been clenching her teeth, also found me.

“M-Matsuda-kun…?”

Miyuki called my name in surprise.

Her trembling voice was laced with desperation.

The timing was perfect. The startled pervert had also withdrawn his hand.

I was glad I stopped him before he could go any further.

Pushing people aside with force, I approached the flustered and hesitant pervert.

As soon as I was within arm’s reach of him, I tilted my head back and then thrust it forward.

With all my might, as powerfully as I could.

Crack!

The sound of something breaking.

“Gah!”

And the pervert’s short yelp.

It was a perfect headbutt. Powerful enough to make the pervert’s large frame lose its balance and stumble.

I immediately ducked and pushed past the pervert.

Ignoring the murmurs of the surrounding people, I started pummeling the pervert’s face.

Bam! Thud!

With each dull thud, the pervert’s head snapped back.

There were a few small, bloody lumps by his head.

His teeth had flown out.

If we had fought properly, there was a high chance I would have lost, but honestly, I was glad things turned out this way.

Wham! Bam!

As I continued to beat the pervert,

“Matsuda-kun…!”

Miyuki cautiously called out to me.

I pretended not to hear, continuing to hit the pervert as if I was in a frenzy.

Wham! Bam!

As the pervert’s face became increasingly stained with blood, a few people in the murmuring crowd took out their phones.

They were about to call the police.

Seeing this, Miyuki seized the moment I drew back my fist and grabbed my arm with both hands, pulling with all her might.

“Matsuda-kun!! You’re going to kill him!! Stop it!”

The sensation of Miyuki’s ample chest against my arm was intoxicating.

The train had just arrived at the next station anyway, so I stopped throwing punches.

Miyuki then spoke in a hurried voice.

“L-Let’s get out of here… The doors are open… We have to go…”

“But I’m not done with him yet?”

“Matsuda-kun…! Let’s just go…! You’re scaring people… Hurry…!”

“Alright, alright.”

As I reluctantly got up, Miyuki grabbed my wrist and pulled me off the train.

The warmth from her hand on my wrist was incredibly comforting.

Just like her heart.

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“What were you thinking? Why would you hit him like that?”

Sitting on a bench, listening to Miyuki, I furrowed my brows in disbelief.

“Seriously? You got attacked by a pervert, and you still say that?”

“B-But hitting someone who’s already unconscious like that…”

Her sudden hesitation was cute.

Scoffing, I retorted,

“He wasn’t unconscious; he was moaning in pain like a pig getting slaughtered. Besides, if it weren’t for me, you’d already be stripped down to your underwear by now. You know, you’re so quick to yell at me, but why were you so quiet back there? Don’t tell me you’re into that kind of stuff?”

“W-What are you talking about…! Don’t be ridiculous…! I was just shocked and scared…”

“Ridiculous…”

Hearing that, Miyuki snapped back.

“Matsuda-kun, your crude language is the problem. Why do you always have to provoke people? Does it make you feel good? Does it fill your ego?”

Now that I thought about it, it was pretty amusing.

Seeing her react to everything made me want to tease her even more.

“Shouldn’t you be thanking me first? Why are you always lecturing me?”

“I-It’s not a lecture… uh…?”

Miyuki’s voice trailed off as she flinched, noticing my hand.

She had seen the blood dripping from between my fingers, and continued.

“Matsuda-kun, your hand… it’s bleeding…”

“I’m used to it.”

It’s not easy acting tough.

“Y-You’re used to it, you say…? Here, wipe it with this…”

Closing her eyes as if disgusted, Miyuki took a handkerchief from her bag and held it out to me.

It was a snow-white handkerchief. Seeing that, I shook my head.

“It’ll be hard to clean off the blood, you know.”

“That’s not important right now…”

“It’s fine. I’ll wash it in the restroom. The train’s coming, so you should head to the academy. Don’t want the class rep to lose points for being late, do we?”

“Still…”

“If you feel bad about this, just buy me a drink later from the cafeteria. I’m going now. See ya.”

I waved dismissively and headed toward the restroom without looking back at her.

As I ran my hand under the water, it stung like hell.

I could scream out loud, honestly.

Carefully cleaning my hand, I exited the restroom, only to hear Miyuki call my name from right next to me.

“Matsuda-kun. Are you done?”

Her sudden appearance startled me so much I nearly passed out.

I never expected her to still be here.

“Goddammit…! You scared me!”

People at the station turned to look as I cursed aloud.

Noticing the attention, Miyuki placed her slender finger to her lips, gesturing for me to be quiet.

“Can you lower your voice a little? You’re scaring people…”

I took a deep breath, bent forward slightly, and grumbled.

“Jeez, could you not scare me like that?”

Miyuki stared at me for a moment and then suddenly smiled softly.

The moment I saw that, I felt dizzy.

It wasn’t as radiant as the smile she shows Tetsuya, but it was still beautiful enough to light up the area around her.

Seriously, how could someone be that pretty?

Struggling to calm my racing heart, I deliberately acted gruff toward her.

“W-what is it…? What’s with the smile?”

“Thank you…”

“What did you say?”

“I said, thank you… for saving me.”

It made me feel glad I saved her.

Actually, it made me feel glad I was born at all.

I scratched the side of my head awkwardly and said,

“Forget it. I didn’t do it to be thanked.”

“But you told me to thank you earlier.”

“I didn’t think you actually would.”

“What do you take me for? I’m a person who knows how to be grateful, unlike some people…”

“By ‘some people,’ are you talking about me?”

Miyuki ignored my comment and changed the subject.

“And Matsuda-kun, you really need to cut down on the swearing.”

“First, it was my crude language, now it’s the swearing… Just stop nagging and go already.”

“Aren’t you going too?”

“I’ll just hang out at a PC or internet café or something.”

“Why skip class when you’re already in your uniform?”

“Because wearing the uniform makes me want to skip. Once you get a taste of it, you can’t quit.”

“I don’t get it…”

Her head tilted in confusion like that made her look so cute I had to fight the urge to jump her.

“I wasn’t saying it for you to understand.”

“Come on, let’s go. You need to put some ointment on that and wrap it up. If you leave it like that, it’ll get worse. I’ll let the professor know, so head straight to the nurse’s office when you get there. You can rest for the first period if you want.”

Seeing her say this so seriously, she must really be grateful.

Looks like I scored big time.

“Wow, you’re actually encouraging me to skip class?”

“It’s for treatment and rest. But you better come to class by the second period.”

“Who are you, my mom?”

Miyuki looked at me with an exasperated expression, clearly tired of my attitude.

She sighed and said,

“Fine… skip if you want, but at least go to the nurse’s office first.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then do whatever you want…!”

She raised her voice slightly and then turned away.

I snickered and moved closer to her.

“By the way, Hanazawa.”

“What…? What now?”

“You know you got blood on you too, right?”

“Me…? Where?”

“Right there.”

I pointed to her chest, and she looked down.

When she saw the bloodstain on her shirt, her face flushed red.

Quickly covering her chest with her bag, she glared at me with narrowed eyes.

“P-pervert…”

“I told you out of pure kindness. Why are you so sensitive about it? Maybe you’re the pervert here?”

“You could’ve just kept quiet…”

“If I hadn’t told you, you’d have walked into school with blood on your chest. You may be smart, but in situations like this… you’re a little clueless.”

“I-I don’t want to hear that from you…”

I’m just telling the truth, though.

Grinning, I waited for the next train with Miyuki, still bickering with each other.

Today’s event was a huge success. I’m very satisfied.

Even though my hand still hurts.

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